nut-today

[nut-today]

Serendipity

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Her life finally stood up straight. Her hazard compass had stopped spinning. North was finally north. For once that day she finally can say 'Happiness!!!'

Just as she was mentally preparing for another questionable disaster, Nuraga called and told her he was next door. He was in Robi's flat. He-was-next-door!!!

"Katanya lo tinggal di sebelah ya? Ini kita ada makanan banyak, lo lagi di unit lo nggak? Kalo mau bisa ke sini ya��that if you feel safe enough around us,"

Audy chuckled hearing that.

Safe? That was an understatement. They were like an emergency call to her SOS, the 911 to her sexual abuse report, his call didn't just make her felt safe—She felt like toddler being invited to a tea party!

BISA! GUA BISAAAA!!

Audy dashed out of her flat.

Truth was, that night, Audy didn’t need anything grand. She just needed the presence of a company. Someone good, someone kind and nearby. And just when she thought her night couldn't get any worse, God's help came, as if He'd say, “You’ve suffered enough, girl. Here’s a little kindness.”

Yes, kindness!

Their invitation was technically an act of kindness. The kindness of that trio was real—That part was clear. But as soon as she entered the room, the vibe felt less 'Yaayyyy!' and more like a talent show audition—Audy blamed it on her nervous system! Her anxiety went through the roof.

"Haiiii!"

"Halooo!"

Robi’s unit was way nicer than she’d prepared for. It's what adulthood was supposed to look like—minimalist, unlike Audy's that was dominated by colorful and cartoon-ish interior.

The moment she walked in, the pantry light welcomed her. Soft, warm, reassuring yellow—the kind that usually said, “Relax, you’re safe here.” But her heart didn’t get the message. Just as her brain whispered, “Act natural,” she bumped into the pantry counter and made the glass hit the floor.

Clink!

Glad it was plastic. It clattered, not shattered.

Still Audy apologized though, "Maaf—"

"Nggak apa-apa...!!"

Thank God the bounced cup incident was the icebreaker. The vibe shifted, they were laughing and suddenly the awkwardness turned into easy smiles. Conversation flowed easily, they had their meals in the dining table, they shared laughter in between their meals, but when it comes to eye-contact Audy and Nuraga somehow managed to keep their gazes anywhere but on each other.

Robi noticed. He kept the chatter flowing, not making the awkward eye game stood too long. He then thought to himself, Nuraga with his tight shoulders, careful words, zero eye contact, that man wasn’t just being polite, he was protecting something. Too bad the barrier inside his heart prolly still as big as The Great Wall Of China.

"Oh lo tadinya mau pulang malem ini? Bareng aja sama kita!"

"Emang kalian mau balik juga?"

"Robi nggak, tapi gue sama Nuraga iya! Mau rekam konten ASMR midnight makanya butuh hening-hening ..."

Vazhimi had a conversation with Audy. And just like that—thanks to that one conversation—Audy got herself a drive home with Vazhimi and Nuraga. Wild how the universe works with miracle sometimes.

Audy was in the back seat. Not much was said. It was already past ten, the two in front seemed just as low-energy as she was.

She made it home peacefully, kicked off her shoes, and plopped onto her bed with her heart still doing mini backflips. She opened her phone, thumb hovering over the keyboard.

Should she thank Nuraga?

Was it weird?

Too soon?

Too much?

Ding!

One message received from him before she even type anything for him. One message ahead of her.

Life, as always, had a funny way to surprise her.

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[nut-today]

Barely Better

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"Hello Korean lovers! ..."

Oh, those words. Audy had rehearsed them so many times in her head for tomorrow. The outfit? Already hanging proudly in front of her closet. All she could do now was sit there, eyes locked on the dress with teary eyes.

Bohong kalau dia bilang dia nggak mau nangis.

Audy wanted that one interview. A big-name celeb. Just once.

Scoring an international celeb interview wasn’t about flexing—it was about finally ticking that box in her bucket list. Big names. Big achievements. She was fuming, dramatically sighing into air, and that's the furthest thing she could do because complaining to her bosses would be like shouting into a void. They treated complaints like background noise; ignored.

"AAAARGHHH!!!" She finally made it to a full tantrum mode, arms flailing and feet kicking. "AAAAAARRRRHHHHGGGHGHGHHHH!"

WWWHHHHYYYYY???!!

In the middle of her dramatic meltdown, she glanced out the window. Only to see a young family swimming joyfully. Laughing, playing water cannonball with their kids. Perfect. The universe really nailed the timing. Happy family, poolside perfection right when Audy was spiraling. Perfect. Perfection.

That's when Audy broke down into tears. She couldn't help it. The week had been… not great. Audy was basically hanging all her hopes on that one interview. And just like that, the interview was also gone. Poof. Vanished.

Audy flopped herself onto the bed, eyes on the ceiling—tears streamed. God, why is it always one thing after another, after another, after another? It's not like Audy asked for more chaos in her life?

The crying escalated. Her face was soaked in silence. The sobs grew heavier. It kept building inside her, wave after wave, to a point she was scared they might echo through the thin walls of her flat.

"Udah, Audy, udah." Slowly she tried to control her breathe. Her sobs softened, replaced by the sound of her own breathing. Uneven, still trembling.

