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nowhere-to-run04 · 12 days ago

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A Very Long and Tedious Psychoanalysis of James Buchanan “Bucky” Barnes

James Buchanan Barnes ⭐:

D.O.B: 3/10/1917

This psychoanalysis will be divided up by movie/era. 1). Because it’s my analysis and I say so. 2). Because it is easiest for me to gather the information as it is given in the movies. His personal stuff isn’t super affected by the MCU’s timeline nonsense, so it can be pretty easily followed and reshuffled easily. It’s my hyperfixation and I get to dictate the parameters I operate within.

Era: FATWS Bucky

- HERE WE GO BABYYYYYYYY

- the first instance we see of Bucky in this era is in a nightmare <3

- the nightmare relives one of his previous ventures as the Winter Soldier, not exactly unexpected for everything the man’s been through

|-> each moment in the dream feels like something we’d expect to see from the Winter Soldier in action. He’s silent, efficient, and dangerous with the horror movie monster sound design to back it up. Muzzled too with the silver arm.

- he neutralizes any obstacles and eventually strangles his target when something INTERESTING happens

- the Winter Soldier speaks. Just two words: Hail HYDRA. And this is fucking odd.

|-> in the entire time we see him active as the Winter Soldier, those two words have never left his mouth. He is either entirely silent or speaking short sentences to further the mission. And even when his brain was being crispied or his trigger words were read, all that he answered was ready to comply. Hail HYDRA has been used almost exclusively by members of HYDRA with free will. People that chose to join them. It’s been established that Bucky remembers everyone who he’s killed while under and that he does have a fuzzy idea of his actions during. But this feels important because of that specific phrase: Hail HYDRA. This nightmare shows us that Bucky continues to feel complicit in his actions as the Winter Soldier. He feels that he chose this in some way and that guilt of everything he’s done runs deep. (obviously we know that he didn’t choose this but trauma do be silly goofy like that)

- and then something catches his attention. A bystander who saw all this happen. Someone innocent, and the Winter Soldier takes him out because he could compromise his mission.

|-> remember this bystander for later, ESPECIALLY BECAUSE OF THE BACKGROUND TRACK “NIGHTMARES”

- Bucky wakes up from the nightmare. He’s in his apartment, illuminated by the light of the TV still on. He’s also sleeping on the floor with his dog tags.

|-> what this scrumptious little instance tells us harps way back to CA:TWS. Sam in his introduction is chatting with Steve, both military men, about the difficulty in sleeping in their own beds back home again. Everything feels too soft, like you’ll just keep falling into the mattress. Not exactly an uncommon occurrence for people adjusting to civilian life. From this, we can imply two things: 1) that Bucky is in some way, shape, or form a civilian now. Or at least closer to it. 2) that he is still constantly on edge. He’s struggling like Sam and Steve with his hypervigilance and doesn’t know what to do now/how to get there. His hackles are raised and not likely to relax anytime soon. You can take the man out of the war, but not the war out of the man.

- and then we cut to the present of babygirl in therapy with Dr. Raynor

- he’s been kind of dissociating when she gains his attention back, asking him for the second time if he’s still having nightmares

- he lies and says no. So he clearly doesn’t trust this therapist or at least isn’t willing to be open with her. She calls his ass on it, saying they’ve been doing this long enough to where she can tell that he’s lying. Not that he’s exactly subtle.

- they continue talking and we learn that while he is a civilian now, it’s not quite the same as just leaving the military. The government is keeping a HEAVY watch on him, with the mandated therapy being a condition of his pardon (for you know, all the war crimes he did).

- she continues trying to get him to tell her about the nightmare, doesn’t work, so then we get the notebooooook

|-> in his response to the notebook, we see shades of who he was before everything that happened to him. He’s being snarky, rolling his eyes, etc. He’s got more personality coming back, but it’s still kind of hidden behind a wall of standoffishness. Almost discouraging people from trying to get to know him, therapist included.

- he then tells her about the name he crossed off his list of amends the previous day

|-> the list of amends seems to be at a cross-section between government mandated and therapist advised. Essentially he has a list of names in a small book of people he either helped (in accordance with HYDRA’s goals) or affected as the Winter Soldier. He has three rules to follow in these efforts.

can’t do anything illegal

nobody gets hurt

he has to state: “I am James Bucky Barnes. I am no longer the Winter Soldier and you are a part of my effort to make amends” cue smile

|-> the woman used as an example, Senator Atwood, was a HYDRA pawn for years. After it fell apart she continued to abuse power given through his actions. He provided intel to the “aide” to convict her and followed Raynor’s rules to do it. Maybe another condition of his pardon, maybe not, but it seems like something odd for a therapist to recommend. Not that this couldn’t theoretically help him, but I don’t necessarily follow the logic in it. So it’s interesting.

- she asks if the amend helped with his nightmares, he doubles down on the “it didn’t happen” front. Still really disinterested in telling her shit.

