nopesterlogs

[nopesterlogs]

Okay time to properly meet TT or Flighty Broad Rose Lalonde

Okay, so she really likes purple. she knits? and can't live too close to John considering the weather, but it does seem like she's been slack on giving a present to John on time.

Tree Captchalogue? Yeah I know nothing about those

Is That a mausoleum for a cat? :( Two meteors fall, Other people playing the game? The building next door has a big satellite dish. that feels related to the Meteors

a, that seems like a pretty slick Laptop from the time. I remember them being a lot more chunky, must be pretty expensive.

No Idea what her deck is doing though

Wizards to dads Harlequins is guess? I can't grab a shot of the silhouette, but roses mum maybe?

Why does this universe have no balustrades?????

Oh also i really like how the rain is done

Okay, observatory, at least there's no sun to stare directly at.

again, considering the meteors this feels like more than a conicidence

thats a lot, are they all hitting players?

There must be quite a few people if GameFAQS has 174 pages of discussion

okay less that 40 seconds

So yes it does make an apple, as well as a full tree

... did john take a bite or not?

huh

Okay I think John is not dead (Probably) considering the wacky way the game interacts with reality I feel like teleportation or a shield or something isn't impossible. or time travel considering

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So I've decided even this is two much reading for the premise of this live blog so I'm gonna start skipping this info too. I mean I'll probably pick up a bit via osmosis

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Just quickly,

Feel free to send in asks but if you send spoilers I won't see them.

So don't bother trying to help explain, If I wanted to know things I'd read all the text :p

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Is John just haunted now

if the Dowel is a generic object would latheing it change the object? Is the punch card to make an apple?

Okay so the Alchemiter scans the dowel and creates the objects the lathe is probably used to change the dowel, allowing for different objects. the lathe uses the punched cards to carve the dowel.

simple?

Oh shit.

a bro in the face of annihilation at least.

Now i know the world ends in this, So I assume this is how?

 However, units of BUILD GRIST are a gaming abstraction and do not seem to exist on the physical plane!

he can interact with the cursor, but not the grist?

Oh dads home

At least TT is trying to clean up some of their mess

This poor man

> John: Run to your room and contact TT through Pesterchum.

I can't believe they solved this problem for all of 5 minutes just to throw it back

Looks like I was right about the lathe, but also this Kernelsprite seems to be trying to point out the next thing to do, so its friendly?

He's does not look like someone who has a meteor hitting his house in 3 minutes

TT frankly does not have the net to play online coop

This is why you put all the important tech in one room

Uhh hello TT. Staring right at me

Thats Cthulhu Freud I know the photo

TentacleTherapist it makes sense, but did it have to be freud

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Okay back to the sims let play

So we got weird machines

Looks more like grist is a resource 20 isn't much. It seems like theres a lot of different kinds though that need to be unlocked?

Okay that is another copy of the game, and it seems important

Does it let john play like TT is?

did TT just block the door.

a, this didnt cost anything. Free vital equipment?

also this prepunched blue apple?

See I feel like I wasn't expecting anything different. I can't say Johns dad struck me as a street performer like he is? or John thinks he is?

> John: Install Pesterchum.

I Guess i'll be missing more stuff now

DON't stare straight at the sun???

ummm tt?

Moving stuff needs resources too

also that toilet only has one pipe. does it not use water?

???? wheres the out pipe

I feel like i don't recall seeing a greencard before?

Oh its a weapon card for the specibus?

Looks like GG is back, not that I have any idea what about

Does John have any idea what he's meant to be doing?

I mean does TT even

What does TT have against plumbing?

> TT: Put bathtub in driveway.

????

this is the first time I feel truely stumped. I can not fathom a reason for TT to be messing up the bathroom

at least Johns on it

So is TT gone for now? is that pesterlog just John Shouting "What the fuck?" into the void?

Can john Progress without TT?

I'm assuming he's just to weak to do so

well that seems important

Well it came out of the Cruxtruder so.. Crux of the matter is jumping to mind. but that doesn't help me understand at all

that wasn't showing before was it

No it wasn't

Now that can't be good.

