nutbanana

[nutbanana]

*   ☾  ◞    @mvgpies​     /      closed.

UMEKO:  kittyyyyyyyyy UMEKO:  pspspspspsps UMEKO:  kitty 💞💞💞💞 UMEKO:  how have u been doing so farrrrr <3 UMEKO:  have u slipped yet?? UMEKO:  pls do let j know i very much hate it here and i want his head on a silver plate for this 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺

[nutbanana]

neonlvght‌:

; * 𝙽𝙾𝚆 𝚂𝚃𝚁𝙴𝙰𝙼𝙸𝙽𝙶 …  ft. @nutbanana ! 

𝐓𝐇𝐄   𝐃𝐀𝐘   seemed   to   get   more   and   more   ridiculous   as   time   went   on,   and   nori   is   found   searching   the   mansion   for   one   of   the   people   he   knows   will   not   drive   him   absolutely   insane.      first   however,   he   wants   to   find   the   liquor   stash   and   pour   himself   a   hefty   glass   of   something   dark   and   warm   in   his   stomach   that   will   possibly   knock   him   out   for   the   next   couple   hours.   he’s   opening   random   doors   at   this   point,   fingers   locking   around   the   chain   secured   around   his   neck   and   dangling   against   his   partially   nude   chest.   “   would   it   kill   someone   to   point   us   directly   toward   the   fucking   liquor   cabinet   ?   what’s   the   point   of   a   giant   mansion   if   it’s   just   full   of   useless   shit.   ”   nori   complains,   echoing   his   words   with   a   side   kick   to   a   random   box   of   who   knows   what   the   fuck.   “   jesus   i   miss   my   house   already.   ”   ringed   digits   push   open   another   door,   this   time   finding   himself   no   longer   alone   and   face   to   face   with   umeko.   immediately,   he   brightens,   hands   raised   to   the   ceiling.   “   at   last,   the   lady   of   the   hour.   and   looking   quite   1940’s   hollywood   glamour   if   i   do   say   so   myself,   a   stunning   look   on   you,   as   most   things   are.   ”   he   compliments,   coming   to   settle   himself   in   the   middle   of   the   room.   “   you   wouldn’t   happen   to   know   where   the   liquor   cabinet   is   in   this   gargantuan   prison,   do   you   ?   ”

see, umeko told her relatives she was going on a detox, stress - relieving sort of trip with location undisclosed and reach limited as to why, exactly, she’s stepping out of the radar ( perfect cover - up, even when it stinks of classic story thrown to media outlets when your fave goes to rehab ), but her excuse may not be working so well here ─── the only thing that dump could detox is the life out of you, if you get lucky. she is but sauntering around the halls now, aimlessly, absentminded, choosing to focus on the swirl of her robe over the impending fate in store for her skin ( rich girl problems, alec would rightfully say ). it’s almost out of a movie, the way the door opens the moment she’s facing it amid her twirling, and there’s a small sensation akin to a deer caught in the headlights, eyes a bit wide and lips pursed forward for a second. quickly replaced by a coquette smile, she enunciates.  “ if this really were the 40s, i’d be friends with marilyn monroe, or even the legend herself. ”  body rests against the frame of the door for a moment, cheek pressed against the dorse of her hand.  “ hm... i don’t know about liquor, but i do know where the wine is. come ! ”  arm reaches out, fingers holding onto his wrist to drag him behind.  “ the liquor should be close to the wine, but i also think the owner is mentally insane enough to do the opposite of normal, so, pray. ”

[nutbanana]

Sana - fancy (191004)

[nutbanana]

*   ☾  ◞    @luckythieves​     /      closed.

