noandnooneelse

[noandnooneelse]

speaking of realm of the elderlings, i've been casually re-listening to the audiobook for Fool's Errand and I keep thinking of one change that would make the whole series soooo much funnier. what if the fool was ethically opposed to hereditary monarchies.

(actively working to preserve the Farseer line) "morally i don't agree with this but damn if all my prophecies don't keep saying this is the only way to save the world" :\ :\ :\ :\

[noandnooneelse]

Was talking to a coworker today who explained that her grandfather was like Snow White “but Californian. And an old man.” in that the creatures of the forest would follow him around and presumably duet with him.

“When he died the ravens sat in the trees outside for a week, watching. Taking turns. A horde of raccoons tried to break into the house every night, tearing at the siding. Eventually they gave up, but it was unsettling.”

“Aww. They were checking on him!” I said, like a normal person. Internally, I thought “Maybe you could do the thing you do with dead pets, where you show them to the living pets so the living pet understands they’re gone. But I guess if you did that to a bunch of scavenging species, they’d be like “Well, that’s very sad but he IS food now.” So what you’d need, for human sensibilities, is some sort of transparent corpse barrier. Like a see-through coffin oh that’s what the dwarves were doing! You’ve stopped paying attention to this conversation about the loss of a beloved family member you gotta phase back in.”

[noandnooneelse]

Easy entertainment

[noandnooneelse]

18th century tumblr user

[noandnooneelse]

Stole this from twitter. Gotta love horses remembering their old jobs (in this case, racing)! They're playing the call to the gate tune!

[noandnooneelse]

AUDIO POR DIOSSSSSS!!!!

[noandnooneelse]

⭐mutual1

i love The Character........ have you guys ever heard of The character

🐅mutual2

I HATE THE CHARACTER SO MUCH #KILLINGTHECHARACTER

[noandnooneelse]

When I think of the teeny tiny little concessions James McGraw made towards looking like a pirate it always makes me laugh its so deeply charming. Like alright I'll get the daintiest little moon tattoo and the tiniest little earring but that is it like this guy is really so used to being straightedge I adore him.

[noandnooneelse]

“’Black Sails’ reimagines representation in period dramas by making it integral to the show itself.

Flint’s internal struggle is not figuring out or discovering his sexuality – rather Flint’s character arc exists entirely because of his sexuality. His sexuality is not a prop meant to bolster another more important character or storyline. James Flint would quite simply not exist if he had not fallen in love with another man. Indeed, few plots on the show would exist if not for the fact that various women fell in love with women and men with men.

The driving narrative of this show is the battle for Nassau, a battle waged because of Flint’s love for another man and because this love was taken from him. 

Flint is seen as a monster by England — he is a vicious pirate, guilty of innumerable crimes. He was a monster to them before he did any of that, though — he is told his relationship with Thomas is too loathsome and profane to be forgiven, and he is cast out because of it. The trope of the predatory homosexual is deeply rooted in our society. Homoerotic undertones in supernatural fiction have long cast gay people as monsters. 

“Black Sails” takes this trope and attacks it. The show insists, rightfully so, that LGBTQ+ people have always existed, but it does not sugarcoat that existence. “They hang men for this,” Mrs. Hamilton tells Flint hours before their worlds all come crashing down, and she is right. Regardless of whether he’s a pirate or a respectable lieutenant, Flint will always be a monster to England, because of his sexuality.

In the third season, our crew is stranded on an island housing a matriarchal colony of marooned and escaped slaves. These people have formed a society entirely in secret. They exist outside the grasp of England’s fist because the crown does not know they exist.  “Black Sails” is about people who have been cast out of society, it is about “monsters.” They are gay, women, marooned and escaped slaves. They don’t exist within civilization because civilization cannot allow them to exist. Their very presence challenges the entire façade, because civilization only survives if people cannot imagine it any other way.

