nirrrrrrd

[nirrrrrrd]

Nothing happens for a reason.

Truthfully, I just need to kill time and I'm kind of disabled right now, so I decided to write. Thanks, gout!

I'll write whatever random, or not so random, shits that come to my mind at this moment. I'm sharing, but requesting everyone, to please, be kind enough not to read any further.

Oh, and I like contradictions the same way I like my comas. Or maybe I lied.

I.

Extremely curious to what would you rather hear first, the good or the bad news? Does it matter? Why does it matter?

It doesn't. Nothing does, no, not without your permission.

II.

You might wanna ask yourself why you're still here after reading that crap. I would.

Why do we keep on putting ourselves in a situation where there's no merit to us?

Hopes and expectations. We fool ourselves into thinking that someday, sometime in the near future, things will get better. It'll all work out. And if it doesn't, until the end, we can always die thinking we earned a spot in the kingdom of heaven, where we will finally be happy.

Cowards.

Aren't we all just afraid of doing everything, for everything we really wanted.

Of course. That's normal. Normal is good. Not the best, but it's cool.

I strongly believe that there's nothing wrong with people who would rather stay in the shore, safe, instead of swimming in the waters.

Want to be the best? Or at least, above average? Do not wait for things to happen. Make them happen. Go swim!

Then suffer from the consequences. Lol. 😈

You see, that's the mentality of strong people. I think it's quite careless for people to say, "don't be afraid of failures", "you can do it", "just do it", and the likes. Bakayaro! We are not born equal! While the intention is good, it might have the opposite effect. Just saying, not everyone is strong. Acknowledge the weak.

"kaya mo yan!"

"tang ina, sinabi ko na ngang hindi na e!" 😂

III.

Wow. You just won't listen. 😂

Having said all those crap, I still believe everyone is capable of being strong. Lol?

Although luck played an important role on why humans are at the top of the evolutionary ladder, it's also because of our ability to adapt.

Change.

We are all capable of changing. But it doesn't happen overnight. It will take time. And it doesn't even matter if you would rather stay the same, at the moment. ;)

I would, probably, always say, 'kaya mo yan' and the likes, whenever my friends need or would hate, to hear those words. What can I say, I tend to be careless. 😂 Know that, when I say those words, I also mean, I'll be present whenever you need me. I might be late, might not be physically there, but I'll be there, for you. ;)

What I really mean is, I acknowledge that you're experiencing difficulties right now, you might be screaming inside where no one hears, asking for help without really asking, and just, really, being a weak person. No fault in that. Whether you're okay, or not okay, doesn't make you less a person. Some people can handle it, some people can't. And it's fine. It's cool. I believe in you, even when you don't.

IV.

Unlike role-playing-games, life gives you too many options. It's all great and fun, having freedom and all, until it's not.

To some, this freedom, becomes their own prison. Too many possible routes! For every door you open, you closes one. Regrets and what ifs build up until it's too high, high enough to block what's in front of you.

Of course, it would be best not to have any regrets, for sure. But it is not possible for everyone. Or at least, not everyone is living in a moment where no such wall exist. And it's really hard. And you, sometimes, have to pretend that you don't see that wall, even though it's really there, staring at you, hindering you.

But then again, even without this wall, it's not easy for everyone to see, to know what's in front of them, where they're going.

We get lost in life.

We keep looking for direction, doing the same things and traveling the same path, without having a destination.

We're like on autopilot, traveling in circles, indefinitely.

And it gets to you. It's tiring. To the point where it's easier to give up.

But no. Under no circumstances, we should give up. Or should we?

We should give up. At some point, when giving up seems like the best idea, we should. We should give up being lost. Give up living in auto pilot mode. Give up traveling in circles. While the how part is still a mystery to me, with or without help, I'd like to believe that we can.

V.

Everything happens for no reason.

Whatever is happening in your life right now, it doesn't happen for a reason. In a general sense, you have to stop thinking that you are where you are because of some Grand Design, that we're not really in control, just part of a bigger picture, and there's a reason behind everything.

Really?

But I don't think so, and I might be wrong, and I don't care.

What I think is, everything happens for no reason. We are the one who should be putting meaning behind these things. We see what we choose to see. Anything and everything can be meaningful, or meaningless. Up to you. Not the big picture you think you're part of but, you, YOU.

V.02.

I think it's faster to ask someone near, who knows, than googling for answers.

I also think it's stupid to ask someone for an answer, when you can look it up yourself.

And I'm fine being stupid. 😂

[nirrrrrrd]

Ang hindi marunong lumingon sa pinang galingan, bla bla bla [Me, Myself, and I]

Writing is something that's been on my 'to do list' since, well, I forgot. The thing is, I always knew I wanted to write, I guess? Been pushing it off for quiet sometime now until a friend, a very good friend of mine, made me want to try it out again. Hi lykz 🤣. She told me, get tumblr, write, and now, I'm doing it. What I'm trying to say is, sometimes, maybe, people just need other people to empower them. Sometimes, you alone is not enough to make things happen. Sometimes we're not strong enough to do what it takes to be that someone we always wanted to be. Or, or, or, joke lang lahat ng sinabi ko. Lol 😂

I had tumblr before. Mainly for s̶t̶a̶l̶k̶i̶n̶g̶ research purposes. Just like in the past, I feel obliged to write something right after joining in. Just to complete the process of joining tumblr.

This is the very first and only post I wrote on my previous, unrecoverable tumblr account and I want it here, so...

Me, Myself, and I

I was dreaming. Inside my dream, I was watching Myself sleep. From the looks of it, I was convinced that Myself was having a nightmare. Inside Myself's nightmare, was Me.

Me was running away from something. Something scary. As Me was quiet busy looking behind while running, Me bumped into someone. Someone with long brown hair, who's wearing a black karate suit (wtf?!). Me realized that the karate guy knew something. Something that would help Me escape the thing or the person, Me was running away from. The karate guy told Me something I can't remember, that's suppose to wake Myself up.

I, now watches as Myself is struggling to break free from the nightmare.

Having difficulty in breathing, heart pounding really fast, and unable to move a muscle, after sometime, Myself managed to open Myself's eyes for a short period of time.

During that short period of time, Myself saw someone or something, that's more like a shadow than a person, attached to the ceiling, facing Myself, watching, grinning, as he watches Myself struggle from the nightmare.

I woke up. And now, the thought of someone watching me sleep from the ceiling won't let me sleep. Or was I the shadow like creature attached to the ceiling, watching Myself sleep? Am I running away from myself then? Scared of myself?

Or, or, or, nagbibiro lang ulit ako 😂 this me myself and I was written around year 2012. I think.

06/17/2018