nils-little-freakshow

[nils-little-freakshow]

something to be said for the inherent intimacy of blood. spilling your blood for your lover, letting them clean and dress your wounds, blemishing their skin with your ichor and knowing they would retreat in disgust if it were anyone else doing it — but you’re special. letting them taste a piece of you and decide to take it into themselves, and in turn, you possess a piece of them coursing through your veins. every drop you spill is an ‘i love you’.

[nils-little-freakshow]

Interview With A...?

The camera feed crackles to life once more, after a long bout of silence. You're surprised to see this old show of death make a return, but Nil's smile is still toeing that familiar old line between mania and the façade of motherliness.

"Hello hello, darlings! It's been a while, hasn't it? But we'll ignore that for now, I have a little program I've organized for you all! I think you'll find it quite useful, for, ah... writing purposes, yes. Purely fictional things, just like this is, no?"

She sends you a playful wink, before lifting the camera off it's stand to walk your view over to her cabinets in that familiar old basement that's seen many a horrible thing. There's several bottles of chemicals, mostly cleaning products, and a few medical things as well.

She lifts a bottle of hydrogen peroxide up so it's easily visible in the camera, giving her audience beyond the screen a wide smile.

"The first thing you should always remember for your projects, is that this will destroy bloodstains in a way that makes them no longer reactive to UV light, making it harder for police to find evidence. You'll want to wipe up the majority of it first, of course, but after you've cleaned it up normally so it's no longer visible to the naked eye, go over it again with the peroxide, twice or even three times if it was sitting there a while."

She sets the bottle of peroxide down, then points the camera at a bottle of bleach.

"Now, everyone knows you shouldn't mix bleach and ammonia while cleaning, because you'll create mustard gas, but did you know mixing it with rubbing alcohol will create chloroform? Just a few tablespoons making it's way into only a cup of bleach could spell disaster for an unlucky soul, so definitely don't make that mistake, and especially don't mix them in glass jars that are easily breakable on impact, ok~?"

She giggles to herself, closing her cabinet and turning to the incinerator in the corner.

"Now, I know it might not be reasonable for you're, uh, main character to have one of these, but any especially hot fire will do, or one that burns long enough - if you're someone who burns trash anyways, the smell of that might even mask the scent of charring bone a little bit. Fire is great for getting rid of the teeth, especially if you crush them up a little bit first to be even smaller. If you can't do that, though, something known as 'piranha solution' - a mixture of sulfuric acid and, you guessed it, peroxide again! - will typically dissolve anything organic and porous enough with enough time. Makes a decent drain cleaner, too, if you've got something super backed-up... So long as your pipes are plastic and not metal. It'll eat that, too."

Next, she turns the camera to the countertop's end, and you can see a meat grinder hanging over the edge with a large bin positioned underneath the extrusion spout, surprisingly clean and in good condition. It looks well-maintained.

"Now, one of these will make disposal for your main character very easy, depending on how much they love stray animals or hate their neighbors. Free ground meat is typically welcomed by both, though, of course, one of those groups wouldn't be thrilled to find out what it really is. I have a hand crank grinder, but you might find electric to be easier and faster for your projects. Not everyone can live in a ghost town nobody remembers, after all! I have time that you might not."

She sends another playful wink to the camera, holding up her finger in front of her lips as if she was letting you in on a joke.

"Though, I don't need animals or neighbors to act as disposal for me, of course. I can do that myself."

She walks the camera back over to it's stand, setting it down and taking a seat in front of it, propping her chin up in one hand.

"Of course, you don't need to grind the whole body - organs have tons of market value, if you know what I mean, and there's people in this world desperate to save their loved ones who might not be able to otherwise. What a cruel world we live in, where innocents die to feed the rich, no?"

She gives you a smile, a knowing one. It doesn't quite reach her eyes, the fire behind them quiet but strong, keeping the smile from being read as genuine. A silent message - but do you understand it?

The moment passes, though, and she waves a hand as if to banish the tension that had gathered in the air, continuing to speak.

"Of course, one person can only do so much before raising suspicion and needing to step back, let time pass. A group though, especially a large one spread over a state or two, or five, or twenty... Well, now that would make for an interesting story to write, wouldn't it my little authors?"

She reaches out to the camera, hand hovering near the power button, but on your screen it almost gives the impression of her resting her hand on your head, or maybe shoulder.

"... Write the story you want to see in the world, ok my darlings? I look forward to hearing about them."

With that, the screen goes dark again as she shuts off the camera, and you're left with loads of information and subtext to absorb and think over. You could choose to ignore all this, of course. That was always an option from the very first time you stumbled upon her broadcast - she never made you stay. You were always free to leave, forget about it all.