Just the other day she’d talked about acceptance on her broadcast. Now she was the one who needed to hear it the most. Come on, Audy. You meant it when you said it—so believe it now!

She cried again—just once more. One last release before she let it all go. Tomorrow she'd stay home, bake cookies, and give herself the kindness no one else could.

"Oke, udah ya Audy. Semangaattt!!!" She patted herself a little. Then she stood up, a new spark in her chest.

Too bad she didn't know the universe had already scheduled the next round of disaster.

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[nut-today]

Epiphany

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Trying to figure out who Maya was in Nuraga’s life really took a toll on Audy, and she decided she'd rather focused on better things to do. She opted for productive distractions: decluttering, deep-cleaning the flat, and dealing with boxes she hadn't yet unpacked when she first moved in.

She let out a sigh once the cleaning frenzy was done. Her eyes wandered to the window, gaze soft and unfocused. These quiet kind of time always made living in the apartment felt bigger—and emptier. She didn’t even know her neighbors, which somehow made it all feel lonelier.

Sometimes she thought about what it’d be like living with a partner. Putting up shelves together, laughing over burnt toast. Grocery shoppings would turn into little adventures, cooking would mean dancing with spatulas, and coming home wouldn’t feel like walking into a sad coming-of-age Korean drama episodes. Erika getting herself a London Boy the first month she moved to the UK was a smart move. Lucky? Also yes. The girl’s practically glowing when she says, ‘Living overseas doesn’t feel that lonely anymore.’

Thinking about Erika, Audy couldn’t help but wonder—how did she end up getting engaged first? Not that Audy was underestimating her. It's just Erika has always been the kind of girl with this unbothered, rich aunty energy. Settling down wasn’t even on her vision board. And yet, she met a guy who wasn’t just a Bumble match but a perfect life-fit? If Erika could find someone like that, then what was Audy missing?

Or maybe some puzzle pieces are just dealt by the universe. And since life’s lottery seemed to be drawn by the universe with its own mysterious logic, Audy had started to accept maybe marriage just wasn’t for everyone. Maybe the universe was dealing her blessings in other currencies—like late-night ice cream with no one judging, cookies that always came out perfectly golden, and this flat that felt like a romcom set but with a low rent.

But wait—didn’t Erika get those blessings too?

Late-night croissants in Paris, a cozy flat in London, even perfect skin without a 10-step routine. And now, a fiance who adored her chaotic soul like it was a love language? Well, well....

Sometimes it made Audy pause. Because if people like Erika could get both the sweet life and the great love story, maybe this wasn’t about blessings being distributed differently—maybe Audy was just… skipped?

Or maybe, just maybe, hers was still on the way.

Taking the longer route.

With a flat tire.

And no signal.

"HhHhhHhH." With a sigh and a stretch she finally got up and went back to tidying.

She hated to admit it, but yeah—her mind was wondering back to Nuraga. The thought wasn’t loud, but it was there. Which surprised her because normally no matter how good-looking or money-scented a guy was, she stayed unmoved. Take Gideon for example, Gideon had the kind of wealth where his family most likely had a trust fund somewhere for them to allow their son worked as a radio host just because Gideon felt like it. Objectively? He is perfect. Subjectively? Audy felt no butterfly around him. Gideon had been lowkey smitten for her. Audy knew, of course she knew. But rather than breaking his heart, she'd rather doing an Oscar act performance and pretended she didn’t see the heart-eyes whenever they talk. Which made it kind of ironic, really—because Audy kept checking her phone for Nuraga, knowing full well Gideon would’ve happily blown up her notifications if she let him.

But at the end of the day, it is what it is.

"Eh?" She murmured.

Maybe she could turn this emotional mess into a topic?

Acceptance sounds like a solid theme for tomorrow’s broadcast, no?

“Kayaknya bukan cuma gue yang ngerasain beginian?" Audy mumbled, already imagining her listeners nodding along tomorrow.

The next day came, and Audy was back on air. Her mood was dramatically improved. There was something about sharing tiny pieces of herself with strangers that made everything feel just a little more manageable.

"93,2 FM the best radio in town ..." Audy began her usual radio talk, spilling her thoughts like they were her best friends.

What she didn’t know was that, miles away, Nuraga was driving and listening to her broadcast, blissfully unaware that it was her behind the mic. In fact Nuraga had become a regular listener, loving her segments. But since they've only interacted a couple of times, and she wasn’t using her real name while DJ-ing, his ears didn’t recognize Audy's voice yet.

"... Here's the thing: when it comes to acceptance, you can’t just tell yourself, ‘I need to stop feeling this.’ That’s not how brains work. So, yeah, if it hurts, it hurts. Terima aja dulu kalo orang yang kita admire nggak suka kita balik, kalo nominal gaji yang kita mau belum bisa kita capai, kalo orang yang udah pergi dari hidup kita nggak bisa datang lagi. Mungkin kita emang harus melalui itu dulu. Mungkin kalo nggak melalui itu, kita kurang fokus sama kekurangan kita. Maybe it’s time to focus on our own growth instead of running after things that aren’t meant for us. Fixing ourself to be better is a lifetime project, kan? ..."

