nycsmythe

[nycsmythe]

the response he gets from emmett is definitely not one he's expecting, and it's enough to, at least for the shortest of moments, catch sebastian off guard. "uh... y-yeah, i guess." he shrugs it off - tries to at least, but the possibility that he wasn't the bad guy - or, if nothing else, the sole bad guy - here clearly hadn't fully occurred to him. after all, he'd never had a problem coming off as the villain before; in fact, it was something he typically sought out. life was just way more fun that way. ...wasn't it?

the shift in conversation brings him back to reality, his usual smirk reappearing as though it had never left. "no? never?" his gaze lowers, taking his time to look over emmett, as though he's expecting a spot of previously undetected dirt to suddenly show up. "that's sad. or... are you just saying that you're more of a bubble bath kind of guy, when it comes to date night?"

Emmett was naive in a lot of ways, but Sebastian's admission of going for married guys... well, there was a distinct degree of confusion. He couldn't fathom it. What was it like to have the level of confidence and self-assuredness to be able to know that not only could Sebastian get someone to care for him, but someone who had pledged their life to another? He was that magnetic. Emmett had no trouble believing that one. It was more the concept of having that kind of ego that he could not imagine.

He didn't offer Sebastian any kind of immediate response, because he didn't really know what to say. Nor did he understand the ramifications of infidelity. "Well, it sounds to me like that is someone's choice."

Granted, he knew nothing about romantic relationships, and it would continue that way as far as he was concerned. "Uh... no, I don't have one of those?" Emmett's voice rose into a question, because why would he?

[nycsmythe]

hmm. interesting. closer to airplane ones, or...?

sure, why not? i could use a distraction.

They're usually fancier than your cliche bag of shell on peanuts like you'd find at Texas Roadhouse or Five Guys, but you can still get nuts. Yeah, cirque du soleil is very different.

You sure you actually want to pay for the amount of alcohol to get to that trauma?

[nycsmythe]

i'll be honest, it took me a second to realize you were speaking about your own divorce, not boohooing about your parents' separating. shouldn't be a surprise, i know, but considering a conversation i had the displeasure of being dragged into last week...

...also surprised to hear that you were married to a woman, but, hey, i guess the not working out part makes sense.

i think the weirdest thing about divorce is dividing up what you own, because when did i become a person that feels the need to passionately state my case for why this particular spoon is mine, because its my favorite one, and i like the shape of it for eating soup. how does she not get that? and why do i suddenly give a single care about a throw rug that i don't think i ever even noticed n the house for the five years i lived in it until now. i need it, and it is definitely mine. anyways..so that's what my life's come to, what's the silliest thing you've argued over? bonus points if there was multiple lawyers involved.

[nycsmythe]

your co-host just... disappeared? i don't know, sounds kind of sus, my guy. my gut instinct is telling me i don't want to be next, but, hey, i wish you luck with your pivot into the true crime genre.

i think i've been the victim of a ghosting. workwise, so i guess my pod is looking for a new co-host, if you're big into pop culture and want to yap about it once a week and get paid - hit me up. if not, please instruct me on how i can take this tragedy and milk it for clout. i want a billion followers by the end of the month. (wrong answers only)

[nycsmythe]

how come you're not singing? scared of a little competition? ...actually, if i were you, and knew i'd have to compete against me, i'd probably feel the same way. smart girl.

i won't be singing at karaoke tonight but i am excited to see both rachels perform, if any of you guys need me i will be dancing with your dates/boyfriends/girlfriends/partners. if you dedicate a song to me, maybe i'll spare you a dance, too. here's a helpful tip: some of my favorites are mambo no. 5, the purple people eater, kiss by prince, and anything by kesha.

[nycsmythe]

i'm going to have to pass on the basketball, but i could be open to the outdoor cinema experience. and i'm always here for drinks.

growing up, i always enjoyed taking trips with my family during the summer break - getting to travel, see the world, falling in love for a couple weeks with the hottest guy in each city we visited? it was great.

its finally getting into the summer season, I can tell because all we seem to make now is iced drinks and someone asked if we were going to get new flavours for matcha, that part doesn't really matter on the season. It also means I can finally get into playing basketball outside again, anyone want to join me on that or outdoor cinemas or drinks? what is your favourite thing about the summer?

