there was no sound / there was only me and my disgrace
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WATERCOLOR CHARACTER MAKER sweet lil’ bean edition
TAGGED BY: nobody i did it for luke n i wanted to do it here too TAGGING: all of my mutuals
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now here is a gorl
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Bold any fears which apply to your muse. Italicize what makes them uncomfortable.
the dark • fire • open water • deep water • being alone • crowded spaces • confined spaces • change • failure • war • loss of control • powerlessness • prison • blood • drowning • suffocation • public speaking • natural animals • the supernatural • heights • death • dying • intimacy • rejection • abandonment • loss • the unknown • the future • not being good enough • scary stories • speaking to new people • poverty • loud noises • being touched • forgetting • being forgotten • hospitals
THE DARK; a little girl afraid of the dark / holds the blankets over her head and hands over her ears / wishing it all to go away. she feels so alone in it, vast void mocking her for her failures, her actions, how ugly her heart had been. it makes her meek and cowardly, huddled in a corner, praying to whatever that would listen to make it go away, make the light come again and the monsters stop whispering to her. it is in the deepest of darkness that light can shine brightest, her open flames, shadows becoming her friend and dancing alongside her, the company of smoke and laughter of the flickering blaze. it warms her and she doesn’t feel cold anymore. warmth / she seeks it always / out of reach. she reaches out, begging that her hand be held, she is always denied that comfort.
FAILURE; “it would seem that-- everywhere you go, you would go to any length to sully the vandimion name,” / “a father is supposed to love his child,” / “maybe that says more the fault of you, not of me,”. it hurts, pain sharper than any knife, stinging more than the whips she lashes out on herself. he could never love her, could never find any passing affection for her / she is a devil child / a mistake that should have been snuffed out long ago. constantly seeking validation, she cowers under disapproving eyes, and she only wishes to huddle again and cower and cry.
THE SUPERNATURAL / THE UNKNOWN; despite her many experiences with things that go bump in the night, it’s the endless possibilities of torment that could befall her if such a fate would be granted. endless torture to be used as a plaything, no bargaining for life, reprieve, begs fall on deaf ears. even the sturdiest and heartiest of men would falter under the things she had witnessed, her frail and open heart weeping.
ABANDONMENT; it happens all too quietly, a soft and passable burn in her chest, mistaken for something different entirely. give it time to fester and grow, let it become apparent and it burns fiercely. seeking out validation, attention, someone to care. the shadows, before, had only kept her company and offered friendship / danced with her / laughed with her / all the others far too fearful of the little tyrant. ignorant of a parents’ love / embrace / affection. any and all that she receives she fears will be torn away, and all she has left are her shadow friends, and the flames, fear that she will fall back to what she worked so hard to change
Tagged by: @bfmet & @erleidn i lov u both Tagging: @farnese-ojousama, @white-hawk, @b-erserk, aaaand whichever one of my mutuals who haven’t done this
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the be honest meme. aka things you lowkey want to talk about but don’t because you don’t know how to bring it up. send me a number and i’ll tell you the honest truth. either a simple yes or no answer or a detailed response.
What would prevent you from following someone?
Are aesthetics important to you? If they are, why?
What current rp trend do you hate?
How do you explain rp to someone in the real world?
Do you prefer interacting with male muses or female more? Why?
Do you prefer writing male muses or female more? Why?
What’s your opinion on call out posts?
Name any three things about the rpc that bother you.
What is your opinion on exclusivity? Do you practice it? Why / why not?
Have you ever had a bad experience with commissions? As either someone who makes them or as someone who buys them?
What do you know now about rp that you wish you knew when you first started?
Have you been involved in drama? Do you regret it?
Have you ever thought about leaving rp? What caused it? What changed your mind?
Do you think rp has had a positive or negative affect on your life or you as a person?
How has rp changed you personally?
If you could change one thing about rp on tumblr, what would it be? Why?
Have you ever sent a message to yourself on anon? Why?
Have you ever sent hate to yourself on anon? Why?
Do you delete anon hate or post and address it? Why?
Have you ever felt pressured to write something you weren’t comfortable with?
Have you ever followed someone because you felt like you had to, not because you wanted to?
What would make you block someone?
Have you ever stolen something from someone else?
Have you ever had something stolen from you? If so, how did you handle it?
Are you open to duplicates? Why / why not?
How do you feel about vague posting?
Do you follow people even if they don’t follow you back?
Do you read people’s rules before following or interacting?
What is your opinion on “reblog karma” and do you practice it?
How have you responded to popular slang used on tumblr? Do you use it in every day life? Do you use it at all?
Is there something you don’t know the meaning of but you haven’t asked anyone because you think it’s supposed to be general knowledge? Was there ever something you had to ask someone to explain?
Have you ever experienced discrimination?
How do you feel about personal blogs following your rp blog?
Have you ever cried while writing a reply?
Do you read other people’s threads or do you only read your own?
What’s one thing that other people seem to hate that doesn’t bother you?
How do you feel about tagging triggers? Do you tag them? How do you determine what is triggering content and what isn’t?
