notapatient-blog

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tag dump #2

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@thealternates plotted

Black boots gently kick around a bit of broken glass ( was this a bottle or a cup? ) it’s been on the floor too long for her to tell; hazel eyes looking up to the Host--  scanning briefly over the blood stained bandage before settling on the front of his coat.

.                         ❛ There’s a bunch of glass and shit everywhere, ❜  

She pauses, teeth tugging gently on her lip ring as she thinks, looking down at glove covered hands before gently extending one towards the Host, thin fingers gently grazing the other’s wrist so he knows that it’s there in spite of his blindness.

.                         ❛ My gloves are on-- so don’t worry about that, but this is the easiest way to show you to the couch. ❜

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MILK  &  HONEY                POETRY  RP  STARTERS  BY  RUPI  KAUR. PART 1.   FEEL  FREE  TO  MODIFY  PRONOUNS.

❛    we  are  capable  of  love  but  choose  to  be  toxic.   ❜  ❛    you  have  a  sadness  living  in  places  sadness  shouldn’t  live. ❜ ❛    i’m  difficult  to  forget  and  not  easy  for  the  mind  to  follow.  ❜ ❛    you  are  a  war.   ❜      ❛    every  revolution  starts  and  ends  with  his  lips.   ❜ ❛    the  truth  is..  you  make  me  speechless  ❜ ❛    he  makes  my  tongue  so  weak  it  forgets  what  language  to  speak  in.  ❜ ❛    what  drives  you  crazy?  what  keeps  you  up  at  night?  ❜ ❛    so  that’s  what  you  do..  you  command  attention.  ❜ ❛    you  look  like  you  smell  of  honey  and  no  pain.  ❜       ❛    i  always  get  myself  into  this  mess.  ❜ ❛    i’m  a  dreamer  and  that  will  be  the  death  of  me.  ❜ ❛    you  were  so  distant.  i  forgot  you  were  there  at  all.  ❜ ❛    don’t  mistake  salt  for  sugar.  if  he  wants  to  be  with  you.. he will.  ❜        ❛    you  were  temptingly  beautiful       but  stung  when  i  got  too  close.  ❜ ❛    don’t  come  here  with  expectations  and  try  to  make  a  vacation  out  of  me.  ❜ ❛    the  thing  worth  holding  on  would  of  never  let  go.  ❜ ❛    love  made  the  danger  in  you  look  like  safety.  ❜ ❛    i  don’t  grieve..  i  shatter.  ❜        ❛    when  i’m  angry,  i  don’t  yell        i  burn.  ❜ ❛    we  began  with  honesty.  let  us  end  in  it,  too.  ❜ ❛    your  voice  alone  drives  me  to  tears.  ❜ ❛    like  a  broken  promise..  let  it  go.  ❜ ❛    our  backs  tell  stories  no  books  have  have  the  spine  to  carry.  ❜   ❛    you  were  a  dragon  long  before  he  came  around  and  said  you  could  fly.  you  will  remain  a  dragon  long  after  he’s  left.  ❜ ❛    the  world  gives  you  so  much  pain,  and  here  you  are  making  gold  out  of  it.  ❜      ❛    you  split  me  open  in  the  most  honest  way  there  is.  ❜

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crackedshell:

@notapatient heart’d the BA BY

“ You look troubled, lady. Is everything okay ? “

.                       ❛ I appreciate the concern-- but I always look like this. ❜

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heavenlytoymxker:

“Jesus–!!” The toymaker nearly jumped out of his skin before hearing what the other had to say. “Ya scared the shit outta me!” He gasped before taking into account what the other had said.

“…I…I suppose yer right.” He said between deep breaths.

.                       ❛ I didn’t mean to startle you-- sorry. ❜

In spite of the apology her expression read more disinterest than anything, glove covered hands tucked away in leather pockets. Shifting her weight from one foot to the other, Jason looked the toy maker over for a moment. Jumpy. 

.                       ❛ My name is Dr. Jason Sweeney, I’m a psychiatrist, you work here, right? ❜

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tag dump #1

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heavenlytoymxker:

“Honest t’ god, I don’t know what kinda child would sleep soundly with this monstrosity next to their ‘ead.”

