nixmaphasays

[nixmaphasays]

★★★ To be Me ★★★

If only out of vanity i have often wondered

what kind of woman i will be when i am well past

the summer of my raging youth…

Will i still be raising revolutionary flags and

making impassioned speeches that stir up passion

in the hearts of suited liberals dressed in

navy blue conservative wear? In those yearz

when i am grateful i stil have a good, steady

bladder that does not leak on digestive prune

juice into diapers (no longer adorable), will i

be more greatful for that than any forward

movement in any current political cause and

will it have been worth it then?

Wil it have been worth the long hourz of not

sleeping that produce little more than reems

of badly written verses that catapulted me

into little terrorist spasms but would not even

whet the appetite of the 3 o’clock crowd of the

least respected New York poetry cafés?

Will i wish then that i had taken that job

working at the bank or that one looking after

that old lady drooling over her soft boiled

eggs and telling me how she waz a raging

beauty in the 60s, how she could have had any

man she wanted but she chose the one least

likely to succeed and thatz why when the Son-

of-a-bitch died she had to move into this

place because he was government subsidised.

Will i tel my young attendant how slender i waz

back then, painting pictures of young-me more

beautiful than i ever was if only to make her

forget the shrieveled paper skin, the stained

but even dental plates and the faint smell of

urine that tendz to linger in places specially

built for revolutionaries whose causes have

been won or forgotten?

Will i still be lesbian then or will the Charter

family finally convince me to marry some man

with a smaller dick than the one my woman

uses to afford me VIOLENT and MULTIPLE

orgasms!? Will the staff smile at me and

humour my accentricities to my face but laugh

at me in their private resting rooms saying:

“She must have been something in her day…”.

And most days? Most days i dont know what i

wil be like but everyday, EVERY SINGLE DAY I

KNOW WHAT I WOULD LIKE TO BE NOW…

I want to be that voice that makes Juliane so

scared that he hires two butch, black

bodyguardz. I want to write that poem that

the New York Times wil not print because it

might start some sort of black, or lesbian or

even white revolution. I want to go to secret

meetings and under the guise of female

friendship id like to bed the women of these

young and eager revolutionaries with too much

zeal for their cause and too little passion for

the women who follow them from city to city in

separate rooms. I want to be 40yrz old and

weigh 200 poundz and ride a motorcycle in the

winter time, (with) 4 hell-raising children and a 110

pound female lover who writes poetry about my

life and my children and loves me like no one

has ever loved me before. I want to be that

girl your parents use as a bad example of a

lady. I want to be that dyke who likes to fuck

men. I want to be that politician who never

lies. Id like to be that girl who never-ever

cries. I want to go down in history in a

chapter marked “miscellaneous” because the

writers could find no other way to classify me

in a world where classification iz key… I want

to erase the straight lines so i can be “Me”!

- Staceyann Chin

[nixmaphasays]

34 excuses for why we failed at love - Warsan Shire

34 excuses for why we failed at love – Warsan Shire

34 excuses for why we failed at love I’m lonely so I do lonely things Loving you was like going to war; I never came back the same. You hate women, just like your father and his father, so it runs in your blood. I was wandering the derelict car park of your heart looking for a ride home. You’re a ghost town I’m too patriotic to leave. I stay because you’re the beginning of the dream I want to…

[nixmaphasays]

Looking like i caught a lick... 😋😜👅 #Friyay #Birthday #Queen (at Johannesburg, Gauteng)

[nixmaphasays]

I want it all! #Chooseday

[nixmaphasays]

May the good Lord bless her and keep her as she continues to be a blessing unto us. My mommy 😍😍😍 THE Queen 👑 FYI: "Reina" means Queen in Spanish 👸🍾🎂🎊🎉😍

[nixmaphasays]

It's my parent's birthday weekend🎉🎂🎁. Today would have been my dad's 64th and my mom turns 63 tomorrow 🍾🎊. I'm blessed to call these two "Mine" 😍😄 Although Papa is sorely missed, I'm glad i made the trip home to spend this weekend with them. And i know he is proud of the woman they raised in Me 👑👸😋 It's a bittersweet birthday but a little cake goes a long way. Happy blessed birthday, Papa . Re sa le rata 💗 (at Moletjie Thambo)

[nixmaphasays]

🌹s from my ❤

[nixmaphasays]

Because cocktails are always a good idea #Monday

[nixmaphasays]

This was us last #HeritageDay. Throw🔙 #pedi #Zulu #Ndebele

[nixmaphasays]

[nixmaphasays]

Family over everything. #sorrynotsorry

[nixmaphasays]

"...Just because it's Wednesday. With all my ❤" #Spoiled

[nixmaphasays]

Happy blessed birthday to my Queen 👑🐝👑🐝👑🐝👑🐝👑🐝👑 (at Johannesburg, Gauteng)

[nixmaphasays]

Dear little-girl-in-grown-woman-shoes, You are guided by the same force that aligns the stars. Your will can change minds and move hearts Compromise Nothing. You are magnificent in all your imperfections Your journey is your masterpiece. May you continue to remind yourself that there is no excuse big enough to stop you from achieving your goals and being who you want to be. Power to you. Keep on. - love 🐼 (at Johannesburg, Gauteng)

[nixmaphasays]

It's Monday. Let's go get 'em

[nixmaphasays]

Sunday squad so deep 💖

[nixmaphasays]

I have always been cool 😎 #TBT #babygirl #lookatme 😍