In one of the most powerful scenes of the four-season show, Flint acknowledges this construct: “They paint the world full of shadows, and then tell their children to stay close to the light. Their light. Their reasons, their judgments. Because in the darkness, there be dragons. But it isn’t true. We can prove that it isn’t true. In the dark, there is discovery, there is possibility, there is freedom in the dark once someone has illuminated it.” The significance of an explicitly gay character making this declaration cannot be overstated.

For a shining moment, the show allows you to imagine a world in which this coalition of outcasts won. An alternate reality in which the New World was wrenched from England’s hands by an alliance of gay and black men and women. Of course, we know they did not win. Homophobia would become the law of the land in the New World, same as the Old. Slavery would flourish, and the world as we know it today would be built on the backs of enslaved peoples.

So what, then, is the point of “Black Sails”? It is just a story, with very little basis in history. Why imagine a world that could have been when we have to live in the one we have? Thinking of his happiness with his male love, author E.M. Forster once wrote “I see beyond my own happiness and intimacy, occasional glimpses of the happiness of thousands of others whose names I shall never hear, and I know that there is a great unrecorded history.”

“Black Sails” is imagining one of those thousands of unrecorded histories.

The show is an examination of the stories we create of, for and about ourselves. It is about how our narratives are wrested from us and twisted, and it is about how we fight to reclaim those narratives for ourselves. It is the lies we construct and the lies we are told, and the eternal struggle to maintain some truth in the midst of both.

The series closes with a character insisting that, “A story is true. A story is untrue. As time extends, it matters less and less. The stories we want to believe. … Those are the ones that survive, despite upheaval and transition, and progress. Those are the stories that shape history.”

We know from the beginning of the show that Flint’s war against England and civilization itself will not succeed. England’s power eventually waned, yes, but not before piracy was crushed and slavery was firmly entrenched. Homosexuality was still a criminal offense in my lifetime. Despite all of this, “Black Sails” is the power of stories we create in opposition to the stories civilization is built on. As long as we can tell those stories, we exist.

As long as we exist, we triumph.”

-Danielle Hilborn

[noandnooneelse]

I can’t wait to see the growth in this upcoming season. I want to see Louis standing up for himself. I want to see Lestat taking accountability, acting like a cunt again, then learning from his mistakes. I don’t want my vampires to be good people. I want them to be good to eachother. I want them to learn. I want them to fail.

THE REASON I LIKE THE SHOW IS BECAUSE THEYRE TERRIBLE!! LET LOUIS GO ON A MURDER SPREE!!!! LET LESTAT BE ANNOYING!! LET DANIEL BE SO SO MEAN TO EVERYONE ALL OF THE TIME!!! LET ARMAND BE A MANIPULATIVE LITTLE SHIT!!!!!

also Claudia has never done anything wrong ever I don’t care if she was a freaky serial killer let girls have fun

[noandnooneelse]

📼 And That's the End of It. There's Nothing Else Interview with the Vampire: Season 2, Episode 8

[noandnooneelse]

FARSEER TRILOGY ABRIDGED MASTERPOST

My friend Razz wants to understand my shitposting about Robin Hobb’s Farseer Trilogy, but they don’t want to actually have to read the books, so I’m summarizing it for them (and you)! ASSASSIN’S APPRENTICE ABRIDGED Cast of Characters Part One Part Two Part Three Part Four ROYAL ASSASSIN ABRIDGED Cast of Characters Part One Part Two DISCLAIMER: ‘Farseer Trilogy Abridged’ is a transformative work and a parody and is protected under Fair Use :) Other Links Razz, the person for whom I started this series, is a blind artist (and one of the absolute coolest people you’ll ever meet)! Check out their art blog! They actually read a LOT of books, but found some of Hobb’s work to be too sad for them. Jaydee is a perpetually exhausted shitposter and author of various nonsense. Find their fanfic and some original work here on AO3, and if their antics brightened your day, consider stuffing a dollar into their g-string through their Ko-Fi!

