nineclass-blog-blog

[nineclass-blog-blog]

School Bullying and Suicidal rate in the Young Generation

Bullying is when an individual or a group of people with more power, repeatedly and intentionally cause hurt or harm to another person or group of people who feel helpless to respond. In France, 700.000 students have been bullied at school and ¼ of them have already thought of suicide. Suicide is the second reason of death among the young generation (under 20), resulting in 1,000 death on 80,000 suicide attempts per year.

“Even small violences can, when they add up, have impacts on underperforming at school, on mental health, and can sometimes lead to depression or even to suicide attempt or suicide.” - Eric Debardieux, ministerial representative on school violence.

Since 2014, many victims of bullying or parents whose children killed themselves begin to express their feelings, they try to make bullying stop by writing books, going to classes and talk to children and explaining them what bullying is. There are many associations who victims can talk to, even anonymously. But even with this kind of help some kids can't endure the pain, the loneliness and the depression. Sometimes they think that the only way for the pain to stop is to kill themselves, they stop trying, they stop reaching out for any life lines, and they are not strong enough or healthy enough to stand up and assert themselves. Young adults have not fully formed their frontal lobe, so everything that happens feels like this is forever. They often feel like there is no way out, and this can lead to very impulsive acts. That was the case for Jonathan Destin who survived a self immolation by fire after being bullied at school for many years. Or for Marion Fraisse who hanged herself in her room, besides her was her phone and a letter which contained the reason why she did this hopeless act.

As a bullying survivor, I decided to interview my mother who agreed to be part of this article. Here is her testimony :

Can you describe what happened ? How did it begin and how did it end ?

It began when Armandine was in junior school, she told us that three kids joined forces against her. Police force went to the school to calm things down, they met the headmistress but she didn't do anything. We thought that in september this would end but when Armandine returned to school bullying started again. We filled a complaint thinking that it would stop the abusers but nothing happened, so my daughter had to leave the school. The headmistress of the new school directly told us that even in her school squabbles happened, she didn't take into account that my daughter was a victim of bullying. And it ended at the end of the school year, when Armandine was going to take her GCSEs, my daughter attempted suicide.

There is still weakness, we finally realize that psychologically bullying is not insignificant and that the pain stays for years in the kid's mind, that is obviously why she does this article.

How did you live this bullying through your daughter, the depression and the suicide attempt ?

It can destroy a family. We are lucky to have a united family because, thanks to this bond and our close observation, we could were able to help her. I knew some day she would give up and one night I came back late from work and it was too late, the harm had been done. When we are parents, we are not able to properly live our child's trauma.

Finally, if you could say a word to people who read this article, what would it be ?

The Ministry of National Education should call a spade a spade and stop turning a blind-eye to the problem that is bullying. Damages are extremelly weighty. I am lucky to still have my daughter with me, in this life, others parents are not so lucky. We were lucky that Armandine used drugs and that we were able to react, because a child who hang himself no one can help him, when it is done there is no turning back. So public services have to understand that bullying destroys families, even I am not over it yet and I never will be.

“The whole issue of suicide is an uncomfortable thing to talk about, but it happens, so we have to talk about it” – Jay Asher, author of 13 Reasons Why.

As a society we tend to shy away from these hard topics, but some shows, songs or others medias begin to deeply talk about it. Stories of suicides and bullyings are taking over social medias, news broadcasts, TV series, songs, etc. The fact that medias take an interest in this kind of stories is not a coincidence, with the increasing number of suicides and testimonies, many celebrities whom had been bullying in their early lives and because of their fame can create a whole new era.

A few years ago, some TV series began to deal with bullying but one of them really plunged into it. This show, called 13 Reasons Why, was originally a book wrote by Jay Asher, its story tells us about a young girl, named Hannah, who committed suicide after being bullied and raped. After dying, Hannah left a series of tapes on which she explains the thirteen reasons why she killed herself. When the show came out on TV, everyone was talking about it, not because the story was interesting but because one of the producers was Selena Gomez, the famous Disney's singer, who lived bullying when she was a child. Her name managed a TV series about bullying to have a huge success, whether it was good or bad. This series among a lot of others medias helped a majority of people to get through the pain, to find the courage to talk about what they were going through and for some of them to fight depression. In every media which deals with bullying, people are really careful not to offend viewers or listeners, that is not the case for 13 Reasons Why which is completely the opposite. Shocking the viewer was part of the contract to made them realize that bullying and rape can destroy lives, the one of the person who decides to end his life, but also the one of those who survive this tragedy. It is therefore important for people victim of bullying who look at this kind of series, or listen this kind of musics, to realize that there is often a lot of collateral damage when someone dies, and the person contemplating suicide might not realize how much their death will afect people that they love and did not want to hurt.

“I didn't realize how much they affected me until kind of later on and […] I found that I was generally very very unhappy at school” - Will Poulter, actor, victim of bullying.

Today, medias and celebrities began to talk about it more often, they try to raise awareness among us on the danger of bullying through TV series, musics, books, etc. A lot of celebrities have been bullied and take actions, they have an effect on their fans. The news create shows about it, the schools do outreach program. And yet, suicide is now the second leading cause of death for teenagers. And every warning sign, every symptom of depression should be taken seriously. A drastic change of behavior, a drop in their grades, getting in fights with their peers, or parents, or authority figures, substance abuse, these are all different signs to look out for. School can be a tough environment for an individual to grow and to come in their own.

As a survivor I just want to say that it is okay to not to be okay, it is okay to not be perfect, and for everything to be exactly right every moment of the day, but that you can past that. It gets better. You won't always feel this bad. There is absolutely nothing wrong with saying that you need help, I did and I am glad I had the courage to get back on my feet. I do not say that I am completely healed but I was able to pass over that and to decide what I wanted to do with my life.

- Armandine Class