notatwar

[notatwar]

Our boy @Sotades’ head is in trouble. You probably think he’s going to court. Nope, if he can’t get it up, he uses his tongue. #whatapussy

— M.Valerius Martialis (@NotatWar) May 1, 2014

[notatwar]

6.26

Periclitatur capite Sotades noster. Reum putatis esse Sotaden? Non est. Arrigere desit posse Sotades: lingit.

  Literal Translation:

Our Sotades’ head is in danger Do you think that Stoades is a culprit? He is not. Should Sotades fail to be able to get an erection: he licks. 

[notatwar]

Had an amazing night with that girl. Do I get her perfume? Maybe a dress or some cash? She rolled over and just asked for wine #dasmyboo

— M.Valerius Martialis (@NotatWar) May 1, 2014

[notatwar]

12.65

The gorgeous Phyllis spent the entire night with me, and fulfilled every one of my fantasies. In the morning, as I was thinking about how I could repay her— Perhaps with designer perfume, or Spanish cloth, or golden coins— She threw her arms around my neck, fawning over me like those nuptial doves, and just asked for a jug of wine. 

[notatwar]

12.65

Formosa Phyllis nocte cum mihi tota Se praestitisset omnibus modis largam, Et cogitarem mane quod darem munus, Utrumne Cosmi, Nicerotis an libram, An Baeticarum pondus acre lanarum,              5 An de moneta Caesaris decem flavos: Amplexa collum basioque tam longo Blandita, quam sunt nuptiae columbarum, Rogare coepit Phyllis amphoram vini.

Literal: Beautiful Phyllis, with me the whole night handed herself over, lavish, in all the ways and I was thinking in the morning what gift I could give, Whether a pound of Cosmus’ or Nicerotis’ (perfumes) or a sharp weight of Baeticarian (Spanish) wool, or ten yellow coins of the emperor: She embraced [my] neck and flattered [me] with a long kiss like those of nuptial doves Phyllis began to ask for an amphora of wine.

[notatwar]

Wherever you go, there’s a cloud of floral and spices. I wouldn’t take that as a compliment—even my dog smells good with that much cologne.

— M.Valerius Martialis (@NotatWar) May 1, 2014

[notatwar]

When I said, “What a lovely pear,” you giggled like a child. Look, I’ll continue to call the fruit, a pear, and you can just grow a pair.

— M.Valerius Martialis (@NotatWar) April 30, 2014

[notatwar]

1.65

Cum dixi ficus, rides quasi barbara uerba       et dici ficos, Caeciliane, iubes. Dicemus ficus, quas scimus in arbore nasci,      dicemus ficos, Caeciliane, tuos.

  Literal Translation:

When I said “ficus,” you laughed as if it was a barbarous word and, Caecillianus, you demand I say “ficos.” We shall call “ficus,” which we know is produced in a tree, Caecillianus, we shall call yours “ficos.”

*Ficus, -i (first declension) means "fig," whereas Ficus, -us (fourth declension) refers to a hemorrhoid. 

[notatwar]

Sure, @Postumus’ kisses are sweet and his scent is never sour. He always smells so nice it makes me think: smelling that good can’t be good.

— M.Valerius Martialis (@NotatWar)

May 1, 2014

[notatwar]

.@Dasius really knows how to count his bathers. He asked that chick with the massive tits for 3 times the price, and the bitch paid it!

— M.Valerius Martialis (@NotatWar)

May 1, 2014

[notatwar]

.@Lesbia, you always want me hard. But a cock’s not a finger. Tease me all you want, there’s one thing working against you. #butterface

— M.Valerius Martialis (@NotatWar)

May 1, 2014

[notatwar]

Look, even if rain soaks the vine, you can’t tell me this water is wine.

— M.Valerius Martialis (@NotatWar) May 1, 2014

[notatwar]

You think he reeks of booze from last night? You’re wrong. @Acerra is #daydrinking all day every day. #onemandarty #whataloser

— M.Valerius Martialis (@NotatWar)

May 1, 2014

[notatwar]

5.58

  Cras te uicturum, cras dicis, Postume, semper:      dic mihi, cras istud, Postume, quando uenit? Quam longe cras istud! ubi est? aut unde petendum?      Numquid apud Parthos Armeniosque latet? Iam cras istud habet Priami uel Nestoris annos.              5      Cras istud quanti, dic mihi, possit emi? Cras uiues? Hodie iam uiuere, Postume, serum est:      ille sapit quisquis, Postume, uixit heri.

