nyaabinch - Tumblr blog

[nyaabinch]

How hilarious would it have been if Mobei-Jun had taken a leaf from his beloved hamster's book and learned to cut and run? like you cannot love shang qinghua without finding some value in knowing when to run away.

Luo Binghe: fresh out of the abyss, approaching with murder in his eyes, a magic fuck or kill sword, and a grudge Mobei-jun: Nope. *Vanishes*

Like.

Imagine you're unnamed peak lord 3. It's a perfectly normal peak lord meeting. shen-shixiong is moping and all the high ranking lords are trying to cheer him up while shang-shixiong mutters incomprehensibly over papers and the lower ranking lot just feel ignored.

and then there's an ice demon in the middle of the room, grabbing shang-shixion and insisting that he pack his things, pack his secret things, pack his favourite disciples, they are running away to the end of the earth together right now and shang-shixiong never shared that location information with his sect, right? luo binghe will not be able to find them??

and then everythings in an uproar because shen-shixiong's wailing about how he never should have pushed his cabbage into the abyss and everyone's shouting and wait does that mean shang-shixiong's the traitor they assigned shang-shixiong to look for‽

[nyaabinch]

Every single day I'm grateful for that time I stumbled on the SVSSS headcanon that while Bingqiu is considered highkey confusing and lowkey cringe in the demon realm, Moshang is known as the Power Couple™. They're the demonic love story. The 'It Couple'.

Just generations of demons sighing over the dramatic and bloody love story of the Northern King and his right hand man plus spymaster, yearning for a love story filled with such glorious violence and betrayal! A classic childhood friends to lovers narrative filled with ups and downs and copious murder and gore! Love at first sight! The story of the loyal spy who rose up the ranks of the brutal Northern Court, culling his competition while providing vital intel to his liege, all the while infiltrating the most powerful cultivation sect in the world and eventually even becoming a Peak Lord! The slow burn of all slow burns! All kinds of spicy complicated power imbalances! Sexy, unexpected age gaps! Years of heavy plot! Decades of passionate courting! The pinnacle of inter-species forbidden romance!The tale of a man who swore eternal loyalty after falling violently in love at the very first meeting, calling a mere Prince His King in his desire and determination to see his beloved's ascension to the throne that was his birthright, and the Demon Prince who was unexpectedly presented with fierce loyalty in a life that had until then been rife with treachery and grabbed it with both hands and never looked back!

...and there's Junshan and the weird human he keeps around. Somewhat interesting if you're into that teacher-student thing I guess. There were very few deaths. Some bland murders. The trial arc and the self destruct thing plus corpse hoarding was interesting but overall very vanilla. Unseasoned. Not even a proper decade of drama. Kinda boring. And Junshan's half human so they're like Walmart version inter-species romance. But whatever the Emperor's into I guess. His dad was kinda weird too but at least his relationship with that human woman had some kick to it. The new generation just doesn't appreciate a long drawn out painful romance tsk tsk...

Like infinitely grateful to whoever first spawned that headcanon. Never fails to make me laugh. Honestly the most hilarious thing I've ever seen in this fandom. Hope your pillow is always cold and you never stub your toe.

[nyaabinch]

You know it would be really funny if Luo Bingqiu are considered to be a really cringe couple in the demon realm whereas Moshang are like...epic lovers

Like if you ask a demon about Shen Qingqiu they'd be like: "Sure, I guess he's a peak lord but he died a lot. Weak. Why would you take someone who can't take torment as a spouse? Also he doesn't scheme at all AND he and Lord Luo are all soppy with each other. And he's never murdered anyone for Lord Luo even once :( seems kinda cringe to me"

But if you ask about Shang Qinghua they're like "He took the beating of Mobei Jun for years! Three times a day I heard! That's old school romance that is! And he fought off Linguang-Jun twice! That's not to mention the scheming and cruelty he employed when helping his lover exact revenge against his ancient foes! That's true love right there. That is a romance of the ages! They murder for each other a lot! True love!"