umeko finds herself in the living room with aspen, fingers aimlessly threading through the short locks of hair and eyes following the scrolling of her phone, expression bored. it’s late into the am’s and she feels the earlier alcohol performing its final act ─── drowsy, and a bit tipsy, lightheaded. the screen in her hands started mattering little when her intoxicated mind started trailing somewhere far away from there. would they make it to tomorrow morning ? she’s not sure the roof above them & the squalid walls supporting it will last enough, and she’s ready to haunt j for eternity if he lets her die in a place like that. a neon pink iguana may not be so possible, but clouds turn pink and she ( the alcohol in her system ) is sure then they taste like cotton candy so dots were connected there ( they were not ) . her psyche then detours a little towards the boy next to her ──second time she thinks about the people around her today, she has to get that in check asap──, and she’s there, halfway to lay on top of him to indulge her inhebriated brain with some pondering when a ping! and the incoming message force her to halt.  “ oh my god, this slut. ”  eyes blink away what remaining sleep, hand patting his thigh a couple of times.  “ aspen, you have to see this. ”  fingers hold onto the hem of his shirt, expectantly.  “ frodo bitch─ ”  freda, frodo.  “ ─thinks she got me, but she’s like, too stupid. seriously. i know she’s just accusing me because she’s obsessed and blames me of everything, this isn’t new, like at all. ”  she’s relaxed ─── her plan was perfect, and she knows aspen doesn’t mess up. if it were any other time it wouldn’t bug her at all, she can outsmart richardson ten times, pull the threads and put up an act, it’s so easy to her, but now, current situation in mind, the threat of going to the tabloids sure is a pressure on her.  “ so ? what do we do ? ”

[nutbanana]

anw umeko has a life long feud w this other socialité named freda nandy nd u can read more abt it on her intro bc i’m 2 lazy to make her pages aha x but the gist is she brings out the unusual ugly side of umeko they hate each other’s guts nd have been doing each other dirty since they were little, but nandy made umeko lose a minor role in a movie so she was like yeah ? then ur getting robbed by aspen bitch <3 also i added a second headcanon,,, umi’s ex cheated on her so she stole five of his girlfriends ❤️

[nutbanana]

marblelies·.

                           she,  and  alec  has  learned  this  very  early  in  their  friendship,   is  extremely  hard  to  ignore.  she’s  also  very  hard  to  say  no  to,  but  he  blames  that  on  his  own  weak  will  when  it  comes  to  her,  rather  than  on  whatever  skills  she  has.  the  redhead  looks  ridiculously  out  of  place  in  the  dusty  little  room  and  he  would  love  to  point  that  out  to  her  too,  if  he  hasn’t,  in  fact,  developed  a  deadly  fear  of  stilettos.  he  sends  her  a  dirty  look  from  the  other  side  of  the  room  as  he  arranges  his  yu-gi-oh  collection  on  one  of  the  empty  shelves,  silently  mourning  his leather  jacket.   ‘   maybe.   ’   alec  answers,  suspicion  rising  in  him  at  the  tone  of  her  voice,   carefully  placing  the  final  card  (  dragon  master  knight,  collectors  edition  ),  before  turning  around  to look  at  her.  he  fishes  out  the  crumpled  up  cigarette  box  from  the  back  pocket  of  his  jeans,  shaking  his  head  at  her  in  disbelief  but  is  unable  to  hide  the  small  smile  tugging  on  the  corners  of  his  lips.   ‘   a   neon  pink  iguana  ?  i’m  pretty  sure  that’s  called  animal  abuse.  i  can  get  you  a  regular  iguana  though  and  you  can  ask  nori  to  dye  it  pink  for  you.  like  that,  i  will  have  nothing  to  do  with  the  illegal  part.   ’ 

umeko can’t help but follow with curious & judging eyes the ritual taking place in front of her. she has never sat down to ponder about it ( or anything else, for that matter. thinking too much is not her thing and she’s got no time for a life - changing mental breakdown ) , but she has absolute no idea how two people like them ended up getting along, much less being best friends. zero. she’s a rich, perhaps a bit ( too ) spoiled girl whose only problems are the stunt she’s going to pull next and what louis vuitton bag goes better with her outfit, and he’s... well, he’s a former street rat now full time weeb who spends all his newfound money on collecting cards she doesn’t quite understand. they’re like lady and the tramp, but without the spaghetti kiss, or the unwanted kids, or the romance. are bonnie and clyde a better example ? she has no idea, but whatever helps define their inexpicable dynamic. his answer, though, has her getting brutally forced out of her trance, and she’s sure her face has shown five different emotions in two seconds flat.  “ dye the ig─ what !?”  she’s so baffled she has to sit on the bed and process it all ─── and she doesn’t know what’s worse, the implications of abuse or─  “ you want to give me a FAKE neon pink iguana !? are you out of your mind ? who─ what !?”  horror is painted all over her face. she must be going insane.  ” first of all─”  a deep intake of air, a pinch to the bridge of her nose & a death glare pointed at alec.  “ give me fake anything and i’m calling the cops.”  she’d rather die.  “ secondly !? you’re crazy. crazy ! why was your first thought dying the poor animal ! i want an authentic neon pink iguana, it has to exist ! i can’t believe you just─ animal abuse and a fake ? you’re insane.”  it’s dramatic, but it’s a genuine kind of dramatic. umeko saito genuinely, truthfully cannot believe what was just spoken in front of her.