Literal Translation:

You say that you will live tomorrow, Postumus, always tomorrow: Tell me, Psotumus, when will that tomorrow of yours come? How far off is that tomorrow! Where is it? Or from where does it attack? Surely it is not hidden among the Parthians and Armenians? That tomorrow of yours already has the years of Priam or Nestor. Tell me, for how much would it be able to be bought? Do you live tomorrow? Even today, Postumus, is too late to live: Postumus, that one understands who lived yesterday.

[notatwar]

You say you’ll do it tomorrow, always tomorrow. When’s that tomorrow? Even today is too late. The smart ones did it yesterday. #finalsweek

— M.Valerius Martialis (@NotatWar)

April 30, 2014

[notatwar]

Hello!

First, and obviously, thank you for taking time to read this! Hopefully you’ll have some fun with this last workshop. I will say now, you’re free to skip this letter and come back to it later if you wish, i tend to ramble. 

I have always been frustrated by overly academic translations of Latin literature—translators seem to get away with lots of “translatese” in the name of academia. But I wanted to knock the Latin language off its pedestal and give it a fair shot at accessing our contemporary English, and there was no better person to start with than the epigrammist Martial, who’s wit and snark could have been said by an insult artist today. In this vein, I have translated some of Martial’s epigrams into tweets, accompanied by a more “conventional” literary translation.

Why Tweets? Much of Martial’s humor in the Latin lies in the unexpected contrast between the highly formal structure of his epigrams with the lowly or crass subject matter. Other translators have used iambic pentameter, heroic couplets, or other rhyme schemes and meters to translate his epigrams. Some have done well in these modes, but often times the irony is lost. English meter doesn’t quite substitute for the quantitative meters used in Latin, rhyme is out of place and unwarranted.

So I began to brainstorm ways in which witty people communicate their thoughts today, and Twitter seemed an obvious choice. People rarely ever pick up a book of Oscar Wilde’s witticisms to pass the time, but rather they’re constantly scrolling through various apps on their phones. We’re more accustomed to reading a couple tweets while we wait on line, quickly “like” a friend’s clever status. The tweet, constrained by 140 characters and with its own conventions of @-replies and hashtags, was just limiting enough and familiar enough that it feels comparable to Martial’s use of Latin meter; it incites both comfort and shock. We are no longer constrained by the square of stone on which to carve a dedication, but by the bits and bytes that transmit our texts and tweets. 

I want Martial’s epigrams to retain their “bite.” They seem pleasant and conventional, until the last line when he turns it around. At his best, you can’t quite tell if he’s served a compliment or an insult. He’s that friend who says something with a smile on his face, and it’s not until after you’ve walked away that you realize he wasn’t very nice. But he’s just so clever, and his “internet presence” (anthology of epigrams) is just so well crafted you can’t help but hitting “like” every time one comes up on your newsfeed.

There are two ways you can read my translations. First, there is a tumblr blog, which you can play around with and explore. (http://notatwar.tumblr.com/) Everything is organized in “hashtags” at the bottom of the posts. You can view all the posts from “#twitter” or you can click on the number of the epigram “#2.12” to see a new page with all the information linked to that poem. The tumblr is a recent idea, so it is not as full as I’d like it to be, but all the material relevant to the workshop is on there. Also, if you happen to have a tumblr and wish to comment or respond in that way, feel free! Second, I have attached a PDF of all the material if you’d like something to print out and take notes on, or if you have limited access to the internet.

I am currently most concerned about finding the right register for the translations. As you will probably note, the translations vary quite a bit from grammatically correct to low-brow contemporary “slang.” Which moments work and when do I start sounding like your dad trying to use the internet?  Also, if you have any feedback about the digital media I’ve decided to use, I’d love to hear it. 

Thanks, and have fun playing around!

Hillary 

[notatwar]

Translation is far removed from being the deaf, inert equation of two dead tongues. Translation is, among all communicative modes, the one most concerned to mark the ripening process in a foreign language and the pulse of changing life in its own.

Benjamin, Walter."The Task of the Translator," trans. James Hynd and E. M. Valk, 1968. Translation—Theory and Practice: a historical reader, ed. Weissbort and Eystensson, 301.