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1. Prepare, Prepare, Prepare.

If you only take one tip off this list, make it this one. Prepare what you want to say. Write it down. Come up with examples. Run it all past a friend, to see how it sounds to them. Even practice in front of a mirror! Nothing will make a bigger difference than coming into a confrontation prepared. And preparing your thoughts to be presented to someone else is very different from running through them in your head for the four hundredth time!

2. Negotiate.

Before you even start talking about what’s bothering you, negotiate with the person you are confronting about what you need from them in this conversation. Explain that you need to talk to them about something, but that confrontations are hard for you, so you need them to listen, and stay calm, and give you their full attention. Promise to be calm yourself, and not to level any emotional accusations (which you can do because of all your preparation!). Only start the conversation once the other party is on the same page as you about how serious this is, and what you need from them to continue. If you think there’s a chance you might start to cry, but you don’t want them to panic if that happens, now is the time to make that clear.

3. All You Know Is How You Feel.

You’ve probably heard this before: “I” statements are much more useful than “you” statements! “When you do [x], I feel like you are talking down to me” is much more useful than “You talk down to me all the time.” In the latter case, all they have to say is “No I don’t” and all of a sudden you are in an unproductive quagmire of a conversation in which you are arguing about their intentions, instead of the hurt caused by their actions. But in the former case, a “No I don’t” can be met with a “Well, in that case, can we talk about why you do [x], if it’s not that? Or how we can help me not feel hurt by this behavior?” which might actually get you somewhere.

4. Limit Defensiveness.

They are going to feel defensive. That is pretty much a guarantee. That’s okay. Give them space in the conversation to work through that. Reassure them that you are not attacking them as a person; you just have an issue with some of their behaviors. Obviously you think this is a problem that can be sorted out, and that you WANT to sort out; otherwise you wouldn’t be talking to them about it! But if their defensiveness starts going in a seriously unproductive direction, gently point out that they are being defensive, and remind them of what you negotiated up front (for them to listen, stay calm, and not go on the attack).

5. Have A Sense Of Humor.

Humor is the great defuser. Just because this is a serious conversation doesn’t mean it won’t go a lot smoother with a joke or two. Maybe the fact that you are so nervous is a little bit funny; making a crack about it at a tense moment can let that tension out. A moment of levity here and there will calm you both down, and reinforce the feeling that you are working together to find a solution, not putting anybody on trial.

6. Know When the Conversation Is Over.

Once the issue has been talked out, call it quits. If the confrontation went well, this can be celebratory! If it didn’t, end things once it’s obvious that you’re not getting anywhere anymore. Either way, make it clear that the confrontation is done, and you are both free to carry on with your day and talk about other things. 

Best of luck!

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No matter what you’re into, there’s a forum for that.

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Thanks for bearing with me while I was sick, you guys! I’ll post an additional Long Letter sometime this week to make up for the one I missed on Friday.

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Tumblr user thelittleskylark messaged me today saying that they had had a bad day but that seeing Boggle in a hat might make it better. Twitter decided that it should be a bowler hat. Skylark, I hope this helps.

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"Deplorian" is nice, but I'd rather not associate them with Back to the Future in any way. Nazis already ruined the 88 MPH thing, and that's more than enough. But thanks for explaining "Dad Scheißwagen," that was the only one that wasn't readily apparent. Given that I think "Daddy" is probably the only thing I'd like to associate less with these things.

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OK BUT IMAGINE THIS:

Link doesn’t say anything throughout the entire movie, not a single solitary word beyond the usual hiyah hup ha etc. etc. until some point near the very end when he is interacting with Zelda, and all he says, entirely, 100% sincerely, is “Excuse me, princess.”

And that is all.

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I-

I'm still not sure how to feel about this.

I still think that just getting freaking Hayao Miyazaki on the story board and art direction would have been the only choice.

And this live action movie doesn't do itself any favors thanks to the people involved with it (cough all the marvel guys cough)

Because while Nintendo did great with the Mario movie, Mario as a whole in it's franchise is a lot safer to make a movie about than say Zelda.

The Zelda franchise has such an intense fan base (and I'm part of it I must admit) and it's incredibly easy to fuck this movie up. One point already being that it's live action.

I'm just kinda scared that they might fuck it up real big time.

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This is assuming that this is the one and only Zelda project in the history of forever that isn't delayed and pushed back numerous times, for numerous reasons.

Sonic The Hedgehog 4 March 19 2027.

The Legend of Zelda Movie March 26 2027.

Both movies are coming out in the same month just a week apart from each other!! 🤩

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Some of my favorite tags:

#house md #ITS SO FUNNY #when i was watching with my sibling we were always guessing whos gonna drop on the floor #bleeding out 4 different orifices and get 2 new ones in the span of 3 minutes

#house md #when i watched it with my brother we made bets on when we thought a patient disaster would occur #twas an (unsurprising) number of occasions where we counted down from 5 & then the patient started to seize/code/bleed from a random orifice #love my stupidly predictable show <3

I've been watching a lot of House MD while I work on stuff, I like that pretty much every episode starts off like this:

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my favourite instagram account is "wheredoesthepeecomeout" and it's run by a girl who asks men on tinder where cis women pee from and then documents their answers

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And now, to celebrate the tragic loss of the legendary voice actress Christine Cavanaugh to cancer, exactly ten years ago; we lose the legendary Rachael Lillis... also to cancer. Something about setting up a go fund me, because even famous people can't afford their treatments, because that's just how fucked up our healthcare system is. Also, for some reason, no one can agree on how old she was? Like, I'm not sure what's going on there?