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Exposure

During the early stages of the molestation, my father used pornographic materials as a way of coercing me into having sex with him.   

Second my father used the pictures to justify his abuse and to convince me that what we were doing was normal. The idea was that f men were doing it to women in the pictures, then it was OK for him to do it to me.

Like my father, my husband was using pornography to tell me what he wanted me to be and do. Like my father, my husband was telling me that females were just sexual plaything.

He told me that because i am female i am here to be used and abused by him, and that because he is a male he is the master and i am his slave.

He told me if i loved him i would do these things. If i tried it enough, i would probably like it or learn to like it.

He held up a porn magazine with a picture of a beaten woman and said, "I want you to look like that. I want you to hurt". Why must this person suffer punishment in order to experience sexual feelings? Why must this person be humiliated and disciplined and whipped and beaten until he bleeds in order to have access to his homoerotic passion. Where is the sexual freedom?

Diana E.H. Russell (1993) Making violence sexy: feminist views on pornography. Buckingham, Open University Press 

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Rape myths

Myth 1: Rape Occurs Between Strangers in Dark Alleys

Fact: Only around 10% of rapes are committed by 'strangers'. Around 90% of rapes are committed by known men, and often by someone who the survivor has previously trusted or even loved. Victims are often raped in their homes.

Myth 2: Women Provoke Rape By The Way They Dress or Act

Fact: dressing attractively and flirting is an invitation for attention and/or admiration, not for rape. People of all ages, genders, classes, cultures, abilities, sexualities, races and religions are raped. Rape is an act of violence and control.

Myth 3: Women Who Drink Alcohol or Use Drugs Are Asking to Be Raped

Fact: Women have the same right to consume alcohol as men. Drugs and alcohol are never the cause of rape or sexual assault. It is the attacker who is committing the crime, not the drugs and/or alcohol. Likewise, stress and depression don't turn people into rapists or justify sexual violence.

Myth 4: It's only rape if someone is physically forced into sex and has the injuries to show for it.

Fact: ometimes people who are raped sustain internal and/or external injuries and sometimes they don't.  Rapists will sometimes use weapons or threats of violence to prevent a physical struggle or sometimes they will take advantage of someone who isn't able to consent, because they are drunk or asleep for example.  

Myth 5: If the victim didnt complain immediately it wasnt rape

Fact: the trauma of rape can cause feelings of shame and guilt which might inhibit a victim from making a complaint. This fact was recognised by the Court of Appeal in R v D (JA) October 24 2008, where it was held that judges are entitled to direct juries that due to shame and shock, victims of rape might not complain for some time, and that a late complaint does not necessarily mean that its a false complaint. Only three in 10 rapes are reported to law enforcement. It is not easy to talk about being raped. The experience of re-telling what happened may cause the person to relive the trauma

Myth 6: If She Didn't Scream, Fight or Get Injured, It Wasn't Rape

Fact: Victims in rape situations are often legitimately afraid of being killed or seriously injured and so co-operate with the rapist to save their lives. Rapists use many manipulative techniques to intimidate and coerce their victims. Victims in a rape situations often become physically paralysed with terror or shock and are unable to move or fight.

Myth 7: People who were sexually abused as children are likely to become abusers themselves.

Fact: This is a dangerous myth, offensive and unhelpful to adult survivors of childhood sexual abuse, which is sometimes used to explain or excuse the behaviour of those who rape and sexually abuse children. The vast majority of those who are sexually abused as children will never perpetrate sexual violence against others. There is no excuse or explanation for sexual violence against children or adults.  

Myth 8: Prostitutes cannot be raped.

Fact: Prostitutes have the same rights with regards to consent as anyone else: the transactions they negotiate with clients are for consensual activities, not rape.

Myth 9: Women cannot be sexually assaulted by their husbands or boyfriends

Fact: Legally, women have the right to say no, to any form of sex with anyone, including their spouse or the person they are dating.

Myth 10: Women secretly want to be raped.

Fact: There is a big difference between fantasizing about aggressive sex and wanting to be raped.A woman is in control of her fantasies; however, women are not in control when they are being sexually assaulted. Rape is a violent, terrorizing, and often humiliating experience that no woman wants or asks for.

And there are more rape myths than i’ve listed here!

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Couple of facts

Diana E.H. Russell (1993) Making violence sexy: feminist views on pornography. 

Things that need to be understood!  

The women in pornography are most often victims of child sexual abuse. Some studies show that 65 to 75 percent of the current population of women in prostitution and pornography have been abused as children, usually in the home. 

Women in pornography are poor women, usually uneducated. Pornography exists in a society in which women are economically disadvantaged. 

Many women are forced into pornography as children by fathers who sexually abuse them. Many women are forced  into pornography by husbands, many of whom are violent. Many woen are photographed by lovers and find the photographs published as pornography in revenge or retaliation. 

I heard women testify that men had used pornography to coerce them into sex acts; I heard a woman who had been gang-raped by men who had been using pornography; I heard a woman whose husband used a pornography magazine as a handbook for how to tie her up with rope and sexually assault her. 

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Comic from Hustler. Woman doesn’t look like she is enjoying what she is experiencing. She is used to that kind of a level where sperm is coming out of all of her possible holes..

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Hustler saying that it is OK to have sex with a much younger girl that could be your daughter. But more to that it shows that he chose not to have sex with his wife but instead has sex with a young girl because that “couldn’t hurt”. Again you should notice that a man is not a wealthy business man or a decent good looking guy, but an old fat man. 

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Hustler promoting zoofilia

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In most of the Playboy comics there is shown old men with very young girls, most of the time girls could even be their daughters. We must see that men that are shown in comics are usually fat, greasy men too.

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Playboy comic saying that it is OK to have sex with your wife/girlfriend while she is sleeping...

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Collage, Jonathan Vico. 2015

No era pecado besar sin conocernos.  

Zahara - Inmaculada Decepción. 

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‘Used and abused’

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