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when you split the heart open

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"You have never faced a death" is possibly the most patently insane thing possible to say to James T. Kirk, who has

survived a famine and genocide at age 13, in which over 4000 people died

survived an attack on the Farragut which killed half the crew, including a captain who he cared about, and which he blamed himself for failing to stop

been forced to kill Gary Mitchell, an old friend of his

lost numerous lovers, including a woman carrying his child, and including some he was at least partially responsible for the deaths of

arrived too late to save the lives of his brother and sister-in-law

lost too many crewmembers to count, and you know he held himself personally responsible for each and every one of those

probably more that I'm forgetting about

and then Spock dies, and Kirk fucking AGREES.

He says, yes, you're right. I haven't faced death. Not like this.

Not like this.

All of those deaths he's lived through, and blamed himself for? You're telling me that none of them mean as much to him as the death of Spock? And you want me to read this as. what. Normal friend things?? When he calls Spock the more noble half of his soul?? And says that Spock's katra is his responsibility, just as much as if it were his own???

And what if I screamed??!???

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Spock: The captain seems unhappy. Perhaps if I pretend to misunderstand a common Terran idiom, he will be amused.

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I have no expectation that Spirk will be canon an any new trek (and frankly I don't think I'd even trust paramount to try), but I do still need them to make Kirk and Spock weird about each other. If they're not weird about each other, it ain't them.

Because they're so ridiculously devoted to one another, y'know? Devoted and, frankly, adoring. They like each other so much. They are each other's Most Important Person. That's just. canon. It's In The Text. There is no one like Jim Kirk for Spock, and no one like Spock for Jim Kirk. It is not possible for anyone else to fill that position in their lives.

They have got to let them be weird about each other.

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another one for the "spock's hands touching the captain" series

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“Zantulbasn is the word for hobbit, or, more accurately, small hill people. But, kekhfar means … it means supreme arse, or that someone has the finest arse you’ve ever seen.”

Bilbo’s jaw dropped. “All this time! You lot called me that for weeks!” He remembered overhearing many a conversation where he was casually referred to as that amongst the dwarves.

Thorin’s laugh echoed through the chamber once more, filling it as he spoke. “Oh, by Mahal! I do apologize for the misunderstanding but … well … you must admit it’s quite fitting.”

“Fitting!” He shouted, his face a dark red as he raised up from the king’s chest to sit on his hips, looking down at the man. “I- all this time and you dwarven scoundrels were only looking at my behind!” Bilbo squinted. “Is that why Nori and Bofur kept insisting I ride near the front?” He shook his head, letting out a huff, though a chuckle still left him and his lips were turned in a small smile. “We were never in danger of being attacked from behind, were we?” He recalled they always told him to stay near the front in case of a surprise attack. Bilbo had never questioned it. Now he realized he should have.

“No, my dear Bilbo. We were never in danger of being attacked from behind, only you.”

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Posted chapter 37!!

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"don't go grocery shopping when hungry" doesn't work for me because Not Hungry Me cannot conceive of a universe in which food is needed so she buys like a cup of pomegranate seeds and some fancy cheese and thinks that'll get us through the week.

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Something people don’t bring up about nefarious goons and villainous heathens enough is that they’re always there for you. At your heights and lowest points, they’re always scheming for your miserable end and looking a little cute while doing it

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Animation unions are calling for a Laika boycott due to unsafe working conditions and sleazy hiring practices (like firing full time crew just to rehire as temps for less pay and benefits), apparently they also take the Amazon approach of treating workers like inhuman machines.

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I want one of those scenes in a dude bro film where “tomboy” chick has to wear a dress to go undercover or whatever, but instead of the guys drooling as she walks down the stairs, they’re like “k. U need to stop. Go put the cargo pants back on. You look super uncomfortable and awkward in that. Brutus, you go be the fake prostitute.”

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Pros of growing your own vegetables: There's food in my dirt.

Cons of growing your own vegetables: There's dirt in my food.

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All of me for all of you