[nutbanana]

[nutbanana]

Prada heart hair clips

[nutbanana]

*   ☾  ◞    @momentsilence​​     /      closed.

it didn’t take umeko long to discard her original attire to stroll around what she believes to be the devil’s summer residence in her favourite crimson fur robe, the most unsullied blanket she could find in one hand ( alec’s coat is on a well deserved break, or so she says ), and glass of wine on the other. cheap wine, she was sure of it, yet the thick layer of dust covering the bottle serving as an indicator of the time spent locked in that house gifted her with a silver lining ─── it’s broke wine, but it’s also old wine ! one has to outweigh the other. simple math. what alcohol is in her isn’t quite cutting it, though, and she’s bored. extremely so. but her eye─ oh, her eye ! it catches a face she’s not quite sure she knows, a pretty and sharp countenance that should work as a distraction, if only temporary. so she leaves her spot on the worn couch, promptly trailing after the dark locks of hair. arm reaches out, a soft pat to her harm.  “ hey ! ”  her smile is charming, eyes coquette.  “ i don’t think we have met before, have we ? ”  a tilt to her head and a faint raise of eyebrows compliment her inquiry.  “ i’m umeko saito, designated pretty face to keep eyes away from the heist. you ? ” she takes a long sip of the carmine beverage, curious eyes roaming her up and down.

[nutbanana]

*   ☾  ◞    @marblelies​      /      closed.

clad from head to toe in prada, the single colored raven attire and the extravagant butterfly glasses never felt more fitting ─── umeko felt like she just arrived at her fucking funeral. now more than ever before, and above everything else, she’s a princess. what was she supposed to do, make friends with the rats she’s sure are waiting inside to eat them ? develop severe asthma ? was there even a tv in that hovel ? for the first time in history, she’s contemplating entertaining alec’s dweeb endeavours and play yu-gi-oh with him.  “ alec. ”  voice comes from the bed ( alec’s bed ), where she’s dramatically splayed on top of a long coat ( alec’s coat. she’s not letting her clothes touch anything ) with legs hanging off the border.  “ you can get anyone anything they ask for, right ? ”  curiosity ──curiosity she satiated long ago── prompts her to lay on her stomach, hands resting crossed atop the bed & chin perked up.  “ what if i ask for something impossible right now. like, what if i ask for a neon pink iguana ? would you be able to get it ? ”  a pause, words following it coming in pouty.  “ i really want a neon pink iguana. ”

[nutbanana]

dude what if we 😳 i fucking killed you?

[nutbanana]

a goddess!

[nutbanana]

[nutbanana]

haha whewwwwwww sis slap zimzalabim gays hello laid ease ! name is yuno title is local ghosting legend pronouns r she/her nd we are stuck with nutbanana until i come up w a sexie url <3 this is gna be new for those of u who know me but i’m gna be putting everything into a read more for now instead of slapping 3 links nd calling it a day so hold my hand 😳😳 and for those of u who don’t know me i have two hands for a Reason haha,, nd my disco is @ daddy yankee#7776 ! add me let’s go feral nd if u wna plot send me ur favorite heart emoji here or on disco <3

*   //   𝙻𝙾𝙰𝙳𝙸𝙽𝙶  𝙿𝚁𝙾𝙵𝙸𝙻𝙴 …   /𝚃𝙷𝙴 𝙲𝙾𝙽𝙼𝙰𝙽/𝚃𝙷𝙴 𝙳𝙸𝚂𝚃𝚁𝙰𝙲𝚃𝙸𝙾𝙽 : umeko saito, also known as hermes, is wanted for grand larceny. she is a twenty two year old female who has ties to the mastermind because of a charity event she was the face of.   𝙰𝚂𝚂𝙾𝙲𝙸𝙰𝚃𝙴𝙳 𝚆𝙸𝚃𝙷  : expensive fancy dresses, flirty stares from across the room, signing with red lipstick, a glass of champagne with diamonds in it. 𝙳𝙾 𝙽𝙾𝚃 𝙼𝙸𝚂𝚃𝙰𝙺𝙴 𝙵𝙾𝚁  : minatozaki sana.

