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what a lonely, dreary thing it is to know the truth.

"Indeed." She swallowed hard, turning her gaze down to the floor. Pen was sure his words weren't meant to cut as deeply as they did, but they stung all the same. Her existence had become synonymous with lying, it seemed, but she'd never known the heavy burden of truth until now. Now that it was weighing down upon the people she loved, it felt like she had written a cheque she couldn't quite cash. "Lonely is the spider that weaves her own web."

Especially, she reasoned, when one's web was made of lies.

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Miss Penelope is GLOWING I can’t wait for the new season 😭

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(almost) every penelope featherington scenes (351/???)

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scenarios for that grump x sunshine dynamic

a prompt list by @novelbear ᵔᴥᵔ

letting their chatty partner ramble about their day, listening with a small smile

sunshine toppling over them with the biggest hug they could muster and grump just giving them tiny little pats to reciprocate

grumpy going out of their comfort zone to cheer up their sunshine who's having a bad day

^ "look, i made pancakes! i even made a smiley face out of the whipped cream, see?" "oh, that's what it's supposed to be? you're so cute.."

grumpy calling sunshine names (dummy, idiot, chatterbox) knowing they take no offense to them, but the moment someone else does, they snap

"are you always this happy?" "i try to be, but especially when i'm with you."

sunshine knowing when it's okay to push but never crosses a line when it comes to grumpy's boundaries

sunshine comforting the grump when they're a little more quiet and snappy than usual, leaving grump a flustered mess because they're used to people actually listening when they tell them to leave them alone

"i'm not leaving you like this, i care about you."

sunshine taking grumpy on more active dates than they're used to (like ice skating for example)

[while cloudgazing] "i see a duckling!" "literally how."

sunshine making lunch for grumpy in the cutest way possible (little notes, heart-shaped sandwiches, always adding their fave snack)

getting into arguments about how nice sunshine can be and where it gets out of hand

^ "i was just trying to be nice!" "they were clearly taking advantage of that!" "since when do you care so much?" "i'm trying to look out for you!"

grumpy letting sunshine play with/do their hair

when laundry piles up and grumpy has no choice but to borrow one of sunshine's colorful little sweaters

^ and of course, sunshine coos and smothers them all day over it

"i love you." "i know." "say it back!"

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"Must I disclose my every action to you before we're even married? Is a woman not allowed her own privacy?" Her brows pinched together as she tried her best to remain stoic. She was grasping for straws, trying to find the right way to make him cease questioning her. If he kept pressing, she would run out of excuses eventually. Pen didn't want to start their relationship off with a bucket of lies hanging above her head, but she didn't see any other way if he didn't leave it alone. Once they were married, she might find the courage to tell him about Whistledown, but for now and here of all places, she was determined to keep her secret.

"Presumptuous?" Pen let out a snort. "Yes, that would be my mother."

If she were careless enough, Penelope might be wise to use this outing as the perfect excuse. If she truly didn't want to marry a man she didn't know, lying to him about her personal affairs would be the easiest way out. And yet she couldn't bear lie to him about such things. Making her own money and spreading gossip was one thing, but lying about matters of the heart--or worse, the body-- was too far for her.

"It is not a man, I can swear that much. As for the rest of the details... Idly, Pen fidgeted with her hands, tearing at the cuticles as her mind raced for an explanation. Keeping her gaze averted, she silently willed her heart to remain calm. "It's... personal. Something I might be privy to share with a husband, but, as it stands, I'm not sure I can trust you with such personal matters yet." Finally, she rose her eyes to meet his, her lips pressed into a thin line to prevent them from trembling. "I do hope you are a man that can respect that."

"I may be an insipid wallflower, but I'm not entirely flavorless. I am capable of more than just reading, I'll have you know. I thought you would've known that already." Her tone is defensive with hints of accusation, and she momentarily forgets that she's supposed to be concerned about his wellbeing. He was well enough to ask questions and so Pen assumed he was well enough to handle her responses, as immature as they might be.

