norespectforreality

[norespectforreality]

2025 Goals

Lifestyle:

Get up no later than 6:35 on weekdays and 9:30 on weekends.

Make my bed every morning.

Follow the paper chore & household schedule in my kitchen.

Sit in my living room (or at least not in bed) most of the time when I'm at home.

Go to the farmer's market every weekend.

Go to the library frequently.

Decorate my walls.

Health:

Start doing basic exercises & stretching before bed more regularly.

Use Liquid IV (or similar) to help with POTS.

Purchase this Fitbit. (complete)

Purchase some more compression braces for my joints.

Consistently grocery shop, prep meals, and eat 3 meals a day.

Self care:

Start doing nice makeup daily.

Purchase a bracelet to wear and not take off.

Cut my hair more regularly.

Purchase sunglasses when I get a new prescription.

Organise my digital space & keep it organised.

Get my Spotify playlists into good shape.

Overall, the goal is to be ✨put together.✨

[norespectforreality]

tw// cults, religion, religious abuse & trauma, Christianity (no specific info)

If you have questions about religious trauma, religious abuse, cults, fundamentalist religions, etc. please ask me! I’m making a series!

I want to do a series answering questions and providing info about these specific types of trauma. I asked a while ago if anyone was interested, and a few people were interested, so I want to start that. You can send questions by replying here, in the ask box, or by DM. If you want to be anonymous, just tell me or send an anonymous ask. Asks can be anything from specifics about my experience (as long as they won’t make it possible to doxx me) to resources for others who are working through the same issues.

From the ages of 9-18 I was in a fundamentalist Christian cult/group that was somewhat associated with IBLP and ATI (the Duggar family’s cult). This was a big contributor in why I have CPTSD, and coming from this environment showed me how little info there is available about this type of trauma, so I want to try to help out with some info and answer questions. If I get no questions, I will probably still make a series but it won’t be nearly as thorough or helpful, so please ask questions!!

I haven’t decided the exact format of this series yet (it’s going to be largely based on where the questions come from and how many there are), so please be a little patient with me as I get it organized. I promise I will do my best to not make it overly intrusive as I know not everyone is interested in this content. I’ll also create a tag so that people can block the series if they don’t want to see it.

I also want to make it extremely clear that this is not and will not be an attack on religion in general, just on extreme fundamentalist cults. If you attack me over this series I will not respond and will not hesitate to block you immediately.

[norespectforreality]

me: *goes on a 2 hour walk* *is fine* also me: *exists* *ASTHMA TIME*

literally me hiking or walking long distances just fine sometimes but then struggling to walk 20 minutes to class other times

Chronic Illness moods

*loud crack* I don't even know what just popped

alternatively: I don't even know what just popped and OW

wow my joints hurt that's weird

*forgets I have a connective tissue disorder* *forgets I have a connective tissue disorder* *forgets I--

me: *goes on a 2 hour walk* *is fine* also me: *exists* *ASTHMA TIME*

speaking of which What If You Just Didn't Breathe While You Were Sleeping.

haha jk

unless.

let's try to figure out what causes my headache today!

the answer is.... absolutely nothing! no reason whatsoever!

what do you mean you don't get bruises without knowing why

WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU DON'T ALMOST PASS OUT STANDING UP

(talking to friends)

hey haha chronic illness things amirite "that one's actually just a normal experience" oh

OR

hey haha chronic illness things amirite "hey what the fuck are you ok do you need a doctor" /sigh

alright im fed up who wants a free spine

I've cracked the code! ok, so, I become my own surgeon right, and sell my organs on the black market--

FUCK I'm TIRED ive exerted so much energy by Being Awake sitting in bed 💔

fun fact I'm actually an 80 year old man in a 17 year old body

my rib....... what is she doing....... honey i feel you moving around you ain't slick what is going ON

healthcare does not exist and God has abandoned me so I will be my own miracle

[norespectforreality]

can we also get a shoutout to trauma survivors whose stories don’t feel “bad enough” or big enough to be believed and we have a hard time talking about it because of the constant fear of people invalidating it and saying it’s not really “that bad” 😢💔 love to all of you

Absolutely! Definite shoutout to those who feel their experiences aren’t “bad enough”.

Also, I’ll let you know that it’s normal for a survivor to think “it’s not bad enough.”

It doesn’t matter how “bad” it is. It never should have happened in the first place. Your feelings are valid. I believe you.

