nymphwriter - Tumblr blog

[nymphwriter]

I am more excited about this Author's note than I am with this whole chapter. I have always wanted to make a "life is crazy lol anyway here you go" with one of the most Lifetime movie life events. And I finally have it. It hurt like a hog bucking you in the face but let's focus on the brighter side.

[nymphwriter]

When I first joined this fandom in late 2022, I had some traction with some stories. And some people reached out to see if I wanted to join a discord server that was owned by a person who at the time had over 1000 followers and posted quite frequently. She was popular, though she presented herself as much more popular than she was. Let’s call her Z.

I did not connect with everyone there, in fact I was uncomfortable for reasons I will go into in a moment, but there were some people I really did connect with, and I stayed to be close to them. And then one day, my closest friend there was kicked out of the space with little to no explanation. He begged the mods and Z, formerly his close friends, and was blocked. I combed the server, but I couldn’t find anything that he did that in my opinion was worth kicking him out. Then he began losing followers and receiving many hurtful and upsetting anons on his tumblr. Angry, because I suspected they had something to do with it, I stopped posting in there and later left. I was disgusted that this was going on and they were acting to my face like it wasn’t, and still sucking up to me about my stories. He said he was worried about me believing him, believing that whatever he did, he didn’t understand what it was. But having witnessed Z’s behavior in her server I had no problem believing it was her and her friends.

Z used to find fanfiction or art of ships that she didn’t like, and @ everyone in the server to come look at it, despite knowing it was extremely distressing for some members. If you protested that you had no issue with these ships in fiction but that maybe you didn’t want to see that on a Tuesday at work in the general chat, Z and her closest friends would harass you (me) to say that it was bad, and evil. She often called for people to unfollow these artists, or block users who she had found and showed to us without any participation on our part. Despite this she frequently became interested in dead dove subject matter, but it was always ok when she did it. Boundaries did not exist to her, except for the boundaries of her taste and how she thought the world should be. Z would routinely make jokes about sensitive subjects like trans rights, and let's just say it felt like it wasn’t her place. But don’t worry, Z would say, I have friends who are [joke she had made] [from country she had insulted] so it’s fine. There’s only so many times you can hear a joke like that and not wonder why it’s being made over and over. If you were offended, everything was a joke, or there was something you didn’t understand.

This server was a deeply uncomfortable space. Many times I felt harassed over my politics, over my opinions in fiction, and it was often easier to just swallow this. When I met my friends there, they showed courage standing up for themselves and I am so glad that I found them. With them, my experiences of this fandom lightened enormously. Z and her friends had made me so paralyzed, paranoid and unhappy. I had been afraid to even talk about my race however tangentially. I was afraid to make posts against anti behavior, because they had so twisted the way I thought the Billy fandom would perceive them. Thankfully I do not think that the majority of the fandom agrees with her views.

Z apparently has been presenting harassing my friend as a misunderstanding. Perhaps the misunderstanding is that she thinks any of this is harmless. Misunderstandings can be overcome, discussed, apologized for. If someone is confused, you can explain, you can be civil. There was no discussion.

Z made no effort, except to further talk about him and others behind their backs. She never reached out to clear anything up at any time. Her excuses when she made them were frankly shocking. And she never explained to me why my friend was so dangerous, but hid behind fake apologies and more popular friends, lying to my face like things were all good. My friend made a post when he felt safe with her username and the username of another person who harassed him. My friends that I kept from that server are the bravest people I know who understand that reputation means nothing if you can’t look at your own actions with conviction. And Z went away for a time.

Until I earlier this year, I was invited to a very large Billy server. Immediately I was confused by a user I had seemingly never seen before who had me blocked. It was Z, with a new name. She had me blocked until she saw me interacting positively with a very popular artist. Then I somehow became unblocked. Which was very interesting. I came to find that she was very close friends with them or tried to be. She appeared to be very close with the owner of the server too.

I was obviously wary but who knows. People can change. I really believe that. Unfortunately I do not believe that she has changed yet.

All of her old behavior was back as was my paranoia and fear. And it appeared that, emboldened by her friendship with the owner of the server and others, she felt safe going even further. Here was finally what she had craved, a large platform and popularity to continue her previous behavior. I later came to find out that the owner of the server had her own issues with bullying others, twisting the truth, and other, much more serious things. They showed the same character that Z always did, sweet to my face and sour behind everyone’s back. Yet again people said that they worried they wouldn’t be believed. They were afraid of the fandom famous people who were their friends.