"I had business to do." She echoes his response, straightening her posture to appear as dignified as she possibly could. "My mother? No, of course not. As far as she's concerned, I'm your problem now."

She despised the way the words tasted on her tongue, sour and bitter. Pen didn't mean to be rude and she didn't want to appear ungrateful towards Thomas, but how else was she supposed to response to such inquiries? She was a woman, yes, but she was hardly fragile or incapable of handling herself. For simple things like this, at least. Her guise as a maid normally worked well enough for her to get in, get her money, and get out. This was the first time she'd ever encountered an obstacle like this.

Pen knew it wasn't right for her to be out here alone, but, in her mind, she wasn't entirely alone. Or at least, she hadn't been prior to the rainfall. Rae had always waited for her, her hand perched on the carriage door to ensure a quick departure. But with the storm brewing around them, Pen didn't know how far away her carriage had gone. She couldn't imagine they went back to Mayfair without her, but they were far enough away that she appeared alone.

At his question of meeting a man, Pen snorts and her hand rises to her mouth to cover it.

"What? N-No, don't be ridiculous." She shook her head, clearly amused by the thought. Who would want to meet with her? What man could she possibly be meeting? Though, technically, she had been here to meeting with the printer. But it wasn't anything like what she assumed he meant. She couldn't find a husband among the haughty men of the ton, so Pen didn't think she'd have much luck with the lower echelons, either. "I might remind you that I am engaged. I do have the decency of remaining loyal to my betrothed."

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"I'm not sure the world could handle such an alliance." She shuddered at the thought. The Featherington family did well enough creating scandals on their own, the last thing Portia needed was another accomplice in her affairs. "But a Tallmadge-Featherington union has worked out well enough for us, hasn't it? Perhaps a friendship between our parents wouldn't be wholly destructive."

The sound of the knock made Pen flinch, her eyes flying to Ben's face to monitor the shift in his expression. He was undoubtedly nervous, as was Penelope, but she was determined to be brave for his sake. No father would want his son to marry a meek and timid dormouse of a woman, so Pen was intent on showing her best self--whatever that meant.

"Take a deep breath," She cooed, raising her hands to straighten out his cravat. It was more of an instruction to both of them rather than a targeted command, but Pen met his gaze with a smile. As long as they were together, they could get through anything. And if he had already won the battle against the Featherington matriarch, then, surely, his confrontation with his father would be mere child's play. "Everything will be fine. We're in this together, remember? And if you need an escape, just give me a signal and I can fake an emergency, or something, alright?"

Benjamin laughed, his eyes crinkling warmly around the edges. "There's quite a bit of horror to be found in that one sentence, you realize... I'm not so sure I could handle a Tallmadge-Featherington alliance of that sort."

Despite his attempts at levity, he was sobered when Penelope framed his face between her gentle hands, his heart bleeding at the earnestness shining in her eyes. She was far too good to him; so kind, so pure, and he adored her for seeing what he, himself, could never see.

"You've truly been sent to me from above," he murmured, turning his head to kiss her palm. "Day after day, I awaken and wonder how I got so lucky..." Here, his lips quirked into a grin. "But don't let that go to your pride, of course."

Penelope's eyes sparkled. “Well, if he does end up seeming too upset, we can always slip away and get on the grandbaby business sooner.”

Benjamin chuckled, nudging his forehead into hers. "You know, you're quite cruel to tease me when I already have half a mind to leave this place..."

The assurance that her family would be heading to the modiste was a slight comfort, because he wasn't so sure he could handle both introductions and reuniting with his father at once. Nathaniel was a stern, but fair man, and it was anyone's guess as to how he'd react towards the flighty Featheringtons -- Penelope excluded, of course.

Penelope appraised him sagely. "What's going on in that head of yours?"

"Not much, from the sound of things," Benjamin quipped. "I suppose I'm trying to best figure out how to transition my rigid father with your...well...not-so-rigid family."

