nylawtf - Tumblr blog

[nylawtf]

I've laughed so hard during the last few episodes of Weeds, I think I may have seen a sign of abs appearing. 

[nylawtf]

Princess Peach isn't as peachy as she looks. Ha, get it?

Whenever I play Mario Party, I’m ahead for the entire time, until at the very end, Princess Peach activates bitch mode and steals a star off me or something and I lose. Fuck you too, Peach. I bust my ass saving you from Bowser and this is the kind of repayment I get?

[nylawtf]

No, I can't. I wouldn't waste my time. Thank goodness I've only got a few more months left to tolerate, right? 

You can’t hate me forever, buttercup. 

[nylawtf]

People always want more, so I mean— We'd probably find new things to hate. 

What do you think would happen if we all looked the way we wanted? Our ideal weights, heights, and everything else suddenly became our reality? Do you think we’d be happier or just find new things to hate?

[nylawtf]

Everybody makes mistakes, you happened to be mine. Ugh— This conversation is now officially over. Feel free to vanish. 

You seemed to fall for it just fine when we were together. Hasn’t changed much since then, y’know. There’s nothing to fall for, anyway, doll. Just me and you, havin’ a conversation. That’s not too hard to follow, now, is it?

[nylawtf]

Save that stupid look for someone who'll actually fall for it. 

Nice to see you, too, Nyla.  Always a pleasure.

[nylawtf]

That sounds kind of like heaven just about now, maybe minus the bacon because bacon makes me sick. 

All I want in my life right now is a good ‘ol bacon, egg, and cheese on a sesame seed bagel. Make that happen for me and I’ll owe you my life.

[nylawtf]

Intellectuality isn't correlated with sex. If that was a case, you'd be a genius and that's far from the case. 

The more the year progresses, the more I’m convinced that all of you are idiots who need to get laid. And a whole lot more of you seriously need therapy.

[nylawtf]

Rough night?

[nylawtf]

Let's talk about how overpriced their coffee really is. I just go for the double chocolatey chip fraps because they're basically my religion. 

What’s even so fuckin’ great about Starbucks? Not only do their weak ass coffee taste like cough medicine mixed with ten pounds of sugar and smells like a goddamn hospital, but it’s only occupied by old men on laptops and ten year old girls wavin’ ‘round their Frappuchino’s. How the hell do girls expect to find “the One” in that place? People glorify that shit too much for no fuckin’ reason.

[nylawtf]

Oh..., I just figured— Since you..., never mind. So you're trying to pimp out your ride?

No? Why the hell would I do that? It was just a thought.

[nylawtf]

Are you sleeping in your car?

Maybe I should go out and buy one of those air mattresses that can fit in the backseat of your car.

[nylawtf]

...I— How could you?

I hate to break it to you but chocolate is cheating on you with me.

[nylawtf]

Right? I want to make a house out of chocolate, like in Hansel and Gretel. I would die if I was allergic, that would be the worst fate anyone could possibly have.

Who doesn’t want to jump into a pool of chocolate? Well, I mean who besides someone allergic to it that is.

[nylawtf]

Right? I live for chocolate, basically. it's my first and only love. We have a very unhealthy relationship.

That sounds absolutely amazing.

[nylawtf]

Let's skinny dip into Willy Wonka's chocolate waterfall. 

I want to drown in a pool of chocolate

[nylawtf]

I want to jump into a pool of chocolate, that's how bad my cravings are.