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Rimmer does act like an officer when it really counts. Like how he takes charge of situations to find a solution (even when sometimes he’s out for himself).

Like how in Bodyswap, he takes charge and firmly warns Lister and the Cat not to touch anything that could set off the self-destruct sequence. Also like in D.N.A where he’s reading out numbers to Kryten. And in White Hole when he got the crew to vote instead of argue about whether Lister or Holly should deal with the White Hole.

Rimmer is mostly right in Holoship where he was saying that he is practically an officer by nature but not by name. And that he should be one. Course he shouldn’t because in the episode, Officer Rimmer, showed us why he shouldn’t be one at all.

He is worthy of an officer title but lacks the compassion and level-headedness to stay as one.

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Rimmer is not adverse to physical fights if it means he doesn’t get hurt. Like in Gunmen of the Apocalypse, he had a whole tavern fistfight and unafraid to throw punches there. Granted he had character special skills, but it gave him confidence. Especially when he asked Lister beforehand if he could get hurt in the game.

Another instance would be in Stasis Leak where Rimmer decided to kick Captain Hollister in a delicate area cus he thought it was a mushroom hallucination. Thinking there would be no consequences on his person.

Which makes me think, Rimmer could be an assertive strong person if he wasn’t scared of getting hurt and also if he didn’t suck up to superiors. The man is capable of defending himself, he just needs a push to stop fearing consequences on himself. He does possess the power to be confident but not the help.

Which makes me think of a little headcannon where Lister teaches Rimmer self-defence so he won’t be afraid to protect himself physically instead of selling out everyone around him. (Which could’ve helped Rimmer to become an effective Ace in the future).

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Got another weird idea that popped into my head. A Red Dwarf Monsters Inc AU.

Okay hear me out, I’ve been watching the movie recently and the idea came about. Basically Lister is Sulley and Rimmer is Mike Wazowski. (I’m basing this more on personality similarities rather than height).

I’m gonna base this around Season 8 where the rest of the crew are back to life. The premise would be that Red Dwarf would need more energy to run on since its supporting a full crew again and because they’re stranded 3 million years into space as well. So they send out the canaries (prison inmates) to get more energy on their missions.

So like Monsters Inc maybe they get their energy from screaming GELF children or something else that somehow produces energy. The storyline would go like Monsters Inc but Red Dwarf where a little toddler GELF or something stowaway with Rimmer and Lister.

Then they spend the whole time trying to get it back home whilst bickering like an old married couple with a kid. Maybe there’s a plot about taking the GELF children from their homes, like in the movie, where Captain Hollister is involved (like Waternoose). Ackerman can be Randall and Yvonne McGruder can be Celia. (Let me know how other characters could fit in).

I thought of this idea because Monsters Inc is work based and I thought Red Dwarf would fit perfectly in it. (Totally did not watch Monsters Inc over and over again this week) Plus I could think out an idea for Monsters University too.

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Would Ace look like one of Rimmer’s brothers by any chance. It would make sense why Rimmer hates Ace so much. Cus he resembles one of the people who had been better than him his whole life.

It wouldn’t be Howard, but could be John or Frank. Most likely Frank cus he resembles Rimmer most as we saw in Timeslides. Literally a spitting image.

And it makes me wonder how it would of freaked out Rimmer when he saw Ace die in Stoke Me A Kipper cus it would be like watching one of his own brothers die. (Yes we saw it in Holoship, but let’s imagine for a moment for some angst). It would be pretty damn traumatic to witness that. Probably why Rimmer couldn’t think of anything to say.

He saw himself die already, maybe a few times, so he was probably used to that already. But a family member would be a different matter even when Rimmer hated them in life.

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There are so many things to talk about Marooned that the list is endless. But one of things I like to point out is how Lister was trying to console Rimmer to grip life while he has it (even tho he is literally dead).

Just one of those rare moments where Lister is trying to help Rimmer to be a better man. Even tho it’s a bit futile. He points out to Rimmer that the reason why he wants to believe that he is Alexander the Great’s chief eunuch cus he’s unhappy with his life.