As if on cue, the sound of a spirited knock cut across the halls, and he jerked upright, looking to Penelope in a panic. "That must be him..."

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2024 is almost over!

With the final month of the year here, it’s your chance to send the mun or muse something you’ve wanted to tell them! Whether you haven’t had the chance to or you’ve been too shy, now’s the time to say what you feel, and don’t hold back!

prompt originally made by: x

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reblog and state in the tags how you came up with your username

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One of the few good things about being a wallflower, she surmised, was that it was easier to see the whole picture. It would be harder to admire and appreciate the beauty of everything if she were too caught up in the middle of it all. Or at least that's what she told herself. From the sidelines, she could see everything. The musicians in their element, the beautiful dancers, the twinkling lights. From the outskirts of the moment, she could see all the moving pieces that made the scene perfect. But that didn't mean she didn't dream of being a part of the beauty every once in a while.

It took her a moment to respond, to realize that his question was posed to her. She was content with the idle chit-chat, two people admiring the scenery before them. If anything, she was more surprised that he hadn't avoided her at all costs, as it seemed most people of respectable standing tended to do. Being caught standing next to Penelope Featherington was a sure way to ruin one's reputation. And to dance with her? That would be social suicide, surely.

"Me?" She blinked, her gaze flicking from his hand to his eyes. "You're not afraid of being seen dancing with me?"

𝖊𝖗𝖎𝖐  𝖙𝖎𝖑𝖙𝖊𝖉  𝖍𝖎𝖘  𝖍𝖊𝖆𝖉,  studying  her  with  a  mixture  of  curiosity  and  wonder.  there  was  no  pretense  in  her,  no  gaudy  display  to  vie  for  attention  like  the  others  flitting  about  the  ballroom  like  moths  to  the  flames  of  vanity.  he  followed  her  gaze  to  the  ballroom,  to  the  laughter,  the  splendor,  the  unspoken  promises  hanging  in  the  air  like  the  fragile  glitter  of  lights  above  them.

❝  the  more  one  is  surrounded  by  beauty,  the  less  they  truly  see.  ❞  he  allowed  a  faint  smile  to  touch  his  lips  beneath  the  mask,  though  it  was  tinged  with  melancholy.  ❝  it’s  rare  to  find  someone  who  still  notices.  ❞

for  a  moment,  silence  fell  between  them,  not  awkward  but  weighty,  charged  with  an  unspoken  understanding.  the  music  swelled  again,  and  erik,  emboldened  by  the  strange  magic  of  the  evening,  extended  a  hand  toward  her.  ❝  would  you  do  me  the  honor  of  a  dance?  ❞

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"Him and my mother will get along well, I can feel it." Whether or not such an outcome was beneficial for the newlyweds was yet to be seen, but, if it kept her mother preoccupied, Pen would be grateful. She understood Ben's concerns and she wished there was a way to make his worries melt away. She wished there was a magic word to clear his conscious, but only time would tell how the cards would fall. And, until then, Pen would make sure things went as perfectly as possible.

“Ben,” As her brows pinched together, Pen reached up and rested her hands on his cheeks. "It was your time of need, too. You did what you needed to to survive. He cannot possibly blame you for that." And if he did, she thought to herself, then Nathaniel would be receiving a piece of his daughter-in-law's mind fresh off the boat.

"And I would be sentenced to a similar fate on the wall, condemned to an eternity being tormented by Cressida Cowper." She shuddered at the thought. Benjamin had certainly saved her from more than just loneliness, he'd saved her a lifetime of spinsterhood and being on the receiving end of Cressida's cruelty. But, more than anything, he had saved her from withering away into dust.

“Well, if he does end up seeming too upset, we can always slip away and get on the grandbaby business sooner.” She teased, hoping the joke would be enough to make him smile. There was a possibility she was already with child, but she refused to let that stop her from enjoying all the perks of marriage.

