notbrucewayne48 - Tumblr blog

[notbrucewayne48]

innocent children starved to death because Israel is blocking aid:

how are these pictures even real? how can people look at these pictures and not die on the inside? inhumane. the conditions they’re living in, the pain they’re going through is simply inhumane. no words at all. 💔

[notbrucewayne48]

i do.

[notbrucewayne48]

Bothering the beast

[notbrucewayne48]

[notbrucewayne48]

listened to Bohemian Rhapsody today… i’m so very sorry

[notbrucewayne48]

[notbrucewayne48]

Those people who constantly reblog your stuff but you never really talk:

[notbrucewayne48]

[notbrucewayne48]

a very rainbow-y kris

[notbrucewayne48]

miscellaneous little guys

[notbrucewayne48]

What are the chances we get Ralsei as our adversary in future chapters

[notbrucewayne48]

“ You’re a good type of scary “

[notbrucewayne48]

Flowey: NOOOO! STOP! YOURE SUPPOSED TO OBEY ME

The six human Testosterone bottles:

[notbrucewayne48]

Bothering the beast

[notbrucewayne48]

New Crow Time 🐦‍⬛🦊🌟

[notbrucewayne48]

A short story of an aroace friend's POV

Bright lights, lively music, and people with their friends and/or partners. It is the end of a long school year and everyone want to quickly forget about school work. A party to celebrate the last day of highschool. A last for many of us here.

A last for me and you too.

I do not let it show on my face. The bitter sweet feeling. Although, it's mostly bitter.

But... You're smiling, happy. You look back to me when I don't catch up with your excited gait. You were looking forward to this night. So I could not say no when asked.

I love your smile, did you know? I put effort to ensure to be partly credited to that smile this time... So, won't you smile at me a bit longer?

....

I smile slightly back, nonchalant after my pause to stare and monologue for a bit. You notice that I've been absent-minded. You ask, and I say I'm fine.

I cut myself off from straying thoughts. I could not afford to miss the smile that I won't be able to see again. Especially after I put much effort to make you smile.

I focus on the now and here.

Before I noticed, you have hooked our arms. You were always excitable so you end up hooking your arm with mine to pull me along.

Smiling and laughing, all care-free.

Like always.

Back then too.

I wish we could stay like this.

How hard I tried to.

.......

Before...

I wonder if you knew, if you would ever know, how I truly felt.

One morning, we walked to school together like any other. Matching your pace despite my impatience with everyone else.

We continue to chat on the way. Conversation continue to flow until you stopped and stared. I stopped as well, confused.

I sometimes wished I walked on, faster and uncaring, maybe drag you away as well.

I didn't think that would be the start of the end.

I asked, curious. You seemed to be staring at someone, in a gaze that I could not comprehend. And, well there is a someone just in front of us, a someone behind us and a someone on the side.

Back then, I didn't think that someone in particular would be the one... You would choose.

......

I remembered.

That one time. Or rather, multiple times.

Why?

We used to chat and welcome all sorts of topics. From the philosophical to nonsensical... When did it to turn to talking about... That person.

You gushed about them, all useless details to me. I listened, despite uninterested. I listened patiently like I always did, but this time, I didn't like the topic. Yet I did not say. Ah, how unfortunate to be an introvert at that moment.

I apologised in my heart many times for thinking that way.

I guess that's when I started feeling bitter.

....

And oh, how more bitter I was after.

You told them... What?! I didn't know that. We were supposed to be each other's confidants, right?

They're your friend, you say? Then what about me? I only learned of the issue after.

You... Why? I didn't ask them why, it made me feel pathetic. Maybe... It's not a big thing. Maybe... I'm over reacting.

And huh, they're friends apparently... Since... I don't know.

Huh.

...

.......

Tears wet your face and I was bearing witness to that more frequently now.

Who did they cry for? For that person.

Why did you cry? Oh, you saw them with this person and that person. Oh, someone seemed to have gotten up and close with them. Oh, someone asked to be alone with them.

I sat down with you. Patiently.

I care about you. You did and do know that, right?

Really, do you really know that?

Recently, that person had been bringing you more laughter and smiles. They had become your friend, your partner-in-crime, and your confidant.... More than I had been.

Oh how I wished to had have a heart to turn you away when you needed someone when the one who hurt you was that person.

But I smiled in consolation despite feeling pierced once more with a sharp wave of disappointment and hurt—No! Stop. I would not think that way of you.

Although I will admit that I was annoyed.

As much as they give you joy, a different kind of joy than I could, they give you just as much sorrow.

........

Huh...

....

I asked you that one time.

Do you care more about them than me?

How that question came about, I couldn't remember.

Your answer... I smiled silently in response because you said it was me. Lie.

When I asked you why you cared for that person in that way a different time... You told me of a foreign but familiar feeling. It was the same feeling I had towards you yet you said it was different. Huh...

When you felt heart broken, I wondered why.

You wanted their care as well.

And I stupidly asked whether if my care wasn't enough.