[noandnooneelse]

i will say the funniest thing i’ve ever fucking seen on a tv soap is when my mum was watching holby city (british medical drama) many many years ago and there was this one really arrogant anaesthetist and he was bragging about something or other while holding a charged defibrillator pad in each hand and triumphantly clapped them together and just straight up electrocuted himself and fucking died. it was supposed to be like a serious scene but nothing i’ve ever watched since has surpassed that level of comedy

[noandnooneelse]

"How did the person who wrote that text know about the birthmark prophecy before Nile was even born?" < The writing is bad.

"Why didn't Discord and Tuah retrieve Quynh right away if they were there when she was locked in the iron maiden?" < The writing is bad.

"Why didn't The Guard dream about Discord? Why didn't Joe, Nicky, Booker and Nile dream about Tuah?" < The writing is bad.

"Why did Discord and Lykon lose their immortality if Nile didn't cut them?" < The writing is bad.

"Why did the stab wound Nile gave Andy in the first film heal right away, when the cut Nile gave Booker didn't?" < The writing is bad.

"Why didn't Tuah just tell Nile what Booker was trying to do?" < The writing is bad.

"Why didn't Discord just take Booker's immortality from him since he was willing? Why is she trying to take everyone's immortality as if she can have extra immortality somehow?" < The writing is bad.

"Why -"

Listen. The answer to every single question about this film's nonsensical plot is:

The. Writing. Is. BAD.

[noandnooneelse]

after seeing a great post by @abathroomwallfreshlypaintedover about why nicky and joe feel different in the old guard 2 i haven’t been able to stop thinking about it, especially as it relates to nicky (because he’s my favourite guy ever actually)

i’ve gone into detail (in this post) about how the contrast of nicky’s softness with his deadliness and insane skill is what makes him such a fucking incredible character, and after their post about how the sequel hardened nicky and joe’s edges a bit, leaning more into the traditional masculinity they (especially nicky) never really displayed in the first movie, it just stands out so starkly to me.

yes, queer men can be traditionally masculine! the issue is not that the movie shows queer men who like cars and act like bros and face danger while laughing. it’s that the first movie established that nicky and joe are not those queer men.

in the first movie nicky is consistently soft spoken, and the traits at the forefront of his portrayal are his kindness, compassion and gentleness. that is what the first movie felt most important in establishing who this man was. and while it isn’t an issue to see a sillier, louder side to him, that being the forefront of what we see of him in the sequel feels odd in comparison. the nicky in the first movie wouldn’t laugh at joe’s severed thumb without at least a moment of concern. the nicky and joe of the first movie wouldn’t give two shits about the car they drove (do you seriously think these grandpas are up to speed - pun intended - with all that?). and while I think the argument IS in character, the movie could’ve better emphasised the root of nicky’s upset being joe’s lie rather than booker’s betrayal, and show joe going to great lengths to make nicky see how sorry he is, just as he’d gone to great lengths to let the world know how he loved him. that extra layer of deep compassion and care that characterises everything about them last time felt stripped away.

on my second watch when it got to their little moment and nicky says ‘parla’ i realised that this was the moment it clicked that he felt different during the first half of the film. because i watched this moment and saw the smile he gave nile at the original family dinner. the smile he gave joe when he said meeting him was destiny. i watched nicky ask joe to talk to him and thought ‘there he is. that’s the nicky i knew.’ that’s what made me realise he was missing in the first place (well not missing, more like filtered)

nicolò di genova is not a typical action hero. he’s thoughtful and compassionate and he likes to cook and read. he isn’t hench or unemotional or an asshole. he’s kinda weird and awkward, he doesn’t fill silences or speak without reason and he stares at anything and everything with those big round eyes. he is not a masculine hero in a traditional sense, and this does not compromise his skill and awesomeness.

his softness is his strength. the fact that after so long he can still find the will to be gentle and loving is what makes him so special. that is a choice, that is something that defines him as a person. and while it was still there in pieces, the sequel shifted him more towards a traditional masculinity he has never been shown to align with.