nothoughtsjustwritingstuff

[nothoughtsjustwritingstuff]

This is just a small little vent

I cannot be a persons support system. I cannot be the one that keeps your life going. I am young and immature and completely not fit for it at all.

I cannot provide the help you need. I cannot be your support system.

please don’t force me to be that, since it is ultimately something I cannot do. It is something I am unable to do.

I need to take care of myself first, although I know you have it worse than me. I know you’re all alone, but I thought you would’ve been okay. When I left, you had someone else, we were a trio with you being in the focus. But that’s all gone away somehow in the time I was gone. I know you have it worse but please I can’t provide the support you need. please reach out to professionals.

Please get proper help. although I cannot be that help I wholeheartedly hope you get better. it hurts me to see you like this. But again I cannot be your support system. I’ll break down.

So please, please I’m begging you. Get proper help. Lift yourself up just a little bit.

[nothoughtsjustwritingstuff]

Who will love me

Who will love me

If I act the way I do

Who will love me 

If I continue doing it wrong

Who will love me 

If I don’t love myself

Nobody will

[nothoughtsjustwritingstuff]

If I kill myself

If I kill myself

Will the world pay attention

Will I be remembered 

Or will I just be a distant memory gradually forgotten by those who knew me

If I kill myself

Will my family move on

Will they move out my stuff to renovate the new open space?

Or will my room be left, frozen in time from when I was there

If I kill myself

Would the world be a better place

Would I open up space for those that will achieve greater things

Greater things than what I would ever be able to do

If I kill myself

Could I finally be free?

Could I finally let go of my feelings

Or will I be forced to relive my wrongs 

If I kill myself, would it be the right choice?

[nothoughtsjustwritingstuff]

Losers

Everyone’s a loser deep down

Everyone’s afraid of doing wrong

Of accidentally messing everything up

Everyone’s a loser 

We all enjoy different things 

And we all gush about our interest to our friends

Everyone’s a loser

It’s just that some people are better at hiding it

Fitting into what we say is the norm

What we know won’t stand out 

Hiding our real selves behind the hope that no one will discover that we’re losers

Those who hide might actually be the biggest losers

Everyone’s a loser

Losers will be losers 

And there’s no changing that