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Goodbye 20s
I started this blog and my bucketlist exactly a year ago today. Yesterday I finished it yesterday. How nice to have completed it all a day short a year and end my 20s on a high note 😆 Now I can sit back and relishing in celebrating the big 3 0! ☺️
It’s been a life changing year. So many new experiences and challenges occurred through this bucketlist. There were also some personal struggles and as a result of facing them I feel stronger and more whole. My pain is so much more manageable and I feel very grounded.
This has been a year of personal growth and learning. My family and friends have always been there with love and support, but I didn’t appreciated how important they were to me. I needed them. In the darkest times, I discovered how blessed I was through those who reached out with love and encouragement.Sharing my joys, gave them joy. The only judgement that was bringing me down was my own. I am my worst enemy.
The biggest lesson I learned this year was self compassion. My worth is not defined my how much I accomplish nor any judgement on my “good/bad” state. That kind of core value is toxic. Instead worthiness exists through love. For I am worthy of love from others, but the love that matters most is my own. So now I catch myself when I make those judgements and engage in negative self talk. I remind myself to love graciously. Being gentle and unconditional. For I am worthy.
Much love and thanks to my family and friends ❤️
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Overview of Completed Bucketlist
IT IS DONE!!!
Had a productive weekend and knocked out the remaining 3: skeet shooting (skeet skeet), getting a tattoo (cattoo) and smoking a cigar (got major nicotine high). Just in time for the 1st!
30Before30 List
1. Buy a good bike (road, mountain or hybrid) and make it a new fitness hobby Completed on 1/10/2016
2. Sub 65 minute 10K race Completed on 1/1/2016 at Sam Houston Race Park for Run Houston!
3. Clean Eating for 2 weeks Completed on 6/29/2015
4. Read “Art of War” Completed on 5/2/2016
5. Renew Passport Completed and received on 7/24/2015
6. Random Travels: Pick a random destination and spend a day/weekend Completed on by traveling to Galveston and enjoying their Mardi Gras celebration on Seawall on 1/30/2016
7. Finish reading “Man’s Search for Meaning” Completed on 2/23/2016
8. Visit a Hooters Completed at the Kirby location with friends on 1/9/2016
9. Take a professional family portrait (cats included) Completed on 11/23/2015
10. Go to an iconic annual/seasonal Houston/TX event Completed twice on 6/27/2015 (Houston Gay Pride) and on 11/21/2015 (Texas Renaissance Festival)
11. Go to Houston Rodeo Completed on 3/13/2016 on Tejano Day
12. Buy one thing Texans wear Completed on 12/31/2015 Got cowboy boots
13. Visit 3 TX historical sites/cities/town Completed by visiting Austin/Capitol Hill on 7/4/2015, Johnson Space Center (the historic Mission Control room)/ Space Center Houston on 3/31/2016 and the Battleship Texas on 5/8/2016
14. Go Skeet Shooting Completed on 5/22/2016 at Carters Country
15. Go to a gun show Completed on 4/2/2016 at the High Caliber Gun Show in Pasadena
16. Get a permanent tattoo Completed on 5/20/2016 at A Pair of Dice Studios
17. Get Henna tattoo Completed on 11/21/2015 at Texas Ren Fest
18. Commission a Cat Portrait Completed twice and gifted on 12/2/2015 portrait of Louie for my husband’s Bday/for Christmas 2015 for a friend
19. Participate in a Spicy Food Challenge Completed on 4/9/2016 at Moontower Inn
20. Learn how to make kimchi Completed on 8/2/2015
21. Have an Omakaze Dinner at Sushi restaurant Completed on 5/5/2016 at MF Sushi
22. Try a new ethnic cuisine (E.g. Polish, Russian, French, Norwegian, etc) Completed on 4/23/2016 by trying Polish food at Polonia Restaurant
23. Try Paddleboard Yoga Completed on 5/1/2016 at 288 Lake with Big SUP Yoga
24. Smoke a Cigar Completed on 5/22/2017
25. Successfully foster & find homes for current foster kitties Completed on 12/6/2015
26. Select 2 charities/organizations to donate my time, service and/or $$ (1 must be an org that I will not directly benefit from or have a personal connection to) Completed by Volunteering at SHAPE Center in Oct 2015 and Donating to local Planned Parenthood on 4/29/2016
27. An anonymous, random act of kindness and/or appreciation Completed on 7/1/2015
28. Give or donate something that will be a personal sacrifice Completed on 12/5/2015 (donated my hair to Pantene Beautiful Lengths
29. Participate in the Mall Angel Tree Program Completed on 12/14/2015 for a boy (7-9 years of age)
30. Reregister/Update my information in donor registries Completed on 6/29/2015
Deadline: May 31, 2016
Completed 30 out of 30
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Got my first tattoos. It was pretty painful. But the pain is temporary and the gorgeous art is permanent
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Bucketlist Update 30Before30