... But you won't, will you?

[nils-little-freakshow]

I'll win :)

as soon as i get my hands on polls you bet i'm making me and my alternate self over at @nils-little-freakshow fight to the death

[nils-little-freakshow]

🕵️‍♂️ spying on your muse (why not sounds interesting)

Nil would be given a short amount of time to spy on Anti who was sitting on the swing on his back porch before the sound of a revolver being cocked and pointed at the back of Nil’s head.“You’re truely thick in the head–the others learned not to come here after I killed them the first time.”Came that all too well known heavily French accented voice of Alphonse,the suited man tilted his head a bit as a soft chuckle left him.Those Teal eyes of his sat dead against an otherwise overly welcoming expression that matched the honey dipped manner of speaking he had no matter how much he was putting the other down.Alphonse would waste no time and immediately fire off a round right at Nil.He had no time nor the patience to ask what she was doing here,and quite frankly–He didn’t care.

[nils-little-freakshow]

what- what is the what is the poison why does it look like that

~krabs :]

She gains back a little focus at the question, eyes drifting to the syringe.

"Ah. The anesthetic. Just a little concoction of mine, haven't named it yet. Several different plant compounds, and a bit of my magic to help it along. Mostly larkspur, but a few others. Concentrated to a near sludge."

She lifts the scalpel once more, cutting into the torso, then switching out for shears, cracking through the products sternum and ribs, opening it up fully to reveal the insides. "Heart, liver, kidneys, and bone marrow... That's what we need from this one. The rest, I'll reserve for myself."

[nils-little-freakshow]

i think the fact that you assumed im trying to find good in you or something says a bit more about you than it does about me, at least given the fact that i have NEVER said any of my intentions

tell rachel i said bye bye, please

~krabs :]

She doesn't bother responding, readying a syringe of black fluid instead, it's viscosity disturbing. Into the products neck it goes, the vein darkening before it dissipates, and if the body on the table could look any more lifeless without being fully dead, it just did. It's head dropped to the side, staring towards the camera with glossed-over eyes, every bit of tension the limbs still had dropping out like a puppet with cut strings. Still breathing, but faint. Very, very faint. You had to stare closely at its chest to see the rise and fall, and even then it was slow and shallow.

What a terrifying drug, nameless yet so powerful.

Nil picked up the first scalpel, working slow and patient, a faint smile gracing her lips as she drew neat little lines, around wrists and ankles and neck, up limbs and down the torso, not dissimilar from skinning a rabbit or perhaps a deer. Then, a piece of gauze to help her grip, as she pulled back edges, small cuts made here and there to assist in the removal, muscles and tendons and veins slowly revealed, gauze switched out whenever it became too saturated with blood.

She had the method down to a T, you had to give her that much. Nearly an art form, if it wasn't your fellow human being on the table.

There wasn't nearly as much blood as one may have expected. No more than what might come out of a very large chunk of beef, before you cut into it. The larger veins haven't been cut yet, and it's almost hypnotic, at least to Nil, watching them pulse in time to the heart, no longer concealed by skin. She took a moment to appreciate the blood-fueled dance, as she always did, running a gloved finger along the larger one in the products neck, eyes half-closing in what seemed like bliss, smile widening a bit more.

So beautiful. Just like always.

She dropped the first scalpel into a tub of water and iodine, the already reddish liquid taking on a slightly deeper tint as the fluids on the tool dissipated into the mixture.

She picked up the next scalpel. Glancing towards the camera, smirking slightly, eyes still heavy-lidded and high-looking.

"Hope you're having fun, too... Mm... Heheh..."

[nils-little-freakshow]

whos saying im tryna save you ???

~krabs :]

"You're looking for any trace of good in me you can find. Hoping you can turn me back from this, when I was too deep in before you ever found me... Or perhaps I found you. Either way, you want to see me get better. But I'm sorry, darling, it's not happening."

She gestures to Rachel - no, the product, Rachel is long gone - for it to get on the table. It does, not emoting a single time as it's strapped down, clean and ready for sacrifice.

Nil adjusts her gloves, and readies the scalpel, sending a small smirk the cameras way. "Well, enjoy the show anyhow, my dear. It's been a long time coming..."

[nils-little-freakshow]

how DO you feel about it, then ?

~krabs :]

She chuckles lightly, raising an eyebrow at you and grinning, all lopsided charm and fake laziness. She places a hand to her chest, mock regret in her voice as she speaks. "Oh, forgive me Krabs, I'm so horrified at myself, I had no idea what I was doing! If I say sorry you'll forgive me, won't you? You'll forgive me if I cry for you, right? Just a little bit of empathy to reassure you that I'm still a good person who can be reasoned with, right? And then you'll let me do it all over again? You'll let me get away with anything, as long as you think you can save me, right?"

