non-functional-being

[non-functional-being]

“you okay?”

no I just want to drown here forever

[non-functional-being]

☁ Witchy Wednesdays #1 ☁

Banish Negative Energy from One's Life (Spell)

Materials Needed:

Lemon

Knife

Paper

Pen

Rope

Steps:

Cast a circle

Write the name of your target on the paper

Cut your lemon in half, or a slice if you need this done faster

Chant "When this lemon dries, let [Target Name]'s negative energy die"

Tie the piece of paper on your lemon half or slice

Wait for your lemon to dry, then squeeze the juice out of it and have your target drink it. You can make it into lemonade if you'd like.

Fuck You and Leave Me Alone (Revenge Spell Jar )

You Will Need:

A jar, preferably glass

A photo of your target

Paper and Pen

Dirt

Hot Sauce

Googly Eyes

Glue

Sewing Needle

Soy Sauce

Green Onyx

Black or red candle

Steps:

Cast a circle

Take the photo of your target, and stab a sewing needle into it. This will give them physical pain, depending on where you stab. For example, if you want to give them a migraine, stab the eyes. If you'd rather give them a stomach ache, the abdomen.

Coat the bottom of the jar with hot sauce, then soy sauce. Dump dirt on top of that. The soy sauce will additionally keep your target away from you.

Glue googly eyes to the sides of the jar. This will give them nightmares and paranoia.

Bury the photo in the dirt, then spit on where you buried it.

Put green onyx on top of the area the photo was buried.

Take your paper and write anything else you want to affect them on it. Some examples can be emotional pain, bad luck, or financial struggle.

Finally, drip candle wax on the lid to seal it, while chanting "You've caused me so much emotional pain, so much stress, now you're someone I detest. Here's my send-off, one last middle finger."

[non-functional-being]

[non-functional-being]

this is the purest video you will see all day, it includes not only practical advice on how to make cats feel comfortable but also:

the most patient and long suffering clawdia

bob ross, but a vet 

squish the cat

squish the cat, but with a towel

absolute unit mr. pirate

a little chubby but quite beautiful

please watch this immediately

[non-functional-being]

hope your pets stay healthy in 2017

[non-functional-being]

[non-functional-being]

do you want to know something?? I always wondered what the hell kind of hairstyle the Ancient Egyptians were trying to portray with depictions like these

and this

until I did my hair this morning and 

oh

welp

you can take the noses off our statues but until you find a way to take Egypt out of Africa we’re still going to find ourselves

[non-functional-being]

petition to rename the usa ‘south canada’

[non-functional-being]

anyways look at this art project from when i was in grade two

[non-functional-being]

gay!

when i say gay, you say gay -

gay!

[non-functional-being]

trying to prove a point to the boys at school

reblog this if you believe trans men are real men like this if you dont

[non-functional-being]

Someone I’ve known for 20+ years just posted this on my Facebook wall and I’ve never felt more seen in my entire life.

[non-functional-being]

reblog before december 17th

[non-functional-being]

reblog this to give every trans kid strength for the holidays

[non-functional-being]

Reblog if your blog doesn’t support transphobia

[non-functional-being]

I saw that you are the "Patron Saint of Shitposts" and I thought you might be pleased to know that there's a catholic holy day called Gaudete Sunday, where the priests wear pink robes.

this can’t be real

[non-functional-being]

how. fucking. Dare You