01.    background info.

pinterest board ─── umeko saito, twenty two, up-and-coming actress, doesn’t like to label her orientation, would definitely be part of cherry twitter

full list of aesthetics so far ( core to what shaped her ) : eating fruit on a balcony in your silk pyjamas, signing with red lipstick, strap of your dress snapping, flirty stares from across the room, a glass of champagne with diamonds in it, cherries seductively held between lips, expensive fancy dresses

umeko was born and raised into one of the most expensive neighborhoods in manhattan, daughter to a magnate and a socialité nobody thought would get too far together. luxury was the norm from the get go, and the low profile kept by her parents didn’t quite make their name go unnoticed among the elite of new york. summers were spent in the hamptons and on expensive trips, walk-in wardrobe stranger to everything below high-end and glasses of champagne coming in early

stardom was always in the back of her head. she loves being the center of attention, all eyes on her for as long as she can attrack them, and so the hunger only grew bigger the older she got. in her young, twisted mind, there wasn’t anything more eternal than the ineradicable link between character and actor, and she loves playing the role. the first real taste of fame came only a few years ago, and it became insatiable almost insantly. she’s been on the rise ever since and has scored quite a few big roles to be proud of

j came into the picture at a point in umeko’s life where she was having fun, but it wasn’t enough. something more exciting, more thrilling was missing. and so they met at a charity event where rich people feel like they’re contributing something to society by bidding big money for famous paintings where umeko was one of the faces of said event. she did not hesitate to join him. after all, it makes her feel like she’s playing an even bigger, more dangerous role

her code name has a lot to do with her as a person ! as a lil taste before getting to it, initially, it was going to be loki, the most infamous trickster, but she felt it gave too much away too fast, and although she felt it was the perfect code name, she opted for someone whose trickster label got overshadowed by more important duties, and so it came to be hermes, who, in a way, is also perfect for her

02.    personality breakdown.

umeko is........ an experience. she may be fun she may be chaotic

umeko saito’s biggest role is life itself, and she will die a legend or risk becoming a fraud. she was born yearning for attention, and she was born a trickster. she has always been manipulative, loved fooling and playing with people and twisting the narrative of herself, enamouring ( trapping ) others, a strange desire to be the dream girl. and she took it upon herself to make the world her personal stage. and maybe she has played the role for so long she has lost a bit of herself on the way, who knows !

everybody’s sweetheart, looks like a saint ─── yet is the devil holding a halo above their head. she loves to stir shit up, always up to something. won’t hesitate to create a scene if it’s needed, asked of her or solely because she’s bored. a lot of her boils down to being, getting bored. she’s a bit batshit, a bit unhinged <3

umeko is flirty. she likes to flirt, it’s fun, it’s another way to fool people, it’s entertaining, it feeds onto this being the girl of people’s dreams thing. it gets her things and opens ways for her, and she thrives off getting people hooked on her, specially men who think they got a chance with her ( they don’t )

she acts like a bimbo and surely looks like it but may not be one. or maybe she is. she could be a baby bimbo. an oblivious bimbo who plays the role of bimbo in real life. you decide because i can’t JKDGVDS

she’s dramatic to the v bone in more ways than one, loves bringing attention to herself and playing dumb, playing clumsy, an airhead, and she’s a bit of everything ( dumb, clumsy, airhead ), but she knows how to exaggerate it to her gain. u won’t catch her calling herself any of that tho

there really isn’t a big scheme, a big story, a trauma behind umeko’s behavior, some people are simply born certain way and she thrives off being this antagonistic, trickster being just because

03.    headcanons.