I wonder what Rimmer would’ve replied back with the meteor hitting them.

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Yvonne McGruder is an absolute strong woman. Besides from being the ship’s boxing champion, she was ready to have a relationship with Rimmer. With all his neuroses and absolute chaos of a mind.

Even Rimmer said in Last Human that she was a put together woman. Going so far to say that: ‘She’s a remarkable woman. A truly gorgeous and remarkable woman.’ Showing how Rimmer admired Yvonne for raising Michael on her own and even spared the truth about him so Michael would admire Rimmer growing up.

The sad reality of what could have been is so heartbreaking and I will never stop being upset about it. Yvonne and Arnold would’ve been great together I believe.

Better Than Life is an exaggerated way of looking at their relationship but I think they would be unstoppable together with their fiery spirits. Arnold with organising and Yvonne with fighting. Michael is such a lucky child to have those parents. (Even with Rimmer being a pain in the ass most of the time).

No cus literally the book dangles this spark of hope, but rips it away from us. Just let Rimmer be happy with a life and family. I still wonder what kind of life the three of them would have if Yvonne and Arnold just called eachother. It would’ve been bittersweet and I would’ve read or watch the heck out of it.

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The bit in the Inquisitor where Rimmer is said that his life has meaning. Which I find interesting even though he doesn’t completely think so himself.

Plus the Inquisitor questions Rimmer even though he is a hologram, so technically there was no ‘life’ to judge in the first place. But then again Kryten was judged too so all electronic life forms get judged equally too.

So it is proven in some weird way that Rimmer’s life has meaning but he either won’t accept that or forgotten due to the timey wimey stuff with the Inquisitor’s glove. Someone needs to remind that poor man that his life has meaning since he took charge of it after going through his upbringing.

Like what he said to the Inquisitor (himself). That he had to make do with what he started with so he had to build meaning for himself (even if it was being selfish and annoying for most of it).

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If I was good at writing fanfiction I would be believe I would come up with decent AUs to write about. The idea is there but my execution of it would be terrible honestly. (The person writing the Wall-E AU is an absolute genius)

One idea I have in mind is a Corpse Bride AU. A retelling of the story but with Red Dwarf characters basically. This is based on the sole fact that Rimmer is dead. That’s it. The synopsis will be: Lister accidentally marrying Rimmer when he should be marrying Kochanski.

Rimmer may not like the marriage either but one should obey the protocol (that would be his excuse). I think the Lord that replaces Lister in marrying Kochanski and that killed Rimmer should be Todhunter (for the lack of other options). The Cat should be the singing skeleton telling Rimmer’s tale and Kryten should either be the cab driver or Elder Goodnick (the very old skeleton).

I’m not a good writer so I’ll be crap at trying to make this but I just wanted to share just in case cus this fandom is full of wonderful writers.

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Lister is said to be scared of tarantulas (Terrorform) so in my head, I’m thinking he may be a little scared of all spiders big and small.

Even if not, I just like to imagine that before the radiation leak, Rimmer had to get rid of spiders in the bunk room cus Lister was scared of them. After the radiation leak, the spiders either died out or mutated so Lister had to face them since Rimmer couldn’t anymore. I guess Kryten would take over that role. But I think my original idea was cute and funny.

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The way that Rimmer just snaps in Waiting for God when Lister is talking about the cat religion and how he doesn’t want to be their God.

I don’t know what it is but something stands out to me in that episode like somehow Rimmer is really taking it to heart that Lister is whinging on about being God. And saying that iconic that I love rewatching: ‘I didn’t asked to be killed Lister. Life’s a bitch, now smeg off I’m busy.’

In the context of Rimmer flipping out, he was trying to find aliens so he can maybe get a body again. Maybe it was stressing him out therefore exploding in front of Lister. Maybe cus he had his own troubles but Lister was dumping his own troubles on top of it.

I think in the show’s timeline it has only been a couple months of them stranded in space and Rimmer is not entirely used to being a hologram yet. Granted he shouldn’t take his anger out on Lister but it could explain a bit of why he did. Especially when Rimmer got offended when Lister called the whole alien thing: ‘tot’.

