niukoiku

[niukoiku]

Tumblr in 2025 feels wrong. I thought of you the other day; glad to see you’re doing okay these days.

It truly does.

I am doing kind of okay. Depression is still there, anxiety too. I’m better at managing it now. Which is good.

I often think about the past. Probably more than most. Little things just remind me of people or things and I get lost in those thoughts for a bit.

[niukoiku]

Just realised I should add to this. Thanks to someone liking the post 😂

I now work for a better company for more money and less days/hours.

And I’m basically a toy tester.

I don’t know how I managed to score this job but damn does it beat that shit. ☺️

I don’t know

I lost my job of 11 years today and I could’ve burned the whole place down as I left (metaphorically, not literally).

I lost my job because someone stitched me up. And whilst I’m mad about it. It’s probably the push I needed to find something better for myself.

And it’s bittersweet to know how they’ll struggle without me. All the things I did do when no one else did. Or if they did it, they did it wrong. So I had to end up fixing it.

They’ve lost their most dedicated, trustworthy employee. I wasn’t the best at everything. But everything I did do I did to the best of my ability.

I said it for years, you can’t pay someone to care. And they definitely didn’t pay me to care. But I still did.

11 years of hard work, doing the best I can.

And I could’ve burned it all to the ground. And I didn’t. I still could but I won’t. Because now they don’t even pay me and I still care.

[niukoiku]

I don’t know

I lost my job of 11 years today and I could’ve burned the whole place down as I left (metaphorically, not literally).

I lost my job because someone stitched me up. And whilst I’m mad about it. It’s probably the push I needed to find something better for myself.

And it’s bittersweet to know how they’ll struggle without me. All the things I did do when no one else did. Or if they did it, they did it wrong. So I had to end up fixing it.

They’ve lost their most dedicated, trustworthy employee. I wasn’t the best at everything. But everything I did do I did to the best of my ability.

I said it for years, you can’t pay someone to care. And they definitely didn’t pay me to care. But I still did.

11 years of hard work, doing the best I can.

And I could’ve burned it all to the ground. And I didn’t. I still could but I won’t. Because now they don’t even pay me and I still care.

[niukoiku]

Damn this has Changed.

I don't know if anyone I used to know still uses this dumb website or if they're just like me... check it every month or two.

So Have this, if you haven't seen it yet. It's important.

[niukoiku]

hate when people think I know stuff. I dont know anything, I just use Google. I Google simple words because they look like they're spelled wrong and I cant be sure. I Google how to boil eggs every time I do it. this is who I am.

[niukoiku]

Hardly. You can’t do much with an undelivered message.

That sounds like both of our faults.

However I do apologise. Happy new years. I know it’s not quite thee yet for you but I’ve only got three hours until the new year starts. And it’s really going to be my year. 😊

[niukoiku]

I didn’t get to say it back and you look to be semi-active here? Merry Christmas and here’s to a better new year

Then you chose not too. But I don’t blame you for that.

It was a good Christmas. I’ve spent today alone. I needed it.

[niukoiku]

i’ve found it’s surprisingly hard to screw up a relationship for good. it’ll work itself out. it usually does!

It's going okay now I think. Just feels a little weird. But thanks for the kind words.

[niukoiku]

Are you happy

Not yet, no. Striving and thriving for that though.

I’m not unhappy though I can have some bad days. Just taking things day by day.

[niukoiku]

what are you up to in life these days?

These days? Ooof. What don’t I do?

I don’t do anything. That’s pretty much it.

I work for the same company I have for far too long. And I’m kinda okay with that. I started taking art commissions which has been keeping me busy. Obviously still draw for and game a little too much.

Still single and not really looking.

It’s a pretty chill life.

[niukoiku]

Art commissions.

I do art commissions now.

[niukoiku]

BITE

[niukoiku]

I don’t really use tumblr anymore since everything started changing.

But I know I’ve also changed and grown.

And I will continue to learn and grown. And I do deserve to be punished for mistakes. Everyone should maybe? But the amount of second third fourth and fifth Chances I’ve given. Sometimes I wish I got that same treatment.

[niukoiku]

It’s constantly on my mind as of late.

Like this weird nagging, an itch that won’t go away sometimes and I get kinda mad at my self for it. Like “you don’t feel that way, how could you?” And other days it’s just like nice. Like a perfect day, plenty of sun but not too hot, a slight breeze maybe… a walk around my favourite places. And I don’t feel so bad about wanting to feel that.

Idfk, I’m a mess.

Need to keep growing I think.

[niukoiku]

i haven’t stopped thinking about this since last night

[niukoiku]

How often are you on here

I pop on now and again.

Tumblr has a lot of nostalgia for me I guess.

[niukoiku]

when manga characters add a ♡ to their speech... i wish i could do that