- Raynor tells him that one day he’s going to have to open up and understand that some people really do want to help him and that they can be trusted. Clocked his ass.

- Bucky claims that he does, in fact, trust people. (biggest fucking lie I’ve ever heard, but sure) Raynor then asks to see his phone and he hands it to her.

|-> we then learn that he has very few phone numbers saved and that the only person he has called in the past week was Raynor. HOWEVER, he has also been ignoring texts from Sam. This is noteworthy because their relationship has been polite at best. They both were friends with, loyal to, and believed in Steve, but they didn’t really care for each other. The fact that Sam has been trying to reach out shows how kind/good of a character he is, but it also shows that maybe he sees Bucky differently than he did in CA:CW. Raynor explicitly says that he has to nurture friendships, insinuating that while they may not be buddy-buddy yet, they could be getting along. A hesitant friendship almost, because of the forces that brought it to be.

- she flat out tells him that he is alone with no family/little history and that he has to work to build relationships with other people

|-> her approach with him in this instance isn’t necessarily being mean just to be mean. It is true, isolating himself is only hurting him. She’s trying to tough love his ass into being better. However, that kind of approach tends to actually move people into action when it’s coming from someone that PERSONALLY cares about them. Right now, she’s kind of just an authority figure he has to deal with because of the pardon. (he also, notably, starts being more antagonistic towards HER specifically after the tough love attempt)

- this push, while not super effective in its intended goal, does get Bucky to open up a little in explanation. He’s frustrated, both with her pushing him out of his box and himself for struggling, and he tells her a little of what’s going on in his mind.

|-> everything is very new and implied to be overwhelming for him. “I didn’t have a moment to deal with everything”. It’s explicitly stated that for 90 years he has been bouncing around fighting in everyone’s wars (regardless of whether or not he wanted to be a part of it) and the only moment where he had agency to choose what he wanted was in Wakanda. Specifically, “A moment of calm”. The lack of agency over the course of his extended life had him in a constant whirlwind of forces moving him where they liked. It’s almost comparable to living in consistently stressful environments. Obviously it’s still stressful, but you get used to it in some way shape or form. You get used to treading water and then don’t notice how exhausted you are. With this silence, moment of calm, being pulled out of the water to rest, Bucky is almost more anxious. His mind went from Times Square to farmland out in the country. The silence (or calm, whatever) is unsettling for him and he doesn’t know what to do with it. The freedom to choose is terrifying him.

- Raynor actually therapies him and asks Bucky, “Now that you’ve stopped fighting, what do you want?” And he says, peace. (which she calls utter bullshit btw)

|-> in this instance, I think the underlying implication is peace for himself but I digress

- She opens up a little to him saying how she was an excellent soldier (after he called her a terrible shrink lol) and knows how seeing everything can shut you down. And that being alone with everything is a quiet and personal hell unlike anything else. How it can be incredibly hard to escape.

- She reminds him that she does sympathize and he has suffered, but he does have good things in the present. Specifically, his mind, him being pardoned, and him being free. Things to want to keep going for.

- and Bucky, in response to being free, asks “To do what?”, scene end

|-> what this entire opening scene for Bucky does is establish his mental state. He’s not doing great ngl. He is regularly having nightmares from his time as the Winter Soldier (albeit slightly altered in memory), he is veryyyyyy anxiety ridden, he does not trust people, and that he on some level wants peace for himself. He is incredibly overwhelmed with the “freedom” he’s been granted and he’s trying to find his footing. Bucky basically has to learn how to be a person with wants and desires again because he was stripped of it so deeply. He isn’t quite depressed, but he’s almost isolating himself because it’s easier/more familiar. If you’ve dug yourself into a hole, sometimes digging deeper looks like the only way to go. Raynor is trying to get him to see the light and want to pull himself out, but because she’s closer to authority figure than friend, her words fall on deaf ears. He’s hurting, basically. AND THIS IS WHERE THE SHOW FUCKING OPENS FOR HIM.

- then we get to see Bucky in his more everyday life. He’s in Brooklyn meeting up with Yori for lunch (something they do every week) when he sees him about to fist fight some dude over trash.

|-> his relationship with Yori appears very friendly and he gets him to kind of calm down from this encounter. Yori is annoyed enough from the kid that he doesn’t even want to go to lunch, until Bucky offers to pay. He agrees but doesn’t want to talk, something that is immediately forgotten in the next scene. He’s irritated, not angry.

- Bucky and Yori are eating while Yori reads the newspaper. In their chatter, they also talk on and off with the girl working there (who clearly knows them as regulars).

|-> their relationship is very much two old guys that are drinking buddies. I.e. no one making it past 90 this week, talking about pinochle, etc. Just because Bucky looks somewhere in his 30s-40s doesn’t mean that he is and he seems to have befriended someone from the older crowd. Which honestly makes a lot of sense.

- Yori tells him that he should ask out the girl working there (he saw him eyeing her) and Bucky IMMEDIATELY is like NO.