Is the Crux or whatever a bomb?

Okay if this is Cruxite than the other thing might not be Crux related.

That is absolutely going in the totem lathe though. to make cruxite Totem I guess

> John: Captchalogue fanciful harlequins. John hates clowns so much that the moment he realises he can launch glass shards he immediately does so

it talks? in textures?

> TT: Drop maimed harlequin into Kernelsprite.

So its the Kernelsprite?

I gotta be honest I got nothing but I feel like this is important

Though I guess if thats how it talks John is no better off than me

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I Probably should of split that last one up

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Okay, time to enter the kitchen

I just noticed john is wearing his normal glasses under the fake ones, that can't be comfortable. he really does suffer for his art.

I appreciate the detail in the harlequins arm falling off. not everyone would go to the effort.

why does this have a heartbeat is this whole story gonna end with meeting Dagoth Ur in a volcano

Faceless dad here has baked and decorated an entire cake in like 15 minutes since getting home

> [S] STRIFE! Is john gonna attach his dad with a hammer

dads taking this quite well

or not

okay this was pretty funny. dude could of dropped them any time

heh

yknow for a guy whos backed at least 3 cakes today dads kitchen is really clean. Is he single

John why take his PDA.

Is this how Captchalogue upgrades are normally done? cause that... is inconvienient.

Quest Success. Another Birthday present?

is homestuck so long because its just john messing up the inventory system?

oh hey, number 4!

and... they're gone. they seem nice

TG has absolutely no chill

I can imagine were only starting to see the depths of meta this comic will go honestly

version 0.0.1? im surprised there is even a server yet to play

considering the fact they are the basic way people seem to interact with the world, you'd think it would be like basic knowledge taught in school.

... does john go to school?

how does this world work

???????

hes gonna launch the razor into the fucking computer at this point

close enough

Poor dad. wait how did the glass fall on the inside?

ooh a present from TG. I literally have no idea what to expect

NOOO???

John really needs to be stopped.

okay finally the present

Something suspiciously dirty and smelly.

:/

But no, it is not merely LIKE that bunny. According to this NOTE OF AUTHENTICITY, it is the VERY SAME BUNNY.

I have no idea how much movie memorabilia goes for but i can't imagine its cheap. TG Must be pretty well off.

Looks like Sburb is ready and TT is messaging.

Its got a client and a host so 2P? guess thats TT?

yeah TT is connecting

a, This music is banging

b, very sims, I think i saw "Sewing Mirrors" If I could pause I'd be inclined to read all of them, I wonder if theres anything important in there. is there a list somewhere? otherwise it seems pretty "recalculating Splines"

very sims Select revise and deploy feel like they are kinda self explanatory. but is it for the real world? theres what looks like an item registry? Grist Cache sounds like currency maybe?

last two I dunno but the last one has a punch capcha card?

oh theirs johns FIFO card sweet.

also what the fuck. although considering that other hand is this just a normal thing that's possible in universe?

ummmm what is the range on this thing

mildly convenient

Dads going out for MORE supplies?? why didnt he just get enough the first time??

okay I guess there is a range

the menace deserves to be prodded buy a terrifying game cursor

I like how he responds to the reference

So this game can just rewrite reality? just create matter out of thin air?

Seeing as John already lives a pretty Video gamey life is Sburb more like a mod that allows the host (or client actually which one is John) to effect the base code?

Seems like existence is based on a coded frame work. "It was all a video game" seems a bit too clich�� but maybe something like that is happening?

man it even effects the outside too

oh boy nebulous machinery

Cruxtruder - Extrudes something? a Crux presumably

Totem Lathe - Used to carve some kind of totem probably? that seems too simple though

Alchemiter - the Punch card thing had something to do with Alchemy too. Changes things with punch cards?

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mweeheeheehee. I am not telling you what I am Mweeheeheeheeing about but MWEEHEEHEEHEE

I've either gotten something right or very wrong i fear

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John: hmmm dad gets sad when he things about his mum :(

> John: Topple urn.