“They're supposed to be going to the modiste to look at fabric samples soon." She shook her head, the hint of a smirk playing at the corner of her lips. "Even if we offered our aid, you know Mama would be unlikely to accept it. She thrives on this sort of thing. Planning events is her bread and butter. It’s one of the only good things about having all daughters.” Tilting her head to the side, Pen regarded with him an amused expression. "Why? What's going on in that head of yours?"

“If he’s boarded a ship to come all this way, then surely he isn’t irrevocably upset with you, Ben.”

Penelope's words traveled over to him as he paced, acting as a soothing balm despite his nettled tread. Benjamin halted in his tracks, exhaling as he turned to face her. "That's the hope," he glumly agreed, "but there's always the chance he's merely sailing over here to chastise me. I love my father -- I do -- but he can be very stern."

Growing up, he'd always tried so badly to be everything Nathaniel wished for in a son and more, and yet in the end, it seemed he'd done nothing but fail his father in every possible way.

Penelope rose from the settee and approached, her hands folded in front of her. “You cannot blame yourself for running away," she admonished. "And he cannot blame you for it, either. Everyone grieves in their own way.”

"Yes, but..." Sighing, Benjamin raked a hand through his hair. "It was still wrong of me. I didn't have to run to an entirely different bloody country...I could've at least been there, rather than abandon my father in his time of need." With a sorrowful laugh, he concluded, "After all his preaching throughout the years, evidently I didn't listen well enough."

A purpose... Yes, Penelope was right. Everything happened for a reason, including one's asinine mistakes.

"You truly are an intellect," Benjamin said, beaming as he took her hands. "God only knows where I'd be without you..." Scrunching his nose, he decided, "Probably condemned to an eternity standing alongside the refreshments table, rejecting Mrs. Havenshire's entreaty for a dance. But let's not dwell on such horrors."

Fondly, Penelope looped her arms around his neck, nudging their foreheads together. “Whatever happened, it’s in the past. Whatever happens now, we face together. And, if he’s anything like my Mama, he’ll forget all about his grievances once we place a grandbaby in his arms.”

Benjamin chuckled, humming in agreement. "Well, perhaps you know my father after all," he teased. "In fact, I often joke that the true reason I fled home was to escape all the pleas for grandchildren. Speaking of which..." He squeezed her close. "Are your mother and sisters still in the other room? I suppose we can help them, but the last time I made the mistake of offering my aid, I had to help determine which flowers best matched the sitting room walls."

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“Yes, he does.” She agrees, her hands still fiddling with the pin as she tries to affix it to Astraia’s hair. “But, that doesn’t mean you can’t still surprise him with your beauty."

To Pen, if she was as pretty as Astraia, she'd never stop flaunting it. She'd wear the newest fashions and make as many statements as she possibly could. But Penelope was destined to be a wallflower, her beauty muted by the flora and greenery surrounding her. Her friend, however, wasn't such a forgettable face, and Pen wanted Astraia to be more than just the belle of the ball, she wanted to feel like it.

“I wouldn’t be so sure about that.” Pen had made certain that the male in question was kept away from as many ladies as possible. Any female that Pen saw her friend’s interest engage in conversation with had a less-than-sparkling review of their person in the next column of Whistledown. They were never false rumors, per se, but they were exaggerated enough to earn the proper effect. No one would get in the way of her friend’s happiness, not as long as Pen had a say in the matter.

“As you said, it’s been weeks, which is why it is even more important to make an entrance. Once he sees you tonight, he won’t be able to take his eyes off you. No one will.”

