nostoccommune

[nostoccommune]

remade a while ago, @bluejeandill these days if anyone is still out there. i am largely the same but more self assured and stronger. still mainly vegetable posting you know how it is

[nostoccommune]

my 2 beautiful daughters hypergraphia and echolalia

[nostoccommune]

she should be at The Crumb

bar for ants called The Crumb

[nostoccommune]

bar for ants called The Crumb

[nostoccommune]

comments left on the video for Iceblink Luck by Cocteau Twins 

[nostoccommune]

I’m still awake because I haven’t brushed my hair in 2 days and I MUST do that before I sleep on it again. dread and anguish for 1000 years. I was thinking I’d keep her long until 30 but idk if I can make it another year even. I am like five feelings away from the clippers.

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I don’t think anything that happened in 2011 counts.

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society if I had had like 5 weeks of decent behavioral therapy for dermotillomania when I was 13

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as if nature isn't the most prolific storyteller out there!! with her layers of sediment and mountain-top fossils. with her trodden down paths and carved out river beds. with her fresh springs and billowing waterfalls. rotting branches and hollowed tree trunks... creeping coastlines and collapsing cliff faces... a living record of time immemorial; both an archiver and witness!!

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[nostoccommune]

reblog ifyou love her and she makes you smile the coelacanth

[nostoccommune]

Will is in engineering school and still sober and so smart and so funny and so beautiful. He wants to move to the desert and I hope he gets to. I hope he moves to a different planet. I hope he wakes up tomorrow and he’s 19 years old and his body is perfect with little rays of golden light shining from under his fingernails and he moves to Arizona and never talks to any of us again

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The doctor said I have to get rid of my scary pumpkin

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I’m learning to sew as well. I’m doing a lot better at my job also

[nostoccommune]

My fear of driving is almost completely gone tho and i’m learning really fast and excited about just like driving myself around places. Very into being alone lately and my dependence on catching rides makes it hard to be as alone as I’d prefer to be.

[nostoccommune]

One thing I will say : when I was almost in a plane crash in may 2022 I’m pretty convinced the plane did crash and I entered , optimistically, another reality where the plane did not crash, or, more realistically, a weird sad entropic afterlife populated by sort of phantom automatons mimicking the relationships I had in life. I have felt a pervasive, and again, sad, sense of unreality ever since

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Not like my takes are too hot to type like the actual material events of my life continue to reconfigure in bizarre entropic states and a part of me just wants to write down the facts of the weird way I’ve been living lately but I just stand nothing to gain from expressing it

I wish I could say what’s going on but tbh I can’t. I’m in my inexpressible era but I’m not talking like the limit of what language can capture but rather the limits of what I feel is acceptable in terms of utility + propriety. Like I know exactly what I would say if there was any point in saying it however there’s just not.