- so obviously Yori does the only rational solution and asks her on a date for him, suggesting bingo or pinochle (more old man activities).

|-> Bucky is mildly horrified that he did that and apologizes to her about him. Remember how everything is stated to be really overwhelming for him? Yeah, he’s super embarrassed Yori did this. And then she asks why he’s sorry and says that she’s down. (because look at him, me too girl)

- Yori continues to be the ultimate wingman (ha it’s a pattern) and figures out the rest of the details for the date with her. Joking about not wanting to play pinochle, Bucky then asks what’s wrong with pinochle? (he’s the rizzler guys, with Yori chiming in to go YEAH) She tells him that she’s working tomorrow night, but to stop by after around 10 and then gets back to work. Yori is insanely pleased with himself.

- after she moves away, Bucky asks him why the fuck he did that. (in nicer terms)

|-> he does clue us in to how this is making him feel, doubling down on the overwhelming/anxiety inducing. “There’s a dance to these things and I haven’t danced since 1943” type shit.

- WE THEN GET SOFT BUCKY when he sees Yori kind of looking sad and zoning out on a piece of food. He asks him what’s wrong and puts a hand on his back. (PREVIOUSLY UNHEARD OF FOR THIS TRAUMATIZED MAN)

- Yori quietly (in Japanese) mentions his son. Once he kind of pulls back into himself, he explains (in English) that he was working abroad with a consulting company and was killed. The police verdict was wrong place/wrong time, but Yori doesn’t actually know what happened. But he always felt that something about it was off. We then get focus on Bucky’s face and he seems sad/upset. CUT AWAYYYYYY

|-> few interesting things here. 1) Yori says the first bit in Japanese and doesn’t clarify who he’s talking about when he switches to English. It’s established that the Winter Soldier knows dozens of languages so that is still in Bucky to a degree. He understood it.2) The musical score is doing some heavy lifting. In the background of this short conversation there is a track called “Prelude” and/or “Pluck Up the Nerve” (maybe I’m doing my best to figure it out). It’s very subtle unless you have the volume way up. Towards the end however, it starts to lead into a familiar sting that’s louder as we focus on Bucky’s expression. The track ends as the build up into the Winter Soldier’s musical motif “Attack, Soldier!”. CLUEING US IN EARLY THAT BUCKY MAY HAVE DONE SOMETHING TO CONNECT TO THIS. This is distinctly possible because it’s been explicitly stated that Bucky remembers everyone. And maybe this is me being insane (it’s not), but even if he didn’t have some connection to Yori’s son, the Winter Soldier’s musical sting is meant to put us on edge at the end of this scene. (i hate this show <3)

- so that’s potentially devastating, anyways as i was saying

- we then get to see babygirl on a date with the girl (yayyyyyy character development)

- Bucky despite being nervous, was raised right. He may not have danced since 1943, but he does remember a thing or two. So he brings her flowers. She laughs and says that is the sweetest and most adorably old-fashioned thing someone’s ever done. As she goes to find a vase for them, he sits at the bar while they chit-chat.

- miss ma’am asks if he’s dated much since everyone came back and he answers honestly. He’s tried online dating, but it was a lot and there were many a strange picture. She jokes that he sounds a lot like her dad. She then has a moment of clarity and asks how old he is. Bucky, ever the prankster, says he’s 106 and she laughs (rightfully assuming that it was a joke). He sort of chuckles and doesn’t elaborate (SMOOTH).

- then she asks about the gloves he’s been wearing (he’s also been wearing them in each scene) since it has been distinctly nice outside. Our leading man gives the explanation of poor circulation. (sure bud)

|-> what this tiny moment tells us is that he isn’t walking around Brooklyn with the metal arm in plain sight. In addition to the gloves, we’ve also only seen him in long sleeves/jackets. While he was the Winter Soldier, he was a ghost that not everyone believed in within the community, so no one had a face to really tie to the name once it became public knowledge. What they DID have was a metal arm, a name, and long-ish brown hair. So he’s trying to prevent the public from seeing him as the Winter Soldier. His hair is distinctly short in this series (for many reasons, but mostly this one) to distance himself. The arm, however, is not so easily hidden. What would physically distance him more would be not having a metal arm in the first place and living life as an amputee. My personal two cents on this choice (story-wise) is that a missing limb draws more attention/questions than an interesting clothing choice. It could also draw pity. Bucky doesn’t seem to want to lie necessarily (i.e. just straight up telling her that he’s old as shit), but there’s only so much of the truth he can tell without dumping out the rest of the can of worms. So he makes distinct choices to tell as much of the truth as he can without trauma dumping on every person he meets. He’s protecting his squishy heart from the public’s fear while being as honest as he can.

- anywho, they start playing battleship. He’s really bad at it. She stares him down, saying that she’s trying to read his mind and he responds with “please don’t” (</3 my poor traumatized white man)

- as they play, she’s asking him pretty standard date questions. (do you have any siblings, are you close with your parents, etc.) And he’s, again, answering as honestly as he can.

