BECOMING A CERTIFIED DIVER WHEN YOU KNOW NOTHING ABOUT DIVING
I dove once before on a very commercial Great Barrier Reef tour - all the coral was dead. But the BVI is apparently a great place to dive, so with the spare time on my hands I thought why not get certified?Â
The place to do it on Tortola is Blue Water Divers in Nanny Cay. For $450 USD over 4 days you get a textbook and 4 full days of diving to complete the PADI (Professional Association of Diving Instructors) Open Water Dive Certification.
I went into this process totally blind, so I thought Iâd recap the day by day experience here to share my candid perspective.
The short of it is - you will feel like you are in school again with the required reading and homework, but you will feel great to learn a new skill and meet some interesting people while at it.
DAY 1
Wow, I fucking hate diving. The weights, those tanks, the skills you must learn  - UGFH - what the hell? Iâm not supposed to be down there with the fish anyway - itâs so obvious - they even look at you oddly like GET A LIFE.  Iâm up at 6:30 to get my act together and fly through the first chapter of this textbook. I get a 90% of quiz 1 - hooray confidence boost. 30 knots later with a tremendous amount of water spraying down the whole of the boat, I was not so stoked.
This is actually more like torture than fun, the conditions were choppy, it was cold and I had a swimsuit that was very revealing to some particular body parts. Nevertheless I will say it was simulating to throw yourself into an environment and a practice you know absolutely nothing about, and feel a bit clueless as you work with gear youâve never touched before - let alone assemble for yourself to serve as the ultimate lifeline for your underwater journey. Also having to learn new ways to communicate with your dive instructor in sign language at the most critical moments of the experience is something else, too.
I do 3 tank setups and then we do dive #1 - a set of skills, followed by another dive and set of skills, then another dive and set of skills. The last dive at least we saw a green turtle with a head the size of a small child. And some pretty purple coral and some nice fish with electric and interesting patterns. Â I was so cold at one point (even in a spring suit) that my fingertips were white and a little purple. To be honest, the best underwater life I ever saw was off Beachcomber Island in Fiji just going along with snorkels. Oh, and we got in a screaming match with another boat because he thought we were standing on the coral. He was an idiot, we were on the rocks and the diving group has the most respect for the environment out of any one out there. I though about cancelling the whole certification, I was pretty miserable, but told myself to stop bitching and suck it up. But right now Iâm really dreading the 75 pages I have to read before Iâm up at 6am for day 2.
DAY 2
Nitrogen. It makes you really sleepy. Incredibly sleepy. But thats what happens when you dive. So weird. Today was MUCH better than yesterday. Cant even compare. Iâm so glad I came back.Â
I got scolded for not doing my reading though - having failed my 2 chapter quiz this am. I felt like a real jerk not having done my homework. Itâs my ass after all! Nevertheless, today we had much more interesting people (a nice man from San Fran and some Polish guys) and a great instructor who really knew his stuff but was also cracking jokes underwater - a South African guy who was just laughs and made the whole experience much more enjoyable. We played tic-tac-toe on his writing slate at one point while we were waiting on another diver to finish her skills. If youâre not having fun down there whatâs the point? And the weather was normal, an obvious mood booster and plus. We did 3 dives, more mask flooding, at one point leaving it off for a minute and then âlosingâ it completely and having to âsearchâ for it (I was led by the instructor through this though) but that was the scariest part of our skills for today. I wear contacts so open eyes underwater is a no-no.Â
We did 30 skills total today - super nuts - and saw a massive string ray. Â Watching their lungs move is in incredible. We all had a few beers on the way back which was nice. I still think being underwater is super odd; at one point in between skills I was just standing there in my fins and all my gearing front of the reef, hair looking like Iâve been electrocuted, just starting at the coral and imagining to myself how weird this whole thing is. Â Anyway now I have to do my reading otherwise I will fail my exam tomorrow. Did I mention Iâm writing this from a place called Peg Legs?