@nomdepen : ❝ I'm trying to fix your hair , so hold still . ❞ ✧.*

        ❝ pen , the man knows what I look like . I doubt he would change his opinion of me if my hair was askew . ❞ despite her ired mockery of the fuss of her dear friend preparing her for the night's ball , she couldn't suppress the wide , bright smile that reflected back in the mirror she sat in front of . it was a rare and treasured occasion when she could attend the societal events demanded of her . but , as she thought of the man she had danced with a single time at the last ball she had attended before her health rendered her unfit for societal viewing , her expression faltered for the briefest moment , spoiling the supposed perfection she saw in the mirror . ❝ besides , it's been weeks since I was last in attendance at a ball , he has probably been vying for the attention of another woman by now . ❞

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✿‧̥ the way you portray your muse is amazing. don't discredit all the love you pour into your blog. from your threads , headcanons , and other posts. no matter if they're an oc or a canon , the rpc is so lucky to have you as part of it. thank you for being here and making this space a better place ! thank you for sharing your portrayal with us ! never let anyone take away the joy you have in writing your character , because you being in this space does matter.

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✦   𝐈𝐓 𝐈𝐒 𝐀 𝐓𝐑𝐔𝐓𝐇 𝐔𝐍𝐈𝐕𝐄𝐑𝐒𝐀𝐋𝐋𝐘 𝐀𝐂𝐊𝐍𝐎𝐖𝐋𝐄𝐃𝐆𝐄𝐃.

dialogue prompts taken from or inspired by the movie  PRIDE AND PREJUDICE (2005).   please feel free to change the sentences for pronouns and context as you see fit!

‘ do you not want to know who has taken it? ’ 

‘ I doubt I have any choice in the matter. ’

‘ have you no compassion for my poor nerves? ’

‘ so will you come to the ball tomorrow? ’

‘ if every person in this room does not end the evening completely in love with you then I am no judge of beauty. ’

‘ they are not all bad. ’ 

‘ one of these days, someone will catch your eye and then you’ll have to watch your tongue. ’

‘ do you dance? ’

‘ so what do you recommend, to encourage affection? ’

‘ only the deepest love will persuade me into matrimony. ’

‘ you’re a great deal too apt to like people in general, you know. ’

‘ I still cannot believe what he said about you. ’

‘ I doubt we shall ever speak again. ’

‘ oh,  please! it’s ten in the morning. ’

‘ do not be alarmed. excepting a sore throat, a fever, and a headache there is nothing much wrong with me. ’

‘ good lord, did you walk here? ’

‘ it’s all going according to plan. ’

‘ I never saw such a woman, she would certainly be a fearsome thing to behold. ’

‘ would you consider pride a fault or a virtue? ’

‘ my good opinion, once lost, is lost forever. ’

‘ I don’t know how to thank you. ’

‘ he can turn us out of the house as soon as he pleases. ’

‘ how happy for you, to possess the talent for flattering with such delicacy. ’

‘ shall we all look for some ribbon together? ’

‘ how do you like my ribbons for your ball? ’

‘ you may well be surprised, especially given our cold greeting this afternoon. ’

‘ oh no, it is not for me to be driven away. ’

‘ if you wish to avoid seeing me, you must go, not I. ’

‘ I hope never to encounter him. ’

‘ may I have the next dance? ’

‘ it would be most inconvenient since I have sworn to loathe you for all eternity. ’

‘ please advise me of what you would like most to hear. ’

‘ do you talk as a rule while dancing? ’

‘ I prefer to be unsociable and taciturn. ’ 

‘ why do you ask such a question? ’

‘ and what have you discovered? ’

‘ I hear such different accounts of you as puzzle me exceedingly. ’

‘ I hope to afford you more clarity in the future. ’

‘ what interesting relatives you have. ’

‘ almost as soon as I entered the house I singled you out as the companion of my future life. ’

‘ and now nothing remains for me but to assure you in the most animated language of the violence of my affections. ’

‘ you are too hasty!  you forget that I have made no answer. ’

‘ you could not make happy and I’m convinced I’m the last person in the world who could make you happy. ’

‘ go back now and say you’ve changed your mind! ’

‘ there’s no earthly reason why I shouldn’t be as happy with him as any other. ’