The radio show went well. Nuraga was off to where he was headed, and Audy wrapped up her broadcast just like usual.

By the time Audy finally made it back to her apartment, it was already 9 PM. The apartment hallway was almost too quiet, each of Audy’s footsteps ringing out a little more than it should have. Audy slid the key into her lock flat, the familiar click echoing in the quiet apartment.

"Eh Audy ya?" A familiar voice of a man cut through the silence while that guy also opening his door.

Audy turned her head, "Ya?"

The said guy waved her hand. "Gue Robi! Temennya Nuraga. Lo tinggal di sini? Sebelahan dong apartemen kita!?"

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[nut-today]

9

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Dim lights. Quiet streets. Nuraga just parked his car outside his house, the air-con was the only thing that was on since he'd turned off the radio. He sat there leaning back in his driver seat, didn't feel like coming out of the car. The steering wheel still warm from the drive. Eyes locked on the message he got from Audy.

He'd read Audy's text just before he pulled his car into the neighborhood. The car interior glowed in soft yellow from the streetlight—a warm kind of lonely. His brain, however, still felt like a crowded Zoom call. Nuraga spent his evening with meeting and negotiation with wedding vendor who wanted to collaborate with Sew Ga, thanks to paracetamol he took this morning he could managed to get through it.

His phone, historically, always lit up with notifications from mostly women—mostly nice, some too nice. Pretty, friendly, a bit flirty. He never put too much thought into it since he mostly makes dresses for women so of course he naturally got chats from women—Simple math. If anything, having his inbox dominated by women felt more like an occupational hazard than a triumph. But to people like Robi and Vazhimi, it puzzled them—why, with all the many women at his fingertips, was Nuraga so focused on Audy?

One of Nuraga's staff had a crush on him. Younger sister of an actress who frequently came to Sew Ga for dresses also quietly liked him. In Malaysia the other day, a few women who are now in Nuraga's contact list definitely seemed to have their eyes on him. Nuraga's life was never lacking female attention. If he wanted to, he could easily have not one, but two or even three girlfriends. With his colleagues offering match-ups for him from time to time and numerous female friends trying to get closer, Robi and Vazhimi often think, "Maybe this one could replace Maya."

But nope, none of them ever were.

So what made him so sure of Audy?

"Kenapa ya?" As it turns out Nuraga was thinking that exact same thing at that moment.

The question hit him as he read the last message Audy sent him. When Audy gave him the cookies, Nuraga really just wanted to say that he'd only been thinking about her because he felt guilty about taking so long to reply lately. But when Audy asked if it was alright to hang out with another guy, Nuraga couldn't help but notice how strange it felt. He hadn't had anyone to ask for boundaries with other guys in a long time. It felt unfamiliar. Weirdly unfamiliar. Even with Maya back then, they never needed to ask each other for permission—he trusted her. Now with Audy, where things were still new, it felt... like uncharted territory.

He hadn't yet figured out where he should draw the line.

He had no clue how to respond, so he decided that calling her would be the easiest way out. A tiny part inside his heart misses her voice, too. Five rings and she finally picked up the call.

"Halo?"

"Halo..."

"Lagi apa?"

"Baru pulang abis ada ketemu orang W.O tadi. ..."

The conversation passed peacefully, lingered with a sort of soft melancholy. In the end, Nuraga reassured her it was perfectly fine if she wanted to go out with another guy.

"Lah jadi maksudnya dia nggak apa-apa kalo gue ngejalanin hubungan ini sama dua cowok?" Audy huffed under her breath once the phone call was over.

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[nut-today]

8

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A few days went by, Audy and Nuraga's chat was basically a snail race—each reply sliding in five hours later. Audy made sure he wasn't the only one texting in slow motion. But surprisingly, Nuraga managed to clear his schedule and be Audy's +1 for both of the dates she'd told him about without her asking. You never know what's coming next when it comes to that man.

Her mood while baking had more twists than the dough she stirred—mix emotions on loop. But the cookies was perfection. She even added a ribbon to the jar, cute as ever.

Wednesday came, and as promised she went to Nuraga's place with cookies in her hand and nerves in tow. She couldn't quite explain why, but she wasn't exactly thrilled about meeting Nuraga. Her expression was between "Do I have to?" and "Ugh, I kinda want to meet him" and anyone who saw her could see it on her face.

"Eh, Audy ya?" As soon as she stepped into Nuraga's front yard she ran into someone Audy guessed was Vazhimi.

Before Vazhimi could holler for Nuraga inside the house, Nuraga had already shown up as if he'd been waiting. Seconds later, they were left alone.

Nuraga's face looked tired. Even from a distance, Audy could tell. Anyone could spot the tired in his eyes. Vazhimi had also mentioned earlier that their trio were feeling under the weather yesterday—exhausted from the KL's trip it seemed.

Audy had spotted Nuraga from a distance earlier, and even through the window, Nuraga's exhaustion was hard to ignore. It must be tiring for him, juggling between employees, supplies, salaries, content, customers... the list goes on. He's got a buddy to rant to, right? That kind of weight... hopefully, he had someone he trusted enough who knew how to hold space for that kind of tired.

