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[notcruelarch]

@deeplyflxwed​ sent: a kiss along the curve of the spine.

Slow. Sensual. Maddy knew they had all the time in the world what with Cal, Marsha and Aaron away for the day. They each had their things but that just meant time for her and Nate to just be together. Being undressed had been a simple thing. Her clothes pooling nearby she closed her eyes as Nate moved towards her back. She didn’t know what to expect, a whole new experience between them being shared. His lips against her spine only causing her to lick her lips. Anticipation building she had to smile. This was something new for the both of them. “That feels nice,” she admitted, finally vocalizing what she liked when she was with him. “Keep going,” she knew her body had leaned in to him a bit more. Cutting the moment she turned around, colliding her lips against his showing her newfound need.

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deeplyflxwed​:

THAT WAS ALL HE NEEDED TO HEAR. Those words of confirmation dropping from his girlfriends mouth acted as a switch in his mind, the feelings of fright and anger wouldn’t dissipate in a mere hour. Nate knew that, however protective in nature, it was time to think about the future bearing in mind they were going to have a child. “𝐎𝐮𝐭𝐧𝐮𝐦𝐛𝐞𝐫 𝐦𝐞? 𝐈'𝐥𝐥 𝐩𝐢𝐜𝐤 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐛𝐨𝐭𝐡 𝐮𝐩 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐬𝐰𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐠𝐮𝐲𝐬 𝐚𝐫𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐝.” A small smile grew on his face thinking of him having the chance to play with Maddy and their kid, a chance to do things his parents never did with him.

Yet constantly thinking about giving his child things he never had did bear an emotional toll. Was he ENVIOUS of the fact his child would be better because he had suffered? A silly thought to be had, yet it was a very real feeling. His gaze raised from his lap and transgressed back to Maddy’s. One of the things he loved about her, was her ability to recognize his instant mood change. There was no hiding his feelings with Maddy, and while it was annoying at times, he loved it very much so. “𝐈'𝐦 𝐠𝐨𝐧𝐧𝐚 𝐝𝐨 𝐦𝐲 𝐛𝐞𝐬𝐭— 𝐟𝐚𝐢𝐥𝐮𝐫𝐞 𝐢𝐬𝐧'𝐭 𝐚𝐧 𝐨𝐩𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬.” Nate knew he’d never forgive himself if he ever did fail their child. “𝐇𝐞𝐫𝐞'𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐧𝐞𝐱𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐠𝐡… 𝐡𝐨𝐰 𝐝𝐨 𝐰𝐞 𝐭𝐞𝐥𝐥 𝐦𝐲 𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐬?” Simply put, there was no way to tell Cal and Marsha without them being upset. Imagining the cruel things Marsha would say about Maddy behind her back, he could already hear an argument erupting in the foyer of the house. “𝐈 𝐰𝐨𝐧'𝐭 𝐥𝐞𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐦 𝐭𝐞𝐥𝐥 𝐦𝐞 𝐰𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐭𝐨 𝐝𝐨.” Said quieter, as if there was some doubt in his voice. Truth be told, saying no to his parents was hard to do. Even for Maddy. “𝐀𝐧𝐝 𝐈 𝐝𝐨𝐧'𝐭 𝐰𝐚𝐧𝐭 𝐚𝐧𝐲 𝐟𝐮𝐜𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐚𝐫𝐠𝐮𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐟𝐫𝐨𝐦 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐭𝐨 𝐌𝐚𝐫𝐬𝐡𝐚. 𝐍𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠, 𝐝𝐨 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐮𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐧𝐝?”

Nate’s smile brought out one of her own as she thought of how they could be as a family. Not only would they be better, and more stable than her parents but they would be more affectionate and caring than his parents. His thought of what he could do to the two of them causing her to move closer to him. “Yeah, right.” She teased even if she did know that Nate worked out so much. He already lifted her easily. Would that change with her growing belly? She kissed his cheek, keeping him close. “You’d let us win anyway.” 

Tender touch to his cheek she shook her head, the mood shifting to a more serious tone. “Since when do you fail?” She knew Nate’s track record and believed in him more than he did some days. She wanted to give him some confidence with her words, her own stomach dropping with the question. How would they tell his parents. Her parents would of course be something else but less of a worry to her. “We just... tell them.” She knew this was huge but it wasn’t like they would be thrilled of the news no matter when it came. Marsha wouldn’t have accepted her even years down the road. Maddy’s touch continued, “yeah, okay. As long as she doesn’t try to convince you or-” she paused. She knew what some people would say against her. Was he sure that this was his, that maddy was just trying to trap him, that she was ruining his life, that she was doing this on purpose. She closed her eyes and shook her head. She swallowed and shook her head. “Nothing.” Maddy’s body leaning into his more. “We love you.” She used the collective we, already including their baby into her words. “If you say your mom and your dad aren’t going to change your mind or tell you what to do then I believe you.” 