‘ not all of us can afford to be romantic. ’

‘ I’ve been offered a comfortable home and protection, there’s a lot to be thankful for. ’

‘ I’m plain and I have no money and no prospects. ’

‘ do not make yourself uneasy, about your apparel. ’

‘ your mother must have been quite a slave to your education. ’

‘ upon my word, you give your opinion very decidedly for so young a person. ’

‘ no excellence can be acquired without constant practice. ’

‘ you would be in nobody’s way, you know, in that part of the house. ’

‘ I am well enough acquainted with you, to know I cannot alarm you even should I wish it. ’

‘ I do not have the talent of conversing easily with people I have never met before. ’

‘ I came to  ___  with the single object of seeing you. l had to see you. ’

‘ I love you. Most ardently. ’

‘ I appreciate the struggle you have been through, and I am very sorry to have caused you pain. ’

‘ I’m sure that the feelings which, as you’ve told me, have hindered your regard, will help you in overcoming it. ’

‘ might I ask why, with so little endeavour at civility, I am thus repulsed? ’

‘ I suppose you suspect that his fortune had same bearing on the matter? ’

‘ what excuse can you give for your behaviour to him? ’

‘ you take an eager interest in that gentleman’s concerns! ’

‘ oh yes, your misfortunes have been very great indeed! ’

‘ you have ruined his chances, and yet treat him with sarcasm? ’

‘ so this is your opinion of me! thank you for explaining so fully. ’

‘ and those are the words of a gentleman? ’

‘ from the first moment I met you, your arrogance and conceit, your selfish disdain of the feelings of others, made me realize that you were the last person in the world I could ever be prevailed upon to marry. ’

‘ I shall not renew the sentiments which were so disgusting to you. ’

‘ what are men, compared to rocks and mountains? ’

‘ believe me, men are either eaten up with arrogance or stupidity, and if they are amiable they’re so easily led that they have no minds of their own whatsoever. ’

‘ take care, my love, that savors strongly of bitterness. ’

‘ I’m so sorry to intrude. they said the house was open for visitors. I had no idea… ’

‘ there is something pleasing about his mouth, when he speaks. ’

‘ you don’t mind delaying our journey for another day? ’

‘ but I know very well that nothing can be done. we have not the smallest hope. ’

‘ would I could help you. ’

‘ sir, I think it is too late. ’

‘ this is grave indeed. I will leave you. ’ 

‘ I forgot! I shouldn’t have said a word! ’

‘ I’m just glad that you come alone, because then I shall see less of you. ’

‘ not that I’m afraid of myself, but I dread other people’s remarks. ’

‘ oh my goodness! everybody behave naturally. ’

‘ whatever you do, do not appear overbearing. ’

‘ stop that racket and sit down! find yourself some work! ’

‘ oh lord. I shall have a seizure, I’m sure I shall. ’

‘ I return to town tomorrow. ’

‘ so soon? ’

‘ for when you were in town last winter you promised to take a family dinner with us. I have not forgot you see. at least three courses. ’

‘ well, I’m glad that’s over. ’

‘ we can now meet as indifferent acquaintances. ’

‘ you cannot think me so weak as to be in danger now. ’

‘ I think you are in great danger of making him as much in love with you as ever. ’

‘ I know this is all very untoward, but I would like to request the privilege of speaking with you. ’

‘ first, I have to tell you that I have been an unmitigated and comprehensive ass. ’

‘ thank the lord for that! I thought it would never happen. ’

‘ I knew she could not be so beautiful for nothing. ’

‘ can you die of happiness? ’

‘ bravo! that is the most unforgiving speech you’ve ever made. ’

‘ you can be at no loss to understand why I am here. ’

‘ I warn you, I am not to be trifled with. ’

‘ if you believed it impossible, I wonder you took the trouble of coming so far. ’

‘ you may ask the questions, which I may not choose to answer. ’ 

