notyourcaptainspeaking

[notyourcaptainspeaking]

i need BOYS NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[notyourcaptainspeaking]

Has anyone else noticed that they do this?

[notyourcaptainspeaking]

my birding sin is not being able to tell apart eastern bluebirds and scrub jays. they're not even similar fuck my life

[notyourcaptainspeaking]

lame ass gadgetjob

[notyourcaptainspeaking]

I go to the grocery store, heading straight for the dairy section. Positioning myself in the middle of the milk shelf, I let out one single long, wailing, cheese-curdling scream. Every single carton of fresh dairy product within hearing distance has now been rendered undrinkable. The poor worker whose only task this shift was to keep me out of the store and most importantly away from the dairy at all costs is fired on the spot. I do not linger to bear witness to the grief and destruction I have caused. Knowing that I caused it is enough.

These petty, pointless acts of meaningless evil are the reason that I will not see the kingdom of heaven.

[notyourcaptainspeaking]

@hotguysfugue @szethsmom

A picture a friend sent me from Erewhon

[notyourcaptainspeaking]

You know

[notyourcaptainspeaking]

Saying "we are clean on OPSEC" while accidentally leaking war plans to a reporter is objectively pretty funny.

[notyourcaptainspeaking]

Gray Catbird by Kristy Brig, ML609429271

[notyourcaptainspeaking]

[notyourcaptainspeaking]

[notyourcaptainspeaking]

Double breasted cormorant

[notyourcaptainspeaking]

this is a strange ask but do you know of any that smell like a shipwreck? like an old wooden boat shipwreck specifically ^^;

hey. hold up

i went to go do research and

diving suit? diving suit note? diving suit note???

[notyourcaptainspeaking]

Your quality of life will increase ten-fold when you learn to appreciate the sight of a little bird