[norespectforreality]

You did it! You broke 2020 down to its bare essentials!

[norespectforreality]

Sometimes it feels like disabled/chronically ill people have to constantly be justifying what they're doing.

I know what I'm eating will make me sick, but so will starving because I can't find anything that won't.

I know I'm getting stared at for my bright pink cane, but I chose that color cause its my favorite.

I know for others it doesn't help to have a video going on in the background, but its not distracting for me, its helping.

I know I have a lot to do, but if I don't rest now, I'm not going to have any energy tomorrow.

I know. Trust us, we know. But it turns out the only people who know enough about our own abilities and what we can/can't do, are us, and our doctors.

Who knew, huh.

[norespectforreality]

don’t touch people that don’t want to be touched!!! people might not want to be touched due to abuse, people might not want to be touched due to sensory issues, and some people just don’t like it. i don’t care how weird or ‘sad’ it is that you can’t touch them, just don’t fucking do it. their comfort is more important than you poking them or hugging them.

[norespectforreality]

A shoutout to those who have “unbelievable” trauma experiences and because of that, you don’t like sharing your story in fear of invalidation.

I am here. I support you and I believe you.

[norespectforreality]

So I have the amnesiac-type of dissociation where stuff happens and you have no memory of it. For people with DID, this is where another alter might present. I don’t have DID though, I have cPTSD, so the person who fills the gap is me but like really really stupid. Like your body is being jaeger piloted and the other pilot is a dog trying its best.

Anyway all this to say I just found myself shirtless in my bedroom with a pair of clean socks beside me. Because I had been trying to change my socks. By taking off my shirt.

[norespectforreality]

i rly dont like the mindset that all lgbt people want is to be “accepted” and that all out community is about it “inclusion”. no. we want access to trans health care. we want anti discrimination laws for housing and employment. we want marriage equality. we want to stop trans kids from being forced to go by their dead name at school. we want to abolish the gay/trans panic defense. we want to stop corrective rape. we want black trans women to stop being murdered. being “accepted” by cishets isnt the goal, and neither is being an all-inclusive club. i want to be able to live my life freely as an lgbt person. our community was created out of the need to survive. that has nothing to do with being “valid”. 

[norespectforreality]

i mean this in the nicest way possible you guys but you NEED to take better care of yourselves online. getting severely anxious about mass quantities of horrible things you cant change every single day is normal considering the internet’s ability to educate on worldwide issues, it shows that you have empathy and that you truly do care. but relentless knowledge of constant suffering on this scale is NOT something humans are psychologically equipped to handle. it’s okay to shut off. it’s okay to just take a break and enjoy yourself for a while in your own localized space

[norespectforreality]

Team “I can hear the near silent hum of electrical appliances and the bubbles fizzing in the can of soda on the coffee table, but can’t watch tv without subtitles and processes conversation at ¼ speed”

[norespectforreality]

Check this shit out. I love a good “make you experience the scale of Jeff Bezos’ wealth” simulation.

This is an exercise in frustration.

[norespectforreality]

me: wants to play multiple instruments, create art, speak multiple languages, etc.

me: lays on the floor face down for an hour instead

[norespectforreality]

Things that help with (C)PTSD nightmares/night terrors/sleep paralysis/etc.

Disclaimer: The tips in this post are things that help me personally and that I think are likely to help other people, but there’s no guarantee they’ll be right for everyone. Do what’s best for you!

- White noise - I started sleeping with white noise last spring due to an obnoxious refrigerator, and it’s done wonders. I find that when I use white noise I’m much less likely to have a nightmare or night terror in general, and I also have an easier time falling back asleep when I do. The app I prefer is called White Noise Deep Sleep Sounds (it’s got a picture of a moon and stars on a dark blue background), and I use the “Brown Noise” sound on that app.

- Some light - I find that I generally feel much, much safer in my room at night when I have just a bit of light. Since I live in an urban area, leaving my blinds about 15-20 cm (about 6 in) from the bottom of the window provides just enough light for me. I think this is helpful because my mind is less able to trick me about my environment when I can see the environment clearly. I also have a much easier time falling asleep and falling back asleep when I can see a little.