Honestly, he's really impressive. Ever since she first watched his YouTube videos, Audy had been impressed—not in a crush-y way. Just genuinely in awe. Even when her mom brought him up for the first time she'd tweeted she never want to dazzle him or anything—Because it wasn't like that. But then again when did it shift? When did admiring Nuraga quietly turn into liking him? Because back when she first discovered his YouTube, it wasn't feelings—it was admiration. Young, talented, grounded—he stood out. That was all. Or so she thought. Meeting him in real life for the first time didn't change it. As they talked, Audy still felt small next to him.

It's probably when Nuraga praised her cookies, something soft and fluttery stirred in her chest. And when he asked for a video call? That was it. It did something to her. Life was so unpredictable. A week ago Audy wouldn't have imagined thinking about a boyfriend. Now emotions had flipped between her and that guy facing her. Was it the same for Nuraga? Did he feel something for her?

"Makasih ya kuenya. Ini harganya berapa?"

"Apaan sih! Ngapain bayar?"

Nuraga instantly picked up on Audy's sour expression and joked around. But even so, the atmosphere stayed a little heavier than usual. Both of them were a little off, the awkwardness between them says it all.

Just as Audy was about to leave, Nuraga's voice interrupted with clumsy confession. He scratched the back of his head awkwardly, wondering if that was too much, too soon. His voice was kinda shaky as if he was unsure but he did tell Audy, out of nowhere, that there was no one inside his heart at the moment but her.

See? Wajar kan kalo gua mikir dia suka juga sama gua?

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[nut-today]

Mastering Acceptance

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"OMGGGG!!!"

Audy let out a big gasp. She blinked, then blinked again. Nuraga was on her YouTube homepage but not on his usual territory. That man was on a livestream, giving business advice on an international channel.

Where did he even come from this time?? Gue bahkan nggak subscribe channel Youtube yang livestream acara dia ini anjir!!

Audy's mind kept insisting the universe tried pulling some strings between her and Nuraga—which was partially true—But then again she had just spent the whole day binge-watching Sew Ga's YouTube videos. The YouTube algorithm was just doing its job circling her recommendation related to him.

She was already grinning like a teenager in a 2000s rom-com movies when she clicked the livestream. Audy reached out for her headset with one hand while her eyes were glued on the screen.

Nuraga was so handsome, wearing a suit with his casual hairstyle, looking unfairly charming. The way he spoke English was clear and confident, even through the screen you could tell he had presence. He looked so relaxed in front of the audience as if he did that every day. Doing a grown-up, fun, terrifyingly attractive business talk, Audy couldn't believe how effortlessly cool he was. And the PowerPoint? Not even about sewing. It was business. Tailoring got a little mention—like 20% max—but the rest? Business-savvy genius. That man has never been just a tailor, he's a boss.

Classic industrial engineering boy energy. Audy was mesmerized.

"Sudah terbiasa terjadi Tante—" Audy auto nyanyi lagu Tiktok yang biasanya dijadiin sound anak teknik kan!

Drrrrttt

A notification popped up on her phone. Her online order had just arrived and was now waiting at her front door. She'd ordered some baking ingredients online earlier since there was promo. Now that the delivery had arrived, she made her way outside to pick it up. Her attention drifted from the livestream.

The livestream she didn't pay attention to was in the Q&A round. Someone had asked Nuraga about how he's dealing things when it's out of control—both in running his business and growing his YouTube channel. He had answered it just fine, but the question stuck with him as if it hadn't really ended in that ballroom. It kept circling inside his head even after he got back to the hotel. Then it hit him; could he really anticipate things that were out of his control?

When it came to work, Nuraga had it all figured out. His team was solid, and he always had a backup plan (or two) before diving into anything. It's always been manageable to him—a bit tightly controlled, if he's being honest. But Nuraga had never fully made peace of Maya's passing—and that wasn't what dealing things that's out of control looked like. Mastering acceptance? if it was part of emotional intelligence it was one subject he needs to relearn again and again.

Drrrtttt

A message from Audy popped up. He stared at it for a second, then put the phone down. No energy to answer.

Just like it had with the three girls before her, the fear started creeping back in. A part of him was already pulling away. What if getting too close to Audy would only do more harm than good, just like the same ending he'd seen before?

Clarity had a price. In that clear space, one thought stood out: letting her in was not the smart thing to do.

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[nut-today]

Partly "Poor guy," partly "Dude, seriously?"

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The trio had just finished a glorious breakfast at their hotel. Nuraga, Robi, and Vazhimi were relaxed by the poolside—where the Petronas Towers stood proudly in the distance. The pool shimmered under the morning sun. Vazhimi was enchanted by the building, snapping photos just like his usual self.

Once Vazhimi was done with his camera, he joined the other guys, and the three of them sat together. In the middle of their triangle was brunch buffet—enough desserts to make their morning better.

Robi was happily multitasking, editing a video with one hand and stealing bites of pancake with the other. Nuraga was scrolling through his iPad reading a few proposals—Two furniture companies reached out hoping to collaborate with Sew Ga, specifically to feature their products like tables and cabinets to be showcased in Sew Ga's videos.