.                       ❛ Kids have all kinds of weird coping mechanisms, maybe they think it’ll scare off something worse. ❜

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new icons new me

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softwareshiit:

her accent is familiar… french-american? corsican. he recognized it from his many less than savory dealings with the french milieu. he found it better to coordinate with the organized crime and terrorists outside of his own country. 

                      less MESSY.

ivan nodded at her answer, though he watched her somewhat skeptically.

 ‘  too late for little girls to be out. ’ he says at last, ‘ i v’ill drive home. or call cops. ’

she put her leather bound notebook away in her satchel; along with her other possessions. with what little she had left, a screw driver, $65 dollars in small bills and half a cheeseburger. having the majority of her childhood spent in an asylum did not lend itself well to social skills, and perhaps, if she hadn’t, and old man hanging around a child’s playground would have raised more red flags. right now, her only thought was;

                                                nosy.                     

     ‘ i’m not supposed to talk to strangers. ’  

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winteryasha:

Her answer was good enough, he knew he was a bit outdated and for now, he accepted that. Even if she explained there was no guarantee he’d even remember if 3 hours from now, plus it was apparent that she didn’t feel like explaining it either. It was probably in their own best interest to leave it at that. “Singular-minded.” Bucky let that sink in, churn around in his mind like laundry in a washing machine. “Might seem that way, and at times it is accurate but not completely, unresponsive, yes, I know what I want and how to do it, I don’t need input, and ‘extreme caution’ might actually be an understatement. You’re lucky I didn’t put a bullet in your head the minute I saw you.” He gave a shrug, glancing at the slight person beside him. “You might have like that though, extra jewelry and all.” he smirked. “Assassinations, probably true, can’t remember enough to argue it. I guess the American thing’s good though, they haven’t totally fucked me up beyond recognition.”

“Been a soldier long before Hydra got to me, can’t take it outta me now.” That garnered a chuckle, in spite of it all, he would always love the military. “But if you ever want thrilling tales of World Wars, I’ve got a million. Creep like you seems like they’d enjoy tales of destruction on a global scale.”

“I know they will. I’m surprised you’re alone. S.W.A.T. teams are almost too easy to disable. A lone weirdo with no sense of self-preservation just hanging around my motel is a different situation. Even spies want to live to see another day, then there’s you.” he looked Jason over again for a moment as they reached the end of the alley before he turned. “Good call on their part, I faltered at that one, sure as shit won’t happen again though.” A few more yards and he was stopping in front of a door to  the bar that was situated in a strip of other businesses that were all dark and the doors caged at this time of night. The bar was barely labeled the only things indicating it was still open was the twang of bad country music coming from inside and the fluorescent signs in the window touting the shitty domestic beer that could be purchased inside. “Only about a century, you do something enough and it becomes more second nature than blinking.” 

Prolonged social interaction tended to bring the worst out in Jason; it wasn’t like talking to a patient, which was controlled-- scripted, EASY, or talking to a suspect (though technically, Barnes could have been classified into either if she thought about it) which was at the very least primarily focused on manipulation. Not small talk-- and certainly not comfort. She studied his face, trying to gauge his reaction; confusion, surprise--- something she could work with? Not really. 

Maybe a hint of self-loathing. 

“Lead makes me break out.” she quipped in return, releasing her lip ring from between her teeth as she continued. “There are several governments that would simply pay to have your head on a platter-- the United States seems to have an investment in their own. Or at the very least nostalgia.” 

“The world is always being destroyed on a global scale, it’s nothing new. But sometimes it can be prevented.” Jason banked on that, she placed her expertise on individual cases of destruction, in the hope that perhaps, they superseded the former, in Barnes’s case? The two seemed almost inexplicably intertwined, “It might be interesting to get an account from someone who isn’t drunk at the bar.” 

“I find that the less you want to see tomorrow the more the world is determined to show it to you-- consider it survival instinct.” She glanced up at him. “Besides, you’re not even the first. I once tracked down an escaped mental patient, a serial killer. He liked to drown little girls in the lake outside his house.” She stepped over a fallen trashcan as they wound around another corner. Jason tried not to roll her eyes at the generic, hole in the wall, obscenity before them, she added one thing before pulling up the fake ID she’d been provided, “Anything can become second nature.”

