number-crimes-wizard

[number-crimes-wizard]

redeeming moment for crazy white women everywhere

[number-crimes-wizard]

I want to implant Shawn and Gus into every media I watch they just have that immense power to seamlessly fit in and inevitably elevate whatever is going on. it literally wouldn't matter it could be a post-apocalyptic wasteland and Shawn would still show up at the survivor camp wearing shades drinking from a pineapple like "wow this place is sadder than Gus's dating life in high school" and Gus would be all "the water here isn't even being boiled properly Shawn. I'm not staying at this camp I will not be getting dysentery I'm already fighting my sciatica flare-up" and all the people at the camp would be like "what the actual fuck" as Shawn and Gus walk off bickering into the distance and disappear

[number-crimes-wizard]

HAPPY RACCOON BIRTHDAY

FUCK. honestly just FUCK. We missed a very important day yesterday.

[number-crimes-wizard]

house cleaning 🧹

[number-crimes-wizard]

My friends who just got their first glasses: i need this highly expensive special cloth to wipe them, I also have this eyeglass cleaner from the same company, did you know you shouldn't use your t shirt unless it's specifically soft

Me who's worn glasses since middle school: *slaps soap onto the glasses and washes them in the sink then wipes them with toilet paper* what

[number-crimes-wizard]

[number-crimes-wizard]

[number-crimes-wizard]

[number-crimes-wizard]

academic dishonesty is not something you can spin as moral lol i do not want to share a career field let alone a social sphere with a bunch of chatgpt using ass bitches

[number-crimes-wizard]

they’ve been forcing us to write “customized notes” on every drink at work and now they’re having store meetings + coaching us on what we can and can’t write bc someone drew a pig on a cop’s coffee and tbh that’s on starbucks for not foreseeing this outcome.

[number-crimes-wizard]

While cleaning out my room I found a paper that my therapist gave me some time ago to deal with obsessive and intrusive thoughts. Sorry the paper is a little crinkled and stained, but I figured I’d post it in hopes that it will help someone like it helped me.

[number-crimes-wizard]

People keep assuming Molly is my dom. It is hilariously wrong, but kind of annoying how often it happens. You think just because she is butch, stronger, and older than me, that means I have to be her sub? You are a fool

[number-crimes-wizard]

Hackers (1995)

[number-crimes-wizard]

considering gus was almost canonically a "pleasure to have in class" neurodivergent and shawn was almost canonically a "the whole years lesson plan has been disrupted in one afternoon" neurodivergent i like to think that every New teacher they ever had did one cursory scan of the room on their first day and unwittingly decided that a Great and Brilliant way to solve their shawn problem was to seat him next to gus. which of course, naturally and immediately, resulted every time in what was now a much bigger and indeed catastrophically worst shawn AND gus problem. this happened multiple times

[number-crimes-wizard]

Yet again, more proof that capitalism was never about "freedom" or "small government".

[number-crimes-wizard]

No children are allowed in the Library of Congress.

It's not that kind of library.

In other words...

You are being lied to

again

[number-crimes-wizard]

Rich people silence their opposition by threatening to do what they're going to do anyway even if they get what they want. Bootlickers believe them.

Even if employees were paid $4 per hour, corporations would still be looking for ways to automate their labor and save $4 per hour per employee.