‘ you have insulted me in every possible way and can now have nothing further to say. I must ask you to leave immediately. ’

‘ I have never been thus treated in my entire life. ’

‘ for once in your life,  just leave me alone! ’

‘ I couldn’t sleep. ’

‘ how can I ever make amends for such behaviour? ’

‘ you must know  —  surely you must know, that it was all for you. ’

‘ you are too generous to trifle with me. ’

‘ my affections and wishes have not changed. ’

‘ one word from you will silence me forever. ’

‘ you have bewitched me body and soul and I love and love and love you. ’

‘ I never wish to be parted from you from this day on. ’

‘ your hands are cold. ’

‘ I thought you hated the man. ’

‘ but will that make you happy? ’

‘ I was wrong, entirely wrong about him. ’

‘ you mustn’t tell anyone. he wouldn’t want it. ’

‘ you do love him, don’t you? ’

‘ I cannot believe that anyone can deserve you. ’

‘ and how are you today, my dear? ’

‘ I wish you would not call me “my dear”. ’

‘ what endearments am I allowed? ’

‘ and what shall I call you when I’m cross? ’

‘ how are you this evening,  ____ ? ’     

[nomdepen]

these violent delights.

dialogue prompts from these violent delights by micah nemerever.

i never told you my name.

who puts those awful ideas in your head?

you're forever assuming the worst.

what's that face? you look like you're going to cry.

you're one of those people who worry all the time, aren't you?

i don't worry, i ruminate. they're distinct actions.

nothing made you. you just are.

beautiful things are supposed to hurt.

people tell you you're shy all the time, don't they?

i don't know how i ever got on without you.

a little trouble is a good thing for a young person.

i wasn't born yesterday. i know what kids get up to.

it's good to have guns to stick to.

you could do anything to me and i'd let you.

i'm not ready to be seen. not yet.

i don't need you to treat me respectfully. i'm not made of glass.

tell me you love me, at least. please. i need to know somebody does.

do i look normal? i can't tell if i look normal.

you can get away with anything, as long as you act like an authority on the truth.

don't tell me what i want.

you know you're just about the worst liar i've ever met.

i don't think you've ever felt anything that didn't hurt you.

you're so square, you're a cube.

i just want you to believe me when i tell you you're worth something.

there are limits to what you can expect people to understand, without living it.

you can't fight everybody all the time. you still have to live with them.

i forget how blue the sky can be outside the city.

i'm going to push you off a cliff, you fucking boy scout.

thank you for trusting me with this.

be a kid while you still can.

please believe in the things i try to tell you, instead of the things you think you deserve to be told.

if the sun touched you for even a moment, you'd go up in flames. like a vampire.

your voice changes when you're angry.

what a lonely, dreary thing it is to know the truth.

you never look away, even when your eyes are closed, but i'm never certain you can see what's really there.

tell me you need me. in those words.

can i tell you something? that i'm all but certain you won't believe?

i never lie to you. but sometimes, i wish i could.

you never let me pretend the truth is alright when it isn't.

you have a profound, elusive sadness about you.

you didn't. please tell me you didn't.

you and your awful little games.

why would i bother to grow my own conscience when you're always around to pester me?

you're going to help me escape.

this house is a shadowbox, never meant for human things.

you have no right to stop me, and you're not going to try.

you're sweet, when you want to be.

do you want me to kill ____? i mean it.

it might do you good to be an orphan.

you're just so sincerely creepy.

wealthy people pay handsomely for the privilege of ignoring cries for help.

i've never seen you like that before. not once.

i've decided to learn to be impulsive.

the worst damage humans do isn't rooted in malice, but in thoughtlessness.

there's such a thing as right and wrong. anyone can figure out the difference if they're willing to think for themselves.

there's no part of you i can't see.

i don't want to hurt you. please don't let me.

you're ridiculous, sometimes. but that's alright.

i don't want you right now. go home.

i'm not like you. i don't even have a shape of my own to hold anything else in place.

