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novaupdates · 2 years

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2: Diane...?

My emotions have been so polarizing lately. I find myself getting irritated by the tiniest things, probably as an (unconscious) effort to entertain myself- as I don’t have much really going on at the moment. I mean- I DO, but I don’t. Being alone can be so sad and so scary but also refreshing. I don’t know if I have ever had to spend this much time just with myself, without distractions. It’s very hard, but I’m hopeful that it will pay off. In recent news, I started school up again. I’m going to Minnesota next weekend, which I am excited for. I just got back from Washington and it was an amazing experience.

The first full day that we were there (in Washington) was my birthday (!!!). I got the chance to drag my parents around the Snoqualmie area to see a few of the Twin Peaks sites.

This is what I recorded in my journal that day:

“9:30 PST AM

We ate at Bacco. I had biscuits & gravy with scrambled eggs & bacon and earl grey tea.

11:00 PST AM

We went to Snoqualmie Falls (our first Twin Peaks site). It was beautiful - so many pretty trees and yummy wild berries! After we drove through the city of Snoqualmie and saw the Centennial Log.

1:00 PST PM

We ate at Twede’s Cafe (The RR Diner) for lunch. I had a slice of cherry pie and a “damn fine cup of coffee” (that’s literally what they called it on their menu lol). The pie was delicious; the cup of coffee was just… fine.

2:00 PST PM

We happened upon Reinig (Ronette Pulaski’s) Bridge and walked across. It was chilling.

2:30 PST PM

We visited the Dirtfish racing school - home of what once was the Twin Peaks sheriff department. They were very kind and even let me sit at the front desk! The receptionist turned on the Twin Peaks theme and it truly made my day. They even had a Twin Peaks Bronco outside of the school!

Also- the sawmill was right across the street! A lot of it has actually burned down, but it was neat to see.

3:30 PST PM

Our last Twin Peaks stop was The Roadhouse with the “Book-house” (the book house boys), which was essentially just a shed, next door.”

It was a beautiful and slightly disorienting experience.

We went to an Italian restaurant for dinner and I had lasagna.

The next day we met up with my parents’ college friends in Olympia. They had the most beautiful backyard. It was filled with blackberries. There was a river below, if you could manage to walk through the thorny bushes (I could not). Their house was very neat and very carefully decorated, with interesting paintings covering their walls. We went out into the ocean on a boat to see the Orcas, but unfortunately we had missed them. We caught a glimpse of some sea porpoises and Mount Rainer, which were both beautiful.

On the last day we travelled Seattle and met up with my uncle. We went to Pike’s market. On the way there we passed the gum wall (ew). We rode the big ferris wheel on the pier, which made me a little queasy. After, we went to the MoPop. My favorite part was the section dedicated to horror movies. There were costumes and props from The Thing, Halloween, Nightmare on Elm St, Friday the 13th, The Shining, and more. Then we went to this cool Taiwanese restaurant and I tried soup dumplings for the first time. They were very good.

In other news:

- I watched the entire scream franchise for the first time

- My therapist is really good and I like her

- I have written a lot of music lately!

- I watched Drop Dead Gorgeous on an airplane and enjoyed it very much

I hope you are well. I miss you all very much. If you took the time to read this, thank you. Don’t hesitate to reach out if you want to talk:)

<3 - Nova

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novaupdates · 2 years

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1: We have a lot of catching up to do...

Honestly, I’m unsure of where to start. I feel as if my brain has blocked out quite a few large chunks of these past few, quite chaotic, months. Over a year ago was, undoubtedly, the beginning of my mental health downfall. Yes, I was struggling prior to that, but this was something else. I had a strong lack of self worth. I was paranoid that nobody in my life loved me, because I couldn’t understand how anyone would or could. The point is, I’m doing a lot better now. I’m not quite where I envisioned myself turning 21; living in Dallas, out of my parents house, but I’m okay with it and that’s what matters. I think I might take some community college classes this upcoming semester. I still would really like to pursue a career in Social Work. I’m nervous-excited to start school again. I think it will be good for me. I’m beginning to find more security in being alone; not to say I’m isolating myself, I’m not. Maybe I’m just becoming more independent; I’m not sure.

After I left Austin in April, I went to a residential treatment center in Tennessee. There were ups and downs, but overall I’m glad I went- mostly because I met some friends that are pretty important to me. I did a lot of art while I was there: clay, jewelry-making, even some hand-sewing (I made my friend a stuffed animal made of his sweat-pants and my green winter gloves. It looked very…. handmade). We had a therapy group there called “Forest Immersion” which was my favorite; the contents were basically that of the name. 1-2 times a week we could try to get on the list to do animal therapy, where we got to go to a farm and play with the animals. The sheep were my favorite. Of course we also had processing and dbt and all those other not-so-fun types of therapy, that are necessary...

After the residential program I moved to North Dakota. I was not ready to move anywhere. I was there for about a week and honestly that’s all I want to say about that.

Now I’m back in DFW. I’ve been doing quite a bit of therapy and AA meetings. I have a sponsor now and she’s very sweet. I’ll be here for awhile. I miss my friends a lot. I don’t have many here, but I’m okay. It just makes seeing people extra special. I painted and redecorated my room recently- which made me happy. I bought some plants too! Bug, my cat, killed my pothos and monstera in Austin so I bought those and an elephant ear plant from home depot :).

In upcoming news: I’m going to Washington for my birthday and that will be fun. I’m going to try to see where Twin Peaks was filmed and eat at the RR (Double R) Diner (now known as the Twede’s Cafe- I think… correct me if I’m wrong).

Life is pulling itself back together- slowly but surely. I miss everyone. I hope to see you all soon, but in the meantime- know I love you and I’m always here to talk :)

<3 - Nova

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