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GUYS SABI NG CRUSH KO "knowing you, you'll do well" SO MAGAARAL AKO MAIGI
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To whatever version of myself is rereading this, I never thought I'd find home again. But it exists. In Jp, Jherimi, Isaiah, and Ate Yana.
In Gabby, Nicole, Aly, and Jasmine.
In Riley and Nige.
In literally everyone else but him. There's warmth there that's so different than his and it wouldn't be fair to compare them.
Home exists again. Your heart has a place to rest as they put the pieces back together.
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I'll literally never tell anyone this, but the thing is Riley makes me so happy when I see him, not in the heart fluttering kinda way just, it's relief.
I don't know if I'm confusing that feeling of safety for romantic feelings kasi I just miss that but his hugs are so nice and comfy and I kinda wonder what it would be like to cuddle for a little while talking nonstop.
I tend to cling onto the first person that holds onto me while I'm recovering from something shitty and maybe that's why it always ends up miserable. I won't let this feeling fester, this is me nipping it in the bud.
But just so that it exists, somewhere out there, in a universe where we met under different circumstances, one where I've never fallen for anyone and he never intends to leave the country, I would have given this feeling the ability to take root.
Maybe in that one I would have told Gershon all about this too, cause in that one nothing got fucked.
I won't acknowledge the existence of this after this post, but that's another thing, Riley has never fallen for anyone seriously yet as far as all the stories he's told me. And someone so broken as me shouldn't fuck that up for him. I want to cheer him on with my entire heart as he chases after his dreams.
ACTUALLY I WANNA BE HIS BEST FRIEND
Kasi rn he's that to me I think, pero dapat ung best friend mo best friend ka rin diba? Idk
Chaka I'm still hung up on Shon honestly, not like before, not like I thought I'd be, but it wouldn't be fair to anyone.
All I know is Riley ticks so many of the boxes I've written down and his cold hands are actually so nice to hold.
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