She begins to laugh, small giggles at first, but soon falling apart into loud cackling, unhinged and bubbling up from depths too dark to name. Rachel stands at the foot of the stairs, naked and dripping, watching it all happen. Eyes empty, mind broken. Just waiting to be told what to do next.

[nils-little-freakshow]

you talk about rachels disposability like you dont care about her at least a little bit, nil

~krabs :]

"Did I ever claim otherwise?" She finishes up preparing, giving the table one last wipe-down, then gloving up, as the words echoed around the room, a sense of finality about them. Footsteps are coming down the stairs, now. They do not stumble or hesitate. She knows her fate.

[nils-little-freakshow]

well- okay, no one said it was about growth, but that doesnt erase the fact that there IS growth! if you habe a seed in a pot that hasnt been growing ever since you planted it, so you move it next to a windowsill to throw it away later and the seed GROWS, what good would it do to throw it away when its finally gotten the care it needs to start growing?

i know that rachels tombstone has already got her name on it but....i dont know. i dont know where im going with this. shes dead either way, i just dont know how to look at someone whos finally gotten the care they need while also knowing its all to kill them in the end.

~krabs :]

She chuckles, low and soft, abandoning the tools in favor of wandering over to the camera, tilting it up to look at her with a finger, as though it wasn't a camera at all - as though it really was your chin. "Well... You see, Krabs, I don't grow flowers. I grow crops. And crops are made to be harvested in the end, no matter the amount of effort that went into them." She withdraws her hand, offering a light pat-pat to the top of the camera, adjusting it to look at the rest of the room properly with the motion, before wandering back to her preparations. Upstairs, the running shower stops.

[nils-little-freakshow]

oh- yesyes !!! very happy to be back, its been a second so i hope youve been well, nilly !!!

doesnt it feel- doesnt it feel strange to you, though? i dont know, im not sure im ready to see this womans waterloo become her magnum opus. does it not feel at least a bit melancholy to you? its not like rachel hasnt grown- she obviously knows what she did wrong to her kids!

but i suppose its her life or the childs as well. just wish there was another way that would have been as effective as this one. killing rachel just feels like a thrown away oportunity for self growth, i think

~krabs :]

She pauses in the middle of organizing the tools, turning her head towards the camera just a little too slowly to feel human, or normal in any regard. She blinks, also slowly, like a panther would if it were relaxing in the sun. Waiting to go after it's next kill, resting before movement. "You thought this was about growth, Krabs? Now, when did I ever say that?"

[nils-little-freakshow]

HELLAUR !!! apologies for the extended absence, but its very nice to hear that rachel is doing better !!! though, its hard to know were gonna have to see her go so soon. its been a bit, so i may have forgotten the real reason, but if the reason why rachel was chosen is because she wasnt a good person- it feels like killing her NOW... i dunno. I mean shes obviously grown as a person, at least to some degree. not sure what the point im trying to make is, all of this jusy feels a bit off for some reason.

~krabs :]

"Child abuse. That was the original reason, my dear Krabs, plain and simple. That is why her grand redemption will be through a child." She moves with a calm confidence around the room, preparing implements and seeing that all was properly clean. Rachel is nowhere to be seen at the moment, but the distant noises of water spray hitting tile and the not-so-distant sound of it rushing through the pipes in this basement provide a clue to where she is.

"I'm so very happy you've returned, however. I missed my number one viewer of this little show. I hope what comes next will be worth the wait for everyone, hm?"

[nils-little-freakshow]

The house is empty, save for an angrily pacing demon woman. Nil didn't have many friends, but the few she did, she cared for with a nigh-obsessive protectiveness. And one such friend may just be at the hands of an abuser.

That was something that Nil could not tolerate, and it showed in her green-glowing eyes, the colour changed by her anger. It also showed in much more obvious ways - the stiffness to her shoulders, her hands clenched so tightly her claws threatened to impale her own hands, and the snarl across her lips that bared jagged and animalistic teeth, a low growl occasionally escaping the cage of her canines.

How dare he? Does he WANT to die? Perhaps he did - didn't he know that Nil was not so merciful as that when truly crossed? Did he not understand who exactly he was toying with, by toying with others?

A laugh crossed with another growl escaped her as her snarl curled slightly into a sadistic smirk. Perhaps some education would be in order then.

She could hardly wait.

[nils-little-freakshow]

↖ this user is an evil little creature just a no-good, all round bad fucker, a menace to society. just the fucking worst, absolutely detestible.