John is a menace

and such a nice father too

... if misguided...

the poster was a good present for john does dad think john likes the harlequins?

maybe he secretly does and just has teenage angst

Maybe john is trying to get haunted?

hey god

this is disconcerting

ohh looks like i'll get to ignore TT now

is Game Bro really that respectable?

This is one of those kids that tries super hard to be as adult as possible presumably

actually Dad seems to have hit the mark Johns enjoying this present to me

I want a full edition of Game Bro

okay so there is a size limit to the stuff that can be captchalogued. how di John move it to the lounge? I guess its light and the issue is pure size?

Theres a lot more reading in this run of homestuck than I expected honestly and a lot less pesterlogs than i was lead to believe

yeah honesty this just reads like a dad whos practising card tricks cause his kid likes them.. and i dont know likes peanuts so stashes them in here. fair if johns not one of those poor guys that slight slight slight traces cause issues

does john just think hes really bad at not following impulsive thoughts or does he know something is prompting him.

Kinda terrifying

man this really is full of surprises I wasn't expecting such a nice little musical break

so was that all just an intro? kinda foreboding

> John: Leave a surprise for the mailman.

well thats some whiplash

yeah that seems unimportant and won't pay of later

is the thing under the green box another copy?

also john was already sick of eating cake today, he has two in his room and the man is still baking what did he run out of ingredients and shop for more too? how many people is he planning to feed??

[nopesterlogs]

Valid

Beautiful

I never would of guessed how much of homestuck was inventory management

> John: Leave room.

:0 Can he do that

You exit into the HALLWAY.

oh guess so

on one hand the clowns are weird joke. on the other hand i can't fault a man for putting some colour in his house after Johns white only room

yeah okay maybe i can

:0

ninki minjaj

I can't tell if the joke is shes not evil and john just hates cakes or if the real joke is she turns out she is actually evil but i have no idea where Nicki Minaj comes into it

im gonna guess thats grandma not dead mum cause she seems older

the amount of clowns is interesting but i don't know if theres much more to say on it

okay sure poetic rambles is in homestuck i guess sure why not

as i said tight narrative

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oh look 4 kids

Godhead and Gnostic why so religious? I always forget my early schisms Gnosticism was... that the god that made the world was different and lesser than the god Jesus was about?

Does this even matter or did the writer just look up words that looked cool.

tentacleTherapist is a nice simple username I like them.

I feel like this doesn't count. so TG is red and thats all i'm gonna know

> John: Look out window.

It does make it feel like john read one line and was like "No. I'm not going to do this I would rather stare at my shitty lawn" get rekt TG

I like this face

and i feel like this is the first time ive ever had confirmation that thats what the flag if for. why don't you americans live in the paradox of mail-no mail until you open it like the rest of us

so he's waiting on a beta, presumably the one on the back of the door uhhhh (going back) Sburb?

That animation was beautiful.

honestly i feel like i wasn't actually expecting the homestuck to be more than a word salad title.

Whatever. The dude can just hold his damn horses.

Get rekt TG

You've put countless manhours into this assortment of quality titles.

if those games are just the older comics is "you" the writer? that explains the cake moving i guess?

I would like to take back what i said about these things being involved with future shenanigans :(

I guess the beta? I like how eager he seems

> John: Allocate hammer to strife specibus.

what.? okay think i never got this far before

strife implies fighting... so he's picking his weapon? is this some kind of rite of passage when kids turn 13 or.

hey wait

I guess this is just FFX in the future

there are so many words

Fight Specific-Species Syllabus? somekind of abstract hammer CAPTCHA Catalogue I give up

> John: Report progress to TG.

So why is TG getting john combat ready is TG the old man in charge of the tutorial

> John: Captchalogue Colonel's big book.

relevance :(

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well i feel like something in here is pivotal to future shenanigans

1) PAIR OF BEAGLE PUSS GLASSES

is that what their called?

so is the guy stuck to lid meant to be recognisable?

okay so is this meant to be a list structure? FIFO?

