nouriyx - Tumblr blog

[nouriyx]

indulgent softer yhk AU where life still isn't perfect but they're all so so small and best friends and total weirdos together <3

[nouriyx]

realistic modern au

[nouriyx]

Hey, can we talk about the fact that one of kdj's biggest traumas is indisputably the way the publishing of his mother's book affected his life. He felt powerless and on display, and it severely hurt his ability to connect with other people.

But honestly, if I saw that book at a bookstore, I would have picked it up and read it and thought wow im so glad she was able to tell her story. I would have fallen into the trap lsk sets, and never thought deeper about how it happened. And this book was said to be really inspiring and the way the other prison women stands up for lsk you can see they sympathize with her story and maybe there were plenty of women who felt seen and heard from that story.

Its popularity meant a decent amount of money was made off of it that went straight to kdj's cousins pocket. Everyone profited from this novel in some way, everyone but kdj. (That's why he's the fool that has never dreamed of his own happiness, he can't picture it, it's always been everyone except him.)

So tell me why, kimcom + everyone writing orv and collecting the pieces they knew of him and spreading them out, not to one universe like his mother, but the eternal ever-multiplying universes and that is what saves him.

The exact same action, both born out of love and despair. One ruined him, and the other brought him home.

[nouriyx]

if you die again, i’ll kill you

[nouriyx]

hey there *yurifies your yaoi*

based on this textpost by @dip-the-stick

[nouriyx]

It's funny how Ivan was canonically popular in the Anakt Garden, having many friends, suitors, and people who looked up to him. I wonder what his peers thought whenever Ivan pulled his weird shit everytime Till was in his vicinity. The Anakt Kit states that Ivan is very mature for his age yet seems to turn childish when he's around Till, often bickering and pulling his hair, stealing his attention like a little kid. Back then I thought Ivan would be the type to hide his feelings (I mean, he's still kind of hiding his true feelings) from other people, but he seems openly smitten with Till. Imagine the mature and responsible valedictorian of your class immediately converting into a freakishly lovesick little shit at the sight of the weird troublesome art kid.

[nouriyx]

I can't stop thinking about the scene where Ivan finds Till and nuzzles his head against his. He was on that banquet for the same reason as Till, most likely went through the same treatment with the only difference being that he doesn't fight it so it will be less painful (but it isn't really)

So i think he not only felt bad about Till but for both of them. I've seen a lot of takes that say he didn't kiss Till because Till was unconscious and he knew that it was wrong after what Till went through, but i think a kiss didn't even occur to him.

He got out of that banquet and immediately looked for Till, perhaps out of just worry but i think he needs that human comfort as well.

His eyes were glassy the moment he looked at Till, he was keeping it together until he saw him.

And then he just... holds him close

[nouriyx]

if vivinos won't animate them happy, i will 🤧

[nouriyx]

losing my shit on how till literally never looks at ivan unless theyre actively fighting, like even in the flashback

and then during the song its the same thing

all ivan wants is for till to acknowledge him, just to look at him for even one second, give him a second thought- but he cant even do that

so then ivan does the fucking makout/choking sacrifice thing- "oh isnt he a hypocrite for getting mad at sua for doing the same thing?" no, because he was mad at sua because she knew what she would do would hurt mizi because she loved her.

ivan doesnt think sacrificing himself will hurt till, because till will never love him. HE KNOWS THIS AND YET HE STILL SACRIFICES HIMSELF FOR SOMEONE HE THINKS WILL NEVER LOVE HIM

AND EVEN NOW TILL WONT LOOK AT HIM

and then once he's certain till is safe, he gives him one last, real, selfish kiss

a last ditch admission of his love before

till finally looks at him, just too late

IM LOSING MY GODDAMN MIND GUYS ISTG

[nouriyx]

Character Musings: Sweet Dream Cafe

- Hyuna’s worked at the cafe the longest, followed by Sua and Ivan. Mizi and Till were hired pretty recently. Till was a regular and came mostly to see Mizi until a part-time position opened up.

- Ironically, Mizi was also a regular and snatched a position because she desperately wanted to get to know Sua better.

- Although Sua is not allowed to pick favorites, she spoke to Mizi a couple of times while taking her order (more so than with any other customer). In fact, she was the one who subtly mentioned that they would be needing more employees soon.

- After they get to know each other better and exchange numbers, Sua and Mizi always prepare for work together and arrive to the cafe as a pair.

- Yes, Mizi purses her lips several times a day when somebody is cozying up to Sua and Till (bless his soul) somehow deducts that Mizi is jealous of all the attention Sua is getting. (And blubbers out several compliments that fly right over Mizi’s head.)