27 Down Only 3 MORE to go!!!
Less than a month until my 30th birthday and the deadline. I’ve kicked my butt in high gear to get most of it done, but I still have a few left! Just need to go skeet shooting, get a tattoo and smoke a cigar. All very doable before June 1st!
30Before30 List
1. Buy a good bike (road, mountain or hybrid) and make it a new fitness hobby Completed on 1/10/2016
2. Sub 65 minute 10K race Completed on 1/1/2016 at Sam Houston Race Park for Run Houston!
3. Clean Eating for 2 weeks Completed on 6/29/2015
4. Read “Art of War” Completed on 5/2/2016
5. Renew Passport Completed and received on 7/24/2015
6. Random Travels: Pick a random destination and spend a day/weekend Completed on by traveling to Galveston and enjoying their Mardi Gras celebration on Seawall on 1/30/2016
7. Finish reading “Man’s Search for Meaning” Completed on 2/23/2016
8. Visit a Hooters Completed at the Kirby location with friends on 1/9/2016
9. Take a professional family portrait (cats included) Completed on 11/23/2015
10. Go to an iconic annual/seasonal Houston/TX event Completed twice on 6/27/2015 (Houston Gay Pride) and on 11/21/2015 (Texas Renaissance Festival)
11. Go to Houston Rodeo Completed on 3/13/2016 on Tejano Day
12. Buy one thing Texans wear Completed on 12/31/2015 Got cowboy boots
13. Visit 3 TX historical sites/cities/town Completed by visiting Austin/Capitol Hill on 7/4/2015, Johnson Space Center (the historic Mission Control room)/ Space Center Houston on 3/31/2016 and the Battleship Texas on 5/8/2016
14. Go Skeet Shooting
15. Go to a gun show Completed on 4/2/2016 at the High Caliber Gun Show in Pasadena
16. Get a permanent tattoo
17. Get Henna tattoo Completed on 11/21/2015 at Texas Ren Fest
18. Commission a Cat Portrait Completed twice and gifted on 12/2/2015 portrait of Louie for my husband’s Bday/for Christmas 2015 for a friend
19. Participate in a Spicy Food Challenge Completed on 4/9/2016 at Moontower Inn
20. Learn how to make kimchi Completed on 8/2/2015
21. Have an Omakaze Dinner at Sushi restaurant Completed on 5/5/2016 at MF Sushi
22. Try a new ethnic cuisine (E.g. Polish, Russian, French, Norwegian, etc) Completed on 4/23/2016 by trying Polish food at Polonia Restaurant
23. Try Paddleboard Yoga Completed on 5/1/2016 at 288 Lake with Big SUP Yoga
24. Smoke a Cigar
25. Successfully foster & find homes for current foster kitties Completed on 12/6/2015
26. Select 2 charities/organizations to donate my time, service and/or $$ (1 must be an org that I will not directly benefit from or have a personal connection to) Completed by Volunteering at SHAPE Center in Oct 2015 and Donating to local Planned Parenthood on 4/29/2016
27. An anonymous, random act of kindness and/or appreciation Completed on 7/1/2015
28. Give or donate something that will be a personal sacrifice Completed on 12/5/2015 (donated my hair to Pantene Beautiful Lengths
29. Participate in the Mall Angel Tree Program Completed on 12/14/2015 for a boy (7-9 years of age)
30. Reregister/Update my information in donor registries Completed on 6/29/2015
Deadline: May 31, 2016
Completed 27 out of 30
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How to Self Validate
Self-validation: Respecting yourself, letting yourself feel, think, and want with acceptance – no judgments, second-guessing, or devaluing yourself.
With Mindfulness (about):
Observe, participate, and describe your thoughts and feelings non-judgmentally.
Let judgments pass. Notice but do not hold onto them, let them go.
Observe your thinking without participating or believing it’s true.
Identify and describe your feelings precisely.
