nyxtickled

[nyxtickled]

dont tag bible stuff as mythology God isnt mythology

hi hello how are you. most if not all story-based religions are in fact considered mythology by definition including the abrahamic religions. god is in fact abrahamic mythos whether you think he’s real or not. im sorry if that upsets you but im assuming this is regarding the post i just reblogged and i have to say im surprised the part you’re upset about is me tagging biblicalia as mythology and not the entire discussion on who tops in jesus/judas ship discourse

[nyxtickled]

okay pause whoever just cashapped me to “spite that anon” please dm me because you just got us a costco membership and i need to thank you but i can’t remember ur tumblr handle 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

did u pocket all the money ppl gave u for nest then dip ??

yes, that is one way to look at it.

in march i held my pup in my arms and kissed her head over and over as she struggled to breathe until the doctor ended her suffering for us after only 3 months of fighting her sudden diagnosis of lymphoma. she would have turned 4 less than a month later.

that dog was my ESA, my baby, my world. i did everything with her and raised her from 8 weeks old. i knew her from the day she was born. losing her so suddenly and after fighting so hard with weekly appointments and a slew of medications just.. broke something in my brain. i am still not the same. i don’t know when i will feel like myself again. i am just going through the motions and letting the grief do what it wants with me.

and then there was NEST. it has been on my mind a lot actually. yes, i accepted donations to help me fund my ticket and flight. however, most of the fundraising i did was in the form of custom content. i bought my ticket. i even bought my wife’s ticket. and then we lost Fawkes. since then, everything has been dark.

anyway, i don’t say any of this to create excuses. i am glad you mentioned it, because even in the days leading up to the event i grappled with the prospect of going and talked to my wife about it over and over. i would sit there and get ready to write something on discord, or open the tumblr app, and then just freeze. i couldn’t even click on the notification bubbles and eventually just turned all of my notifications off for all of my apps. i couldn’t even log in.

if you have ever been to a gathering, you likely know how incredibly intoxicating the energy is. it’s like going on a bender, but the drug is kink. it’s a complete and total flood of dopamine from start to finish. it’s beautiful, it’s life-changing, it’s empowering, it’s freeing. and it also has the potential to hit like a bomb when you get back home.

i knew that even if i tried my hardest to go and enjoy myself, i was running the risk of catapulting myself into even more of a black hole than i was already in when i returned. my engineering classes started up again in april, and it has been consistently taking all of my resolve just to keep up with homework and studying. not to mention i was still crying about once a day at this point, sometimes more. so, there was also a pretty hefty chance that i would get there and wind up hiding in a room the entire time after realizing i couldn’t tap into the level of joy and sensuality that would have surrounded me.

as a result i made the decision to stay home. and i wanted to share that choice with everyone, i know i should have. but again, i froze and said nothing. lately it has felt as though all the words ive ever known have just left my body entirely. and, again, not an excuse - just an honest explanation.

that being said, i have still thought of the people who helped me with funds outside of purchasing content from me many times. to those reading this: if you donated anything to me with the intent of helping me get to NEST, please contact me directly and i will return it to you. i would never intentionally take advantage of anyone’s generosity. i never reached out to ask for a refund for my tickets or anything, so i lost out too. i just, disappeared. emotionally, mentally, pretty much in every way except physically, i disappeared with Fawkes on that night. every penny i raised has just been used to pay for bills, supplies for our 3 kitties (and 2 tiny kittens we’ve been fostering since our friend saved them from the side of the freeway, long story, cat distribution system is real as fuck) and whatever else we have needed to get by.

to all of my friends who haven’t heard from me, i’m truly so sorry. it won’t be forever, so please don’t worry. exene has been absolutely incredible at caring for me and holding me through it all every day. trust me when i say i look forward the moment i wake up from this as much as you do. i love you with all of my damn heart and i think of you all the time. i’m just.. stuck.

anyways, would it really be a nyx update if it wasn’t 3x longer than it needed to be? 💀 moral of the story: if you donated freely rather than buying content, please let me know if you want your donation back. i will not hesitate to return it to you as soon as i can. i have not done anything with the funds other than live off of them, and barely living at that, lol.

all of my love to u. <3

[nyxtickled]

did u pocket all the money ppl gave u for nest then dip ??

yes, that is one way to look at it. (tw: pet loss, grief)

in march i held my pup in my arms and kissed her head over and over as she struggled to breathe until the doctor ended her suffering for us after only 3 months of fighting her sudden diagnosis of lymphoma. she would have turned 4 less than a month later.

that dog was my ESA, my baby, my world. i did everything with her and raised her from 8 weeks old. i knew her from the day she was born. losing her so suddenly and after fighting so hard with weekly appointments and a slew of medications just.. broke something in my brain. i am still not the same. i don’t know when i will feel like myself again. i am just going through the motions and letting the grief do what it wants with me.

and then there was NEST. it has been on my mind a lot actually. yes, i accepted donations to help me fund my ticket and flight. however, most of the fundraising i did was in the form of custom content. i bought my ticket. i even bought my wife’s ticket. and then we lost Fawkes. since then, everything has been dark.

anyway, i don’t say any of this to create excuses. i am glad you mentioned it, because even in the days leading up to the event i grappled with the prospect of going and talked to my wife about it over and over. i would sit there and get ready to write something on discord, or open the tumblr app, and then just freeze. i couldn’t even click on the notification bubbles and eventually just turned all of my notifications off for all of my apps. i couldn’t even log in.