What advice would you give to someone new to rp?
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❛ you were making funny faces when you were sleeping. ❜ sjdhjd
DISHONORED SENTENCE STARTERS || ACCEPTING
THERE’S NOTHING BUT sheer terror strewn across her face, evident by the redness now painting her cheeks, until she’s fuming from her ears. Avert all eye contact is her plan for now, how embarrassing !! was this all to torment her ? Such a cruel fate, the world leaves no pity or kindness, and she shrinks into herself, trying to hide, trying to make herself smaller.
“ I-I-I was not..! ” on the immediate defense, words sputtering out of her mouth. Surely this was a joke, he was just trying to embarrass her, that had to be it. “ I-I don’t even remember if I had been dreaming, even.. ”
Farnese would sooner believe that she was only snoring, though it was safe to say she would have been just embarrassed. Hard to choose from the two, because either one makes her look like a fool, stuck between a rock and a hard place. How cruel ...
|| @liberons ||
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“Strange how there’s always a little more innocence left to lose.”
❛ … C’est la vie: such is life. ❜
HE IS NO STRANGER TO CRUELTY as the one who breaks it between his teeth. The Dragon: a harbinger of misery, a creature of doom. The seed of malice has taken root in the dead flesh of his rotted heart / a black shard embedded into your most tender ideals, assassin. MURDERED / MURDERER !! He is but a victim of his own ego, as most poor wretches are. Driven by ambition, unaware of his own delicate mortality, ignorant of his capacity for treachery. The desire for power – the incessant hunger for knowledge – once drove him to maddened extremes / yet now it merely repulses and disgusts. Unknowingly / unwillingly, he became the villain of his own tragic story: no divine or sinful influence drove him to embrace his sweet sister in that fateful, poisonous kiss. It was his own fault, his own foolhardy lack of restraint, and that single moment of weakness cost him everything he held dear. To partake of the cursed fruit, to douse one’s palette in sin / there is no greater shame, no redemption for the carnage he sowed on that dark, death-soaked pier. ( HOW DECEITFUL YOUR TONGUE / HOW DISILLUSIONED YOUR FALL FROM GRACE. )
❛ Man cannot sustain himself through evil alone, Lady Vandimion. ❜ It troubles him / he worries for her: to lose hope in oneself is to concede defeat in all things. He would not see her turn down the bleak path he has been cursed to walk for a thousand years. A strong faith is incorruptible. ❛ After all, it is only through sheer hatred that the worst Disasters of this world are born. I have found that pain is often a necessary influence in binding us to the real. Without it, we would be no different than any other wild beast, slaves to our most primordial desires … Do not estrange yourself from compassion. It is what makes you human. And to be human is to, above all else, love … and suffer for it. ❜
dishonored starters.
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© 〢 ✕ MAKE THE CHOICE ⸻—- you’ll least regret . .
indie snk roleplay blog . // penned by mar .
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' There’s always more to learn about pain. '
DISHONORED SENTENCE STARTERS || ACCEPTING
“ But it is something to learn, in the end, ”
ORGANIZING THE SHELVES, placing glass jars upon the wooden planes. She put herself in this position, it wasn’t any assistance he had asked for personally, or any hints of such want hadn’t been said. He had yet to kick her out of the office, nor had he showed any particular distaste whenever she began to set appliances and tools in order of size and use. Even when she labeled items that he probably knew by heart– all things that didn’t need doing.
Maybe it was a trick to ward off her own growing loneliness, another pair of ears to listen to her- not to say she was a bad listener. Farnese never had much to say about herself, nor was she comfortable confessing her prior misdeeds. Rather, more focused on the today; the weather, the rabble of the townsfolk, how he was doing, how his patients were doing.
Taking a footstool from the other side of the room, as she had shelves impossible to reach, she continued her cleaning, observing labels to put them in order. As she did so, she wondered what they were talking about previously, and what had brought the topic of such. Farnese hadn’t said much, only that she was a rather rowdy child, a half truth, a quick dismissal. Rubbing her hands free of dust, she turns to look at him.
“ I am sure we have both learned much of that, hm ? ”
|| @vanpyr ||
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' Our choices always matter to someone, somewhere. '
DISHONORED SENTENCE STARTERS || ACCEPTING
“ Certainly-- and they’ve all suffered for it, ”
SHE HADN’T MEANT to sound so drained, so cold. Taking back her words soon as she’d spoken, eyes dart away, staring forlorn at the palms of her hands and muttering a soft apology. Open, close, open, close-- her fingers clench and unclench, remembering that she existed, she was human. Even when she didn’t particularly want to be. There was honesty in the others’ statement, a truth that drove a knife in Farnese’s chest. Her hands, those that which once held torches, brought fires. Tiny fists that broke and burned the things that she found comfort in, it would never last-- that comfort, so it was better to snuff it out herself than to allow someone to do it for her.
And it was the fear as well, fresh in her memory and a vice around her neck. Shadows and fiendish imps whispering into her ears that there was little hope for her, all the trouble she had been, and the shame she caused. That her kinder nature was only a facade that would soon crack, her growth for naught. Farnese remembers the consequences her choices had, the effect, the terror, things that would seem unthinkable for a little girl to do. Though there was doubt that she’d have been any more loved had she been complacent.
