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niqswifey · 1 year

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There’s this Tiktok trend about everyone’s Dorothea. Nalungkot ako. Seeing friendships na bigla nalang nag drift away sa hindi mo malamang reasons to the point I remember I used to have 3 Dorotheas in my life.

Naalala ko, ako talaga yung pinaka bago samin kasi magkakaklase na sila simula pa Nursery at Prep tapos ako galing ako Christian School. Nung una kasi galing akong afternoon class pero same lang kami ng teacher and they’re from morning class. Siguro, as a kid na bida bida, nakitaan ako ng potential ng teacher ko, na kaya ko makipagsabayan sa mga pang umaga na puro competitive.

Since Grade 1, we’ve been very very close.

Yung squad namin, not to brag but kilala kami ng buong campus hanggang High School department. Siguro dahil narin sa mga older brothers ni Jaja na that time was Highschool na. Yung parang mga nasa teen drama na pick me girls haha pero ayun, pansinin kasi kaming apat parang lahat ng schoolmates namin, eager sila to be friends with us. Lagi ring impression sakin is isnabera or suplada pero sobrang mahiyain lang talaga ako at hindi ako marunong mag initiate ng usap kahit kanino unlike them.

We know each other secrets— from our crushes, first boyfriend, first heart break, first menstruation… name it. From school pageants, contests, lagi kaming nasa list of active students. Jaja usually joins quiz bees and slogan making; then me, I have obsession with arts so ako lagi sa poster making, sometimes pageant cause I used to be classroom muse; si Shei naman, I remember laging mataas grade sa project kasi gawa ng mama nya hahaha wala sya masyadong sinasalihan unless group project, napapasubo nalang din sumayaw dahil samin, I think she’s more active sa computer games, until now adik sa DOTA; and Kim, sya lagi suki sa muse and pageants (saling ketket lang ako) kasi I totally agree naman na she’s the prettiest tapos siya rin pinaka matangkad sa squad namin. And, lahat kami achiever and nasa top list. Lol. Share ko lang hihi.

After graduation namin nung elementary, nagkikita at nagkaka chat parin naman kami kahit iba iba na kaming school, ako kasi naiwan ako nung 1st year highschool sa school namin then eventually lumipat rin ako public school. Si Jaja, nag aral sa ibang bansa nung highschool kaya parang nagstop narin kami na nandito sa Pinas magkita in person kahit iisa lang naman kami ng tinitirhan na subdivision, naulit lang ulit yung mga bondings namin nung bumalik na sya ng Pinas until nung nag college na kami.

Okay naman, so far so good tapos malapit na kami mag 18. Naalala ko nagkaroon pa kami ng quick catch up sa bahay ni Jaja, kumain pa kami ng left over cake sakanila tapos mango bravo pa ata yun sa Goldilocks habang nagvivideoke. Napag usapan namin debut nya nun, at the time wala naman ako kasi idea na may plan parents ko for me kaya di rin ako umiimik pa sakanila. And syempre if nalaman ko naman agad, sila pinaka unang iinvite ko. They’re my bestfriends for the longest time.

I think that’s the last time we were complete like yung apat lang kami, nung debut ni Jaja. The last moments we were genuinely happy seeing each other. Nag stop lahat nung debut ni Kim the following year, it was 2016. Nung debut ko kasi, hindi sila nakapunta and I totally understand but of course, hindi ko maiwasang magtampo. Hindi rin naman kasi ako mapagkimkim or nagtatanim ng sama ng loob pero hindi ako nakapunta nung debut ni Kim kasi I’m on summer class tapos same day, exam ko nun na need ko talaga mapasa for me to go on sa next semester. Nagsabi naman ako pero I don’t think they understand me, di ko lang sure yung kay Shei kasi hindi rin pala sya nakapunta. Si Jaja lang yung naka attend.

After that, wala na kami imikan sa gc namin. Since nasa Manila nag aaral si Jaja (NEU - QC) & Kim (UE - Manila), mas madalas sila magkita. I think nag stop mag-aral si Shei tapos ako naman continue parin naman pag aaral ko pero dito lang naman kasi ako sa Bulacan.

I got jealous with Jaja and Kim’s guyfriend na si Charles. Ilang beses narin nila nasama itong guy sa bahay pag pinupuntahan nila ako nung okay pa kaming mag bff’s. Lagi sila kumakain sa labas tapos meron pa ngang sinama si Kim sa family gathering ni Jaja na out of town, wishing me and Shei was with them. But its okay.

2017, me and Shei found each other. Parehas pa kami broken hearted. At some point, dun ko lang din narealize na nadivide kami into 2 when we promised each other na we’ll be besties forever, that we’ll be each other ninangs pag nagka anak na kami. Me & Shei were best friends for 2 years pero eventually, nag friendship over rin kami. Ang sakit nun for me kasi ang reason ng pag cut off ko sakanya is nung inaaccuse nya ako sa bagay na hindi ko kayang gawin kahit kanino, and she chose a guy over me. Hindi rin naman sila nagkatuluyan kaya kahit matagal na yun, masakit parin kasi she never tried to reached out or mag sorry man lang sa akin. Alam nya deep down on her heart na wala akong ginagawa sakanya pero pinandigan nya lang accusations nya sa akin. I kinda miss her sometimes.

Me, Jaja & Kim are totally fine but not close as we were before. Me & Shei? I completely forgave her pero I don’t think she’ll say sorry, or reconnect with me. After all, I’m sure nakapagsalita narin sya ng bad about me. Okay narin na ganun nangyari kasi I saw how she was with her other friends na naging friends ko rin because of her, sadly she treated me like them kaya I cut her off nalang. Hindi talaga ako fan ng friendship na nag aaway away and the worst is nagpaparinigan pa sa social media. The last time I saw them was 2019, dito kasi sa bahay ginanap yung mini reunion namin kasama Grade 3 adviser namin. Eto yung group pic nung reunion namin..

..hulaan nyo nalang dyan sino sila dyan. 😊

I still wonder how we were as besties as an adult. I heard from friends of friends na mom na si Shei. Jaja was already married (of course she invited Kim) and is pregnant, I think she’s living with her husband sa Taiwan? Thailand? Not sure. Kim was a little bit off to social media, pero I saw some of her tweets that she has a bf and then here I am, waiting for the perfect time, just going with the flow and happy naman with my lovelife rin.

I wish them the very best and I hope they don’t forget about me, kahit na di na kami lahat close, I hope they still see me as they’re friend they can rely on. I totally miss all our simple bondings na kahit matagal kaming ‘di nagkikita, once we reunite, feel mong nandon parin ang friendship.

If I could choose a set of friends sa next life, I hope maging friend ko parin sila non. I had the best teenage life shared with them even sa short span of time lang.

Its sad that I really treasured them as my persons and would love to sip coffee and talk about life once in awhile when we get old but look at us now.. parang hindi na kami magkakakilala.

Hindi pa naman siguro huli lahat?

Malay ko naman diba? One day, we’ll reunite.. again kahit medyo malabo na. Who knows?

I miss you girls.

you know, you’ll always know me

#ahemmhm sixtahz

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