notsodeepthoughts

[notsodeepthoughts]

Get your free crack pipe!

So the federal government is now getting into the drug paraphernalia business. The only problem is, the profit margin is pretty low.  They are giving away free crack pipes.  When I read this, I honestly thought it was an Onion article.  I shouldn’t be surprised, I know.

When I read about the $30 million program that gives grants to state and local governments to distribute free crack pipes to crack users to provide a “safe” alternative to homemade pipes, I laughed.  So we are trying to make crack “safe” now??  Yeah, this will make it very safe.

So, I don’t smoke crack, but if I did.....and if the police raided my seedy apartment.....and they found this free government crack pipe....could they charge me with possession of drug paraphernalia?  And if they did, could I argue entrapment?

And what about the hardworking store owners who scratch out a meager living selling crack pipes alongside bongs, roach clips, incense and black light posters?  Who is going to buy a crack pipe from these guys when the government is handing them out for free?  Is the government going to bail these small businesses out when the crack pipe market goes to hell?

This is a stupid idea, but I did enjoy the laugh.  Can we admit the war on drugs is over and we lost?  I can’t wait to read the follow up article that reports that the crack pipes are made in China.  Then five years from now, the television commercials saying “Did you or a loved one use a government crack pipe and suffer injury, illness, or death?”  SMH

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Backing In

It may be painting with a broad brush to say, “people that back into parking spaces are narcissists who care nothing about other people and give no thought to wasting the time of the people sitting in the cars behind them.”  

There are some cases where backing into a parking space may be necessary....if you are a pizza delivery person and you are parking at the pizza place between deliveries......if you are a police officer parking at the police station......or if you are Batman. 

But if you are a person who is visiting a mall, grocery store, or parking deck, just pull into the parking spot like a normal person.  The rest of us don’t want to wait behind you while you slooooooowly back into that space, and we may get a little impatient if you have to pull forward and try it again because you don’t even know how to do it, dumbass.  

The vast majority of people who back into parking spaces don’t know how to do it properly and need at least two attempts, sometimes three.  Come on, you self-entitled jerk....the rest of us have things to do too.  

I have no issue with people who pull through a space into the next space, which gives the same result as backing in.  Why?  Because I don’t have to wait on them while they do it.  I can go on about my business, and they can still pull out instead of backing out.

So what do I do when some idiot throws his car into reverse to back into a parking spot at the grocery store?  I simply go around them.  This forces THEM to wait on ME to pass before they execute their narcissistic maneuver.  Yeah, it pisses them off, and to be honest......that makes it more enjoyable for me.  It’s even better when there are a couple of cars behind me and they go around him too.  That is rare, but it sometimes happens.  And we all just laugh and laugh and laugh.

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Bust a Move

Your best friend Harry has a brother Larry In five days from now he's gonna marry He's hopin' you can make it there if you can 'Cause in the ceremony you'll be the best man

1. If Harry is your best friend, and Larry is his brother....why are you the best man at Larry’s wedding?  Doesn’t Larry have a best friend?

2. If Larry doesn’t have a best friend, why isn’t his brother, Harry, the best man? Do they not get along?

3. If you are the best man, how could Larry be “hopin’ you can make it there if you can”?  If you can???  You’re the best man!!!  You HAVE to make it there whether you can or not.  Don’t leave Larry hanging on his wedding day....and check your libido when you roll to the church in your new tuxedo.

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Before I die.....I MUST go to this place.  It is essential.

Edinburgh, Scotland (@travellingthroughtheworld)

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. by Is quack quack enough? on Flickr.

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These look so good.  Did you make any for everyone else?  These are mine.

By mag_gypsy

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True true true

sometimes what didn't work out for you really worked out for you.

read it again.

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cadaques by Liivia Sirola via Flickr please don’t remove credit, add/promote your blog, or claim as your own

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Retirement

I am nearing early retirement.  It confounds me that some people ask me what I’m going to “do”, or if I will “get bored”.  No.....I will most certainly not get bored, and what if I do?  Maybe after 36 years of non-stop working I might like to be bored for a change.  When did doing nothing become a bad thing?

Our society has become a go, go, go society where doing nothing is a crime.  Our vacations are shorter than most industrialized countries, and they are frequently interrupted by work because we make ourselves indispensable out of some sense of job security.  Spoiler alert, there is no job security.  We are all dispensable, and even interchangeable.  

Did you ever know or work with anyone from Europe?  Those people know how to take vacations....sometimes a month at a time.  And good luck finding them when they are on vacation....because you won’t.