I like to think there is a Moshang equivalent of the regret of Chunshan but it's written by demons for demons

Maybe Sha Hualing writes it to snag her girlfriend idk

Whereas even though Bingqiu has it's detractors in the human realm it's still widely considered to be an epic pornography romance

While they probably find Moshang just confusing and out of left field

[nyaabinch]

Moshang AU where Airplane transmigrates into a demon NPC from one of the fanservice clans he created, rather than into Shang Qinghua.

So basically, there was a point in time where a lot of PIDW chapters were just Luo Binghe running around propelled by political plots and rebellions from the demon kingdoms, and most of that actually just ended up being Luo Binghe collecting wives with cute animal ears and tails and various abilities that Airplane used all of once and then completely forgot about. They covered the usual bases of the sexy cat girls, sexy fox girls, sexy bunny girls, sexy bird girls with wings, etc, before moving into more, erm, niche animal hybrid demon territory.

Which is all a roundabout way of explaining Cute Hamster Boy Shang Qinghua in his faithful-to-canon clan of Hamster Demons, whose primary skills include cute squeaking noises and digging abilities.

In the process of making his braindead written-in-a-panic-at-3-am "world building" on this front actually function in a real version of the setting, there has got to be a way for the otherwise-unremarkable fanservice demon tribes to actually survive the incredibly hostile environment which Airplane otherwise described, though. Like yeah sure when you're writing a book you can just say in one breath that the demon realms are incredibly brutal and cutthroat, and then in the next that this tribe of bunny girls with no visible skills at self-defense has existed here for thousands of years, but if you actually tried to set that up in some kind of a simulation the bunny girls wouldn't last one year, let alone one thousand.

In that case of Airplane's hamster tribe, their digging skills are so supernaturally prodigious that they are able to construct massive underground fortifications in otherwise hostile terrain. But that still doesn't solve all of their problems, because they still need to acquire food, and for that they mostly do have to go up to the surface. Some of their weakness is mitigated by sheer numbers -- they have a lot of kids to offset the high mortality rate. However, to further increase the survival rates, the hamster demons also try and make contracts with some of the local liege lords or ruling clans whenever they expand into a new territory. In exchange for protection, they send some of their extraneous family members out as servants, to either cement alliances through marriage (that high fertility is helpful and was indeed the crux of Wife #whatever's acquisition in canon) or to work as diggers or even high-level architects.

As the like, twelfth son of the Hamster Demon chieftain, this is Airplane's fate. On the one hand he's highly positioned enough to get an education, and his plot knowledge helps a lot. On the other hand, he's not high enough in the hierarchy to be kept around, so it's either go work for some other clan or else risk his neck doing missions on the hostile and deadly surface. Neither seems great, but Airplane would rather try his luck as a sycophant than a warrior.

Luckily (or unluckily, depending on his mood when he thinks about it) when Airplane reaches sixteen years of age, it's around the same time that the Hamster clan's tunnels have expanded towards the Northern Desert. Airplane ends up being part of the "hiii~ pleasedon'tkillus let's be friends~" tribute to Mobei Jun's father.

Mobei Jun's father tosses him to Mobei Jun, so Airplane dutifully latches onto him in order to avoid being eaten by any of the other retainers. Airplane has been educated in various subterranean building skills and is under the impression that he's been given to MBJ in order to build him his own palace or something?

Everyone else assumes that the Hamster demon is a concubine.

Mobei Jun also thinks that's what he's been given, but he's too busy bristling in teenage offense at being given a concubine by his father to actually consider taking Airplane to bed. So when Airplane starts doing other things for him, he just sort of bemusedly lets it happen.

Gradually it becomes apparent that Airplane himself isn't interested in being a concubine. No. Clearly, this Hamster is gunning for future empress of the Northern Desert! How else would one explain all the lengths he's going to not only to win Mobei Jun's favor, but to secure his position and ensure his future rule? The system also wants Airplane to ensure the Abyss plot arc happens in the future, too, which means Airplane helps Mobei Jun win and instigate conflicts against the righteous cultivation sects too.

