novelempath

[novelempath]

i dont know exactly how to articulate this in a way other people havent but everything is too fast now. 24/7 news cycle, online focuses that last for hours instead of months or years, songs written just so ten seconds can go viral. movies and books churned out to meet some nebulous income quota. idk. im motion sick

[novelempath]

dark green is a nice color. underrated

[novelempath]

friendly reminder that if i have ever befriended you and have not spoken to you in a while it’s nothing you’ve done wrong it’s just because i’m a piece of shit at keeping in contact with people and i still love you okay good

[novelempath]

nothing is real and then all of a sudden everything is very real with no warning

[novelempath]

yeah i’m high on thc. The Human Condition

[novelempath]

when recipes have a entire final step that just says "serve".

[novelempath]

I’ve been looking through The Digital Transgender Archive again and found somethings from the Femmes Unite! #2 zine (published in 2007) that I felt validated by. I saved several clippings, but here’s one:

[Text Description: Our femme community here in Portland is so big and as you might imagine, we’re all very different folks. We’ve got fatties, anarchists, bottoms, tops, switches, dykes, fags, mtfs, ftms, lesbians, survivors, punks, midwesterners, southerners, college grads, high school drop outs, radicals, indoor and outdoor femmes … the list could go on forever. If there’s anything we’re learned, it’s that femme is not a singular restrictive box to fit ourselves into. Being femme is only part of who each of us are. (Just glance at the biography pages and you’ll see what we mean!) In this zine we tried to address some of our other identities and how they overlap with the glamour and strength of our femmeness. We hope that you can see some of yourself here and that it sparks exciting thought and discussion. Love and sensible shoes, Femme Affinity Group Porland. /End Descrption]

[novelempath]

thinking about middle aged gay love is like. we have a future and we have time

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[novelempath]

Need the ocean to wash my brain smooth like sea glass

[novelempath]

my writing ability currently feels on par with that of like…. a seven year old. i’m just writing one sentence. then another sentence. subject verb object, dependent clause period. do any of them relate? unclear. that is for god to decide. i certainly can’t.

[novelempath]

SCHITT’S CREEK (2015-2020)

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i post for the girls who were lonely and isolated during peak social developmental years

[novelempath]

shout out to everyone who participated in the january-february mass depressive episode

[novelempath]

the best advice i have for any trans dudes out there who are feeling shitty/dysphoric about not being able to achieve believable masculinity is to just....look at guys.

close out of social media, close out of those "gender envy" photosets, purge the idealized 6'2 chiseled abs square jaw image of peak masculinity out of your mind and just look at real men in your daily life.

i will always be under 6 ft. but you know who else will also always be under 6 ft? the delivery guy who dropped off a package at my office today. he was the same height as me.

sometimes my voice can sound high pitched. but you know who also has a high pitched voice? the guy who stood in front of me at the sandwich shop.

my facial hair is patchy. but you know who also has patchy facial hair? like....so many men. especially men who only just started growing facial hair like me.

there are dudes everywhere, and there are plenty of dudes who have features like yours who won't immediately get clocked as "not cis".

when your scope begins and ends at the media you consume, or the images you see plastered on screens or on magazine covers, you're going to get a warped understanding of what's expected of you, and you're always going to fall short if you make that your only criteria for transitioning "properly".

transitioning is second puberty. and just like how cis teenage girls need to stop comparing themselves to photoshopped runway models and cis teenage boys need to stop comparing themselves to the covers of fitness magazines, you also need to stop comparing yourself to unrealistic standards in much the same way.

however you decide to define masculinity for yourself or however masculinity happens to look for you, there's a man out there who also fits that description.

you're transitioning fine.

(note: i'm writing this about trans men bc that's the only perspective i know. but if any trans women have any perspectives they'd like to share, i'd love to hear it)