It was something, more than nothing. She enticed feelings; instead of indifference, it was ire. Instead of no attention, it was negative. Something was better than nothing, the source of her misery was better to be herself than anyone else. She would be the fire itself, and not the match.
Farnese sighs, straightening her posture while picking at the skin around her fingers.
“ I only wish my choices had been different, ”
|| @erleidn ||
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You, more familiar with pain than most, could come to be kinder than anyone else.
template cred: x
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iribells:
┏┓ ┃┃╱╲ In this ┃╱╱╲╲ house ╱╱╭╮╲╲ we love ▔▏┗┛▕▔ & appreciate ╱▔▔▔▔▔▔▔▔▔▔╲ treating characters as the multi-faceted works they are and not taking a single trait or running gag and conflating it to be their entire personality ╱╱┏┳┓╭╮┏┳┓ ╲╲ ▔▏┗┻┛┃┃┗┻┛▕▔
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→ ❝DISHONORED sentence starters❞
“We all start with innocence, but the world leads us to guilt.”
“The world doesn’t punish wicked people.”
“Do you think you’ll get your own squad after what happened last night?”
“When you are near, my heart is at peace.”
“She had to die!”
“You’re a mystery, and I can’t have that.”
“Our choices always matter to someone, somewhere.”
“I do believe this is going to be a fabulous evening.”
“Careful, he’s armed.”
“I was born into nothing, and it’s nothing I’ll return to.”
“Going to a party?”
“Coming from a party?”
“There’s always more to learn about pain.”
“I hope you don’t mind having a lady in your room.”
“You were making funny faces when you were sleeping.”
“May all the spirits guide you, and may your enemy’s head hit the floor without you taking a scratch.”
“Are you hoping to stab me in the back?”
“I don’t know about you, but I’ve had a lovely time.”
“I’ve killed a hundred of your kind, and I’ll kill a thousand more before I’m gone.”
“I’ve lived a long, long time, and these are the moments I wait for.”
“You fascinate me.”
“Are all artists narcissists?”
“Strange how there’s always a little more innocence left to lose.”
“I’m just a little fish in a big pond.”
“Are you chasing something, or running away?”
“You move so silently. You could be a dancer.”
“I have no regrets. What about you?”
“What happens to scary monsters in the end?”
“I treat every sunset as if it’s our last.”
“When the music stops, we all fall down.”
“It’s that moment just before the light goes that matters most of all.”
“I’m enjoying our renewed friendship.”
“You have no right to take this from me!”
“Your life has taken a turn, has it not?”
“All things end, all things burn to ash. But you, my friend, burn bright.”
“There’s blood on all the coins that pass through here.”
“My mother warned me never to make an enemy of a witch.”
“My life is yours. Kill me or let me live, if it even matters to you.”
“I expect a good show.”
“Let’s go home.”
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farny’s the cutest bean to ship with until you realize she’s kinky as fuck
#nsfw implied//#she would never admit it but you can tell#⚜ ❛ DISGRACED 「 ooc. 」#nothing prompted this i just wanted everyone to know
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"They don’t have the guts to admit their crimes and face justice."
A RISING MAN PROMPTS | ACCEPTING
NAILS PRESSING DEEP into her palm, down her arms. She remembers giving chase until her legs were threatening to collapse, and her stomach was tight with stabbing cramps that made her unable to move forward and instead hunch to pant and wheeze. Eren had told her how stupid she was, asking what she was trying to prove. Farnese wondered the same thing. Heroism, in this world, would only lead to dire consequences, it was something to be learned. The world was not kind to people like her, nor to the likes of him. The good guys didn’t always win-- in fact, they rarely did, or Farnese had seen zero proof of such.
Absentmindedly, she continued to scratch, eyes laid on the stone floor, her failure glossed over her eyes, and embarrassment pricked her ears. The moment of adrenaline she once retained swiftly passed away. Stupid, or brave, one in the same. She realizes now, that she could have been shot, or beaten, but they just ran, seemingly assessing her as an unworthy opponent. Eren offered her water and she took it, only to place it down beside her.
“ We could ... still catch them ... ” foolish, dumb girl. “ Can’t we ? ”
|| @todsengel ||
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You, more familiar with pain than most, could come to be kinder than anyone else.
template cred: x
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( desperatous . )
❝ hmmm, ❞ she crouches, sinks to the floor and extends pallid fingers toward the cracked pitcher. index loops around the wide handle, lips rise in the corners of her mouth and she shrugs noncommittally. digits curl around the smooth clay stem, pressing it into her palm as she rises and offers the other a benign look. ❝ these things are probably a dime a dozen, i’ll see if there’s another in the pantry. ❞
A HAND TO her mouth and brows downturn with guilt, she felt so utterly clumsy, and that any faith in her to properly care for something was diminished. “ I still feel bad ... ” Eyes fixated upon the cracks, “ I could ... pay for it, if you’d like, ”
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