DAY 3
This routine is becoming a bit boring - we had to pick up two groups again from boats that took about half an hour, including a family - yawn. Wow just realized they all have painted purple toenails (wtf). Theyâve just clarified there is absolutely no reason for the painting of the purple toenails which I find even weirder now. We also picked up the funny Polish guys again off their boat; their wives were enjoying a champagne brunch. I just started at them with envy. It really goes without saying that I'd much prefer to be on that boat than slapping a spring suit on and getting all this gear in place.Â
I passed my daily morning quiz though, after cramming 150 pages of knowledge into my head last night. This course is fully like being in school again - the dive shop lady greeted me with a "have you done your homework?" today. Â I had a not so nice respond in my head. Â Anyway, it's been nice to pour myself into something new nonetheless, especially when itâs so outside of my normal activity set (which to be honest as a New Yorker is not all that outdoorsy). I dunno how these guys do this every day though; the instructors are lovely and really have a good time together and with the clients which is nice. They clearly love diving. I still think it's cool but super weird, BUT Iâm really stoked because I finished my diving skills today and Iâm partially certified! Wasnât expecting that. I had to fill in my log book and then I got all these stamps. Was a great feeling to have applied myself to this and complete it. Having gone down another 20 get today though, the nitrogen absolutely kicked my ass. Our final dive in Pellicanâs Cove was really nice though; I kept thinking to myself what great color schemes the coral and reef made - there were beautiful deep olive greens, lavenders & dark purples, variations of tan colors & gentle browns. My friend Bobbi (who loves purple) would have went crazy for it. I also remembered via my textbook reading that purple is the strongest hue to maintain underwater, so perhaps thats why it was so pretty. And there were some really nice, soft feather like marine plants that just waved slowly in the waterâs movement along with coral plants that looked like big fans you use when its sweltering. Plus, electric purple fish with bright yellow tails.
DAY 4
I still had to finish my written exam - yikes. 50 multiple choice questions and 10 written dive table problems focused on depth and time. Took me about 90 minutes but I passed! Iâm now a certified diver. I never thought I would ever be able to claim that, nor did I really ever have a desire to, but thats what happens when you let the dominos just fall. Iâm excited for the opportunity to dive someplace new with soft coral - apparently the best if youâre into colors like I am.
To celebrate, I bought myself a pretty beach cover up (to be fair, I had been wearing Vaughanâs Dark & Stormy T-shirt he probably got at a bar) and went to Frenchmanâs Bay. I accidentally stumbled into a massage place again, Serenity Spa here in the harbor. I needed to kill some time but also felt super worked after the pat 3 days of non-stop diving. So Swedish massage it was. Now back at my favorite spot Scaramouch with an Aperol Spritz. So Iâm basically in heaven :)
ST JOHN GETAWAY: A TREEHOUSE MADE FOR ADULTS, EASTER EGGS, SUSHI AND STAR GAZING
St. John is great. For a long time I had inaccurate assumptions of the island being a very posh place with a heavy commercial footprint but itâs very much the opposite; itâs one big beautiful natural park. Some of the most picturesque, beautiful beaches Iâve ever seen are here, and nothing beats passing the day on the beach of your choice (there are plenty) or cruising around the island in a Jeep for rent (a must!).
Vaughan and I decided to go for the Easter holiday weekend, opting to stay at a place called Corcorida which is one of the more interesting accommodations Iâve ever experienced. Itâs an eco-friendly camp, with about 30 âtentsâ which are really treehouses that have accumulated over the past 20 years, sitting on the southeastern most part of the island far away from the main port. Each tent has itâs own solar panel (very cool) and a little kitchen so you can cook your bacon and eggs in the morning. Very camping like, and very much a back to the roots feeling. The views are beautiful, and with the no cellphone policy you are literally forced to play board games (they offer a plentiful selection), enjoy the company of your travel companions, and soak up the nature. Itâs so peaceful there that even a tiny lizard rusting in the leaves made me jump, several times.