Obviously, Airplane wants power. Mobei Jun knows that if he gets an heir off of Airplane that will be that, the wily minx will use any children to secure his position, and MBJ is not convinced he could control himself well enough to prevent that sort of eventually. Airplane is fiendishly attractive, and he clearly knows it, and Mobei Jun is not sure if he wants to accept what increasingly seems to be the inevitable. He won't be a ladder for someone else's ambitions! But... as long as Airplane remains loyal to him, he will consider it. Even if Airplane never harbors any true affection for him, and simply considers him a means to an end. If, by the time he ascends the Hamster has not betrayed him or tried to elevate himself by flipping over this uncle's side, or seduced any of his other relatives or any of the highly-placed lords all salivating to steal MBJ's would-be empress, then Mobei Jun will grant his wish and make him the second most powerful demon in the North.

Airplane, meanwhile, just wants a snack and a nap. Maybe if he builds a secure enough fortress and amasses enough of an intelligence network and hoards a few advantages for himself, and figures out how to stop pissing off MBJ, he'll survive long enough to retire. Somehow.

[nyaabinch]

disciple luo binghe, running errands for his shizun one day, somehow manages to be in the exact wrong (right) place at the exact wrong (right) time and catches shang qinghua meeting with mobei jun

in order to keep luo binghe from tattling right away, shang qinghua dissembles in a panic and claims that his clandestine meetings with mobei jun are happening because they're lovers and definitely not because shang qinghua is betraying the sect and handing their secrets over to demons in order to save his own hide. when that almost doesn't work, he also tells luo binghe that he knows he's part demon, and that if luo binghe rats him out then shang qinghua will take him down with him. mutually assured destruction

it works, and even though luo binghe threatens him quite a bit (jeez kid calm down, you might be the almighty protagonist but also you're like sixteen) he agrees to keep shang qinghua's fraternizing a secret. but if ANYTHING BAD should happen to the sect or especially to luo binghe's shizun because of this, luo binghe will take shang qinghua down even if it does ruin his life too

shang qinghua, now sweating even more bullets about the impending immortal alliance conference: cool! cool cool cool sounds great cool yeah

so shang qinghua can add "being blackmailed by the punk ass brat I sort of created" to his list of stress-inducing woes. which gets even worse when luo binghe keeps somehow sensing if mobei jun is around for more than a couple hours and showing up, and picking fights with him?? kind of??

wtf has the protagonist been taking tips from liu qingge or something...?

shang qinghua feels like he's gonna have a heart attack when mobei jun just snorts and tosses luo binghe by the scruff like he's an annoying yappy dog

mobei jun actually knows what's up though. teenage half-demon who has never been around his own kind has become spoiled by the lack of competition on this front, and now his hackles are all up because he wants to claim the whole mountain range as his territory, and his instincts are screaming at him to challenge mobei jun about it so that they can decide who is actually top dog. since mobei jun could easily kill him, especially with his blood sealed, and has been clawing rocks and pissing on trees along the borders of an ding peak since before luo binghe was born, he's clearly got seniority here

and since qinghua doesn't want mobei jun to just kill the little shit (fair enough -- that sealed bloodline does look kind of interesting) that means it's up to mobei jun to teach him how to do things like interact with other demons without making a complete fool of himself. lesson one: what to do when you challenge someone out of your league and they win, assuming they don't just kill you

so luo binghe reluctantly gains another demon tutor

meng mo actually approves. he's been out of the loop on demon high society for a long time, and has lacked a body for long enough too that he's forgotten a lot of the particulars of socializing. it'll be good for luo binghe to pick up some manners that aren't just silly human tea ceremonies and things. maybe he'll start addressing meng mo more respectfully for a change!

(lol no)

luo binghe is partly like "I don't need to learn demon social skills since I'm spending the rest of my life as a disciple of qing jing peak" but partly like, well, if shizun knew about this and didn't freak out about it, he'd probably say that knowledge is power and learning how to handle politics and diplomacy of all kinds is important. and despite himself luo binghe is also interested, because this is a whole perspective on his own nature that he's never really gotten advice about

also, mobei jun is the lover of shang qinghua? mobei jun is a demon who successfully seduced a cang qiong peak lord? does he have any advice about that?