I am seriously very bad a coding barely dabbled at all

is johns life just some big computer simulation

You aren't totally sure if "EQUIP" is a verb copasetic with the abstract behavioral medium in which you dwell, but you give it a try anyway.

yknow maybe its good i'm doing bare minimum reading cause this is already getting ???? this writer needs less thesaurus...es? > John: Examine Problem Sleuth Poster.

i saw problem sleuth was a previous work so thats cute

There is a nice spot on the wall next to it. You've been meaning to hang another poster there soon.

>

Beside the note is a ROLLED UP POSTER.

love a tight narrative

Johns dad already is great, maybe John deserves his loose hammer and nails

"Another BIRTHDAY ARTIFACT"

is this nebulous you human?

I know the world is gonna end but i think its a bit early to be a artifact

> John: Acquire hammer and nails. They will come in handy.

Wait that the fuck whats wrong with blue tack

are they incapable of just holding things

> John: Squawk like an imbecile and shit on your desk.

ok

YOU JUST NAILED RIGHT THOUGH THE OTHER POSTER WTF JOHN

That was weird and i wasn't expecting to see someone impaled through the chest, though i guess that stuff explains the trigger warnings i didn't read

Films about impending apocalypse fascinate you. Plus, a black president??? Now you've seen everything!

wasn't this in 2009? I guess john doesn't watch the news?

ngl im glad this art style didn't stick

The icon is not a visibile or tangible entity! Characters in the game cannot interact with it, you blubbering imbecile!

So John is in a game? so as fair as he's aware the cake just flew through the air all by itself?

You are sick to death of cake!!!

how many cakes has he been given

use folders john please.

I guess if we are opening pesterchum this liveblog is finally gonna differ from the others

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Okay so i don't think im gonna spam the images cause I imagine anyone reading this has actually read the comic, unless someone is deciding to read homestuck only though a live blog of someone not even reading homestuck which is hilarious

Now i have read a little of the beginning before, though i don't think it was much at all, so the 13 years without a name thing i kinda remember. still weird tho.

who just leaves candles in the closed room of a 13 year old though meta attempt to not be stuck in the home cause the kid burns it down?? > Enter name.

pretty sure this was one of the things that threw me off the first time so ill just move right on

Candles, hammer and nails laying about, John is either an amazing kid or noone cares about the house values

>>You like to program computers but you are NOT VERY GOOD AT IT.

just like me fr fr

I can't judge his movie tastes cause i can't make out shit except ghostbusters 2 which i actually know nothing about

fond nostalgia of this set up though though either he's rich or an only kid cause this would of been in a set computer room so the kids don't fight

> John: Quickly retrieve arms from drawer.

kinda vaguely remember this shenanigan

so does john see this? is this just normal? benevolent hands of god just drop in? Malevolent hands of god? wait last page the "you" was the godhand and now its referring to John

You CAPTCHALOGUE them in your SYLLADEX. You have no idea what that actually means though.

I don't even know what you is right now

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Excuse you they do NOT look like Zagreus, I'm upset!

I dunno what to say my friends just say this

one night and said stuff about how it looked like someone from homestuck ill admit i dunno how cause i know the artstyle is basically

but i figured fan art was pulling some weight

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Well while im waiting i do remember a couple of other things

There are 4 kids

The World ends

Aliens are involved, pretty sure their something like trolls and they look like Zagreus Hadesgame

I'm pretty sure ill have seen art of a lot of different characters but like with no context so I'll probably be like hey i recognise that dude

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Okay I Got the collection thing lets go honestly this thing already seems pretty impressive for an fan archive effort. I'm going ahead with the recommended settings because i don't know any better

oh lmao I didnt get the bloody assets

good job everyone read over

[nopesterlogs]

https://www.tumblr.com/puppygirlharley/714894571813978112/what-the-fuck?source=share here ya go :)

Man that was fast.

Cliche but god works hard but homestucks work harder I guess

Thanks heaps!