noiamnotwhoiwas - Tumblr blog

[noiamnotwhoiwas]

what else could have i done for you

[noiamnotwhoiwas]

Dear You,

When will i be allowed to get over you? When will i accept you left

Why you left? Im still trying to figure out

I'm trying hard to find the words to say, my head is so full of you, it doesnt have the capacity to use words

But you left and i see how happy you are now, and how miserable i am without you

They tell me it was for the best but i still fight with the thought of the happiness we shared

if everything was alright then why would you leave? If i was enough for you, why was it so easy for you to leave me behind, to forget about me and not even remembering my name

I still see you in everything i do, i still cry for you

its been 3 months, shouldnt i be happy now? Shouldnt i go on and be happy with my life? Why are you still haunting me?

I cant even escape reality to sleep because even there...even in my dreams you are there

so again, everybody moves on but im here sitting in the courner i haunt

[noiamnotwhoiwas]

Dear you,

I keep dreaming about you every night, i go to sleep hoping to see you again

but every time i wake up it hurts a bit more

for so many days i prayed i would forget you but you keep tormenting me, i cant even have a day without thinking of you

[noiamnotwhoiwas]

no im not coming to my senses

[noiamnotwhoiwas]

I know why we had to say goodbye like the back of my hand But I just miss you and I just wish you were a better man

[noiamnotwhoiwas]

I wish it wasn't 4AM, standin’ in the mirror Saying to myself, "You know you had to do it" I know the bravest thing I ever did was run

[noiamnotwhoiwas]

I know I'm probably better off on my own Than lovin’ a man who didn't know what he had when he had it

[noiamnotwhoiwas]

"Do something, babe, say something" (Say something) "Lose something, babe, risk something" (You're losin' me) "Choose something, babe, I got nothing" (I got nothing) "To believe, unless you're choosin' me"

[noiamnotwhoiwas]

Dear you,

I didnt think i would ever write to you again

But today, today i dreamt of you, you had someone new

You looked me in the eyes and there was no sparkle anymore, there was no emotion at all

and there i was just standing heartbroken

today my dreams shattered again, i hoped this wouldnt happen again...but it did

i tried again, i worked so hard to make my dream come true but it didnt go well

i failed...once again i failed and i cant stop wondering where i went wrong

why cant i be smart enough for the exam?

I studied i did all i could but i wasnt enough

and why wasnt i enough for you?

its been three months since you left and every day you still cross my mind and i wonder...why couldnt you chose me?

im trying so hard

for me and for everyone else, but i just cant anymore its way too hard

nothing has been going well for me and im trying and trying to be grateful and show myself strong but like that one song says "im getting tired even for a phoenix"

i know im not that great or even big, im the smallest girl but i cant help but hurt

and here i am without anything else

you are gone, my dreams are gone

its all gone now and idk what to do anymore, how can i go on and pretend as if nothing happened?

so here i am...once again grieving for the life i dreamed of

[noiamnotwhoiwas]

Oh, what a valiant roar What a bland goodbye The coward claimed he was a lion I'm combing through the braids of lies "I'll never leave" ... "Never mind" Our field of dreams, engulfed in fire Your arson's match your somber eyes And I'll still see it until I die You're the loss of my life

[noiamnotwhoiwas]

Still alive, killing time at the cemetery Never quite buried

[noiamnotwhoiwas]

It hurts to be something It's worse to be nothing With you

[noiamnotwhoiwas]

Rain came pouring down When I was drowning, that's when I could finally breathe And by morning Gone was any trace of you, I think I am finally clean

[noiamnotwhoiwas]

You swore that you loved me but where were the clues? I died on the altar waiting for the proof

[noiamnotwhoiwas]

Every breath feels like rarest air When you're not sure if he wants to be there So how much sad did you think I had,

Did you think I had in me? How much tragedy? Just how low did you think I'd go? Before I'd self-implode Before I'd have to go be free

[noiamnotwhoiwas]

And you say I abandoned the ship But I was going down with it My white knuckle dying grip

[noiamnotwhoiwas]

How dare you say that it's o