she lives by herself in a duplex penthouse located on the top floor somewhere in manhattan, she bought it with her first big paycheck. she also has a smaller ( to...... her standards ) apartment she got for her 18th birthday from her parents, and it’s where she takes flings or people who aren’t that close to her as not to disclose her real home

she’s the type to break the strap of her dress before walking out of a store with paparazzis waiting outside for her and pose like she’s marilyn monroe fighting against a burst of air with her white dress, and she’s like “omg no ! the strap of my snapped ! what to do ! don’t take pics or maybe do aha x”

most definitely checks tabloids and stuff after she pulls one of those numbers to grab attention so she can see the reactions And the pics. also probably has a neat instagram feed

she’s the epitome of “all girls do is 🥺🥺🥺🥺” and “girls always trynna ‘🥺🥺🥺‘ their way out of everything”. that’s her

loves cute two pieces pyjamas. silk ones, velvet ones, lace ones, and especially the see-through robes with fur you pair up with cute lingerie and pieces. when at home she’s usually in those, long robe big fur glass of wine in hand, and if not she’s wearing an expensive baddie dress she has no business wearing for no reason

she enjoys dating on and off, having flings, random sex. usually nothing too serious and without too many strings to get tangled in. would she be able to commit ? yes, probably, she daydreams about it sometimes, but it wouldn’t be so easy

despite umeko’s passion for creating a scene and stirring up the pot, she isn’t mean, nor is she someone who is found in conflicts or fights often, if at all. she tends to get along well with everyone ─── she’s playful, a bit crazy, and fairly outgoing. she’s nice despite all her antics. but there is one person that brings out the worst of her, though: nandy freda richardson, fellow new york city socialité with a shared feud going twenty years strong ! they have known each other since they were little and it has kept escalating ever since 💔 it ranges from petty, insignificant antics to more serious, real shit stuff. the catalyst ? nandy somehow managing to make umeko lose a minor role on a small movie she was really anticipating. umeko’s response ? selling her out to aspen when he came asking for more intel on rich people he could rob: she gave him all the information he needed, carefully crafted a foolproof plan then gifted aspen an all - expenses luxury vacation to a destination of his choice <3 umeko was like yeah ? ok i lose my role and you lose your safety money and that one of a kind dress i wanted aha x

when she was sixteen her then boyfriend cheated on her with some chick. the lad pulled the infamous move of playing single and messing with the girl’s heart, so she was unaware of their relationship and was left as mortified as umeko. umeko, though, felt humiliated and, above everything, disrespected, and she also felt for the other girl who was just as much a victim as herself. so umeko made sure he regretted even thinking of disgracing their worth and set for revenge: over the span of a few years she snatched five consecutive girlfriends, one after the other <3 she also kept a good relationship with the girl he cheated on her with

[nutbanana]

tag dump.

❛      𝐲𝐮𝐧𝐨.𝐩𝐝𝐟      /      vibe check.

❛      𝐮𝐦𝐞𝐤𝐨 𝐬𝐚𝐢𝐭𝐨      /      edits.

❛      𝐮𝐦𝐞𝐤𝐨 𝐬𝐚𝐢𝐭𝐨      /      inbox.

❛      𝐮𝐦𝐞𝐤𝐨 𝐬𝐚𝐢𝐭𝐨      /      threads.

❛      𝐮𝐦𝐞𝐤𝐨 𝐬𝐚𝐢𝐭𝐨      /      iphone.

❛      𝐮𝐦𝐞𝐤𝐨 𝐬𝐚𝐢𝐭𝐨      /      meta.

❛      𝐮𝐦𝐞𝐤𝐨 𝐬𝐚𝐢𝐭𝐨      /      tasks.

❛      𝐮𝐦𝐞𝐤𝐨 𝐬𝐚𝐢𝐭𝐨      /      memes.

❛      𝐮𝐦𝐞𝐤𝐨 𝐬𝐚𝐢𝐭𝐨      /      study.

❛      𝐮𝐦𝐞𝐤𝐨 𝐬𝐚𝐢𝐭𝐨      /      aesthetics.

❛      𝐮𝐦𝐞𝐤𝐨 𝐬𝐚𝐢𝐭𝐨      /      mirror.

❛      𝐮𝐦𝐞𝐤𝐨 𝐬𝐚𝐢𝐭𝐨      /      apparel.

❛      𝐮𝐦𝐞𝐤𝐨 𝐬𝐚𝐢𝐭𝐨      /      instagram.

❛      𝐮𝐦𝐞𝐤𝐨 𝐬𝐚𝐢𝐭𝐨      /      twitter.

❛      𝐮𝐦𝐞𝐤𝐨 𝐬𝐚𝐢𝐭𝐨      /      alec moon.

❛      𝐮𝐦𝐞𝐤𝐨 𝐬𝐚𝐢𝐭𝐨      /      yuna seong.