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[nosnikliwxela]

Groundbreaking

I’m a master of the lives of everyone else, but not of my own. Riveting, right? I mean, I’m hardly the first person to come to this self-realisation, but boy oh boy, it’s one hell of an epiphany. What you’re admitting when you discover this, is that you are a failure, and that shit can sit heavy in the pit of your stomach.

So what do you do with this new, groundbreaking information? What do you do when you open your eyes to the reality of yourself, and see a dickhead; a bum; a nobody; a nothing...

A failure.

Unfortunately I’m not sure of the right answer, as this realisation is relatively new to myself. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve felt as though I were those things before, but this time I know it. This sounds as though it should be hellish, but truth be told, it is quite liberating to have these thoughts confirmed, for once you know, your no longer wondering.

I think one of the problems that I’ve brought upon myself is an apparent lack of humility. Recently, one of my friends asked me for investment advice. In earnest I enthusiastically replied. Yes! I replied Yes, I can help you! blind to the irony that whilst I live in the shed at my parents house, my friend has his own home, and runs a seemingly successful company of his own.

What he’s done, you see, is play to his strengths. He’s found something that he enjoys, applied himself to it, and made a success for this. Groundbreaking revelation numbers 2 and 3 - play to your strengths and do something you enjoy for a living. Wow, I really am on fire.

So what does any of this even mean? Well, my take is that I have to give a shit. I have to put in some effort so that I may progress with what I enjoy. Not just half-arse its whilst claiming expertise in the field of others.

I have to admit that I know nothiing.

And then I have to try to learn.