- and THEN, she offers her thoughts on his hanging out with bestie Yori. She thinks it’s sweet and mentions how he’s had a hard time since his son passed. But then she just keeps going. And after a minute, he excuses himself.

|-> YOU DON’T NEED TO KEEP KICKING HIM WHILE HE’S DOWN DAMN (i think she means well it’s just tragic). But it got to be too much. Overwhelming, if you will.

- Bucky then knocks on Yori’s door. Yori is like hi bestie, whatcha doing, how was the date?

|-> which I think is interesting and lends itself to my old men who are drinking buddies theory. He could have just gone home, but chose to stop at Yori’s. I think they very much have a relationship where they don’t necessarily talk openly/easily about the horrors, but they are there for each other as a kind of silent/steady presence. A way to ground each other, almost.

- and then this show does the horrible act of confirming what was speculated earlier

- Bucky sees Yori’s shrine/memorial for his son and recognizes his face and it’s DEVASTATING for both him and me </3

- babygirl quickly tries to bury the emotion in his face and tells him the date was good. He hands him some money, saying that he forgot about owing him for lunch, and leaves. Yori seems a little confused with the way he’s acting, but just kind of closes the door and leaves it be.

- we then see Bucky’s book, with a name added to the list of amends. Y. Nakajima.

|-> this group of scenes reinforces Bucky’s trifecta of anxious, overwhelmed, and doing his fucking best. It also confirms what we’ve been building to, that his actions as the Winter Soldier have hurt someone he cares about personally. (and that he feels so fucking guilty about it because Yori’s son really was in the wrong place/wrong time and didn’t HAVE to die) 10/10 no notes. It also adds a layer to the amending that will be discussed later, just you fucking wait.

END EPISODE 1

BEGIN EPISODE 2

- let’s continue this trainwreck, shall we?

- so where we last left off, John Walker (EW) is announced as the new CaPtAiN aMeRiCa on national television. As a treat, we then get to see how our main man reacts to this news. SPOILER: not well.

|-> he is in his apartment, sitting on the ground (more solid surface mention) when he sees this being announced. Initially, his expression is somewhere between shock and disbelief. As we keep watching him, his face morphs (SEABASS IS SO GOOD AT HIS JOB) to have an undercurrent of anger. The disbelief is still there, but now it’s accompanied by something else. He is upset at there being a new Captain America. And I personally think that the choice of John Walker was 1) absolutely orchestrated beyond the reasoning given to the public (unrelated tangent) and 2) an extra gut punch for Bucky specifically. BECAUSE JOHN IS ANOTHER BLUE-EYED, BLONDE-HAIRED, WHITE MAN. To him, this feels less like a passing of the mantle and more a replacing of what was “lost”. His best friend (still debating on if he should still have that title, but whatever) gave up the shield and for him it feels like they are trying to pretend that it never happened.

- and now the girls are fighting <3

- Sam is getting ready to head out (because there is actual plot going on in the background of this messy drama) when who should appear, but his 100 year old situationship

- Bucky IMMEDIATELY calls out Sam, saying he shouldn’t have given up the shield. And Sam knew this was coming, just responding with “Good to see you too, Buck”.

|-> HE’S USING A NICKNAME. IMPLYING FAMILIARITY AND SOME LEVEL OF COMFORT WITH EACH OTHER. AND A NICKNAME THAT SPECIFICALLY ONLY STEVE (aka Captain America) WAS ALLOWED TO USE. REMEMBER THIS. What this also shows us (with a single sentence mind you) is that Bucky is either angry with or directing his anger at Sam.

- dialogue ensues and we learn that Sam did give up the shield, but he did NOT know that the government was going to do this. (which is true, when we see him give it up, it’s to a museum to keep on display) Regardless, Bucky doubles down saying that Steve didn’t want this (specifically, anyone other than Sam to carry the shield).

- Sam is very aware of how upset Bucky is with his decision, but wishes him well and tells him that he’s got other fish to fry right now. (you know, THE PLOT) Bucky (STILL MAD) tells him he had no right to give up the shield. We then see a moment of irritation with Sam. He turns and essentially tells Bucky that he is not going to run around and tell him what his rights are. That he will not make Sam’s choices for him, in a way. And that it’s over and he does really have bigger things going on right now.

- Bucky asks what could possibly be bigger than this. So naturally, Sam fills him in. Then we get a silly bit of stupid bickering as a treat.

|-> like the kind of stupid bickering you do with a brother. OR someone you care about… OOP WHO SAID THAT?