The actual accommodations are truly one of a kind, and you feel like a little kid again being there. One morning Vaughan and I were just laying in our beds (we had two singles) nibbling at some strawberries and enjoying the luscious breeze passing through the tented zip-drown windows. He looked at me and said âIsnât this great?â and I just nodded with a big smile calmly thinking, YEAHHH!!!Â
Before we arrived we stopped at a little convenience shop and I was blown away by the inventory. Mostly, their wine selection. We picked up some champers and when we got to our place, got settled and popped the bottle for a little sunset sip. On Easter morning, we had a crazy impressive brunch for a treehouse - I made little Easter surprise with some chocolate treats I brought from NYC (was so happy they didn't completely melt in the midst of my travels) that we had after our hike to Ramâs Head, which was also pretty cool.
Bonus points, the Concordia is far from the main town, so you have a the incredible stars to gaze at as you shut your eyes. I swear the moon was so big and bright one night it looked like a giant spotlight shining down on the sea. This pic below doesnât do justice.Â
A few of suggestions / info for enjoying the island:
Ferry travel is $40 from Tortola plus $20 tax (each way). They have funny little BVI to US Virgin Island customs station that you must pass to enter the territory. Easy breezy but if you ferry stay close to the door when you land so youâre not stuck on a line.
Caneel Bay is a great spot to stay if treehouses arenât your thing. I like the place for the ridiculous sushi - one of the best Iâve had - and I eat sushi a good amount. If you make it to St. John and you like sushi you must go to Caneel Bay Resort. Also to note is Zozoâs, their Italian restaurant. It looks like a place the Flintstoneâs would go on date night (in a good way). The pastas are great, some seafood dishes Iâve had better, but a nice wine list and A+ ambiance. I like the name too.
Jeep Rental. Cruising around in one of these puppies is super fun, windows down and the radio on, breezing through the variety of lush green that fills the island and passing by incredible view points of beaches that make your jaw literally drop - itâs like your looking at a screensaver background but way better because itâs real. There are loads of Jeep rental places right in town. Cost for a day is approx. $70 plus taxes. Way worth it.
Grab a fresh coconut for $5 ($9 with rum) when you get off the ferry. Canât miss it.Â
Today has been quite nice. Vaughan convinced me to go for a run - weâve been waking up at 6:30 / 7am everyday, and heâs training, so I played the supportive girlfriend role and agreed to the early morning workout. We went to the running group meet up and ran into his ex (ha) I had no idea but he was not into it so we detoured and ran through town - MUCH better than going up hill somewhere with cat claws at my back.
We jogged down Main Street, which has about 5 stores - Â full of faded old baseball caps and antique books about the region and pirate life - then slammed down the road to a place where you can swim with dolphins. Iâm really not an advocate of animals in captivity, but we went to have a look and walked right up to these little guys; they were so friendly and popped up and down. Crazy cute.
Then we went for delicious frozen green juices and breakfast snacks at this great cafe - Island Roots (also on Main Street). If you are obsessed with coffee like me, you value the importance of a nice cafe; this is the place. It was a nice break from our regular breakfast at home drill.
When my pretend husband went to work, I went to the ferry station to spend the day at Peter Island. Itâs super pretty. When some rain clouds came overhead I took that as a sign that the spa was necessary (and it was).
Peter Island welcomeÂ
The treatments at the Peter Island Spa are a bit pricey but they are very worth it. A 75 minute massage ran about $190, my splurge of the week, but it felt soooo good. They use a potent eucalyptus oil to begin, very impressive. I nearly fell asleep 4 times. Maybe I did; not really sure. They also have an amazing infinity pool and jacuzzi overlooking the beach. As Tortola is not a popular a destination amongst the other BVI spots, itâs very private, which is obviously a treat to have the whole place to yourself!