- Because Sua and Ivan have been working together for some time, Mizi tries (and fails) to bribe him for information about Sua’s background or her likes and dislikes. Each time, Ivan gives her a pat on the head and sends her off to figure it out herself.

- Till and Ivan never met before, but Ivan’s been heading to the same bar where Till does his gigs since the start of college. After the first performance, he couldn’t bring himself to stop coming. So, to him, having to work with Till is like a dream come true.

- Him and Till often exchanged banter at the counter before they started getting friendly. Afterwards, Till would find himself inviting Ivan to hang out after work so he can complain about his day. Then he’d invite him to the bar, where it’s revealed that Ivan is a regular. And then he’d ask him to come to the gigs. Even though Ivan developed a crush that he believes would stay unrequited, he enthusiastically supports Till in any way he can.

- Ivan suggested to Till he wears a dress for a day so he could catch Mizi’s attention. It was both a piece of legitimate advice and a guilty pleasure. Miraculously, Till did it; Mizi said he looked adorable and Ivan got his wish. They took a group photo to commemorate the occasion.

- Ivan also encouraged Mizi to come with him to the bar to see one of Till’s performances. (And then Sua tagged along.)

- Hyuna and Ivan are practically security. They keep a close eye on all the employees and make sure nobody’s getting harassed. And if anyone asks, you don’t talk about that one time Hyuna literally dragged someone out by the back of their collar. (She keeps saying it was embarrassing, but it was actually very hardcore.)

- Hyuna goes on smoke breaks in her maid outfit and it is the coolest fucking thing you’ll ever see.

[nouriyx]

The 2 states im in 😴

[nouriyx]

Part 6-8 of the IvanTill actor au! :D I'm glad people enjoyed this little self-indulgent story! I want to doodle more things for this now that it's finished.

[nouriyx]

yet another way that you and i align:

we just can't help but love the stars.

[nouriyx]

Can I pleeease chew you like a squeaky toy

[nouriyx]

uhmm i haven't been seeing a lot of discussion about till aside from his relationships with other competitors and i think it's something that must be addressed because i think among the competitors he's the anomaly.

unlike his peers, Till is nothing special. Ivan is beautiful and talented and so is Mizi, and they're both treated as valuable things by their alien owners because of it. You can see this in the way Ivan's constantly surrounded by attention and food and Mizi's pampered lifestyle pre-alien stage.

but then you get to Till and he's literally just strapped to a medical table. Mizi and Ivan's "foster family" treat them with some degree of humanity, even if it's in the way that humans now treat their beloved house cats. If that's the case, Till's treated as a mildly interesting lab rat.

His owners go lengths to further dehumanize him, and you can see that from the way he's so often muzzled when no one else is. They also quite literally brand him !!

This type of dehumanization in my opinion is also something that contributes to Till's aggressive behavior, because he is constantly in the circumstances that force him to do so.

Till is neither too attractive or too talented at singing, and I'm pretty sure he knows this --- that's why he relied so heavily on the element of gruesome surprise during his first round.

It's also worth mentioning that his unhealthy attachment to the idea of Mizi as some kind of saving grace also reflects on his own perception of himself, as some sinner in need of saving. Whenever he imagines Mizi in the Round 6 video, he is someone tainted in the colors of his captors (red) and sweaty, whereas Mizi is bright and glowing.

He didn't expect to live past round 6, I think that's made pretty clear. His expression isn't one of someone who expects to live (especially when Mizi is now either dead or gone). His expression is of someone defeated.

Another thing about Till is that he felt alone. Ivan loves him, we knows this, but Till doesn't. The few instances we see through Ivan's eyes, his kindness towards Till is either from somewhere Till can't see or when he's unconscious. The only time we see them interact where Till is aware of what's going on is when they're fighting as kids, and their one escape attempt.

As far as I know, Till has nothing to go off of in recent times. The only time that he's touched is by alien captors and scientists, both who see him as less than human. It's easy to be beat down and dehumanized when there is no one around you to humanize you.

No other competitor, from what we've seen, is treated as awfully as Till is treated. His idealization of Mizi stems from delusion, and there is no indication to him now that his ex-best friend Ivan still gives a shit about him.

That changes after the 6th Round though, and Till is so well set up to be a character who gets his entire worldview shattered, with Ivan's final show of affection and Mizi's disconnect from the one he has in his head (symbolized by her cut hair).

Till, a hotheaded human who is nothing special but lived on until the final round through the idealization of one competitor and the sacrifice of another ... the silliest of all time

[nouriyx]

the mark you leave behind.

[nouriyx]

An unstoppable force meets an immovable object.