- then Sam gets on the little plane to Munich and Bucky follows him.

|-> so this scene is fun because we get to see this war criminal be stupid. But actually, this scene is very important in laying the groundwork for his and Sam’s relationship to each other. Bucky has had almost his entire life defined by Steve/Captain America and what he’s wanted. He’s followed him into every major decision of his life and is a reflection on Steve. When he was under HYDRA, he didn’t have agency. While he did technically choose to follow Steve, it eventually became “what other choice does he have?”. Sam notably, also chose to follow him. In the early days, it’s very clear that this is an angle of friendship (Bucky-Steve, Steve-Sam, NOT Bucky-Sam). While they might not have liked each other initially, there is still a level of mutual respect/potential trust. There is still that knowledge between them that they both are following the guy trying to do the right thing. So when Steve is gone, of course they’re both hurting. They’re trying to get along (and it is kind of working), but both still have their own issues. And then this shield situation happens, driving a wedge of scrumptious conflict between them. Despite this argument, Sam still fills him in with what’s going on. He trusts Bucky enough to tell him about potential super soldiers running around doing terrorist activities. And even though it probably would be great to have him, Sam doesn’t ask Bucky to come with. He just heads out on his mission. Bucky however, chooses to follow. This street of trust goes both ways, with Bucky believing that Sam is trying to do the right thing and follows him without even being asked. THIS IS HUGE. AND IMPORTANT. While this argument is still present and they CLEARLY are not boyfriends (yet), they still trust each other. They also are not particularly loyal to each other yet. There is no obligation between the two to follow each other, especially now that Steve is gone. So the choice to follow each other is interesting and will be fun to watch as their dynamic goes on. IT CAN ONLY GO UP, RIGHT?

- now we’re on the way to Munich babyyyyyy

- these losers are sitting as physically far apart as they can, staring each other down. They both eventually get up to put on the last of their respective gear when Bucky asks what the plan is. He takes Sam’s lack of a response as there being no plan and starts being petty.

- Sam says “enjoy your ride, Buck”. To which he IMMEDIATELY tells Sam that he can’t call him that, despite him being allowed to not even thirty minutes ago. And Sam calls him on it, asking why not and stating that Steve called him that.

- Bucky’s response is so stupid, saying that Steve knew him longer and had a plan. Sam retaliates, saying that he does have a plan.

- Sam then doesn’t tell him the plan and jumps out of the plane. Bucky is annoyed and asks where the chute is. Torres tells him they’re flying too low for a chute, so this DUMBASS jumps out anyway (keep in mind, still 200 ft. off the ground), saying that he doesn’t need it.

- homeboy hits the ground at Mach Jesus, to see Redwing hovering over him. Sam tells him through the little robot that he has all of that on camera and Bucky threatens to break Redwing. He then leads Bucky to the location via Redwing and they meet back up.

|-> this is more stupid bickering between boyfriends, especially on Bucky’s end. He is being so petty, snarky, and generally irritating/stubborn that it’s insane. While Bucky is still mad at Sam, he does understand that this is higher on the list of importance right now. But that doesn’t mean he’s going to forget all that initial anger/conflict. It also tells us just how much Sam didn’t ask him to follow, but expected the potential. He fully lets him on the plane, but when it’s time to go he just tells Bucky to enjoy the ride. He doesn’t assume that he’ll necessarily come with (i.e. the lack of a chute because Sam would have the Falcon suit/not filling him in on the plan). He did expect him to be petty/reckless though and still had Redwing film/follow him, just in case. Partially to laugh, but also to set him in the right direction if he did choose to come. Very much laughing at your friend because they ate shit and then helping them up.

- we then follow pookie to meeting up with Sam via Redwing, who he’s swinging at btw

- plot continues and the girls continue to bicker. Sam does let him in a little more on what’s going on, thinking that the people they’re following are smuggling weapons. Bucky sees a “clear path” so he starts to rush in, but Sam tells him to wait. Adding on that they are not assassins. Interesting word choice, but well-meaning.

- Bucky continues forward stealthily while Sam stays back. Joking with him about being “White Panther” after Wakanda, to which Bucky corrects him. “It’s White Wolf, actually”.

|-> showing us with one line that he is appreciative of everything they’ve done for him and respectful of the title they’ve given him

- he then gets within eyesight of the targets, bickering again with Sam, saying that he’s way ahead of him. Then Sam shows up right next to him and they’re yapping again. Bickering AGAIN. Sam tries to get him to wait and watch so they can see what’s going on and get more intel. The truck begins to pull away and Bucky takes off after it. Jumping in headfirst.

|-> sidenote: Kerri made an interesting observation. That Bucky was treating this mission almost like he would as the Winter Soldier, going in with a small bundle of information, eliminating the targets, and going home. He immediately wants to jump in while Sam acts with restraint, trying to get as much information as he can before deciding on a course of action. Even saying at one point, “I’ve got a vibranium arm, we can take him”. Definitely not an active thought pattern, but one that’s there nonetheless. THE PROGRAMMING RUNS DEEP Y'ALL. Especially since we can assume that this is one of his first missions WITHOUT HYDRA or Steve telling him what to do. He’s still thinking like an assassin.