(he does -- all of it very bad)

anyway all of this sort of fucks up the immortal alliance conference developments really good, so the system kind of gives up and settles on some other big transformative achievements that luo binghe has to complete in order to be suitably heroic

but shen qingqiu has no idea and so the reprieve just seems to come out of nowhere until several years later, when he walks in on luo binghe with his claws out and huadian gleaming in the company the demon king of the northern desert, the two of them playing weiqi or something while they wait for shang qinghua to get back from some random logistics crisis he had to rush off to

shen qingqiu: ...?!?

luo binghe, panicking: wait shizun I can explain it's not what it looks like SHIZUN I SWEAR I WAS GOING TO TELL YOU PLEASE DON'T BE MAD--!

shen qingqiu: all this time I thought you were sneaking out to meet a girl, and this was what you were doing instead?!

luo binghe: WHAT?? shizun no I'd never do that I swear I don't even like girls!

shen qingqiu: that's not -- wait what do you mean you don't even like girls?!

mobei jun, unperturbed and still focused on the weiqi board: he's gay

[nyaabinch]

https://archiveofourown.org/works/27128605/chapters/67927063#main

how to commit identity fraud: a guide for misplaced time travelers (watery_melon_baller, via ao3)

look the fic premise is hilarious and my brain wouldn’t shut up, so here’s a part from chapter five of the fic. don’t know the author’s tumblr, if they have one, but uh. yeah. ahahhahjhsabsdrmjhjbhsvrfbh

in which toph, aang, katara, sokka, zuko, and suki get sent forward in time and proceed to abduct korra in the middle of no where.

[nyaabinch]

I love thinking about how a Shen Yuan reveal would go from Luo Binghe's perspective, maybe even especially in cases where Binghe doesn't actually get to see Shen Yuan's world or understand it very well.

Imagine finding out that your husband is some kind of interdimensional alien spirit/angel who saw your fate and got so upset about it that he died. Then he came to your world, even though he didn't know that was possible, but since it was he immediately set about making your life less shitty and trying to change your fate. Except he couldn't change all of your fate because some kind of godlike being, the same one that brought him here, didn't want to let him. He's haunted by the fact that he couldn't figure out better ways to help you. He never expected any of his regard to be reciprocated, either, in fact he assumed you'd hate him. You never had to convince him to love you or respect you. He has always loved and respected you. There's basically nothing you can do to lose that love and respect either, because the first version of you that he even knew about was your edgelord comphet idiot mirror universe counterpart.

The bar has been at the earth's crust this entire time.

The fluffy parts of this reveal are obviously good, but I also think Luo Binghe deserves to know just how fully terrible his husband's judgment is. Also that Shizun has been dying for him since before they even met.

I think it'd be fun how often that would probably keep him awake at night, quietly trying not to have a crisis over the fact that his husband has made an honest to god habit of dying for him.

[nyaabinch]

Tsuna and avoiding school sport competitions

[nyaabinch]

The bats have an entire group chat dedicated to keeping Tim from becoming a super villain.

At first they weren’t too concerned. Sure Tim was a little questionable, but he seemed normal enough, despite his sociopathic tendencies.

The issue originally started as a joke. Jason was complaining about how hard it was to take over and manage a majority of Gotham’s underworld. Tim had laughed and said he could probably catch up to Jason in about 2 week, probably less.

The entire family bet on it. And surprise surprise, Tim won…by a landslide. Did everything and more in a week. When asked how Tim just laughed.

“Please. I know everything about everyone in this city. Nothing happens here without me knowing.”

And hold up? Did Tim already have a control of the underworld before this because that’s cheating? No he didn’t but the Bat’s learned that Tim has built and maintained a massive informant system that spans across everything in the city and some outside.

