nothingtheepilogues

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to accomodate for budget cuts all items will have a 50% higher grist cost, or 5000% if your name is tavros crocker.

gotta fund all this some way or other

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john notes his big eyes in the epilogues, and trolls also have huge eyes

though in hsbc he looks like he has relatively normal sized eyes (compared to jade for example)

unless he actually has the type of glasses that make his eyes seem smaller instead of larger

Homestuck theory: I think it's possible Tavros isn't fully human.

tldr: I think Tavros is a purpleblood and Gamzee is his third biological parent.

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should i unpin the pinned post

the guy it’s riffing off is gone now it’s just a big text wall

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due to budget cuts the denizens have been replaced with the leftover experimental deltritan species (because cool kids recycle), and mr strider will offer players the choice personally via pesterchum.

this will not affect the game too much, since practically nobody ends up meeting their guy onscreen in this comic

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due to budget cuts dirk can't afford a planet per kid.

they will be allocated one (1) landmass of size equivalent to a medium-prosperity european city each, which may be a forest, mountainous valley, town or large grotto.

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they’ve spent so long building up deltritus that at this point there’s no way they’re just blowing it up immediately

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spent ages developing the laziest possible art style for this blog in the background and i still haven’t had time to use it because of exams smh

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if tumblr goes down I’m not migrating this one to neocities or whatever it is people end up using. that will be the death of nothingtheepilogues.

i’ll have to start sending bullshit to the homestuck anonymous bastards like an dork

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if they made a tavvy crocker funko pop they’d have to make his eyes bigger to compensate for the fact that he already has funko pop eyes

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re: tavros nitram they're probably going to release him as a triple drop with the rest of team charge

it'd be funny to do a double tavros nitram-crocker drop but lets be real the nexus of people who want tavvy plushies and have space in their budget for one is at best nine to twelve people.

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#i know its gonna be some shit like gamzee and nepeta or something

i had those guys in the second category; my personal release predictions go as follows

karkat, john+vriska, dave+terezi, rose+kanaya, jade+gamzee(?)

nepeta+equius, aradia+tavros+sollux, feferi+eridan, jake+jane, roxy+dirk, meenah+aranea, callilope+caliborn. maybe jack, but specifically as becnoir.

then beyond that point any other characters wouldn't sell well enough to turn a profit in a million years, so thats when they'd stop.

ok so there are some characters who are a shoe-in for merch.

there are others who are a shoe in for merch once the others already have merch

who comes next?

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ok so there are some characters who are a shoe-in for merch.

there are others who are a shoe in for merch once the others already have merch

who comes next?

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aradia megido watches cave diving videos online and uses her powers as the ultimate maid of time to teleport in and freak out the cavers

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while the hiatus is kind of annoying it is kind of nice to be able to queue a bunch of stuff without worrying about it aging poorly because of an update before it posts

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there's no denying that tavros crocker's hair is constantly reinvented in fanart: the combination of inconsistency of description between the epilogues and the prologue, inconsistent design within the prologue, variation within extracanonical material and the in-universe hair change at the end of act 1 (which we may not have had a clear enough look at yet!) has led to constant interpretation of the mop growing out of his head.

on top of this, the simplistic shape of his original coiffure led to many designs adding details or completely changing the style! as a result many, many versions are being used in different artworks.

and so, as with all things of which there are multiple, there is only one obvious course of action:

rank them in a tier list! i have collated intepretations of his hair that i have seen, and through a rigorous process of arbitrary pairwise comparison i have determined:

A) which haircuts are the best in general, and

B) which haircuts gel (fit) best with him personally, split into pre and post (YOU ARE COMING) 'dos

this was almost an ashby plot, but when i looked into it i realised that would be a pain in the ass

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regardless of how you feel about postcanon it’s very cool how the open ended nature of homestuck canon encourages people to flex their creative muscles and write their own alternative continuations

hell, a few of them are almost readable! (/j)

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i should’ve asked about these in the reddit ama