Perhaps it’s just me, but if I had been called out in the past for bullying a trans person online I would distance myself from any appearance of transphobia or bullying or lying. Not Z. She in fact announced that she would bully the mods and “everyone” in the server when people joined. I am not paraphrasing, she said he was a bully so often that it was almost comical. She openly said she was an anti when someone confronted her over AGAIN trying to publicly shame authors and create mass unfollowing campaigns. There were no or minimal consequences for this. She would casually bring up the same old jokes and dogwhistles that she used to, uglier with time, and to me pathetically stripped of anything that could have excuse them.

Nobody told me these things. I saw it with my own eyes. But still, somehow, she was the hero, the popular beloved person in every story. I was afraid because she had very powerful friends. Or at least she pretended she did. Because she was friends with a server owner who hurt people I cared about. I am still afraid now. But I’d rather do it afraid for my friends than watch this happen.

I would give up every stupid note on every stupid meme if it meant trans people, and all vulnerable people, felt safe in fandom spaces. I am tired of dishonest communication and trying to play some stupid game I never fucking cared about. If some popular person wants to crush me like a grape for believing my friends, they can go ahead and do it already.

Everybody wants to be liked, everybody wants to be believed. There’s nothing wrong with wanting to be liked. But I’m done waiting for people to believe me or like me. I’m done waiting for people to wake up and take a look in the mirror. To explain and to deign themselves to listen. I believe in my friends. I believe my eyes, and I believe in my own convictions. That’s enough for me.

I believe people can change. I hope they do. But I hope they do away from vulnerable people who they can hurt carelessly.

I’m not blocking you. Clean up your own mess.

[nymphwriter]

New Beginnings & Reflection

When I started this blog, I wanted it to be a safe and welcoming community for everyone who was a fan of Billy Hargrove and Dacre Montgomery. While I had good intentions, I unknowingly added someone to the admin team who I thought was trustworthy that has hurt multiple people in the community with their lies and bigotry.

I'm extremely hurt right now, beyond words. My sympathies go out to those who have been hurt by this individual.

Because I made them an admin as opposed to a mod, I cannot remove them from this blog. The only option is to leave it entirely. This hurts, considering this entire blog was MY idea. My passion project. It doesn't feel fair that my only avenue is to abandon it entirely just because of this person.

So instead, I'm making a new blog. If you would like to still have a Billy source blog, please follow @hargrovedaily. At the moment, it's bare minus one post. I plan to work on it in the coming days then it'll be operating the same way this one had. The blog will be run by me and my girlfriend if she still feels up to continuing this project. After that point, if we are ever to add more members to blog, they will never be promoted to admin. No matter who it is.

As someone who is both trans and Jewish, I can't stand by and ignore everything being posted right now about this individual. I will never stand by their actions. The transphobia, antisemitism, egregious lies, manipulation, etc. displayed by them goes entirely against what this blog was intended for. I'm not gonna take this lying down.

Because they can just delete this post from the blog entirely after myself and @californiaboytoybilly leaves and remove the evidence, I'm going to be reblogging this on my main blog and tagging several of my mutuals and blogs I follow to boost this post before it potentially gets taken down so there's a record of it existing. If you see this and you're in the community, I beg you to reblog.

I'm truly sorry. This fucking sucks. I might be offline for a few days. I'm so sick of losing people.

@jarviscockerssecrethusband @shieldofiron @half-oz-eddie @thediktatortot @dragonflylady77 @destroya2005 @medusapelagia @whenyouwishuponastar7 @oopsiedaisiesbaby @spaceofentropy

[nymphwriter]

Ok, I've been away for a bit. So here's an idea I have for the murder cult fanfic I'm writing.

"Can I rely on you?" The sweet feeble voice sent a chill down the male's broad back. He wiped his slick hands across his slacks ruining the expensive material. He tried to ease his racing heart. It had been so long since he last heard the woman's voice. He last saw her at his son's birth, now eighteen years ago. Taking a silent deep breath he nodded; his body moving before his mouth.

