nocrystal - Tumblr blog

[nocrystal]

i wish there was a tumblr equivalent of a twitter priv. tumblr is bad for talking anyway. i am nothing without my constant rambles about nothing important

[nocrystal]

this is my all time favourite post I've ever seen on reddit everyone read it please

[nocrystal]

things that are not sex but secretly are sex:

car crashes

surgery

playing pool or poker

smashing a coke can

biting/scratching

cpr & using a defibrillator

untangling wires & cords

feel free to add more! <3

[nocrystal]

one fun thing about being a teacher in march 2023 is that chess is a literal epidemic among teens. we are starting to have meetings about how we can STOP teenagers from playing too much chess which is like if we were trying to figure out how to stop them from reading for fun. When i was in high school five years ago chess was nerd shit only but now it is transcending every social and language barrier and is absolutely rampant. kids aren’t on their phone texting in class anymore it’s ONLY chess.com. kids are playing chess on their phones while playing chess in real life. this is still better than tiktok because at least the kids are developing an attention span from this

[nocrystal]

has this been done yet

[nocrystal]

a small compilation

[nocrystal]

Oldschool Bern

[nocrystal]

slut era

[nocrystal]

I think they should make a fighting game where all of the characters are from the public domain

[nocrystal]

wikipedia is a gem

[nocrystal]

Kingin respects boymode transfem peter parker's gender identity

[nocrystal]

[nocrystal]

FedEx: shits on my box, stomps on my box, kicks it, dumps gasoline on it, throws one of my chickens into the back of the van UPS: whispers at my front door “is anyone home” as quietly as possible before leaving a “we missed you!” note, tries to gaslight me into thinking my address doesn’t exist USPS: sets my package down gently where it’s not visible from the road, knocks on the door and kisses me directly on the mouth

[nocrystal]

"Jumpy, have you ever heard the name, [Goncharov]?"

-Goncharov... Can't say it rings a bell. Is that some sort of scientist?

"It's a movie, actually. About the Italian mob. Goncharov is the eponymous protagonist."

-Hang on a second, Italian? I thought Goncharov was a Russian name.

"Well, yes. But the movie takes place in Italy. That's not important right now. What's strange about this movie is, although it was supposedly released in 1973, it only gained attention in 2022."

-Almost five decades later... marketing really flubbed that one, huh?

"That's not it. The movie doesn't exist."

-Wait, what? What do you mean it doesn't exist?

"It never did. There was never a movie called Goncharov. Only one day in 2022 the internet started talking about it as if it was real. As if everyone had already seen it."

-That... that has to be a prank, right? I mean it wouldn't be the first time the internet took a liking to spreading lies, would it?

"That's true. Especially on tumblr, where the phenomenon originated. But what if there's more to it? What if the knowledge of that movie was "plucked" from some alternative timeline where the movie was critically acclaimed, and "transmitted" to our timeline through fields invisible to the naked eye?"

-C'mon. That's insane. Isn't it way more likely that tumblr was, y'know, being tumblr?

"Maybe. But isn't it strange that the name of the movie, its director, its cast of characters, the actors playing them, and the year of its release was unanimously agreed upon by one of the most inconsistent and chaotic blogging websites out there?"

-Th... that's...

"I'm not done yet. Not only that, but the events of story, the relationships between the characters, interviews with the cast, audio recordings of the movie score, fandom discourse, and multiple gifsets of the movie footage started appearing on everyone's dashboards. And none of the information contradicted each other."

-!

-(Could that really be? A movie that was transmitted to the public consciousness from another timeline...?)

[nocrystal]

♡ Golden Land♡

[nocrystal]

i alway s wanted to fuck him

[nocrystal]

This disclaimer pops up whenever I start talking