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my pet seaweed

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Being the only person in a non-residential building is one of those things that feels illegal but isn’t

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NOOOO THE SIX ORGASMS PERIOD HACK GOT REBLOGS DISABLED JUST AS I TRIED TO REBLOG IT whatever. I'm trying that next period.

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Gull inspecting two fake eggs and deciding to incubate the larger one By: Thomas D. McAvoy From: Life Nature Library: Animal Behavior 1965

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it's okay if you as a lesbian want to fuck the straight blonde popstar but you can't be pretending she's a lesbian too girl at least make it a lesbian corruption kink or some shit

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One of my brothers has this thing where he likes to be included on sibling movie night but he will not sit down or actually join us, he’ll just wander around the house and periodically show up to lurk in the doorway or lean on someone’s seat

And *I* have this thing where I always always know when he’s there, because every time he’s not wandering around like the ghost of bob marley and isn’t immediately visible it’s because he’s stopped moving to watch the film from directly behind me, which makes the back of my neck tingle like a dog sensing an earthquake

Which has on more than one occasion resulted in me interrupting the movie to tell him to just sit the fuck down and stop lurking in the shadows, Jesus Christ, it’s like I’m being haunted by the memory of ancient sins

Which has in turn been shortened to just “ancient sins”, every time I feel him doing it again

So to summarize, sometimes when my siblings and I get together for a movie night, we’ll all be sitting in the dark in complete silence until my ass deadpan announces “ancient sins” and a 90 pound 5’11” Slenderman looking motherfucker emerges from the shadows behind me like a jumpscare incarnate in Batman pajamas pants and informs me that we are out of orange soda

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maarten inghels

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Okay

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my mum has severe knee problems and needs a replacement. Today she was told she's too fat to be operated on and the knee specialist suggested she gets a gastric band - which also involves surgery. So my mum was like first of all you didn't read my file because it explains that I'm not fat because I eat too much second of all you said it's impossible for me to get surgery and then suggested I get a surgery about it? He then asked her her weight and height, didn't believe her answer, and made her prove it to him because she "looks fatter than that". So she was like so you also just entirely based this on looks instead of actual numbers?