You told me it wasn't the same thing again.

Huh...

I feel another pang of pain.

.....

If I helped you fulfill your want of the. , would you smile at me again? Would it relieve you? Could we be friends again since you're no longer that worried or insecure? Wait, scratch that last one. We were still friends, right?

....

Maybe we were not. Or maybe this is just me being selfish and being the insecure one.

I don't see you often in the morning to go to school anymore. When I do, they're with you...

You sat with them and visit them more frequently than me these days. And oh, he lived in the neighborhood...

You talk more animatedly too. Like what we used to do even if it was mostly you...

That... Nice.

Maybe that's simply affection I could not understand despite helping you fulfill it.

I'm happy for you... Truly....

Even if it was painfully bitter.

....

It took me a while to make the decision. And I can not lie and say that I won't have regrets... But I really don't like pain. I also hate bitterness. That's why I don't eat vegetables.

Oh... I'm zoning out from the present again.

Yes, my monologue is done.

You chuckle and playfully hit my arm. Then told me that I seemed to be more absent-minded these days like I'm not present with you most of the time.

I laugh slightly at that and my lips quirk up.

Oh, there they are. You released my arm and went to them after saying few brief words to me.

I smile, a smile that didn't reach my eyes.

Why so quick to leave me again? Oops, that came about a bit too bitter.

You're smiling atleast. Isn't that what I hoped for... Although, honestly, I know that wasn't what I truly hoped for.

Hah... It's still hurting.

...

[notbrucewayne48]

My first blogged short story awhile ago that I just thought of posting to... Idk. I guess to relieve myself of some things by turning it into embellished fiction. It was more well-received than I thought. Now this is the third. Thanks for reading. -Rei

It's Not the Same, a short story on an aroace POV

Sunny mornings, cool windy breezes and the sparse green. That was what most days were like with you, my dearest friend.

Sprawled on the ground of your small yard. Green was hard to come by sadly.

We were both young and lived like the world was a fantasy.

Although, I wished I could be in a better fantasy. With you, of course.

A cottage in the woods, surrounded by green, yellows, blues, pinks and violets. Even young, I wanted an idyllic life.

Wouldn't that be a great fantasy.

And I told you about it. Would you want to be there with me too? When we're both older and have to live in reality, let's have this piece of fantasy. Together.

Oh how happy my words made you look. Sparkly eyed youth with red tinted cheeks.

Then you held out your pinky... Oh, right. Of course I would promise.

I want to be with you even years later. And I know you feel the same way as you told me too.

...

.....

But perhaps, it wasn't exactly the same way.

...

We grew older into bigger kids though still kids and still the closest of bonds there is.

Adults say we look cute together as we continue to grow older. Mmm... I mean, I suppose? Individually we look cute, so together we're cuter. I think I understand the logic.

Or maybe I misunderstood.

... I don't know.

Hm? You seem more timid when they say that.

Everyone looked on with a knowing smile or glance.

I... Really don't understand.

...

....

And sometimes I wished I continued to stay ignorant.

But that would be unfair to you, no?

...

Getting even older. It wasn't that exciting to me, in all honesty.

I think I'm starting to get into the reality of growing older... Not that fun. Oh, how I daydreamed of our childhood fantasies when I'm bored.

I never gave up on that dream as I continue to dream it night and day. Do you still remember?

Of course you do. You would encourage and support me too. I know I will want you to be there with me.

You know, that was what I was most looking forward to in getting older. To be with you in that fantasy like I've told you many years ago.

You smiled softly at the declaration I said out loud.

Although, these days... I don't think it'll be just as I wanted. I... Don't know what it is. I don't know where is it not what I wanted.

...

....

But later, I know what it was.

....

Huh? Pardon? What did you say?

My mind stopped working. Or rather, it was working but it was working to block out the words I don't understand why I was denying. Did that make sense?

Hm... Anyway, erm, I understand what you said that you were feeling. Towards me to be exact. And I understand the context of said feelings...

Maybe I did a while ago...

If I said I don't feel the same way or rather, I never will feel the same and I never did feel the same... No, that's not an 'if'. I should say it and I did.

The eyes that looked at me fondly and with growing attraction I chose to ignore when I became aware of its nature now looked hurt. Because I hurt you with this truth.

You thought I felt the same. That I liked you... Or possibly even loved you.

And I did and still do. But... It wasn't ever the same way as you. It took me long to be aware of that.

I... I'm sorry.

...

.....

It wasn't the same ever since that day and I sometimes grieved because of that fact.

So this is reality for us, huh.

....

You looked great together.

I said that as I attended your wedding. Now those words are truly fitting.

You smiled a small smile as I did the same.

It really wasn't the same anymore. But that's not always a bad thing. If it meant that I could see you smile again and have your heart be reciprocated the same way, then it definitely isn't now.

You're still my dearest friend... No matter what.

...

.....

"Hey... So house—or rather, cottagewarming party soon?"

"Yeah. Don't be late."

...