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"Emergency evacuation ejaculation assembly point"

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some of you will with your whole chest berate people for finding egg "jokes" uncomfortable but the "jokes" in question are just "why are you a MAN enjoying a GIRL thing?? 🧐🤔 (girl thing is when pink btw) the ONLY reason a 'man' 🙄 might like girl thing (pink) is if 'he' is secretly GIRL see you on estrogen in five months mama mwa mwa 😘" as if that's not a deranged thing to say to a complete stranger and then less than five minutes later will reblog a post about how dangerous gender essentialism is and how we shouldn't ascribe arbitrary rules to gender and like I do think we have completely lost the fucking plot.

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Beat the Big Crock miniboss on the second try. Its attacks are repetitive, but you need to really figure out when to dodge because it's nasty with it. Quite proud of myself (though the way it just bursts from behind the ice wall scared the living shit out of me)

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I've been doing a lot of thinking about my family and how I was treated as a child, and honestly, my father has never seemed more amazing in my eyes.

I used to love Luigi(Mario's brother) when I was little. Like, he was my favorite character ever, and I had multiple plushies of him. Didn't give a fuck about Mario, vaguely tolerated Peach, but I loved Luigi.

On my first day of kindergarten, my dad gave me the number for his work phone and said it was Luigi's phone number. "If anything happens at school, call Luigi."And not even twenty minutes into my first day, I was having a panic attack. So I went down to the principal's office and called "Luigi."

Now, at the time, my father was in a meeting with his manager and his supervisor, along with most of his coworkers. And when I called, he picked up before he even left the room.

And he put on a very awful Italian accent and said, "Itsa me, Luigi! Whatsa the matter?"In front of his boss and coworkers. Without telling them what was going on. So they were absolutely bewildered, and he carried on like they didn't even exist. He only explained what was happening after I had calmed down and hung up, to which most of them responded with "Aww, cute."

I continued to call him whenever I got upset at school, and eventually his coworkers got in on it. I distinctly remember one of them impersonating Toad. I don't know why I'm telling you this, I just thought it might make you smile :)

this is so delightful I love your Luigi dad

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I'm always living on the verge of getting banned from this site

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I think more people should add profoundly unsexy traits to their original characters and character headcanons tbh.

Where’s all the OCs out there who’ve got IBS. What about ones that drool in their sleep. “Your fav has dandruff” type of shit

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it's me and the specter against the world

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> lost some hair due to thyroid issues

> doctor prescribes a medicine for hair growth

> medicine causes further hair shedding

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(trying to give relationship advice) from a narrative perspective i think both of you dying together would be the most emotionally satisfying resolution but i’m guessing that’s not what you want to hear

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the more things change the more they stay the same

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👁️‍🗨️

Long lying.

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Pandemonium is the hottest Legion arm solely because of the fingernails

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it actually completely unironically pisses me off that there was times when i wasn't alive and there will be times when i'm not alive. i should have been there for everything

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pet cemetery in yorkshire. it was the biggest stone in the lot 🐁