- Bucky gets inside the truck, finding the “hostage” and that they were smuggling medicine. NOT weapons. And then the hostage rocks his shit into the truck behind them.<3

- then the girls start fighting

- Bucky’s not having a fantastic time, being outnumbered and all. Then Sam tries helping with Redwing until one of the super soldiers smash him. He snarkily tells Sam it was good of him to join the fight and that he always wanted to do that (break Redwing).

- then who should appear, but John Walker (EW). He and Lemar join the fight and we get a split second of Bucky catching the shield before it bounces back. He’s got an expression of almost disbelief. He knew someone else had the shield, but now it’s actually real for him. John grabs it and the fight keeps going.

- Bucky falls, barely hanging onto the truck and the fight continues. Sam, however, can see how this is going and saves him. Basically tuck and rolling his ass into the field and away from the fight. To which Bucky adds, “could’ve used that shield”.

|-> this whole fight, Bucky is still moving like he would as the Winter Soldier. Attacking and trying to take down. Meanwhile, Sam is taking a much less aggressive route. Watching and observing for information. He only joins the fight once Bucky throws himself into it. Bucky is still making those stupid and snide remarks the whole time. HE’S STILL ANNOYED/UPSET. Then when they roll into the field, he comes to the realization that Sam wasn’t looking to fight them. He just wanted to see if Redwing was right before engaging with something this big. And that realization shifts something in Bucky. (we’ll continue after the next scene, this was mostly plot relevant)

- the girlies then begin the trek to the airport with Bucky apologizing for Redwing. Sam responds with “no you’re not” and he’s kind of joking with him as they figure out what to do next. Bucky still doesn’t seem thrilled, but he’s at least stopped being an ass for now.

- THEN WHO SHOULD APPEAR BUT THE DUMB BITCH WITH THE SHIELD. They unhappily get in the car and John starts yapping about how they should work together.

- one of the few times Bucky actually talks to him, he immediately tells him that carrying the shield doesn’t mean he’s Captain America and asks if he’s thrown himself on top of a grenade before (he actually has, doesn’t mean shit to Bucky though).

- Sam is kind of cooperative, not telling them everything but still interacting. Then John commits a microaggression against Bucky, so that’s nice.

- they reveal that they tracked Sam through Redwing since he is government property and that they are “kind of the government”. John wants them to team up, but they are also being dicks. “You were kind of getting your asses handed to you before we showed up” type shit

- Battlestar being pookie’s 13th reason, he tells them to stop the car and gets out. John calls him Bucky and says he’s not trying to be Steve, just the best Captain America he can be. And that it would help to have Cap’s wingmen on his side.

- Sam is like hm crazy and gets out to follow Bucky.

|-> Bucky is still upset. We’ve beat that horse into the ground by this point. It’s starting to fizzle out, especially when Sam keeps joking with him. Then fucking John shows up AGAIN. Throughout their whole interaction, Bucky is keeping him at arm’s distance. He does NOT like this man, especially when he is meant to be the replacement for his best friend. Right now, he is a reminder of hurt for Bucky. A constant symbol of loss. His taunting with the grenade question is almost a way to prove to John that he’ll never be Cap (even though he has technically done it). The microaggression just makes him dislike John even further. The reveal that they are kind of the government also rubs salt in the wound for Bucky. The Avengers, and Cap specifically, were independent agents that worked technically for the U.S. gov., but still had a modicum of agency in their actions/calls to make. One call that Cap made was to go against the gov. and stick his neck out to save Bucky. But even before that, Cap has always worked with the government. Not for it. Big difference. (motherfucker has never followed a rule in his life) John officially stating that Cap is the government goes against everything that his legacy stood for and it angers Bucky further. John’s last statement also shows us (and potentially Bucky, unclear if he heard it or not) that he doesn’t necessarily want to work with them because they are capable/goal-aligned. It tells us that the new regime (John) would be more credible/powerful if the old regime (Sam/Bucky) would “bow” to him, in a sense. He wants Cap’s wingmen, not at all considering that they may have been loyal to the man and not the mantle. Babygirl is hurting and this loser is constantly worsening it, but I digress.

- they’re now back in the plane, kind of pouting/sitting in silence. Sam asks Bucky if he’s okay. (BOYFRIENDS BUT WHATEVER MARVEL) Then miss girl says that they should take back the shield and do this themselves.

- Sam is like princess we can’t do that, shall I remind you what happened last time? He reminds Bucky what happened last time and that they just got beaten up by 8 super soldiers with nothing to show for it.

- Bucky moves to sit beside Sam (gay) and says that’s not entirely true/there’s someone he should meet. Then they head to Baltimore. (note he's also wearing his dog tags in this scene, I felt that should be mentioned)

- here he introduces Sam to Isaiah, a black super soldier he met in 1951 during the Korean War. HYDRA feared him, just like they did Steve. Isaiah makes a joke about seeing if Bucky was here to kill him, to which he responds “I’m not a killer anymore”. Isaiah says that’s not how that works, except maybe it does for people like him (white).