What will I do when I retire?  There are many things I don’t do now because I don’t have the time.  Maybe I’ll do those things.  Maybe I’ll do nothing.  Maybe I’ll do nothing for a while and then do all of those things.  But I know what I won’t be doing.....working.  Because I’ve done that my entire adult life and, frankly, I’m tired.

So don’t worry about me, my friends.....I’ll be just fine when I retire.  Just fine.

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“Normal”

I am convinced that 99.99% of our unhappiness is the result of comparing ourselves to others or comparing our lives to “normal”.  Society has developed a “normal life” model and timeline to get there.....and conditioned us to be unhappy if we don’t measure up to either one.  And now, some meaningless song lyrics that mean a lot to me:

“I understand about indecision, and I don’t care if I get behind....people living in competition, all I want is to have my peace of mind”

“Lately I have seen a different side of me, I don’t know where I have gone.  I’m killing friend and foe, somebody tell me so I’ll know, whose side I am on.  Like a cat stuck in a tree, gotta jump and I’ll be free....maybe the ground will break my fall.  Lately I’ve been lost, gotta find me an albatross to lead me back into my port of call......gotta get my stuff and go, gotta leave and free my soul”

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The Wisdom of Zevon Pt 3

“The phone don’t ring, and the sun refused to shine.  I never thought I’d have to pay so dearly for what was already mine......”

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Optimism

The older I get, the more I find optimism is a bit overrated. The battlefield of life is littered with the bodies of optimists who always see the good in everything and everyone. The truth is, everything isn't good.  Everyone isn't good. Everything doesn't “happen for a reason”.   Sometimes things just happen

The people who are happiest are those who deal with what is in front of them and then forget about it. Dwelling on past or future problems is just stress. Those who compartmentalize their stress have the least of it. It doesn't mean everything will work itself out....we still have to work it out. But there is no script for life, no set schedule. 

People compare themselves to others and that is always a bad idea no matter who you are. You're alive, you have a place to sleep and people who love you. Anything else is far less important. Keep working at it and don't get so stressed that you forget to enjoy life when you can.   Basically.....you're fine and you'll be fine. “You're good enough, you're smart enough, and doggone it.....people LOVE you”.

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He’s afraid of thunderstorms, so I bought him a little house.  I put it next to the couch because that is where he goes to hide during a storm.  He seems to like it.

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🤎more quotes on my blog🤎

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Dogs

If you are lucky enough to share your home (and everything else) with a dog, or more than one dog as in my case; have you ever really thought about what you are to them?  My dogs are very important to me....they are part of the family.  But I was thinking today about what I am to them.  Well, I am the CENTER of their world.  They follow me around the house, and they lay for hours in my office while I work.  They depend on me for food, water, and (many) trips outside every day.  When I play with them, they reward me with entertainment and a laugh, every time.

They protect me, or at least they think they do.  They are shih tzus so I don’t really know how much protecting they are doing.  But I do know that no one will sneak in my house without me knowing.  If anyone approaches our door, we know it instantly.  I’ve noticed, if I am in a room, they will always position themselves between me and the door.  They often lay in the doorway and face toward outside the room....ever vigilant.  If anyone ever attacked me, that evil person very well may kill me....but he or she would limp home with bloody ankles and know they had been in a fight with two vicious predators whose job is to protect me and our home.

When I take them out, they get excited like they have never been out before.  They dance around and wrestle each other to be first in line for the leash.  This is the highlight of their day, even though it happens every few hours.  If I stop to talk with a neighbor, they lay in the grass and enjoy the day.  We should all be more like that.

When I leave the house without them, they sit at the bottom of the stairs by the door until I come back.  And what a reunion it is when I come through the door. They jump on me and tell me (in their own way) that they were concerned that I may never come back.  If I’m gone ten minutes or two hours, it’s always the same.  Sometimes I come back and there is evidence of play.  It might be a magazine torn to shreds, a couch pillow on the floor, or a potted plant knocked over.  But I don’t mind.....that makes me feel better than thinking of them sitting by the door waiting on me.

I often remind myself that I am everything to these wonderful little creatures.  To be needed and loved so unconditionally is probably why people love dogs so much.  I don’t spend enough time with them.....there is never enough time.  But I do spend time with them every day, because it means the world to them.  

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The Wisdom of Zevon Pt 2

“If California slides into the ocean, like the mystics and statistics say it will....I predict this motel will be standing until I pay my bill.”

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The wisdom of Zevon

“I’m still waking up in the morning with shaking hands.  I’m just trying to find a girl who understands me....but except in dreams we’re never really free”