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Watching Rimmer in Krysis is like watching a wine aunt at any formal occasion. In the Nova 3 when getting the tour by Butler, look at him with his glass of champagne and smug face as he makes little sniping comments about Kryten.

In fairness that’s what Rimmer is usually like normally and he barely touched that drink but I just like that he has champagne in his hand so he sort of has an excuse as he make jabs at Kryten. Needing Lister to tell him off a bit and pull him aside to try to get him to behave a little to help Kryten (course it doesn’t work).

I think as Rimmer grew older he became the combination of a wine aunt and grumpy grandfather, making him a bit of a juxtaposition. A grumpy grandfather because of how he told Kryten to ‘turn that thing off’ when Kryten played music from his speakers in Krysis.

Rimmer is that kind of relative who complains at family functions with a whole bottle of wine in one hand and a wineglass in the other.

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I don’t know if anyone has mentioned this before but I quite like the idea of a Red Dwarf version of A Christmas Carol.

Rimmer obviously being the Scrooge personality character in the story. Because idk it just… fits you know.

The Marley ghost character could be someone from the old Red Dwarf crew. (Well any one of them could be electronic ghosts like Rimmer really). For this example I can’t choose between George McIntyre or Frank Todhunter. Either way Rimmer won’t be friendly in their presence as they warn him to live death better I guess.

Ghost of Christmas Past: Kryten because he can access Rimmer’s memories and talk him through how he was as a child who was normally unloved and always studying. A bit like Scrooge’s upbringing. I would like to think the Belle character would be Nirvanah Crane cus Rimmer’s tragic love story has to be there somewhere.

Ghost of Christmas Present: Cat because of his sheer energy and I believe he would be the most festive out of any of the Red Dwarf crew. Maybe the Cat will show Rimmer the other members making fun of him behind his back. Nothing new but it would still hurt. And probably show a scene of Lister struggling to get through another Christmas being stranded in space. Making Rimmer realise he is not the only one having problems with the holiday.

Ghost of Christmas Future: Lister because he would have so much fun with it. He would probably show a version of the future selves like in the Out of Time episode and how they all turned immoral and greedy. Making Rimmer realise he doesn’t want to turn out that way. Besides he had said before: ‘better dead than smeg’. Probably the hitting blow of changing him to be a bit better. (For a little while at least).

Side note: Lister and Kryten could probably simulate all this in the holosuite while Rimmer is dreaming. The Cat would do his own thing and collect all the shiny baubles in sight.

I wonder if anyone has their own version of this scenario.

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The fact that Rimmer had willing bought Lister a birthday present is absolutely adorable to me. In Marooned, it was mentioned that Rimmer borrowed $£15 from Lister to buy him a $£5 book token. I know the main joke is Rimmer being stingy but still. The thing that he went out of his way to buy a present AND A CARD for Lister is cute. (Even if it was Lister’s own money). The present was a nice gesture and the card was extra thoughtfulness in my opinion anyway.

He probably bought the book token just to spite Lister cus he probably admitted to before Future Echoes that he has never read a book before. Or Rimmer got him the book token so Lister has the opportunity to read a book. But anyone can take it either way in their headcannon.

Even though the gift was from Lister’s own money, he probably repaid Rimmer in Thanks for the Memory by throwing him a Death Day celebration. Also MAKING HIM A CAKE. Why go through all that effort of making a spanner shaped cake for someone you don’t like? Hmm mutual liking for one another but too stubborn to admit it probably.

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Is Rimmer touchy about Gazpacho soup because it also reminds him about the day he died? Cus come on, dying is pretty traumatic in itself and remembering it is a nightmare. There’s probably a few things that Rimmer finds distressing because it reminds him of how he died.

Now I am not an expert of death by radiation but from I can gather it burns like hell until death. I think. So could that make Rimmer afraid of fire from then on cus of the burning sensation triggers that traumatic memory of him dying?

In Skipper, he probably was terrified shitless when the big wall of flames came towards him when he jump to that first universe. Imagine going back to when the crew was alive and had to relive the moment when everything went to shit. Also reliving the worse life-changing thing happening again.