"Yes ma'am. We will see that he is comfortable and has whatever he needs during his stay." His voice stayed clear and sure as he spoke. Glancing up at his wife, she tilted her head in concern as she read him. He normally looked this distressed when on the phone with his mother but this had an underlying scent of fear to it. She swallowed as she deduced who was on the phone. His mother's best friend, Miss Ines-Gabriela, or as her husband called her Zia. After almost twenty years of marriage, she still didn't know the woman's last name.

"Thank you, deary. I want the best for my mijo. You are as perfect as your mother has said. We are so proud of you pequeno." A blush flooded his cheeks at the old nickname. Business was over.

"Grazzi, Zia." The smile that erupted on his face was heard in his voice. Hanging up the phone after fifteen minutes of questions about his and his family's health. He sighed chuckling at the phone. He would have much work to do on his trip home.

"Dear?" Turning to his wife he couldn't stop the slight burn to the corner of his mouth as he smiled harder. She was clean no longer sporting the soaked poncho or filthy gloves. Looking behind her he noticed the now clean room. Not a sign of their former activities besides the body lying still on the table.

"We have to return quickly." HE winced at the sight of fear that flooded her eyes.

"Is Steve?"

"He's ok, mi cori. Gilly is coming over for some personal business. Zia doesn't want him sleeping in his van." Removing his bloddy gloves he cupped her face laying a kiss atop her head as she kissed his palm. She gasped at the last part turning quickly as she gathered her things.

"Absolutely not. He can not sleep in that old thing. I'll ring Harrien, and tell her to have the guest room ready for his arrival. You'll need to warn Jim and get the cabin prepped for him."

"Yes, mi cori." He smiled following behind her as she ordered his men into their next tasks.

[nymphwriter]

𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝 𓆟

This is my contribution to the Harringrove Relay Race! @harringrove-relay-race

To Catch My Falling Heart

Please look forward to the amazingly talented work from the next contributor, [@bigdumbbambieyes].

𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝 𓆟

[nymphwriter]

"This fic was ai generated—" Cool, so lemme block you real quick

[nymphwriter]

inspired by Fire (please don't) walk with me by @ihni

reblogs are appreciated but do not repost

[nymphwriter]

Makes me wanna work on that fanfic I have of them two.♡♡♡

七五三(Shichi-Go-San), 2023/11/15.

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- Heeey I'm back hereeeeee! ^0^) _ 2023/11/24 _ 01:10

[nymphwriter]

I have this quiet, but persistent headcanon that Billy refuses to be homophobic. Ever.

It's the one part of himself he won't compromise with.

He doesn't know where this stubbornness comes from, if his mom managed to install the tiniest bit of self worth in him, locked it up tight and threw away the key before she left for good or if he did that himself somehow.

But no one has managed. Not even Neil, with all his beatings and hateful bullshit. Billy never ever hates himself for being gay. He hates himself for plenty of other reasons, but never for that.

He doesn't advertise it, sure. He's not fucking stupid. But this silent defiance manifests in many different ways.

Like when he catches Heather and Zoe making out behind the supply shed after hours. Simply taps his nose at Heather's horrified expression and loudly diverts Adam's attention when the guy moves their way to put away the pool noodles.

Or when Tommy nudges him at lunch and repeats the same hushed rumour Billy has been overhearing all week "heard Buckley's a dyke" and Billy, smooth as butter goes "nah, saw her sucking face with a guy behind the diner, she likes them college age" and within another week the rumours are different, but much less fatal.

Or when Billy's in town trying to get cigarettes and he walks past a group of kids calling the Byers kid a fag and Billy doesn't hesitate to scare the living shit out of them, has them them legging it down the street before he moves on without a word, not in the mood to talk to Max's loser friend.

Or when Carl Fucking Tanner calls Billy a pansy for bailing on the party that Friday night and Billy quickly makes him regret it.

Billy isn't a good person.

But that's the one place he won't go.

Because once he leaves this shithole, once he's free from Neil and all the crap that comes with living under his roof, Billy needs one part of himself that he can live with, one part that he didn't betray no matter how bad shit got.

So when Steve asks Billy if he's into guys, Billy answers honestly, unapologetically. Because if this is the thing that's gonna make Steve hate him for real, then Steve was never worth it.

The kiss he gets instead is a surprise, but a good one.

[nymphwriter]

Eddie blinked, looking up at Steve as the boy's face tinted red in embarrassed rage. He was upset, of course he was, who wouldn't be. After watching your love be who you wanted for someone else.

"I'm sorry..." But what did Steve's feelings about Billy have to do with him? Why would he apologize for the way another man felt?