[nycsmythe]

"fine. thirty." sebastian confirms, not loving the idea of having to wait around for someone, but he's sure he can find some way to pass those extra ten minutes. perhaps by stalking his ex's instagram... or something else totally healthy and not at all depressing. cassie's suggestion, however, does bring up a good point, and, though he's not about to just admit it and thank her - he's grateful for the reminder. with his new job, and, more specifically, new, much smaller paychecks, his go-to lunching spots are no longer a realistic option for him. a little research was needed, and now, those extra ten minutes felt like a gift. "yeah, yeah. go, shower. get a head start on me."

Cassandra rolled her eyes, taking a deep breath. " Yeah, yeah. Whatever." She had to admit, it came with a bit of surprise but his tone only made her want to keep her guard up. She fixed her own strap, as if by habit or just watching someone else do it, made her do the same thing. " Make it 30." All she could think of was that she was a woman after all, and she took longer sometimes even when she was trying to rush. " But you can take those extra minutes to think of where you're going to take us!"

[nycsmythe]

oh, i'm they are, just in different ways. though, actually... the first episode? life imitated art. or maybe the other way around, considering the timeline of events, but i'm not too sure if it was just a coincidence, or if the writers knew something the public didn't.

it's the sigma mindset, dottie. respect the grind.

...please put me down for allowing those words to come from my fingertips.

...wait, really? huh...guess that makes sense. i thought things in england where just extra bad over there.

they really are the worst. i'm not sure why anyone would want to be like that. surely they know how awful they come across?

[nycsmythe]

the decision to leave had been an impulsive one, not a thoroughly plotted out scheme like his usual antics, and, the more time he spent reminiscing on it - or, like now, being forced to come face to face with the repercussions of his choice - the dumber an idea it had started to feel like. he hadn't helped blaine, not at all, and he'd made himself miserable in the process. he knew blaine better than this, and just because he felt undeserving of the other's love, it didn't mean that love wasn't there. every question coming out of blaine's mouth was a valid one - and, really, it just answers why he'd left without a word. "because-..." sebastian starts, and then stops, pausing for a moment before continuing. "if i'd come and talked to you, you would have talked me out of it. i can't say no to you, blaine." those big eyes, that sympathetic heart... he would have folded immediately.

guilt continues to sink in, even more than before, upon hearing that the fears he'd had about blaine's reaction to all of this were accurate - though he knows it shouldn't be a surprise. as painful as being away from blaine and tossing away their future together had been, the real kicker had been knowing the pain blaine must have been going through back home - alone. when he'd proposed, he'd given a promise to make sure blaine never had to go through another heartbreak again - only to wind up being the one to presumably hurt him more than any others before. "we'll always be something, blaine." he finally speaks up again, softly, after an incredibly long pause, absorbing every word blaine gives him, each one feeling like a punch to the gut. "but i think it's time we come to terms with the fact that i'm not the one for you." the other way around? sure, maybe. blaine would always be his one. he knew that. but someone with as big of a heart as blaine had would find love again. "i was just trying to do the right thing. ...even if, admittedly, i chose probably the worst way to go about it."

sebastian getting his stuff is the last thing on blaine's mind right now. everything was still right where sebastian had left it, apart from a hoodie blaine had stolen from his closet in a painfully cliché moment. yes, seeing all of it every day served as a constant, painful reminder of what had happened. but part of him had clung to the hope that maybe, somehow, sebastian would walk through that door again with a reasonable explanation (even if blaine had no idea what that could possibly be). that they'd talk things through and somehow find their way back to normal. but of course they wouldn't. not like this. "then why did you feel like you had to run off?" blaine asks, his voice trembling despite how hard he tries to keep it steady. "why couldn't you just talk to me? we could've taken things slower, or — or, i don't know, eloped, or whatever it was you needed. we could've figured it out together."

he knows sebastian's words are supposed to make him feel better after all the sleepless nights spent picking apart every memory and conversation, desperate to figure out what he could have done differently. but they don't, not even a little. "you left out of nowhere, sebastian. no text, no call, not even a note. nothing. you just disappeared. so of course i spent months thinking it was me. that i wasn't enough, or too much. that it was something i did..." his lashes flutter against his cheeks as he blinks hard, forcing back the tears that sting at the corners of his eyes. "and i don't know what i want you to do with your stuff," he blurts out, the brutally honest confession escaping him before he can stop it. "that's the thing — i didn't even know where you were. i didn't know when you'd come back, if you'd even come back at all, or where we stood. if we were still... anything."

[nycsmythe]

i wasn't trying to do anything but speak from the heart.

...but... not even a little?