Allow yourself to feel your emotions without avoiding them, escaping from them, acting impulsively, or numbing out from them. Try to manage your emotions skillfully.
Honor your own values.
Using Radical Acceptance (about):
Look for legitimacy and understanding within yourself, truthfully and without judgment.
Try to radically accept your feelings, thoughts, or actions as they are.
Respect your own experience with willingness.
Broaden and balance your views on what you are invalidating, putting them in a new context.
Change your response to yourself:
Act like you take yourself seriously.
Acknowledge your normative emotions without judging them.
Identify problematic behavior and try to change it.
Nurture and support yourself or seek support from others.
Show the same compassion for yourself as you would for any human.
Use your wise mind.
Note: Without self-validation, you might criticize yourself, beat yourself up, or feel embarrassment or shame when something happens.You would likely retreat from these emotions and fall into the same self-defeating patterns.
A self-validating pattern after an event might include:
Catching self-invalidation early.
Noticing your emotions and check the facts. Ask “what happened?” or “what would another non-judgmental person feel?’
Watch for more complex emotions like shame, but trust your primary emotions.
Don’t call yourself names like “jerk” or “idiot.”
Identify what you want and respect it.
Identify your vulnerabilities.
Ask yourself if what you’re feeling makes sense or if other people would react similarly.
Actively tell yourself how your emotions, sensations, and wants make sense.
Self-soothe.
Re-engage with your life in the moment as a valid, respected person.
Bottom line: Judging yourself usually leads to shame. If you feel shame, check whether you have violated your values. If you have not, try to stay in your primary emotion. Describe your wants and the situation. Try to allow yourself to just be; notice and describe. If you are still struggling to self-validate, ask yourself how you might treat somebody else and give yourself the same respect.
Further Reading: The Self-Verification Theory | Source: (x) paraphrased by Rachel for Borderline Bravery
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Visited the historic Battleship Texas naval vessel in La Porte yesterday (5/8/16). Pretty amazing to see how each of the decks/rooms/weaponry as it was back when the vessel was active. Engine room was stuffy despite nothing being on. Can’t imagine how hot it must have been when it was in action
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Realized I never shared when I went to the Houston Rodeo (3/13/16) and then went home to celebrate my Sallie's 4th day. Doesn't she look pretty in pink? #Houston Rodeo #30before30 #catbirthday #crazycatlady
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Tried omakase for the first time w/ Bruce. It was amazing. Spent 3 hours trying 20 courses including dessert. Wanna come back here again. #omakase #mfsushiomakase #30before30 (at MF Sushi Houston Museum District)
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The Art of War by Sun Tzu
Finally finished reading "The Art of War" by Sun Tzu. It was a short book, but took awhile to finish because it was a manual on important principles to consider to effectively a win a war. I tend to avoid conflict and didn't consider myself a fighter, but the general principles of the book can be applied to life. Wars aren't won by brute strength, large numbers in troops or abundance/sophistication of weapons. You have to consider other elements like having a good leader, the weather, the terrain, enemy knowledge and taking care of your troops/the conquered/the enemy. It is important to use the strengths and weaknesses of the army, the battleground, and the enemy fight a strategic battle that plays to your advantages or minimize your disadvantages. Patience, observation, discretion, knowledge, communication, courage and leadership are all important skills to have/utilize. Not just for battle, but for living and living well.
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Started the morning (and the beginning of a new month) with some SUP yoga at 288 lake! It was fun & the water was nice. Didn’t fall in the water but Bruce did. Maybe next time ;) #SUPYoga #30before30 (at BIG SUP Yoga)
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Been thinking about which charity/organization I should provide a monetary contribution. After much thought, I pick the local Planned Parenthood.
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Decided to try the 'world's hottest burger' to do my spicy food challenge bucketlist item. Only had 1/4 of it. The burn from eating wasn't nearly as bad the burn from digesting it. And yes it burned coming out the other end too 🌶🌶🌶😭💩 #30Before30
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Enjoyed the Baytown Relay For Life fair. Watched the Survivor Walk & checked out all the booths. Bought some kitty wall art 😻pretty awesome since the proceeds will go towards the cause and I got to indulge my inner cat lady #30Before30 #relayforlife (at Royal Purple Raceway)
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Working on my bucketlist. Finally went to a gun show. Amused that we only bought smoked jerky, jalapeño sausage and purdy necklaces 😆 Typical Nancy. Although we almost got a small crossbow 🏹 #30Before30 #gunshow
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