May not come as a surprise - the man can buy anything. But he does in fact have fake palm trees near Necker Island where he resides, and they made excellent props for us. Â We conveniently stumbled into this photo opp on Palm Sunday :) Â Boyfriend exploit #1 above
Vaughan is a captain which is a great thing. We chartered a catamaran for the weekend - a great situation if you are able to bareboat. Costs about $100 a person with about 10 person occupancy. The Moorings marina here near Road Town in Wickhamâs Cay has Sunsail cats up for grabs so we went for it.
Trip highlights include:
A young South African who partied like John Belushi for 48 hours straight, still not sure how he is aliveÂ
Visiting the Willy T - a floating boat that serves booze where people have a tendency to jump off the boat in their birthday suits
The most amazing feeling of freedom being out at sea with nothing in the world to disturb you
Stole the dinghy for a spin to heavenly waters. I drove!
 Me and El CapitanÂ
Arrival by sunset in a seaplane (not ours)
The baddest Pirate ever - wanted for 1.5 million GBP
Nice boat crew & breakfast spot (young Saffa in back)Â
Iâm at a little place called âParadise Clubâ that could almost be European - where they are playing those chill Euro vibes you find in the beach bars and day bed spots of Ibiza; if you know me you know that is RIGHT up my alley.
I feel super lucky to be able to switch gears and jump into space thatâs as beautiful as this. But the honest truth is that itâs more of a mental state that you decide by refusing to be complacent and falling into a mundane cycle. You have to balance your efforts in finding the next career move but make sure you ENJOY the time you actually have now - otherwise whatâs the point?
Meanwhile, Iâll continue to stare at the lot of Russians with terrible tattoosâŠand Eva on the beach who has got her tits out again.
Today has been a bit rough.  I made a mediocre lunch - and I fucking HATE when I prepare food and it doesn't look and taste awesomeâŠreally ruffles my feathers. Vaughan lives like a caveman. He's a guy, on an island after all.  Itâs hard as a New Yorker to come down here and get on with it, but I need to quit the bitching⊠idly hotness of the island with chickens yelling all around is just the way it goes sometimes (most times). Â
Spoke with Lauren for consultation on her business, Tuscan Auter, for nearly two hours. We met years ago when we were both living in Italy, and both yearn to reawaken our passions for working in the area of tourism but more specifically, food, wine, design and fabulous boutique hotels. If we could have it our way, weâd be living in Montalcino running the Brunello business.
Vaughan knew I was getting crazy so he came home early and took me to a great new spot in the West End of the island - Scaramouche, Italian owned - very appropriate! I had a delicious Aperol Spritz, and cacio e pepe (never would have thought that was possible here) and admired the genuine Italian decor; it easily could have been an aperitivo hot spot in Rome.
Hard boiled eggs and fruit salad for breakfast - joy. More internet reading at home, managing my Airbnb cleaners that need to tend to my space in Fort Greene, BK that I rented out for the month, welcomed some of Vaughanâs Airbnb guests - two very weird people from St. Thomas. This is in addition to the Turkish guy he has sleeping on the couch - we are full hostel mode and I might scream (but trying to be cool).
I went to Nanny Cay where I drank two bushwhackers in ten minutes it was so hot out - snoozed one the beach for 20 mins or so, and spoke to Suzanne for some consulting work on her new project, Blue Girl in a Red State.
Went for a run with Vaughan, actually kept up and impressed him, gold star.
I made dinner, but the food just sucks here and is so expensive - it makes my blood boil.
I spent the greater part of the morning rolling over my existing 401k to my standard investment managing company - sweating - had a nervous breakdown and cried a little bit. To be fair I did waste 3 hours of my time between companies on hold etc. Sucked. The combo of reality. Whatever.
So, I decided now that all my outstanding admin stuff had been wrapped up, I deserved some sun (and a cocktail). Off to the beach, time for a $3 rum punch and some reading (thanks, Bobbi).
Not really that exciting. The majority of the day involved trying to find a wifi spot so I could work outside the house. Terrible. Then dealt with healthcare stuff, and other admin loose ends that was like salt on the wound, but had too be done. I decided I will have to carve out a schedule of some sort here otherwise I will lose my mind.