PRIVATE.

things might have changed between us, but my mémé wanted me to tell you that you're always welcome at her home. unless you actually do me dirty some day, but i don't think you could ever reach my level in that, so... the invitation remains. i think she likes you more than me, anyway. at least based on the lecture i got when she returned from the wedding to find me waiting there.

for now, yes. working for my dad wasn't as fun as the hollywood nepo babies make it seem. but i guess you know that. you're the one that had to put up with me after the days spent in that office, after all.

if you're trying to make me blush, it's not working. i'll take the compliment, though.

PRIVATE.

well, maybe i should book a trip to paris then. it's been way too long. and... right. of course it was a selfish act. so... you're going to continue working there for the foreseeable future? i wasn't really sure if it was just a temporary thing.

[nycsmythe]

SEBASTIAN: sure. SEBASTIAN: an iconic, powerful, beloved character? checks out.

RACHEL: Sure RACHEL: You make yourself sound like Tony Soprano or something.

[nycsmythe]

the first one's actually really similar to the first season from what i remember, just with the creepiness amped up. after netflix took over, the story got a pretty heavy shift. the second book only loosely resembles the second season, and, after that, it's an entirely different direction.

i've seen the movie from the nineties. how do they compare?

well now i'm really curious and i might have to read them, just to report back. although, in terms of killers in fiction, i do prefer vampires. have you watched interview with the vampire on amc? so fucking good in terms of visual time-wasters.

[nycsmythe]

SEBASTIAN: what's there to feel strange about?

EMMA: no but i feel strangely about our last interaction and i didn't know how to offer an olive branch.

[nycsmythe]

it wasn't like he was unaware of how rude the comment was before it had even slipped off his tongue, but, honestly, he hadn't meant it personally. it was more so an analysis of his previous therapists, not actually about emma specifically. still, that didn't change how it sounded, nor did it invalidate her reaction - even if stung more than he'd like to admit. one thing was for sure, she knew how to hit him where it hurt. "...oh, fuck off, emma. it was a joke." far from the most eloquent of comebacks, sebastian huffs, sneering as he rises back up from his seat, leaving the bottle he'd brought behind, exchanging it for the plate of cupcakes. "i'm leaving. but i'm taking these."

Emma's wide eyes darkened at Sebastian's comment, and she didn't respond, simply took a sip of her coffee and thought of how she should respond, with kindness, understanding, but she was always so kind and cripplingly understanding. It was exhausting. Sebastian was right, he wasn't her therapist and she didn't necessarily have to help him, especially if he didn't want to help himself.

She decided to say screw it to how she should respond, and respond with how she felt. It annoyed her to no end when people used no offense when they obviously knew they were being offensive. "I don't know what you mean by worse off in life, but I happen to like my life, and I am not the one who harmed someone I love after I promised to keep them safe. No. Offense." She crossed her arms, "I was only trying to help, and that's no reason to be hurtful."

[nycsmythe]

"a couple times, huh?" once it seems like he's actually managed to shift the conversation away from his own mess of a love life and onto rachel's romantic endeavors, he's able to let out a sigh of relief, masked by another swig from the glass in his hand. "has it moved past the groupie stage, yet? or are all your encounters still happening backstage?"

Rachel blushed a little, "Well, there is a guy who has shown up a couple of times to see me, and I haven't taken him back here, because for all I know, he could be a total freak," she laughed, "But he is really gorgeous, like, unfairly so, so I'm open to finding out if he's a prince or a frog."

[nycsmythe]

SEBASTIAN: not everything is about blaine. SEBASTIAN: in case you hadn't noticed, i have a lot of enemies in this town. some i'd rather not deal with, if given the choice.

RACHEL: Is that you asking it B is going? Because I don't know. If I had to guess though, probably.

[nycsmythe]

if serial killer bad, why sexy? the books were a guilty pleasure read for me awhile back, and if you think he's creepy in the show, well... let's just say that's the lovable version of him. i'm sure the hot actor of it all helped, though.

now that white lotus and severance are over for their respective seasons, i'm stuck looking for the next visual time-waster. or maybe i should just take that as a sign to do something better with my time. read a book, touch grass, etc.

watching the final season of you on netflix...no spoilers, but the amount that this character jerks off in every scene needs to be studied. penn badgley is fucking hot, but joe makes me physically ill, which i guess is the point, since he's a murderer - not a spoiler, if you don't know that, that's on you. i'm ready for someone to catch his ass this season. let's go.

what have you been watching? here's hoping it's better than this.