- Heavy blankets - A common theme in most of this list is making sure I feel safe and comfortable. I struggle with nightmares/terrors/etc. much, much more when I feel restless, uncomfortable, or unsafe. Personally, heavy blankets help me solve some of these issues. I generally toss and turn less when I’m weighed down, and I feel safe under a huge mass of covers. I’m not a huge fan of weighted blankets (although they work really well for some people) because they feel very constricting to me, so I sleep under a blanket, a comforter, and a thin knitted throw. I also have a body pillow next to me, a comfort pillow I’ve had for most of my life, and often a sweatshirt to add to the safeness and comfort.

- Cold environment - I’m honestly not sure why this helps, but it does. I think that being in a cold room bundled up in heavy blankets (see above) does wonders for my perception of the space. I feel safe and comfortable. 

- Regular sleep schedule - This should go without saying, but it’s much easier to sleep well (i.e. without nightmares/terrors/etc.) when your sleep cycle is regular. First of all, it’s predictable to your brain and body, so they know it’s time to sleep. It also helps make sure your sleep cycles work properly. Keep in mind that although it’s important to keep a consistent sleep schedule, it doesn’t have to be a “healthy” one. Right now, my sleep schedule is 2:30 AM - 10 AM. That’s not the ideal schedule, but it’s consistent, so I generally sleep through the night.

- Nighttime routine - The reason this works so well is that I can convince my brain that it’s time to sleep. If I always do the exact same thing before I lay down for bed, that routine makes me sleepy. And when I’m sleepy and definitely ready for bed, I sleep much more soundly and tend to have fewer issues in the night than when I’m restless prior to falling asleep.

- Compassion for yourself - Nightmares, night terrors, and sleep paralysis are going to happen. There’s no way to get around that. However, how you handle them in the aftermath matters a lot. I make sure to set myself boundaries for handling these events. The first thing I do is actually something I don’t do - I don’t check my phone. Sometimes I’ll look at it later on if I’m really struggling, but I try to avoid it if at all possible because it makes it very hard for me to fall back asleep. I also generally get up, use the bathroom, eat a snack, get some water - basically, just do things to take care of myself. Not everyone needs to handle these types of things the same way, but it’s important to be compassionate to yourself and to have a plan for handling them. It makes them much more bearable, I promise.

[norespectforreality]

[norespectforreality]

How to Survive Online Courses (Mental Illness Edition)

1. Even though your classes are online, they are still real classes. Treat them like they are - go to them, take notes like you normally would, attend virtual office hours (if they’re available), etc. This not only helps you succeed with your coursework, but helps you make a consistent routine and keep busy.

2. Deadlines feel arbitrary and meaningless right now. I get it. But, they aren’t arbitrary or meaningless. If you had a time management system that worked for you before, stick to it. If you didn’t have a time management system before, now is the time to get one. You will not succeed in online courses if you can’t manage your time and meet deadlines. Don’t be afraid to talk to your professors and ask for extensions if you need them.  Be honest with yourself and admit if you need help. Most professors are reasonable, especially during such extenuating circumstances, but the worst they can say is no. It never hurts to ask.

3. Set up a study space. Find a place in your home where you can study successfully (see this post on how to figure that out) and study there. I find it helpful to make a rule that if I’m studying, I’m in that place, and if I’m in that place, I’m studying (studying = place and place = studying). It’s really important to keep this place clean and happy. If your study space is messy, your brain will be messy too.

4. Set up a study routine. If you already had a routine that works for you, great - keep it going. You could also modify your old routine or create an entirely new one that works better with your current lifestyle. It doesn’t really matter what the routine is - it matters that it exists. If you know “I do x homework on Tuesdays at 4,” it’s much easier to make x homework happen when Tuesday at 4 rolls around. Habits work, people. Create them.

5. Take care of yourself! Eating, hygiene, sunshine, exercise, socialization - these are all incredibly important things. Don’t slack on those to make schoolwork happen. It’s not worth it. If you slack on these type of things, it will tank your mental health and you won’t be able to study successfully at all. Trust me, I’ve gone down that road. Prioritize yourself. You matter more than your grades.

6. Talk to your friends and classmates. Even if you can’t see your friends in real life, that doesn’t mean you can’t interact with them. Even the amount of socialization involved in working on an assignment with a classmate will do wonders for your mental health, but spending time with a close friend will do even more. Reach out to your friends - they’re just as lonely and miserable as you. If there’s someone you usually sit with in class, study with, or work on homework with, reach out and ask if they want to study or work on homework together online. If you’re involved in social groups, check with them to see what events have been moved online. Talk to people, I promise it helps!