noshirtnoblouse - Tumblr blog

[noshirtnoblouse]

i feel like i posted this when it happened, but idk

my mom has had metastatic breast cancer for the last 3 years. It's been manageable and not impeded her day-to-day life with oral medication and some radiation.

however in the last two months something has drastically changed. she's developed gastritis and has been experiencing horrible acid reflux. in the last week she's also lost the ability to swallow and had to go to the ER to get an IV to keep her hydrated. her doctor wants to start chemo and start it soon.

i'm feeling a lot of very conflicting emotions. I haven't always had the best relationship with my mom and even as her cancer progresses I'm trying hard to remember good memories but I can't. my mind keeps running through all of the things that have made me resent her throughout my life. but even so, I'm scared for her. I'm sad she's in pain, I'm sad she has to go through this. I'm not ready for her to leave, I'm not ready for my dad to be alone. I can't keep my mind from thinking about the worst outcomes.

It's hard to think of anything else. I haven't told anyone in my life about her either, because she was fine up until now.

her and my dad had literally planned a two week trip to Peru because she was fine!!! and now she's in the hospital waiting for test results to tell her when she can start chemo.

[noshirtnoblouse]

[noshirtnoblouse]

[noshirtnoblouse]

The Barbie movie reminded me about how when I was little my parents were upset that I kept making my Barbie dolls kiss, so they bought me a Ken doll. The next day they found me having a funeral for poor Ken in the garden, he had died of tuberculosis. All the Barbies were in attendance and I buried him under our rose bush. The Barbies were too poor to afford a headstone (it was 1875) so I didn’t mark where the grave was and I never could find him again. He’s probably still there.

[noshirtnoblouse]

obsessed with him

[noshirtnoblouse]

realizing that i am on the outside of every relationship i have in my life hits me like a tone of bricks every time 

[noshirtnoblouse]

I don't think I've seen an actor who is this passionate about their role ever

[noshirtnoblouse]

[noshirtnoblouse]

Malcom in the Middle | | 1.16 Water Park

Bonus + 

[noshirtnoblouse]

as much as i love seeing orcas launching what appears to be intentional coordinated attacks on human ships it also makes me very sad because if it starts to become a genuine problem or even an extremely minor disruption to business people are going to just start killing them and i don't know that the orcas really understand the power differential they're dealing with here. that is why i am starting an organization whose mission will be to establish communication with the orca populace and provide them with equipment and training in order to level the playing field and empower them to take control of the seas, with the potential to open up trade and diplomatic relations on their own terms

[noshirtnoblouse]

[noshirtnoblouse]

goodbye succession (2018-2023) and thank you for giving us the best scene in television history

[noshirtnoblouse]

Not to be all "old man yells at cloud" but back in my day we had a movie about a young teen who couldn't wait to be "Thirty, flirty, and thriving," and now I get confronted with anti aging products aimed at 20 year olds.

[noshirtnoblouse]

"what's your dream job??" Uhh to have 17 weird little hobbies that I don't have to be good at and hang out with friends. I get money via being the world's specialist little princess

[noshirtnoblouse]

Tom straight up telling Shiv in Living+ that he loves his watches and his suits and his money and his career too much to choose anything like love over them and then in America Decides making the choice that he believes will help him keep his career and his watches and his money and his suits despite its utter moral depravity and also despite the fact that Shiv really really wants him not to. Jesse Armstrong you’re so sick