Ready or Not

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For half a second, she considered trying to explain it before scrubbing a hand through her hair and letting it go, “Yeah, an internet thing.” she’d never been cut out for tech support, and this was why. Explaining things was never something she had a lot of patience for, “They said that you were singular-minded, unresponsive to attempts at reason, and to approach with extreme caution.” she’d already thrown that one out the window, “It’s all just words and theories-- they have you pinned for a few political assassinations, enough to cause a ruckus.”

Jason shrugged loosely, she would have said the same to anyone, really. Maybe that was a personal problem, but it didn’t have anything to do with Barnes, “Internet thing,” she sighed, fluttering a hand uselessly to try to direct the conversation into a more productive channel, “Well, you still sound American, I don’t know if that is a good thing.”

She had to fight the very obvious groan at the other’s statement, leaning backwards until she caught herself on her heels, “And now I’ve got you going,” it was at least a lighter topic then the present, she supposed-- though to him, it must have felt like just years ago. That had to be fucked up. 

“You seem to be operating under the assumption that they won’t send anyone else after you,” she raised an eyebrow at him, crossing her arms over her chest, “I think that that counts.” ethics weren’t exactly Jason’s strong suit either, but she was the daughter of a mobster, after all, so she understood debt. Jason was generally calm walking through the alley, stepping around rubbish and ducking a bit for an occasional low hanging ladder, “Yeah, and getting people to put down their weapons is mine.” She snorted, “You are a hobo who murders people.”

Ready or Not

“The fuck is a Google search? Is that an internet thing?” Being frozen and brain-washed made it difficult to keep up with the times. At least he knew what the internet was. “So what did the files say? Never saw them myself, they’re probably either exaggerated or omitting some unpleasant details, maybe both.” The Soldier acted nonplussed but he was very curious what was written about him because he knew so little of what happened to him under Hydra’s command. Certain things came back but so much more was missing. 

“Working knowledge.” he actually chuckled because it sounded so… cold, so removed, so Hydra, like her was just another piece of complex machinery to be analyzed and understood. “Duolingo? I know you’re French but speak some fucking English to me, Christ.” He continued on in silence for a moment before answering. “Yeah, long time ago, I doubt if I sound the same anymore.” he didn’t know well enough to know the difference.

“If there’s one thing I know, which isn’t much, it’s that there’s always time for war stories. I grew up on an army base until my parents died. Even after that for a while. No social services, no one cared if I missed middle school altogether. War stories though, that’s all a lot of them had. Damn good ones too. Great War, mustard gas and bayonets and skinned Germans. They were interesting, to say the least.” That got him talking. War and battle, tactical and missions, that was the only thing he could remember clearly. Only thing he remotely enjoyed discussing. 

“Is there a damn difference? People say they can taste the difference but fuck that, cola is cola.” he rolled his eyes because he indeed was a beggar and had no interest in being a ‘chooser’. “I don’t think saving me from yourself is actively saving me but who am I to lecture on ethics?” Ethics were his worst enemy right now, right up there with Hydra, Shield and the feds. Fuck them all. “If you did read my files as you said you have, you would know ‘pointing guns in people’s faces’ is my bread and butter. What the hell did you expect? Rose petals on a bed and mood music on radio?” he kept walking, taking the alley towards the dim street lights up the road. There was a bar about a block around the corner from there. “Yeah, saw the Red Skull face to face. Actual guy with skin burned off his face so it looked like he was just eyes in a red skull. That was creepy but you are a tad creepier. Especially in that hat. You look like a hobo who murders people.”

[notapatient-blog]

Melanie Martinez “Crybaby” Album Starters

Crybaby

“You take things so hard and then you fall apart”

“You try to explain but before you can start those cry baby tears come out of the dark.”

“Your heart’s too big for your body”

“They call you cry baby but you don’t fucking care”

“You’re all on your own and you lost all your friends”

“You told yourself that it’s not you, it’s them”

“You’re one of a kind and no one understands”

Dollhouse

“When you walk away, is when we really play”

“You don’t hear me when I say, ‘Mom, please wake up. Dad’s with a slut’.”

