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i feel like the youth should be reminded that the point of shipping is not for a ship to become canon. the point of shipping is to collect all the canon crumbs like starved mice, run away cackling and make some fun little scenarios with them just for the hell of it.

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i’m such a “i want your attention” but “won’t bother you” kinda person

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me when someone abruptly asks me if i want to go and do something fun together but the fun thing wasn't part of my daily plan:

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I finally read the Umineko VN last year and had the funniest possible experience:

Finished Episode 1. Sat down with a pen and paper and meticulously solved the epitaph in a way that incorporated tons of Japanese wordplay to arrive at another thematically appropriate kanji wordplay riddle, the answer to which pointed to a specific location. Was completely incorrect.

(under read more because massive spoilers for Episode 1 and one technically Ep3 spoiler re: the "village" and someone's name)

My base assumption was: the names of the victims, in particularly kanji wordplays, are needed to solve the epitaph--a classic trope of shinhonkaku where the longer the case goes on, the more punny 'clues' are given, with the solution being either an admission of guilt or a clever misdirection.

I also figured out that the "village" refers to the 'ri' in Maria's name and that the river is the family tree (you can imagine my satisfaction when they actually brought it up two episodes later), so even more hints that you should be looking at the family's weird names.

My thinking process:

First Twilight - four people with their faces smashed in + two people with only half their faces destroyed. Human face = their identity = their name. You pick the six "chosen as sacrifices", therefore the four full names and halves of the two remaining names. Anagram time! Unfortunately I lost my notes and don't remember the entire thing I figured out, but the only truly important syllables were "on" (音) from Shannon and the "goh"/"gou" (郷) from Gohda.

Second Twilight - tear apart the two who are close. Well, how can you signify that two people are close in the first place? You can use a possessive: Eva's Hideyoshi, or Hideyoshi's Eva. In Japanese, you use the particle 'no': X の Y. The thing separating the two names who are close is therefore... the particle の itself, "no"!

Third Twilight - praise my noble name. The self-explanatory answer here is just "Beatrice".

Fourth to Eighth Twilights - gouge the head, chest, stomach, knee, leg. Similarly to the First Twilight, this means choosing parts of the victim's names. If 'head' signifies the beginning of the name and "leg" is the end, we get in order:

[K]inzou K[a]non Ge[n]ji Nan[ji]o (the hiragana is 'ji') Kumasa[wa]

Ninth Twilight - the witch shall revive (or, as is the trend in this solution, her name will be revived). How? By simply reading everything we just came up with until now--and answering the resulting riddle:

'OUGON NO BEATRICE' KANJI WA?

"What are the kanji of Beatrice the Golden?"

There are a thousands possible solutions, but the important thing is to notice that the name ベアトリーチェ, Be-a-to-ri-(i)-chi(e), contains a certain word.

For example, something like this:

TORII CHI (E) = 鳥居地へ

"[go] to the torii grounds".

You know, like the suspiciously missing torii gate that was foreshadowed near the beginning of the game? Woah, I can't believe I actually found the location of the treasure! (wait what do you mean it's wrong)

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I reject absoIuteIy revenge, aggression and retaliation….

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WHEN ON PERIOD:

do not crash out

your feelings are NOT valid

do not send that text

don't kill yourself. lock in

do not act on negative emotions until at least 2 days have elapsed

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Person with migraine aura today: Ow ow ow my head hurts and all I can see is TV static :(

Nineteenth century doctors describing migraine aura with the manic horror of a lovecraftian horror protagonist:

At first it looked just like the spot which you see after having looked at the sun or some bright object; I thought it might be an eyelash in the way, or something of that sort, but I was soon undeceived when it began to increase…

When it was in its height it seemed like a fortified town with bastions all round it, these bastions being coloured most gorgeously... All the interior of the fortification, so to speak, was boiling and rolling about in a most wonderful manner as if it was some thick liquid all alive. (Hubert Airy, 1856)

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Twin Peaks, 1990

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POV: you’ve just started watching Twin Peaks in 2025

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incredible television

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I'm probably showing my age here but everyone should know when the Dawntrail alliance raid comes out, this is all I will be thinking of:

I never personally played FFXI, my brother did for a minute, but As Vana'diel Turns and The End of the World warped my sense of humor into the chaotic mess it is today.