When asked why he just shrugged. “Bruce locked me out of the bat cave one too many times when I was Robin so I had to find my own way to get information.”

Later they learn that Drake industries did not go bankrupt. Well it did, but Tim bought it for Pennie’s on the dime and it now goes by Jackson Industries and has been systematically funding and buying rights to a number of medical practices/studies/etc to then redistribute at affordable rates. The reason every civilian in Gotham has a rebreather is because of Jackson Industries.

Also apparently Tim is a majority share holder with LexCorp. Again when asked Tim shrugged and said something about one to many attacks on Konn and being ready to sweep the rug from Luther’s feet at any given moment left the man a lot more paranoid and a lot more careful.

That’s not even touching on Young Justice. The bats found footage of their early missions and realize that they’re def a ride or die group and they would 100% follow Tim before they stop him.

So yeah. They have a chat dedicated to making sure Tim doesn’t tip over the very thin line to villainy because honest to god, they’re not convinced they could stop him.

[nyaabinch]

Headcanon that once someone dies and comes back to life they acquire the ability to see ghosts

Jason's first night back at the Manor, Martha points to the cupboard where his favorite snacks were stocked just like when he was a kid

Steph teaches Thomas how to play iPhone games and he is completely enthralled by the infinite number of jigsaw puzzle apps

Cass holds gala dresses up to the mirror to get Martha's opinion through a series of silent nods or head shakes

Damian shows Thomas how Bat-Cow likes to be cleaned and now the other family members will find her mysteriously groomed ahead of time

Roy gets Martha's blessing to date Jason when Bruce refuses. Wally does the same for Dick with Thomas

Kon and Bart visit the Manor, say fuck-words, break everything, and run away scared shitless Scooby-Doo style while Tim watches on confused

[nyaabinch]

Level of respect a class of teens I have to teach art to have for me when I walk in: 0%

Level of respect after I draw sasuke from memory on the whiteboard: beyond anything you could possibly imagine

[nyaabinch]

Bruce Wayne, sitting in a cute eco-friendly cafe while on a video call with Tim: Oh Noooo, are you sure there’s no way the board of directors will let us get rid of this old decrepit Wayne Factory building that is unsafe for our workers and also for the surrounding environment?

CEO Tim, with equal gravitas: No, I’m afraid they just won’t budge. It technically meets legal requirements on paper, and we can’t prove that the chemicals affecting the local ecosystem that have no other possible source are from the out-of-date drainage system… they’re saying it would cost too much to fix the place up too, which is ridiculous, because we’re us, but our hands are tied…

Bruce, full Brucie himbo mode: Oh I just feel so SAD for all the sweet fluffy animals and the pretty flowers and especially our hard workers dealing with such unsafe conditions… I think I’ll give them all a nice short vacation this weekend, so the ENTIRE PLACE will be EMPTY and SHUT DOWN from FRIDAY TO TUESDAY, the SECURITY SYSTEM WILL BE DOWN because it’s just so GLITCHY, I’m sure nothing will happen to the ENVIRONMENTAL STAIN ON OUR COMPANIES NAME THAT WILL BE COMPLETELY ABANDONED FROM FRIDAY TO TUESDAY- Timmy do you think I’m being too subtle?

Tim, snickering: no no you’re doing great Bruce I’m sure they’ve got it

Poison Ivy, on a date the next table over: ( ‘-‘)-☕️

Harley, through tears of repressed laughter: so… we doing anythin’ this weekend?

[nyaabinch]

i feel like spy x family is growing into a "it takes a village to raise a kid" kind of story, and i think that's beautiful.

both loid and anya started out alone, but especially loid, was accustomed to having to do everything himself. only being able to rely on himself. both from the agency being understaffed, so he has to take on disproportionate responsibility.

and then he meets yor who reminds him that anya is a child and she should be allowed to play and have fun as well as work hard. and then yuri's help with trying to teach anya, franky's with being a playmate for anya. and more importantly, the austens being added and sigmund being an actually helpful teacher for anya.

it highlights how loid does struggle and he isn't good at everything, especially when it comes to his daughter, and for the first time that's okay. like yor said, loid doesn't need to be perfect all the time.

he's trying to work towards world peace, but really, that's happening already with anya as the centre. loid isn't alone in operation strix anymore, people are helping anya to achieve academically, helping her to becoming an imperial scholar. operation strix is no longer only on loid's shoulders, and i think he's slowly going to start realising that.