"I'm sorry you couldn't make him comfortable enough around you that he felt safe enough to drop his guard. I'm sorry that you couldn't listen to his unfiltered laugh or hear his real voice and see him in a vulnerable light. I'm sorry you couldn't show him how much you supposedly cared in order to see his raw self." Eddie stared into the softer chocolate irises. He watched them fill with tears as they widened in shock.

"However, I will not apologize for gaining his love and trust. I will not apologize for doing what you couldn't."

[nymphwriter]

messy chaotic ‘we’re terrible for each other but can’t keep our hands off each other’ prompts

oh hello i am in fact alive

“do you ever actually think before speaking? like is your brain capable of processing a thought??” “yeah, it’s just immune to idiotic ones”

“take that back” “prove me wrong” (or; a cliché ‘make me’)

being in some sort of intense slightly pointless staring match (after an argument, preferably) and just saying “oh fuck it who cares” and pulling their neck down to kiss them

“do you the sex would be boring if we didn’t argue before it every time?” “i mean, we could always argue during”

^or, alt: doing it once when you’re not arguing instead kinda tipsy but not drunk, and it’s all giggles and laughter and sweet nothings and the next morning being like “oh fuck i actually like them”

“why does everything with you have to be so difficult!?” “it’s fun getting you all riled up”

“oh, if i had known that’s all it would take for you to shut up i would’ve done this ages ag-“ “only finish that sentence if you have a death wish”

“you’re doing it wrong” “jesus, would you just relax” “no because i’m wasting my tim- oh, oh my god-” the other character smirking, “don’t look so smug” “i think i’ve earned the right, now just trust me, okay? believe it or not, i want to make you feel good”

“so you’ll finally stop being an asshole and just sign the document?” “keep doing this and i’ll sell you my house”

getting jealous and the other character pretending that it’s unreasonable, but secretly character A is the only one they feel a spark with. the only one they feel excited to be around

“we should probably stop this” “yeah” … “we’re not going to though, right?” “oh absolutely not”

“nope no nada, no using sex to get me to do things you want, it’s not going to work anymore”

“you really are a fucking asshole aren’t you?” “yes, i believe that’s what’s on my resume”

“i hate you” “i know” “and that won’t change” “i know” “and you’re still okay with this?” no “yes”

“imagine a universe where we didn’t hate each other, that would be so-“ “boring?” “yeah! like imagine not bickering over tiny things, that’s no fun”

“she says we bicker like an old married couple”

talking with a friend; “you shouldn’t go there” “i know” “and you shouldn’t sleep with them” “i know” “it’s a bad idea” “i know” “well. will you?” “..yeah”

“i know we’re terrible for each other but every time i look at them it’s just like my brain flies out the window and my hormones take over”

“we’re broken up, it’s just two friends going out for drinks, okay?” ending up in one’s bed, but alright

“did you sleep together?” “noooo, i just-“ “tripped on a stone and accidentally dailed his number which magically led to you two meeting at a pub and you just magically teleported to your bedroom without your clothes on? yeah, thought so”

[nymphwriter]

Let’s all celebrate the beauty of Harringrove and the fandom creators together. Join us on December 22, 2023, to spectate the 24 Hour Harringrove Relay Race!

Keep reading for more details and the significance of this artwork.

: ̗̀➛ The meaning behind the artwork:

A winter flower, the camellia is prized for its exquisitely shaped petals and evergreen foliage. Deep red camellias can symbolize passion, love, romance, and desire and convey “my heart bleeds for you” Blue roses are rare, and a popular gift among lovers, who often give them to express their feelings for one another. Dark shades of blue roses mean mystery and a dream come true. They represent the attainment of the impossible. 

These flowers are a display of love ♡

Artwork credit goes to the talented Albsans

: ̗̀➛ What is the Harringrove Relay Race? 

A relay race is an event where every hour (or more, or less, depending on the number of participants), a creator reveals their work at an assigned time, and then "passes the baton" by introducing the next creator in line to reveal their work. 

This particular event will last for 24 hours nonstop until all the works have been revealed.

After the relay race, the artists and authors will receive a PDF memory book of all the works contributed to the race, as a thank-you for taking part.

: ̗̀➛ Where will it take place?

December 22nd, 2023 on Tumblr. All works will be shared under the #harringrove relay race tag.