“No one ever listens, this wallpaper glistens”

“Don’t let them see what goes down in the kitchen.”

“I see things that nobody else sees.”

“Everyone thinks that we’re perfect. Please don’t let them look through the curtains.”

“When you turn your back she pulls out a flask.”

Sippy Cup

“Blood still stains when the sheets are washed”

“Kids are still depressed when you dress them up”

“He doesn’t think I’m that fucking dumb does he?”

“You call that ass your own, we call that silicone”

“if they give you a new pill then you will buy it”

“If they say to kill yourself, then you will try it”

“All the makeup in the world, won’t make you less insecure”

“You got weights in your pockets, when you go to the doctor's”

Carousel

“Will I catch up to love? I could never tell, I know,”

“Chasing after you is like a fairytale"

“And it’s all fun and games, 'til somebody falls in love,”

“There’s no turning back now”

“We’re a freakshow”

Alphabet Boy

“You build me up like building blocks just so you can bring me down”

“You’ll never catch me cry”

“I say fuck your degree”

“I’m not a little kid now”

“You think you’re smarter than me with all your bad poetry”

Soap

“I think I just remembered something”

“I’m tired of being careful”

“Uh-oh, there it goes, I said too much”

“I feel it coming out my throat”

“Guess I better wash my mouth out with soap”

“God I wish I never spoke”

“Think I got myself in trouble so I fill the bath with bubbles”

“Threw a toaster in the bathtub”

Training Wheels

“I carry band-aids on me now”

“Promise I won’t push you straight to the dirt”

“You call me fucking dumb for the stupid shit I do”

“Telling you things you already know”

“Wanna make you mine, but that’s hard to say”

Pity Party

“Tell me why the hell no one is here”

“Tell me what to do to make it all feel better”

“Maybe it’s a cruel joke on me”

“It’s my party and I’ll cry if I want to”

“I’ll cry until the candles burn down this place”

“I’m laughing, I’m crying. It feels like I’m dying.”

Tag, You’re It

“I’ll cut you up and make you dinner”

“Running through the parking lot. He chased me and he wouldn’t stop”

“Grabbed my hand and pushed me down. Took the words right out my mouth”

“Can anybody hear me? I’m hidden under ground”

“If she screams, don’t let her go”

“Your mother said to pick the very best girl and I am”

Milk And Cookies

“I’m fucking crazy, need my prescription filled”

“Do you like my cookies? They’re made just for you. A little bit of sugar, but lots of poison, too”

“Shit behind the curtain that I’m sick of sugarcoatin'”

“Next time you’re alone, think twice when you grab the phone”

“Can’t take it anymore”

“I’ll sing you a lullaby where you die in the end”

Pacify Her

“That basic bitch leaves finally. Now I can take her man”

“But was he yours, if he wanted me so bad?”

“You don’t love her”

“I can’t stand her whining”

Mrs. Potato Head

“Just be sure to read the warning, kids”

“Don’t be dramatic it’s only some plastic”

“No one will love you if you’re unattractive”

“Will a pretty face make it better?”

“Do you swear you’ll stay forever?”

“Baby soft skin turns into leather”

Mad Hatter

“Popping balloons with guns”

“We paint white roses red, each shade from a different person’s head”

“I’m peeling the skin off my face 'cause I really hate being safe”

“I’m nuts, baby, I’m mad”

“You think I’m psycho, you think I’m gone”

“Tell the psychiatrist something is wrong”

“So what if I’m crazy? The best people are”

[notapatient-blog]

-pats face because you are a precious bb and don't deserve to be punched- :3

ooc:

I am Satan. 

Shush you you sweet heart.

[notapatient-blog]

( Your character is one of the coolest things I have ever seen. Ahhhhhhhhhhh. )

ooc:

This is so sweet I’m always surprised when people like my emotionally disturbed bab. But thank you!!!I put a lot of work into this asshole.

[notapatient-blog]

;;outoftheasylum

Okay I’m literally so bored. Someone should bug me and Jason. Like this for a starter, send me a meme, punch me in the face idgaf

[notapatient-blog]

Send me a ✯ for a compliment from my muse.