Robi, deep in his editing zone on Nuraga's laptop, suddenly paused and pointed,

"Eh ada chat masuk barusan dari Audy." Robi informed Nuraga, noticing that guy's phone wasn't even with him. But then his eyes tightened. "Eh nggak deng ini kayaknya notif popped up lagi aja? Kalo dari jamnya udah dari semalem—"

"Iya gue udah baca, diemin aja."

Vazhimi and Robi exchanged a look. There was a strange stillness in Nuraga's energy. It shifted. The same man was smiling at the airport while they headed to KL because of Audy, now he ignored the message from the said girl like it was asking too much?

"Ga."

"Hm?"

"Something happened?"

Nuraga shook his head, but the awkwardness that follows spoke louder—he was probably back to his activating emotional boundaries self. He kept a straight face though, pretending not to notice the change of his friends' gestures. But inside? His brain was already hosting a crowded internal monologue.

He knew Audy's sweets tasted exactly like Maya's, exactly like it was carbon copy. The first time Nuraga had a bite it's as if he was time-traveling—he tasted Maya's cakes only he didn't, because it wasn't hers. But as much as finding Audy's cakes felt like finishing a quest since he'd been sweets huntering to different bakeries and failed finding the same taste, he knew he shouldn't mistake nostalgia for connection. That wouldn't be fair to Audy.

"Natapnya santai aja broski-broski." Nuraga said that at the end trying to make a joke—which failed miserably.

Well... Not great. The good vibes had clearly left the chat, both Robi and Vazhimi were giving Concerned Friend Faces. Actually, they have always felt a little tender when it comes to Nuraga. They knew the size of the hole Maya left behind. Maya was a huge part of his life—and honestly they've always understood. But, like... it's been years... three consecutive relationship and still yearning? That part never sits right with them—or maybe they just don't quite understand Nuraga just yet. That's why their faces were doing that weird thing—partly "Poor guy," partly "Dude, seriously?"

They could only sighed at the end. How do one shift Nuraga's mindset without making it look like they're trying though? The things about Nuraga is they can't just talk sense to him, you can't just tell Nuraga to catch feelings, you try to play cupid with him and that's the fastest way to give him the ick. Giving him advice? He'll nod and do exactly the opposite.

📱Coba puji-puji Audy depan Aga aja kali ya?

📲 Boleh. Bisa jadi dia kebawa baper

Vazhimi and Robi were texting each other under the table like undercover agents. Nuraga was already drown by the proposal by then.

📱 Lu aja yang ngomong coba Bi

📲 Eh lu aja Jim. Gua kaga kepikiran pujian lagi fokus ngedit ini deadline besok

📱 Kalo gua yang ngomong kek yang iya anjir

📲 Kan emang iya???

📱 Kaga bisa ngomong

📲 Bisu?

"Eh tapi kalo gua liat-liat si Audy-Audy itu lucu ya Ga gesturnya," Robi finally went for it. Waiting for Vazhimi would've taken all day. "Gemesin gitu kita kan sempet liat tuh pas dia bilang makasih udah lo puji kuenya enak," Robi was nervous his words came out half-rap half-mumble. "Kayak, tipe cewek lo banget nggak sih, Ga? Manjaaa gitu gemes—"

"Gemesan Maya kalo lagi manja."

Yeh.

Robi and Vazhimi let out an identical annoyed sigh—perfectly in sync.

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[nut-today]

Her Butterfly Era.

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"AAAKKKK!" Audy let out a dramatic squeak. Calm down, Audy. He only sent one chat, not a proposal.

Her iPad, currently playing I Love You by Celine Dion became the background music to her dance performance. A performance that involved a lot of spins. The room—an organized domination of pinks and blues—had been aggressively cleaned ten minutes ago, right after she sent what she now classified as a risky text. Post-text panic = instant deep cleaning. Glad Nuraga replied it playfully.

Rencana ke supermarket? Checked. Checklist of cookie ingredients had also already typed out in her Notes app. Tapi kayaknya cookies-nya nggak bakal dia bikin besok karena dia mau nunggu Nuraga balik dulu dari Malaysia. Biar bisa kasih langsung. Face to face. Heart to heart.

"Namanya juga usahaaa!" she declared triumphantly, still spinning like she was auditioning for KPop idol audition.

Her eyes landed on the wedding invitation list stuck on her bulletin board. Three to go. She giggled. What if she asked him to be her +1? He didn't ghost, cringe, or freak out over her flirty text, so yeah—Audy was pretty sure that was a green light from him. Sometimes we gotta shoot our shot fast, no? These days modern romance is a battlefield. Enemies could pop out of literally anywhere. What if Nuraga got another girl in Malaysia? Or worse... a whole folder of flirty girls waited for his reply one by one? Because let's be real, with his resume... real-world employees, thousands of online subscribers, international bookings... There's no way girls aren't lining up behind him like it's a Justin Bieber concert. That man is peak crush material.

"Tuhannnn pleaseee just this one time let me be the main characterrrr!!" Now Audy pleaded in front of her window, facing the sky. "He asked about me to his friend, that has to count for something!!! Pleaseee tolong jadiin Tuhan jadiinnnn!!!"

Drrrttt

Her phone buzzed with another message from Nuraga. One she hadn't seen. Audy flopped onto her bed, clutching her phone, heart racing, cheeks warm. OMG, she was so back. Welcome to her butterfly era!