- Bucky tells him why they’re there and that they need to know how/why there are more of them running around. Isaiah gets upset and doesn’t want to talk about it anymore, revealing that last time he was a hero he got imprisoned and experimented on by the U.S. government. They leave and the girls start arguing again.

- Sam is upset and angry that no one knew about him, AND that Bucky kept it a secret. The public argument leads to the police being prejudiced and kind of hassling Sam until Bucky defends him by asking if they know who he is. Once they realize, they stop being problematic and instead arrest Bucky for missing therapy (like missing a check-in with his P.O. type shit). Before he goes with them, he tells Sam that the reason he kept it a secret was because he had already been through enough. End scene.

|-> so that was heavy gang. Important, but heavy. Bucky throughout this scene is incredibly respectful to Isaiah, calling him a hero at one point. He is polite and there is not an ounce of snark when he talks to Isaiah. While not identical in their treatment, they both are victims of the super soldier serum and those that wanted to use it. Isaiah was betrayed by his home country, being experimented on and mistreated after years of service to the U.S. Bucky was experimented on and mistreated by HYDRA to be used as a weapon. Him keeping Isaiah a secret, as much good as it could have done to have a publicly known black super soldier, is an act of kindness. He knows what it’s like to go through that and understands that Isaiah wouldn’t have been granted the same pardons he has as a war criminal. Bucky is one of a handful (not even) of people who could possibly understand what Isaiah went through. And while Sam is upset for never knowing, he understands WHY Bucky hid him. But Sam understands Isaiah on a personal level that Bucky can’t ever fully experience. That concept gets reinforced with the fucking cops harping on Sam. Another moment we get of kind Bucky, jumping to Sam’s defense. He’s still upset with Sam, but immediately moves to defend him like he would have done for Steve. From a bully, in a way. Bucky and Sam are still not really friends by this point, but they both care for, respect, and trust each other on some level. And even though they’re being stupid right now, that base layer is still there to grow from. This scene acts mostly to direct the plot towards the next objective, but it also more importantly characterizes Bucky to resemble that kid from the 40’s. Loyal, quick to defend, and kind. He’ll never be the man he once was, but he isn’t everything that HYDRA made him to be. (not that he’s internalized this, but still)

- and now it’s time to sob because we’ve reached the therapy scene </3

- Bucky has been arrested and taken to the station when we find out that he’s being released. But why? Oh just because John Walker thinks he’s too valuable of an ASSET to have locked up. (WHAT THE FUCK). The only condition of his release is that he have a final therapy session with Raynor and then meet with them outside for unfinished business. Raynor then makes Sam a part of the session teehee.

- neither of them wants to start. Raynor starts by stating that it’s her job to make sure Bucky’s okay and that while this is slightly unprofessional it’s the only way to get over what’s eating away at him. They both still think this is stupid and are deeply uncomfortable/tense.

- miracle question for COUPLES gang (but whatever) and they both give the same stupid, snarky answer to deflect (talk less). Next is the soul gazing exercise where the have a fucking staring contest. THEY ARE DUMB and the actual friendship between Seabass/Anthony pokes through. - then Raynor asks the big question “Why does Sam aggravate you (and don’t say something childish)?” Bucky doesn’t directly answer, instead asking why he gave up the shield. Sam asks him why he’s making such a big deal out of something that had nothing to do with him.

- Bucky retaliates, saying that Steve trusted/believed in him and gave Sam the shield for a reason. The shield is his legacy and represents everything that he believed in. And Sam threw it away like it was nothing. And finally the most devastating line in the fucking show, “Maybe he was wrong about you, and if he was wrong about you then he was wrong about ME”. (BRO MY FUCKING SOUL UHHHHHHHHHHHHHH)

- there’s a moment of silence after that one. Then Sam asks if he’s done. (he is)

- Sam comes back at him, “Maybe this is something you or Steve will never understand, but can you accept that I did what I thought was right?”. Another moment of quiet. He follows up saying that he will squash this right now and that once everything is over they don’t have to see each other ever again. Bucky agrees, saying he’d like that.

- Sam leaves and before Bucky follows he asks what rule #2 was again (of his amend things). He thanks Raynor and meets him outside to find Walker.

- i feel better + i feel awful duo with a John yap sesh

- John says that a divide between them is bad (supposedly) and that working together would be a good idea. Sam gives him a little information, but not a lot while Bucky is being an ass to John (as he should). He tries to reign in Bucky’s snark, but stands by his man. Sam doubles down and tells John that they are free agents that can act quicker/easier so it doesn’t make sense for them to work together.