[notcruelarch]

I want to wear his initial on a chain 'round my neck Chain 'round my neck Not because he owns me But 'cause he really knows me Which is more than they can say

Taylor Swift

[notcruelarch]

deeplyflxwed​:

IT DIDN’T END THERE. Nate had no intention on giving their kid away, but Maddy had suggested it in the first place. Kicking his legs up onto his bed, he laid there staring at the ceiling as if it were going to give him the answer to all of this. For the lord of him, he couldn’t understand why she kept using my in a possessive manner. As if they haven’t both made the decisions that led up to them being here. As much as he wanted to ignore it, he couldn’t simply let that slip past him.

“𝚂𝚝𝚘𝚙 𝚒𝚝.” Peering over to her side of the bed, Nate looked far from impressed “𝚂𝚝𝚘𝚙 𝚜𝚊𝚢𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚖𝚢 𝚋𝚊𝚋𝚢, 𝚒𝚝'𝚜 𝚗𝚘𝚝 𝚢𝚘𝚞𝚛 𝚋𝚊𝚋𝚢. 𝙸𝚝'𝚜 𝚖𝚢 𝚋𝚊𝚋𝚢 𝚝𝚘𝚘, 𝚒𝚝'𝚜 𝚘𝚞𝚛 𝚋𝚊𝚋𝚢.” At least he tried not to disturb the slight peace they have found, his tone a little quieter as if he was actually mindful of how Maddy was feeling. He was, and her next statement really hit hard. They had both fucked up, and it was a mistake they’d both be scolded for. The words she said next however, were incredibly empowering and encouraging. An opportunity to be better than their parents, an opportunity to show them how to do it correctly. “𝚂𝚘 𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚝'𝚜 𝚒𝚝 𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚗? 𝚆𝚎'𝚛𝚎 𝚍𝚘𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚜?” A flat palm moved around her belly in a comforting manner, a small smile grew on his face at the thought. “𝙸 𝚑𝚘𝚙𝚎 𝚒𝚝'𝚜 𝚊 𝚋𝚘𝚢, 𝙸 𝚊𝚕𝚠𝚊𝚢𝚜 𝚠𝚘𝚗𝚍𝚎𝚛𝚎𝚍 𝚠𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝚊 𝚖𝚒𝚗𝚒-𝚖𝚎 𝚠𝚘𝚞𝚕𝚍 𝚋𝚎 𝚕𝚒𝚔𝚎 𝚒𝚏 𝚑𝚎 𝚗𝚎𝚟𝚎𝚛 𝚠𝚎𝚗𝚝 𝚝𝚑𝚛𝚘𝚞𝚐𝚑 𝚊𝚗𝚢 𝚘𝚏 𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚜 𝚋𝚞𝚕𝚕𝚜𝚑𝚒𝚝.”

Maddy was going to get defensive, say she was going to leave just because of the beginning of his sentence. Her nerves already prepared for him to say that it shouldn’t be a baby or that it wasn’t a baby or any other thing that would have made her break. She didn’t want this to be the tipping point of their relationship, the one thing that broke them when really it was something they both wanted down the road. It wasn’t until he said the word our that she relaxed. Her body dropping its shoulders she finally let herself believe that they were in this together, that they were a team. It wasn’t as if she could help how protective she was of what was already changing her. She wasn’t thinking about the next week’s party or about anything other than their child’s safety now. 

Curling into him she placed her hands against his chest. She still was nervous and of course stressed on whether her body could go through all the changes of becoming a mother. She wasn’t sure if she could go through the scrutiny of high school with being the one that was pregnant during her senior year, but this was more than that. It was more than just the snickers and jeers she would eventually get as a teen mom. “We’re doing this.” She repeated Nate’s words, her stomach fluttering now that he was getting used to the thought of touching her. “What if I want a girl?” She teased, her cheek resting against him. “Just so that we can both outnumber you.” She was joking of course. The idea of there being another Nate in the world something that caused her heart to soften. A Nate who wasn’t ruined by Cal, someone who was going to be protected by her, a little boy who would learn that there was more to life than just being guarded pressured and molded into being perfect. Maddy’s heart softening. “Hey,” she needed his attention. “I wouldn’t-” she stopped as she shook her head. “I wouldn’t be doing this with anyone but you. All that bullshit you went through. It made you who I love more than anything.” She placed her hand on his cheek. “You’re going to be a great dad whether this baby is a boy or girl.” 

