not-him-someone-else

[not-him-someone-else]

You used to be smaller

is it just me or did ants used to be larger

[not-him-someone-else]

Well I guess they're gonna have to starve

divorce themed restaurant menu

dessert: CUSTARDy Battle

yeah that's all i've got so far sorry

[not-him-someone-else]

Of waking up with headaches.

You don't grow any other new body parts

You woke up this morning with a terrible headache, and discover you’ve grown horns while you’ve slept. Unbeknownst to you, this is just the beginning.

[not-him-someone-else]

I knew I wasn't living by the sword all this time for nothing

It's get killed with swords monday

[not-him-someone-else]

Or 7 pet sloths and name the last one steve

Today my wife texted me this, and then immediately called me to make sure I got it because it was “an urgent message”.

[not-him-someone-else]

It's just baby pictures

You’re visiting your parents at your childhood home and decide to do some Spring cleaning in the attic. Under a pile of dust, you discover your first 90’s PC and miraculously it still powers on. You check the documents folder. There’s only a single text file. It has your name on it.

[not-him-someone-else]

Wait you guys don't sleep in full plate armor?

I’ve literally never tried sleeping shirtless until recently and oh my god. tits out sleep is the best type you can get huh

[not-him-someone-else]

All will be frozen.

As it should be

I've heavily considered blocking people for loving summer in my notes. fuck summer forever.

[not-him-someone-else]

Even if it's accidental?

Unrelated note want to try some sashimi I just made?

Being poisoned is probably so flattering

[not-him-someone-else]

Mercy is a currency.

And me?

I'm committing tax fraud!

[not-him-someone-else]

You know what

Have an eel

[not-him-someone-else]

Society has completely restored itself and your rent is due

After a long time in the bunker, a voice comes over the radio and says: "to those who have survived, it's safe to go outside." You gradually make your way out and open the emergency door, but what you see on the other side leaves you filled with horror.

[not-him-someone-else]

So you can incorporate it into your plans

I think I just had a seizure. Like fr

Why tell me?

[not-him-someone-else]

It's a very deadly peace of playground equipment

you seem like you unironically enjoyed electroswing circa 2012

this website's hate mail game is insane

[not-him-someone-else]

Plus he'd have bear hands

how many angry female cows could you fight bare handed do you think

Cows? Those big ones? Realistically probably about 400 before I'd start breaking a sweat.

[not-him-someone-else]

"you know never get middle names so I'll take that one"

“Could I have your name?” The Fae asked with a slightly warped smile. “of course,” You respond, returning their smile “Which one would you like?”

[not-him-someone-else]

USA people! Buy NOTHING Feb 28 2025. Not anything. 24 hours. No spending. Buy the day before or after but nothing. NOTHING. February 28 2025. Not gas. Not milk. Not something on a gaming app. Not a penny spent. (Only option in a crisis is local small mom and pop. Nothing. Else.) Promise me. Commit. 1 day. 1 day to scare the shit out of them that they don't get to follow the bullshit executive orders. They don't get to be cowards. If they do, it costs. It costs.

Then, if you can join me for Phase 2. March 7 2025 thtough March 14 2025? No Amazon. None. 1 week. No orders. Not a single item. Not one ebook. Nothing. 1 week. Just 1.

If you live outside the USA boycott US products on February 28 2025 and stand in solidarity with us and also join us for the week of no Amazon.

Are you with me?

Spread the word.