- John loosely threatens them cause he’s just that kind of guy and they separate, with the boyfriends headed to see Zemo.

|-> first off, referring to Bucky as an asset was fucked up. That’s no longer a microaggression, we’re officially in macroaggression territory. (if Bucky heard it, it also reaffirms his deep-seated fear that he will always be what they made him) Anywho, the girls are deeply uncomfortable. There’s this tension in the air from the fighting in the hangar and bickering during that whole mission. Especially since we’re focusing on Bucky in this moment, we’ve seen how upset he got when he found out what happened with the shield initially. Raynor is correct, this is eating away at him and he needs to talk with Sam. So when Raynor prods him, he chooses to open up and ask Sam why he gave up the shield. Sam doesn’t understand why he keeps harping back on this decision, especially when it DOESN’T concern him (partially true). And then babygirl trauma dumps on his boyfriend, revealing to both him and Raynor that his self-worth is tied up in Steve/his legacy. Always has been. Steve has been the driving factor in every major event in his life, stuck his neck out repeatedly when he felt undeserving of it, and has been his family both then and in recent years. Bucky harbors heavy guilt for everything that he did as the Winter Soldier. Steve’s steadfast faith in his friend was the only thing that made him feel slightly okay and that maybe it wasn’t his fault/he could move forward. And now that Steve is gone, all that self-worth is tied to the shield (+ Sam by proxy, having been given the shield). Bucky partially believed in himself because Steve believed in him, but more importantly because Steve believed in Sam. He treats Steve’s faith in Sam as fact almost. Steve believes in Sam because Sam is a good man (that’s worthy of the mantle) and Bucky agrees. Bucky knows that Sam is a good man and that he’d follow him. IF HE IS RIGHT ABOUT SAM, THEN MAYBE HE IS RIGHT ABOUT ME. And Sam suddenly understands why Bucky is so upset about this. But he also is a person that can make his own choices. “You’re not going to come here in your overextended life and tell me about my rights” from the previous episode. Bucky’s guilt and self-worth are fighting with Sam’s agency and right to decline a mantle he feels unworthy of. Being Captain America is a heavy mantle, but Steve (and by extension, Bucky) thought that Sam would be worthy of the load. And Sam declined taking it up. He doesn’t feel that way about himself. HIS SELF WORTH IS JUST AS TIED AS BUCKY'S IS. They are two sides of the same coin. Bucky and Sam are BOTH struggling with self-worth and grieving a friend. THEY’RE SO ALIKE THAT THEY CAN’T FUCKING STAND EACH OTHER.

|-> next is Sam’s moment. Sam understands why Bucky is behaving the way that he is. While he did what he thought was right, Bucky feels that Sam just committed heresy. He can’t accept that the man he believes in would do something like that. However, because Sam is such a kind and loyal person to his core, he sees how much this hurt Bucky and tries to make amends. Sam still wants Bucky on this mission with him. They trust and respect/care for each other, a valuable thing to have going into dangerous territory. But he knows how much this hurt Bucky, so he proposes squashing this right now (because they did actually kind of talk, regardless of how short the actual dialogue is) and that once this is all over they don’t have to see each other. He knows that if Bucky can’t forgive/accept him, they won’t be able to move past this. So he doesn’t beg for forgiveness, he doesn’t plead with him to talk about this further, he just leaves the option to revisit this in Bucky’s hands once this is all over. He leaves the CHOICE to connect up to Bucky. That line in episode 1 from Raynor about nurturing friendships comes back around, because up until this point it really has been Sam putting in the effort while Bucky remains closed off. Obviously they weren’t friendly in CA:CW and Sam reasonably had hesitations about Bucky, but after that he remains loyal to him. Fighting just as hard as he would have for Cap. Sam comes from COMMUNITY and chooses to extend the olive branch to Bucky. An olive branch he has been steadily ignoring. And Sam isn’t blind, if Bucky doesn’t want it he’s not going to force it. The never seeing each other again proposal, while hurting all of our hearts, also harps back to Sam being a good man. Part of the reason that he is so ready to drop it and move on is the mission. Dangerous things are going on and people could get hurt. Sam is willing to lose a friend to his own actions if it means helping those in need. He may not be Captain America (yet), but he still has all his stupid self-sacrificing characteristics. And Bucky is witnessing that in this moment. After ADMITTING that maybe Steve was wrong about him (obviously coming from a place of deep deep sad rather than an actual meaningful observation of his character, but he still said it).

|-> tldr: they’re both stupid and hurting. Both of them have said/done shit and right now they’re compartmentalizing to help people because time is a-wasting.

|-> finally, the conversation with John. Honestly, doesn’t introduce anything we haven’t already pretty much talked about. Reiterates that he loves to commit microaggressions towards pookie specifically. Mostly directs the plot toward the next objective (Zemo). But it does show another instance of loyalty from Sam. He stands by Bucky, choosing to work just with him (GAY). And while the reasoning he gave John does make sense, it’s only a partial truth. It’s also an act of defiance. Sam is choosing to work separate from John (kInD oF tHe GoVeRnMeNt). Another trait of Captain America. HMMMMMMMMM (but he’s not worthy guys trust).

END EPISODE 2

(pt. 5 of many)

#bucky barnes #the winter soldier #james buchanan barnes

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