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[nut-today]

She Likes Short Sleeves. She Liked Short Sleeves.

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The hotel room was quiet—one of those thick silences that usually made Nuraga felt lonelier than usual. But that afternoon was different. The dim yellow lamp on the bedside table didn't feel so dim. It felt golden. Warm.

He read Audy's text and studied the picture she sent. It wasn't supposed to mean much, just a simple sketch request from a client. But for some reason, it sparked joy in him. By the time he got to his hotel in Kuala Lumpur, he didn't even lie down or unpack—he went straight to the desk, pulled out his iPad, and started drawing like it was the only thing that made sense.

His hand moved on its own. He softened the chestline, adjusted the silhouette, and before he knew it, he had three versions of the sketch—each one drawn with almost obsessive detail. Normally, when a client asked for a design, he'd keep it simple, sketching casually just enough to get the idea across. But this time was different. His inner perfectionist—the one he'd lately redirected into growing his YouTube channel and managing Sew Ga's upcoming staff expansion—finally got a playground again.

He hadn't drawn for fun in what... Months? Years? He lost track. But that day sketching felt like breathing. And it felt... refreshing. His hand moved on its own—instinct, memory, something deeper. The room was quiet. He looked down at all of his designs. Each of them had different silhouettes, different details.

But the sleeves... all of them were short.

He blinked.

Maya always liked short sleeves. He wasn't even thinking about her, not consciously. But somehow she was there, as if a part of her had quietly guided his hand.

He sat still for a moment. The hum of the hotel air conditioner was the only sound in the room.

Drrrttt.

One new message from Audy.

Mas request dari saya pengennya lengan pendek yaaa tapi bukan sleeveless. makasiih

He froze.

His lips parted in disbelief, then grinned. What were the odds?

Maybe it was coincidence. Maybe it was something more. Either way, he felt... deja vu.

He then sent the sketch to her room chat. Some details didn't match what she had in mind. He revised them carefully—only for Audy to tell him he'd revised the wrong part. To avoid rounds of confusing revisions, they ended up on a video call. It was easier that way—Audy could just point to the screen and explain, and Nuraga could actually understand what she really wanted. Nuraga said his business phone battery had died, so they ended up doing video call using... his personal number. Did he just casually give it to her? Yes, his personal number. Just like that.

Unexpectedly, she was funny. And that turned out to be a fun call.

Audy was full of jokes—nothing like the more composed version of her he'd seen that morning. At one point she told him she thought he was this fifty-year-old tailor. Also she admitted she was kinda intimidated by him this morning, which made Nuraga questioned it in disbelieve. She wasn't the first person to say so. He then explained he never meant to seem cold, though his gestures always appeared to be quiet and straightforward.

Nuraga, on the other hand, happily steered the conversation back to Audy's cookies—oh, he really liked talking about them. His face even lit up a little. Audy grinned, clearly enjoying his reaction. She said she's baking tomorrow and will be dropping some off at his parents' place. Dan dia bercanda kalau dia tipe tukang masak cewek cantik sekaligus abang ganteng, "Mode pastry chef masak cookies bisa, mode abang-abang nasgor kaki lima bisa. Saya sih palugada."

Nuraga couldn't help but laugh. Lawakannya persis Maya!

Now he couldn't wait to get back to Indonesia. He hadn't had cookies like Maya's in so long, the last time Audy gave his family her cookies was last Ied and it felt like a lifetime ago.

The call ended. Then he received a text from her—it was playful, but it hit him in a strange, tangled way.

Eh mas ada yang marah gak kita videocall?

He couldn't shake the fear that Audy might end up like the three women before her, relationships that started with hope and ended badly. But this time, something was different. There was a piece of Maya in this, something he hadn't felt in any of the other relationships.

So, up until then, he still hadn't decided yet whether letting her in into his life was a good thing or not.

____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

[nut-today]

Some Called It An Emotional Layover

___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Nuraga chuckled at his friends' messages.

If that had happened a few years ago, he probably would've punched Robi for teasing him about his deceased girlfriend. But that grief wasn't sharp anymore now. It was... smoothed out. Familiar. Like a photograph he refused to delete.

His heart had gone through trial runs—three girls, three not-quite-relationships, all fizzling out before they could even begin. A part of him wanted to see if he could date again after Maya—his deceased girfriend. Turns out, he couldn't. Not yet at that time, at least. And while he felt bad about it, there wasn't much else he could've done.

Now here he was, sitting in the middle of a buzzing airport terminal, waiting for a flight and unexpectedly thinking about cookies.

Not just any cookies. Her cookies.

Audy.

What was it about her? The awkwardness? The way that girl lit up over someone finally complimenting her cookies? The fact that she said he was the first person to do that, he couldn't decide if he felt honored or mildly horrified on her behalf.

He was glad—no, relieved—he'd managed to see her before his flight. There was something about her—like a missing puzzle piece he'd lost. Her energy, her chatter—it was all oddly comforting. Or maybe it's because her cookies he'd been eating before even knowing she existed that gave her an unfair advantage. In his mind, he'd already decided she was warm and sweet and soft before even meeting her in person, and seeing her today proved him right.