[nils-little-freakshow]

hello!!! um, I've been lurking but I just gotta say - you're making it very hard to not simp over your character. like, I just. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA. she's fucked up but she's gentle??? big tiddy demon gf???? she can kidnap me. I give full permission for Nil to gut me. please ma'am I would like my hair brushed too you can have my liver or whatever I don't care just hold me.

A simp, hm? I can indulge that.

Here you go, my darling~

[nils-little-freakshow]

hi i've been gone a while but uhhhhhh what happened???? how. how did we get here, she was scared of you and then she - huh????

~eia

Nil chuckles softly, while idly petting Rachel's head, responding in a tone that's both joking and sarcastic.

"Do you have ninety minutes?"

After a small sigh and shake of her head while smiling away the rest of her amusement, she looked over to Rachel.

"Well, I might be doubted if I tell what happened, so why don't you tell your story? While you can."

Rachel nods, still looking a bit nervous when her end is brought up, but still much more docile than when you all first saw her.

"Well... You all left me alone, really. Ms. is all I had, when you stopped visiting, so... I ended up getting close. And she - Ms. got me clean. It was terrible, being sick and aching, but Ms. was kind, Ms. bathed me and fed me and rubbed away the aches in my muscles and held my hair when I was throwing up. You... You learn to appreciate the small things when you have nothing, I guess."

Nil nodded quietly, still running her fingers softly through Rachel's hair.

"And the girl - the one I'll be saving - she has so much to see still, you know? Her name is Jasmine. I - I got to read a letter from her. Ms. organizes things, you see. I couldn't - she wants to be a veterinarian, her favorite animal is the capybara, she has a pet guinea pig named Mr. Sprinkles - I just can't ignore that. That all she could be, could be snuffed away. So I agreed to... to die. For her. I finally understood what Ms. was doing."

Rachel is starting to tear up, after talking about Jasmine, and Nil gently wipes away the moisture at the corners of her patient's eyes, slowly, tenderly, and oh-so careful of her claws.

"There there, it's ok darling. I'm proud of you, even if they don't understand."

"Th-thank you, Ms.... I just... If I couldn't do right by my children, then I can at least do right by her... She's my last chance to do something good."

[nils-little-freakshow]

It’s been weeks now. When you finally see her again, Rachel looks weak from not moving much, but healthier overall with the color in her cheeks and a less scabby nose. Her hair is less dull too, brushed recently and shining slightly under the basement light. 

For all her apparent cruelty, Nil knows how to care for someone as well. 

You see them chatting quietly, as Nil frees one limb at a time, moving each one to stretch and move the muscles by bending the limb slowly before returning it to it’s bonds. Assisted ambulation, something most people wouldn’t know to do unless they had a medical background - it prevents atrophy of the muscles, which can be painful. To those of you who’d recognize this, it would be a fascinating detail, a fun hint at who she may have once been.

But this is now, and now is not perfect, nor exactly happy. 

“Your lungs are looking clearer under scans, and your sinuses and trachea are healing from the internal soring you caused. Otherwise, you’re completely recovered, so you know that means you’ll be facing your end very soon, my dear. All your organs have cleaned themselves out.”

“Yes... May I see who they’ll be going to, one more time?”

“Of course.”

Nil brings a picture over, a young girl with tightly curled black hair, and holds it where Rachel can see. Rachel’s eyes soften a bit as she sees the girl. She’s younger than her own children, so small...

“Despite the racial difference, you’re compatible, and that’s what matters. I’ve already explained to you what sickle cell anemia will do to her as she gets older - but by giving her your heart, kidneys, liver, and also bone marrow to help produce functional red blood cells, we may prevent her from suffering at an 85% success rate.”

“And I’ve agreed to that.”

Nil smiles softly, reaching out to stroke the woman’s hair tenderly, like a mother to a child.

“So you did. And I’m proud of you for that. Not many people come around to my side, during all this. It’s the right choice, though, to save someone if you can, and I’m glad you could see that.”

“... Do I get a last meal?”

Her eyes are beautiful as she looks up at Nil, now that they’re not reddened and bloodshot or dilated until you couldn’t even see what color they were. Like a verdant forest floor, green flecked with tan and gold and the faintest grey-blue on the outer ring. Nil would be sad to see those eyes shut, truth be told - maybe she would preserve them when this was all done.

“Yes, of course. What would you like, my dear?”

“... I think I’d like to leave here how I came. With the taste of stir-fry on my tongue.”

Nil smiles softly, almost sadly, as she gently rubs her thumb over Rachel’s cheek.

“Of course, my dear. I can do that for you, before it’s time.”