Artists and authors are free to reveal their works on other platforms as long as it is at their assigned time. 

: ̗̀➛ When will the timetable and participants be revealed?

The timetable and list of participants will be revealed on December 1st, to give participants time to schedule their work or be available at their reveal time.

: ̗̀➛ Can I participate? 

Participants in the race have been personally invited, but you can support the creators by reblogging, liking, and leaving positive feedback.

Hopefully, there will be another relay race and you are welcome to send a message if you’re interested in participating next time!

There is no specific criteria or application process. we just reached out to as many people as we could think of, in the hopes that this would be successful ♡

If you have not filled out the form sent with your invitation, we will not be able to add you to the timeline. So please do so as soon as possible!

[nymphwriter]

[nymphwriter]

who’s gonna give me literature nerd billy, huh? billy who has at least three paperbacks on his person at any one time? who has a small stack of hardbacks stuffed into the extra trunk space of the camaro and a few snuck into the beemer? billy who can’t help but write his corrections in the wildly outdated history books in the school library? steve using his tummy as a pillow while he reads out loud from the silmarillion and they smoke weed? going over el’s assignments and gently helping her correct her grammar? sitting with max and writing strongly worded letters to the teachers who insist she “dress appropriately”? taking foreign language lessons with robin for extra credit??? teaching will the basics of writing a coherent and complete story, fostering his interest in becoming a Dungeon Master and swapping comics????! billy who loves literature and language in all its forms and billy who will fucking deck anybody who makes fun of him for it.

[nymphwriter]

Werewolf!Eddie X Hunter!Billy

CW: stabbing, blood

Eddie sucks in a breath through his teeth while his sharp nails dig into the back of Billy's neck. Still, he smiles and kisses Billy again. He almost seems desperate, like he needs it to live. Billy refuses to let himself believe that. Instead, he just digs the knife in deeper.

Eddie groans and moves his hand from Billy's neck to his shoulder. "You're a pain in my ass," he says, resting his forehead against Billy's.

"Likewise."

Laughing, Eddie leans back a little, his yellow eyes crinkle at the corners, and his smile is bright, showing off razor-sharp teeth. Billy should be terrified. He should see Eddie as a threat, the guy could tear him apart if he wanted to. And yet Billy is not, he's perfectly at ease, not a nerve out of place.

"Why haven't you killed me yet?"

"I've been trying."

Eddie hums, trails his fingers down the side of Billy's neck. Stopping at a pulse point, Eddie presses down, sharp nails once again breaking Billy's skin.

"If you had been trying, you wouldn't still be fucking me."

Eddie drags his fingers down Billy's chest.

"If you had been trying, you never would've told me you love me.

If you really had been trying-" He grips Billy's hand around the handle tightly, "-you would've used silver." He pulls the knife out of his own abdomen and holds it up between them. "You also would've gone for the heart."

Billy diverts his attention from Eddie to the knife, blood drips down from the blade and onto their hands.

"Honest mistake."

Eddie barks a laugh and turns away from him. "You are many thing, Hargrove, a fucking psycho for example, but a piss poor hunter is not one of them." Eddie takes his jacket off the bed and puts it on. He turns back around, eyes, now back to brown, focused on Billy. "You don't make mistakes."

He doesn't. Billy tracks Eddie's movement as he walks to the door and opens it. "Why do you keep coming back if I'm such a psycho?"

Eddie stops in the doorway and looks over his shoulder, the corner of his mouth quirking up, "I wouldn't if you weren't." Eddie steps outside and adds, "And maybe because I love you too," before closing the door.

Billy tosses the knife aside and lets himself fall on the bed, he brings his hand to his neck, his fingers coming away red. "Asshole," he mumbles and smiles to himself as he hears Eddie's motorcycle drive out the motel parking lot.

[nymphwriter]

Eddie: I want a flamethrower. Billy: What do you want a flamethrower for?? Eddie: You know EXACTLY what I want a flamethrower for. Billy: Yes, which is EXACTLY why I'm not getting you a flamethrower! You don't even have a flamethrower and I've taken you to the ER THREE TIMES.

[nymphwriter]

Ok, so hear me out. Billy, especially if it's a good horror movie, and he can't tell when the jump scares are coming. His anxiety is through the roof, and he's hiding behind something or in a corner. He takes his dates to movies he's already seen, so he keeps the macho look.