normal-internet-user - Tumblr blog

[normal-internet-user]

Having a sleepover and me and my cousins just got inside after laying on a trampoline in the rain listening to wonderwall.

Good soup

[normal-internet-user]

seaweed brain

[normal-internet-user]

we should globally ban the introduction of more powerful computer hardware for 10-20 years, not as an AI safety thing (though we could frame it as that), but to force programmers to optimize their shit better

[normal-internet-user]

[normal-internet-user]

[normal-internet-user]

just because i haven’t seen anyone talking about this. how do we feel robin jason nation

[normal-internet-user]

hey pookies…… so i have fallen for a scam…..

luckily nothing too far, just some posting a couple of asks.

anyways,

there are scammers going around pretending to be people from palestine and gaza, asking for money. they are going as far as to posing as real people, allies, & advocates and it’s disgusting.

a gracious commenter (who’s user is cannot remember and i feel so bad that i can’t but i appreciate them so so much for this) let me know and they gave me a few links!

https://www.tumblr.com/kyra45/742772332577308672/scammer-pretending-to-be-in-palestine-v2

https://www.tumblr.com/kyra45/746741797402886144/scammer-pretending-to-be-a-palestinian-v3

https://www.tumblr.com/littlebeetledragon/743175566132494336/please-watch-out-for-fake-palestine-gofundmes-in

[normal-internet-user]

Please watch out for fake Palestine gofundmes in your inbox. I got one and I double checked if it was legit by reverse image searching a photo from the blog's pinned post and found a real gofundme under a different name with all the same text otherwise. The blog's oldest post is 7 hours and their link took you to paypal instead of the gofundme website.

Remember, if someone is asking for money in asks, check how old the blog is and try to look up the text or images used. Stay wary of links too.

[normal-internet-user]

Have you ever been to earth?

On earth, we use the word “burrito” to describe a tortilla filled with things you eat. Pretty simple stuff, and I’m surprised you at least got that part right. My burrito was, in fact, filled with food. In this, you and I agree and are friends. But this is also where my lifelong hatred begins for you and anyone else whose brain has been repeatedly scrubbed with the same mixture of bleach and Pop Rocks as yours has. Because that should have killed you, but left you around long enough to do what you did to me today. Let me explain:

You’re an idiot.

Let me further explain:

Burritos are eaten from one end to the other. So that means when you assemble a burrito with motherfucking ZONES of ingredients going that direction, you create a disgusting experience for the burrito’s end user. When you make a burrito, you should put the ingredients in layerslengthwise. That way, every bite has AT LEAST A FUCKING CHANCE of getting at least two types of ingredients, and there is little chance of becoming almost hopelessly trapped in a goddamned cilantro cavern.

Have you ever eaten one of the things you make all fucking day? You should try one. They are pretty good WHEN YOU ARE NOT WILLING YOURSELF THROUGH THE FUCKING EMPIRE OF SOUR CREAM ONLY TO END UP IN LETTUCE COUNTRY.

When you eat a burrito, you don’t stand it up and bite down on it lengthwise like a fucking Rancor. Humans can’t usually dislocate their jaws, and I’m not a fucking pelican. But you must think that’s how it’s done, since that would be THE ONLY FUCKING WAY to take a bite of your crapstrosity and have it taste like a burrito.

And guess what else, player? You probably can’t guess anything, because I’m pretty sure you’re just a mop with a hat on it that fell over and spilled some shit into a tortilla, but just in case, here’s what:

Humans also don’t eat burritos like fucking corn on the cob. Like a fucking typewriter from one end to the other a little at a time and then DING next line. But today I wish I had tried that. Because at least THEN I would be able to eat some rice, then beans, then be all like HEY BEANS I’LL BE RIGHT BACK JUST GOING OVER HERE TO THE GUACAMOLE FOR A SECOND.

Nope.

My experience was more like HEY BEANS IT’S JUST GOING TO BE YOU AND I FOR A MINUTE UNTIL I CAN FUCKING EXCAVATE THE RICE FROM BENEATH YOU BUT BY THEN YOU WILL BE A FADING MEMORY OH HEY I WAS WRONG I’M IN THE FUCKING CHEESEOSPHERE NOW RICE MUST BE NEXT I HOPE IT’S NOT ANOTHER FUCKING SALSA POCKET.

You built this thing like a fucking pack of LifeSavers.

And don’t even fucking think I’m about to open this shit up and re-engineer your nonsense 90 degrees. I ALREADY PUT A HOLE IN IT WITH MY FUCKING MOUTH. YEAH. THAT’S HOW I DISCOVERED YOU FUCKING SUCK AT LOOKING AT THINGS. I AM NOT GOING TO DO FUCKING TORTILLA ORIGAMI TO GET THIS SHIT BACK TOGETHER, ONLY TO END UP WITH A BURRITO THAT’S BEEN SHOT IN THE GUT AND IS BLEEDING YOUR INEPTITUDE.

What’s that? I should ask you to mix it up first next time? IS THIS JAMBA JUICE? I DON’T WANT TO DRINK MY FUCKING BURRITO THROUGH A BENDY STRAW, AND I DON’T WANT A PILE OF BURRITO SOUP IN A FLOUR CAN.

I just want a burrito.

In conclusion:

You’re the worst thing that has ever happened to the universe, you owe everyone everywhere an apology for this burritobomination, and I hope your babies look like monkeys.

UPDATE FOR EVERYONE WHO SAID “JUST EAT IT WITH A FORK”:

A fucking fork?

I DIDN’T ORDER THE FUCKING COBBURRITO SALAD.

If anyone ever handed me a burrito with a fork, THEY WOULD BE WEARING A BRAND NEW BURRITO HAT FROM MY FALL COLLECTION TEN SECONDS LATER.

That’s like buying a car and having them hand you a fucking wrench with the keys. Like YEAH WE KNOW THIS MOTHERFUCKER’S GOING TO EXPLODE AND BE SPREAD ACROSS EIGHT LANES AS SOON AS YOU HIT THE GAS, BUT SHIT, WE GAVE YOU A WRENCH, SO BE COOL.

Jesus already gave me two burrito forks. One at the end of each arm. They’re called fucking HANDS.

A fork. My god. I haven’t cried since I was six, but I’m fucking sobbing now.

People eat burritos with forks?

God is sorry he made us.

(Source)

[normal-internet-user]

Abolish the comic book industrial complex 🙂

[normal-internet-user]

Reblog if you think a woman can be complete without children

Y’ALL HAVE TIME TO REBLOG THIS. IT TAKES LESS THAN FIVE SECONDS.

[normal-internet-user]

its dangerous to go alone! take thisヾ(≧▽≦*)o

the PNGs 🥺🤲💕

[normal-internet-user]

They Do Not Exist (1974) by Mustafa Abu Ali (watch)

[normal-internet-user]

I put way too much effort into this ( based on this meme, it wouldn’t leave me alone until it was drawn — I am freee )

[normal-internet-user]

[normal-internet-user]

[normal-internet-user]

reblog if ur mom is smart and beautiful