i'll never matter the way you do, and you know it.

say what you need to say.

if you say the word 'deserve' one more time, i'm driving us off a bridge.

i've been meaning to talk to you about ____.

i'm worried about what you're getting into.

you don't see me. you can't. you never could.

it's your life. you're entitled to make your own mistakes.

i want you to know you deserve better. you don't have to put up with ____.

you scare the hell out of me. you really do.

you look the same way you always have.

i was worried i'd lost you.

i'll take care of you. i don't need you to be brave.

all i want to do is make you happy, and you're the unhappiest person i've ever met.

i would rather be cruel than weak.

i want you to let me be nice to you today. i don't care if you think you deserve it.

this place looks like somewhere in a jigsaw puzzle.

it's always been real for me. every second.

please don't say anything to my mother.

we can't fix it if you don't tell me what happened.

i'll call you when i can stand the sight of you. don't hold your breath.

hiding the truth is still lying.

i thought you'd finally trust me if you knew i'd kill for you.

i'm just as much of a monster as you are.

i was missing part of myself my whole life, until i met you.

righteous fury leaves no space for fear.

you can always talk to me. about anything, okay? i love you no matter what.

you played [game] in school, didn't you?

no one tolerates boredom worse than the idle rich.

someone needs to be looking after you.

you know you can't actually stop me, right?

i want to be able to look at you.

when you need to, you will understand.

i'm only ever early when i'm afraid.

people talk themselves into the strangest things when they want to look impressive.

in the end, there's no difference between trusting someone and underestimating them.

[nomdepen]

Although she had begun to grow quite weary as the night progressed, Pen tried her best to cling to any shreds of energy she had left. Her mama wouldn't allow them to leave early, not even if the building burst into a blazing inferno. So, if she wanted to survive the event with her wits intact, she'd have to ration her strength. Which wouldn't be hard to do. It wasn't as though anyone ever asked her to dance and, with Eloise still being upset with her, Pen had nothing to do but stare at the twirling guests, gowns glittering beneath the candlelight. It didn't matter, though. She preferred her place along the wall anyway. Or at least that's what she told herself to cope with the loneliness. It was safer and quieter on the outskirts, albeit lonely. She was lucky that her sisters were too busy with their own social endeavors to forget about mocking her all night, but that didn't mean she was safe. Pen shifted her weight from one foot to the other, chewing at the inside of her cheek and willing the hands on the clock to move faster.

"Oh, thank you, sir." Pen took the lemonade with a warm smile, dipping into a light bow. She had been so enthralled in her own thoughts that it had taken her an embarrassingly long moment to realize he was speaking to her. Grateful for the distraction, she swirls the cup in her hand, watching the granules of sugar spiral around the glass.

"Well, if I'm to be dressed like a bumblebee, I might as well indulge in some nectar." Raising the drink to her lips, Pen took a hearty gulp but nearly spat out the contents when the sweetness hit her tongue. "Oh, Gods. You weren't lying when you said a stone's worth."

For the first time in a very long while, Major Basil Ashford feels unsure on his feet. An uncomfortable uncertainty creeps its way up his spine, leaving pin-pricks to trickle out a cold fear that will surely stain his dress uniform. He is anxious. His face does not show it, but Basil feels as nervous and uneasy as a schoolboy preparing for his entrance exams.

In a way, he may as well be that fearful little fellow. This ball, his first since returning to London, will surely determine his future and standing amongst the more esteemed members of the city. Everything must go perfectly, and he must make a good impression. Otherwise, his family's legacy will be in shambles.

So he stands, a wallflower dressed in red regalia amongst a sea of black and blue formal wear. No dancing for him tonight, thank you, but he is making an attempt to be friendly.

"Here," Basil says, holding a cup of lemonade in his outstretched hand. "I thought you may be a tad thirsty. Hope you've got a sweet tooth; there must be a stone's worth of sugar in here."

[nomdepen]

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