[notcruelarch]

NATHAN & HALEY season 07 episode 1

[notcruelarch]

VIDA (2018) — Episode 12

[notcruelarch]

deeplyflxwed​:

SCARED. “I get it, were in this together.” It was an emotion that Nate understood very well— frighteningly well actually. Rarely had there been a time the emotion didn’t cross his mind, it could be used to explain the entirety of his childhood. Even now when he felt as if it were his DUTY to protect Maddy and what he was sure would eventually be their CHILD, the emotion haunted him. Hanging over his head as if it were the grim reaper trying to bait him into making decisions that would be catastrophic to the course of his life. However that wasn’t exactly what he was worried about right now. Especially not after the blasphemous suggestion Maddy had just pitched.

ADOPTION? “No. I’m not giving some random family my kid.” Nate had already made a promise to himself, that he’d be the father and parent that his never were. “That would make me worse than them.” Admitting with a subtle tone of hatred, and that’s how he sounded nowadays when speaking about his parents. Marsha hadn’t bothered him so much, as much as he disliked her. Cal, however? He was getting on his last nerves and it wouldn’t be much longer until Nate acted on that. “Why would you want to do that? I’d rather go through the struggle of raising the kid.” He’d never forgive himself putting his own blood into a foster system for which he knew failed almost every child that had ever entered it. However, there was another option that didn’t involve subjecting their child to mental torture. “What if we give it to someone in my family? That way we know they’ll atl east take care of them…” Either way, Nate knew giving their child up was going to be difficult. He could imagine the baby already being taken out of Maddy’s hands, the sobbing he was sure he’d hear. Even if his suggestion was hypocritical, it made more sense to him.

As scared as she was, in the small time she had to process that she was pregnant she already was protective over this child. She could see her life being a mom, she wasn’t going to be a spectator in her child’s life. “No.” She already shook her head. “I’m not going to see someone else fuck up our kid from a distance.” She felt her throat tighten. “I’m not going to be able to see someone else with our baby and act like everything is okay.” She didn’t care that it wasn’t going to be someone random family. Maddy had seen enough of Nate’s family to know that his family was probably more fucked up than he was willing to admit. For the sake of preventing another part of an argument she didn’t mention that. 

They already weren’t seeing eye to eye. She knew they could do this. Things could work out, as stupid and optimistic as that was. “I’m not giving your family my baby.” Her word changing from the shared to her possessive. She touched her stomach, nothing there that would raise suspicion yet. Taking Nate’s hand she rested it on her own skin. “We’re in this together,” she echoed his words. “This is the two of us and yeah, we fucked up.” She let those words sink in. “But this happened because we love each other.” Sometimes she loved him to the point of madness, willing to ruin herself for his love. “We can be better than they were.” 

[notcruelarch]

 @fezdispenser​   sent: [  STRADDLE ] ― my muse sits down in your muses’ lap. (only reverse bc i don’t think she wants him sitting on her lap lmao)

This movie wasn’t even interesting, sure it had action but really it was all for the sake of saying it was an action movie. There was no real suspense. Her hands wandered to Fez’s already showing her distraction. Meaningless shapes not taking his attention off the movie. She almost audibly groaned, knowing that he wasn’t getting her many hints. She was faced with one of two options that she could see, but one was more direct. One included just taking him on the couch where his brother could walk in on them. Sparing his brother the trauma she instead moved quickly, straddling Fez with a weighted drop against him. Pressure going to his lap she figured this was still direct but not as terrible as her other option. Lips going to his neck she was cautious, her feelings not wanting to get hurt if he continued looking at the screen. “Pay attention to me.” 

[notcruelarch]

[notcruelarch]

Dev Patel and Radhika Apte in The Wedding Guest (2018), dir. Michael Winterbottom

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sarah bahbah

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Forugh Farrokhzad, tr. by Sholeh Wolpé, from “On Loving”, Sin: Selected Poems

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Christina Lauren, Love and Other Words

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JORDAN BAKER & LAYLA KEATING ALL AMERICAN | 4.18 Came Back For You