[nyaabinch]

before lbh came back to the human realm he asked mobei why he kept the most pathetic sopping wet peak lord about. mbj casually "oh sometimes i ask him things and it literally changes reality." what. mobei what. no seriously what the fuck do you mean. what do you mean he changes reality. what are you talking about. are you serious. are you fucking with him rn fr "he cant change people though" WHY WOULD YOU GET HIS HOPES UP THEN "i believe qinghua calls it a 'power move'."

THE WAY I CAN SEE MOBEI JUST CASUALLY SAYING HE LIKES HAVING A GOD AT HIS SIDE

[nyaabinch]

I think Binghe deserves to know about SQQ's past life as SY, not because I think he deserves to know why he got shoved into the abyss but because I think he deserve to know SQQ's fucking weird ass little mind. Wife plots and all. I think this would give Binghe some enrichment for his Shizun enclosure, cause nothing would make his little bingpup hamster wheel of a brain spin faster than realizing that SQQ is thinking about him 24/7 and is as obsessed with him as he is with SQQ

[nyaabinch]

I usually write Airplane Bro as having had a bad relationship with Shang Qinghua's birth family, but it's also funny to imagine a scenario where they're actually really nice people and that he likes them a lot. The Transmigration System forced him to leave a cushy family situation behind in order to go to Cang Qiong and become a cultivator, and his parents were sad but supportive!

This means that somewhere in the Post-Canon of SVSSS, Shang Qinghua can offhandedly mention to Shen Qingqiu: "Oh, cool, I got a letter from my father. My parents are coming to visit." And Shen Qingqiu can go: "WHAT."

And Shang Qinghua later has to introduce Mobei-Jun to his totally normie second birth parents, who are doing their best to be accepting, and aren't even freaking out about the demon thing because Shang Qinghua has been keeping them updated on his life the entire time while also lying a LOT by omission. "Oh, he was always a strange child, we didn't know what to think at first, but he's sent us so many nice gifts since becoming the An Ding Peak Lord! Except for that time that he had to go work in the Demon Realm for a little while for some important diplomatic reason? We're very proud of him for his bravery!" Shang Qinghua's mother says, while Shen Qingqiu is trying really hard not to shatter a teacup with his bare hands.

[nyaabinch]

Shen Jiu! Parenting!! Ning Yingying!!!

———

“Hi baby.” Shen Qingqiu cooed at the infant. He was a bit embarrassed at how easily he melted around Yingying, but she was his daughter, and he figured he was allowed.

This time, however, he’d forgotten where he was. In the middle of a peak lord meeting, surrounded by wide-eyed, incredulous stares.

“Do you think he realizes we’re here?” Wei Qingwei mused loudly, wincing at a kick he got from one of his martial brothers.

“Shut up! Do you want him to?”

Qi Qingqi was usually never speechless, but today, it seemed she did not have any sour words in her for Shen Qingqiu, who she always passionately loathed. Her mouth was catching flies.

Most others seemed to feel the same. Liu Qingge sat frozen in his seat, staring. Yue Qingyuan seemed startled and…oddly wistful.

Shen Qingqiu was in his own little world. “Oh my goodness, you’re so chubby…” he lightly pinched at Ning Yingying’s little cheeks and gasping in delight when she let out a little squeal of delight.

“This has to be a hallucination,” Mu Qingfang muttered to himself, eyes wide. “Were we poisoned?”

Ning Yingying caught her adoptive father’s finger in her tiny fist and shoved it in her mouth, drooling happily all over it. Shen Qingqiu just laughed.

Meanwhile, a certain Shang Qinghua sat in his chair with his head in his hands as he mourned the death of the canon universe.