The thing is, he tried dating. He'd tried trying. But this was the first time in a long time—maybe since Maya—that something felt... Familiar. Like they'd met years ago in a parallel life and were just picking up where they left off today. And maybe—just maybe—Audy had been nervous for meeting him too. There'd been this tiny tremble in her voice when they talked. Or maybe she was just naturally fidgety and he was overanalyzing everything so he didn't want to jump too deep into that one. One thing for sure: tiny bit inside his heart hoped she wasn't off the market.

He hated himself a little for the thought, but it was there. Because Audy's cookies, and the way Audy's eyes lit up when she realized he liked them.... it reminded him of her.

Of Maya.

Maya liked to bake, oh she liked baking cakes. And Audy's cookies tasted exactly like Maya's. The same texture, the same kick of chocolate, like they both used too much love and not enough measuring spoons. And the way Audy smiled? He'd seen it before. Not on her face—but in his memories.

Maybe that shouldn't even matter. And even though that chapter of his life had closed, meeting another person that brought that familiarity again felt like a footnote he wasn't expecting.

Tring!

Right on time, Audy's name popped up on his screen, sending him a message. Nuraga looked up at the sea of people passing by, then down at his phone again.

He smiled—big, soft, and maybe just a little confused.

This girl, somehow, managed to make his chest felt that weird warmth familiarity again. Exactly how Maya did it. Could someone carry a piece of someone else, though? Could grief be recycled like that—transferred through butter, sugar, and good intentions?

She felt like the second coming of Maya.

But he hadn't decided yet whether that was a good thing or not.

_________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

[nut-today]

She Remembered It Like A Warm Tea On A Cold Morning

__________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

"Wow."

His house was huge.

Like, ridiculously huge.

It looked like someone took three normal houses and decided to stitch them together just because they could. But what truly stunned her wasn't the size. It's neat! Every corner was perfectly arranged, nothing out of place. This place was—dare she say—curated. In front of the entrance, three mannequins stood like runway models under their own spotlight. Beside the door, there's a sleek little address sign read "Sew Ga"; Tasteful, minimalist. Completely insane that she'd never even heard of this place until last night. Dasar kurang bergaul!

Ding dong!

The doorbell rang twice.

And then there he was—Kusumo Danuraga standing behind the doorway.

Sesuai ekspektasi dia ganteng banget. Di atas ekspektasi gua ini mah!

His comma hair was perfectly styled in that "I woke up like this" way. Sleeves of a white shirt rolled up, blue jeans, and a hint of musk cologne that been sprayed a while ago.

"Mas udah mau pergi ya?" Audy nanya basa-basi akhirnya.

"It's okay we can make it quick."

Oh god. His voice.

Deep. Slightly raspy, straight out of a fragrance ad. Audy nearly forgot she was supposed to be impressed by his home interior and not his presence.

Tapi karena suaranya itu akhirnya Audy jadi bisa ngalihin fokus ke hal lain. Rumahnya bagus banget cok!

Penempatan meja-meja mesin jahit, warna dinding, sampe ke detail-detail gantungan benang Sew Ga buat Audy mikir karyawan pasti sering foto ala Instagram di sana.

Nuraga pun mulai bertanya tentang detail baju ke Audy layaknya orang yang mau jahit baju pada umumnya. Kapan bajunya mau diambil? Apa bahan yang dia punya dan apakah ada bahan lain yang mau jadi tambahan? Model apa yang Audy inginkan dan apa ada bagian yang mau Nuraga bantu untuk menyempurnakan bajunya nanti?

So detail. And Audy was mesmerized. As if that's not bare minimum for a tailor. Meh!

Udah selesai dengan urusan model baju, Audy pun mempertanyakan pertanyaan yang dari tadi berputar di kepalanya.

"Mas ini sendirian?"

"Iya."

Kok dia bela-belain nerima gue sih??!! Hati mungil Audy jadi berdesir.

"Tapi saya udah minta Ibu saya dateng. Saya bilang jam enam harusnya udah ada, tapi nggak tau kemana mungkin beli sayur dulu."

"Assalamualaikuumm...!" Di waktu yang sama ibu-ibu berumur lima puluh tahunan masuk ke rumah. "Oh ini yang anaknya Bu Atiqah ya..!!"

Patah deh kebahagiaan Audy berduaan di rumah doang sama Nuraga. Still she smiled big, though.

Mereka pun saling bercengkerama. Benar adanya si ibu berbelanja sayuran dilihat dari plastik-plastik berisi berbagai bahan masakan yang dibawanya, juga ia mengatakan bahwa ia bertemu dengan ibu Audy di tukang sayur tadi.

"Aduuuh perut saya sakit!! Saya ke toilet dulu ya udah nahan dari tadi!!"

Prett!!

"Mama!!"

"Sooorryyyy—" She shouted, already disappearing down the hallway.

Audy blinked, but she didn't mind. Her own mom had moments like that all the time. Plus, that fart didn't even smell. It was practically just... background music. That's why when Nuraga had his apology Audy just waved her hand, as if saying 'That's nothing!'.

"Ukuran lingkar pinggang dll udah tau belum Mba? Biar nggak usah diukur lagi."