Back to the Gazpacho soup point, Rimmer brushes past that he’s dead but inside doesn’t want to dwell on the feeling of it. Or relive it even through memories.

Also are there any fanfics where it shows Rimmer’s thoughts and feelings as he’s dying from the radiation leak? (Morbid I know, but I need the angst) Maybe Rimmer just needs to talk out his death day to someone. To Lister or to Snacky (therapy sessions) just to finally face how he felt in the moment.

Did he feel fear or acceptance at the very end? Or maybe something else.

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When rewatching Thanks for the Memory, I’ve realised that Rimmer was never mad at Lister for being with Lise Yates. But just mad at Lise Yates only for supposedly cheating on him.

It is such a small detail and I’m probably reading too much into it. But the hyper fixation in my brain wants to be over-curious. But I dunno, it’s just a thought that just needs to be shared.

Cus Rimmer is not mad at Lister for being with Lise. He’s mad at Lise supposedly ‘cheating’ on him. Maybe his self-esteem dropped dramatically when he found out the letters as he cannot believe anyone would be with him wholeheartedly. Like in Infinity Welcome Drivers, he conjures up Juanita Chicata cheating on him also.

I don’t think Rimmer believes he can be fully loved and he thinks of them being silly if they do like Nirvana Crane in Holoship. Plus the closest thing shown in the shows of an actual genuine love is with Yvonne McGruder in the Last Human which ended in a misunderstanding (which I’m still angry about). Also with Lister, but that’s a rabbit hole I’m not going down in today.

All in all, Rimmer doesn’t blame Lister for being with Lise Yates maybe cus he believes Lister is the innocent party also. Or it could be said that Rimmer doesn’t trust women cus of his mother issues and that’s a whole different issue to look at.

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It took me a while to realise Rimmer was an absolute God send for Lister the minute he came out stasis. Cus Lister did need someone to talk to, to keep him sane. But it had to specifically be Rimmer. Before, I thought Rimmer wasn’t really needed because Lister had the Cat to talk to. But after rewatching Samsara a couple times with the Cat going on about Archimedes getting hit on the head with a bath and then inventing gravy, I’ve realised he would’ve driven Lister completely insane.

So the first couple of years, Rimmer was absolutely needed before Kryten took over and he was left to step back. Maybe that’s why Rimmer is so hard on Kryten, because he’s afraid he’s not needed anymore after being replaced as sole protector of Lister? We do see that insecurity shown in The Promised Land so probably. He even questions if he was needed in the first place.

But obviously when everything else is mad and empty, Rimmer is the only one who would sit and listen to Lister and drink in every detail. Like the self-walking shoe story or Haley Summers.

So it’s actually somewhat proven that Rimmer is the reason Lister is still sane from the early seasons. Maybe not great in comfort, but great in listening.

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Adding onto more Rimmer angst. Did he feel more resentment towards Lister when he turned 31? Like even more annoyed because Rimmer is dead whilst Lister is still living and aging. Witnessing him living longer but still acting like a drunken slob half the time right in front of Rimmer.

There’s a deleted scene in M-Corp where Rimmer says he’s worse off and dead when Lister was moaning about growing older. Saying at least Lister is real and alive. Rimmer also saying that he just exists for Lister and not for himself. Afterwards he storms off.

So I don’t blame Rimmer some of the time when he’s mad at Lister for lazing about half the time. Cus Lister is alive and real whereas Rimmer is not. Whilst feeling he could’ve done so much more if he was in Lister’s shoes. In M-Corp, Lister kind of proves Rimmer’s point when he has a severe indigestion attack that makes him have really bad heartburns.

Back onto the original question, maybe when Lister’s 31st birthday rolled around, that was some kind of breaking point for Rimmer. From the show, it seems that Lister doesn’t turn 31 until after Series 8. So it’s hard to determine what kind of feelings were stirred up there. But it could explain why Rimmer doesn’t express much sympathy for Lister whenever he wallows in self-pity for being the last human in the universe. Because he’s not the best example of a human living a healthy and mature life.

Ooo the potential angst here is delicious.