Measure me sir. Matanya terbelalak mendengar monolog otaknya barusan. Gaje lu.

Pasti karena tekanan dari teman-temannya yang udah pada nikah nih, pikiran Audy jadi kemana-mana.

By the time Nuraga asked her to stand up for measurements, Audy was already on edge. She stood there, arms slightly lifted, heart pounding like she was about to confess her sins instead of just getting her waist measured. Nuraga, of course, was the image of professionalism. Calm. Focused. Tape measure in hand, no eye contact, he moved with practiced ease. Just a quiet "Santai aja" and a few notes jotted down on his book.

But there was something so unnerving about having a handsome man kneel in front of her and wrap a soft measuring tape around her waist. Even if it was 100% professional. Every time the tape brushed her back or slid around her waist, she internally screamed. This is casual. This is NORMAL. Jangan norak, Audy!

By the time they were done, Audy was silently thanking the universe. Still no sign of Bu Aminah. Or maybe she was doing it on purpose? Maybe the matchmaking spirit in her head sensed something? Who knows. But let's be real, Audy hoped Nuraga's mom would take her sweet time in the bathroom. Maybe a whole spa session, even.

Audy nggak yakin Nuraga tertarik dengan keberadaan dia karena wajah cowok itu flat. Tapi Audy berterima kasih banget karena dia emang butuh baju itu untuk jadi cepet. Dia pun bilang kalo temennya ngasih baju ini dadakan.

She was about to leave when Nuraga peeked into the bag, just checking the material—and then his eyes caught something. A small card tucked inside: Joan & Kristanto.

His eyes widened. "Oh—Kristanto's my friend. I'm invited too."

Wait—WHAT?!

WHAT?!

What were the odds? Audy kan dari kemaren nyari +1, and now suddenly—bam! This man, this comma-haired tailor, was also invited? Audy blinked. Without even her realizing she's already making up stories inside her head.

Until he said, "Tapi saya nggak bisa dateng sih."

Jah.

Still, they chatted a little about their overlapping circles—how small the world could feel sometimes—and eventually, Audy knew it was time to go. Though she didn't want to.

There was something cozy about that place, like it had a warm cinnamon scent even if it didn't. And she didn't know if it was the lighting, the threads, or the quiet way Nuraga worked—but she wanted to stay just a bit longer.

She was halfway out the door when—

"Audy," Nuraga called.

She turned. "Ya?"

He stood there at the entrance, framed by the giant wooden door, backlit by soft morning light. His expression was unreadable, but his voice—

"I really love the cookies you made. I believe kalo dijadiin bisnis pasti laku—at least saya sendiri mau beli. Let me know if you ever take pre-orders."

Ihhhh??!!

IIhhhhh??!!?!?

Kue gue dipuji sebegitunyaaa???!?!

The words hit her like warm tea on a cold morning. Sweet. Unexpected. And deeply, deeply effective. Audy felt her face break into a full crescent-moon smile. Her whole body wiggled like a puppy getting belly rubs. She couldn't help it.

"Mas sumpah sweet bangeeetttt!!!"

Nuraga blinked in quiet confusion.

He'd meant to say it. That was the whole reason he'd insisted on seeing her this morning despite his packed schedule. Her cookies were always good. Really good. Not just the taste—the packaging too. He could tell the person who made them really loved doing it.

He liked sweets. That's the reason why he named his tailor shop Sew Ga—a play on the word sugar. Not many people knew that.

That's also the reason why there was no flirtation in his tone while complimenting Audy's cookies. No hidden message. Just a genuine compliment. But now here she was, glowing like a Christmas light, squirming from joy. In that moment they looked like a scene from an anime—the stoic male lead and the overly expressive heroine with sparkles in her eyes.

"I'll make some more for you—"

"No no I'll pay—"

"Nggak usah Mas sebagai tanda terima kasih saya—"

"Thank you for what?"

"Makasih udah dipuji! Kue saya nggak pernah dipuji kayak barusan—"

Tin tin!!

Saat itu klakson mobil Vazhimi mengganggu percakapan mereka, membuat baik Audy dan Nuraga menoleh ke sumber suara.

"Ooh ini yang namanya Audy!!" Di dalam mobil sudah ada Robi juga. Rupanya sengaja Vazhimi menjemput teman yang satu itu dulu sebelum ke rumah Nuraga, agar memberi waktu lebih lama pikirnya.

Mereka siapa? Audy bertanya dalam hati.

"Mba Audy kuenya enak banget kata Mas Aga—"

"Diomongin Mba di grupchat kita semalem—"

"Reweeeellll!!!!" Nuraga langsung memotong ledekan teman-temannya itu sebelum ada ucapan aneh lebih jauh.

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________

[nut-today]

Ishikawa Yuki, captain of Ryujin Nippon, and my heart

[nut-today]

Wendy: We’re playing Scrabble. It’s a nightmare.

Hoseok: Scrabble? Scrabble’s great.

Wendy: Not when you’re playing with Namjoon, it’s not. He puts words like “ephemeral”. And I put “dog”.

[nut-today]

how to go from soft to rude with a snapback

[nut-today]

@: hwa yang yeon h— me: 

[nut-today]

hobi plz

[nut-today]

the horror in his eyes