if you have ever been to a gathering, you likely know how incredibly intoxicating the energy is. it’s like going on a bender, but the drug is kink. it’s a complete and total flood of dopamine from start to finish. it’s beautiful, it’s life-changing, it’s empowering, it’s freeing. and it also has the potential to hit like a bomb when you get back home.

i knew that even if i tried my hardest to go and enjoy myself, i was running the risk of catapulting myself into even more of a black hole than i was already in when i returned. my engineering classes started up again in april, and it has been consistently taking all of my resolve just to keep up with homework and studying. not to mention i was still crying about once a day at this point, sometimes more. so, there was also a pretty hefty chance that i would get there and wind up hiding in a room the entire time after realizing i couldn’t tap into the level of joy and sensuality that would have surrounded me.

as a result i made the decision to stay home. and i wanted to share that choice with everyone, i know i should have. but again, i froze and said nothing. lately it has felt as though all the words ive ever known have just left my body entirely. and, again, not an excuse - just an honest explanation.

that being said, i have still thought of the people who helped me with funds outside of purchasing content from me many times. to those reading this: if you donated anything to me with the intent of helping me get to NEST, please contact me directly and i will return it to you. i would never intentionally take advantage of anyone’s generosity. i never reached out to ask for a refund for my tickets or anything, so i lost out too. i just, disappeared. emotionally, mentally, pretty much in every way except physically, i disappeared with Fawkes on that night. every penny i raised has just been used to pay for bills, supplies for our 3 kitties (and 2 tiny kittens we’ve been fostering since our friend saved them from the side of the freeway, long story, cat distribution system is real as fuck) and whatever else we have needed to get by.

to all of my friends who haven’t heard from me, i’m truly so sorry. it won’t be forever, so please don’t worry. exene has been absolutely incredible at caring for me and holding me through it all every day. trust me when i say i look forward the moment i wake up from this as much as you do. i love you with all of my damn heart and i think of you all the time. i’m just.. stuck.

anyways, would it really be a nyx update if it wasn’t 3x longer than it needed to be? 💀 moral of the story: if you donated freely rather than buying content, please let me know if you want your donation back. i will not hesitate to return it to you as soon as i can. i have not done anything with the funds other than live off of them, and barely living at that, lol.

all of my love to u. <3

[nyxtickled]

hi my loves. i wanted to give a quick update - i’m alive, getting thru the days albeit barely, and i’m sorry to anyone who has been worried/concerned due to my complete online absence.

truthfully, this kind of grief has been unmatched and i’m sort of just a shell of myself right now. i started a new school quarter, i visited my family across the country (and finally introduced them all to my ~wife~ !!!), celebrated 9 years clean from hard IV drugs, and in 5 days i will be honoring what would have been Fawkes’ 4th birthday. but these are all just tip of the iceberg things that are going on.

it was really all just enough to make my brain break a little, and i’ve been completely off the grid. menial tasks such as laundry or feeding myself at times feel like i’m one of those old dudes who scale the side of a skyscraper for funsies just to get arrested when they make it to the top.

but i love you, i love everyone who has been thinking about me or messaged me to check on me, and i really did not expect to lose my bandwidth this severely for this long. but losing my lil baby really did a number on me. im sure i will be back in the world soon, and i already have so much to tell you all. but right now, the most i can really do is make it through the day as a sort of essence. like, eau de nyx, that’s kind of what i feel like rn. i haven’t opened tumblr or discord, my brain freezes every time i try to look, so if you’re trying to reach out, i hope you may accept this as a temporary pre-response. i miss you guys and i really can’t wait til i can come back to my weird little corner of the internet with my freaky lil friends. <3

[nyxtickled]

feeling a bit insecure so ykw. shout out to all the disabled kinky ppl out there!!

♡ disabled subs who need pillows or braces for joint support during sex <3

♡ disabled doms who rely more on verbal commands/general words than physical punishment bc of muscle weakness <3

♡ disabled kinksters who have to put a hold on aspects of kink bc their body is in too much of a flare up to cause additional damage <3

♡ disabled doms who rely on toys to avoid a flare up <3

♡ disabled ppl who need their disability prioritized during aftercare so they don’t end up in an energy deficit for days <3

♡ disabled ppl who prioritize their comfort and use mobility aides during/after sex how they need to in order to feel GOOD <33!!!!!

I love u all and im smooching u right on the forehead, your disability makes u no less sexy and worthy of mind blowing sex ♡ ♡ ♡

[nyxtickled]

yes, even the famous gifs of tickle abuse (the company) videos that get reblogged are also stolen porn and you should stop posting/reblogging those

[nyxtickled]

are you really a brat, or are you just tired of people pleasing and being bossed around?

are you really a brat, or are you just scared of giving up control and trusting that someone else can take care of you the way that you need?

are you really a brat, or are you just too afraid to ask for what you want because you might be ignored or rejected?

are you really a brat, or do you just want to misbehave and disobey while still being loved and accepted for who you are?

are you really a brat, or does that "no" feel way too good after spending most of your life saying "yes"?

[nyxtickled]

where are the sapphic knismos… i desperately need more wlw content on my dash. especially if it’s sapphic tickling 🫠

[nyxtickled]

At AUNT, I had the pleasure of having my first session with the lovely @the-purple-shirted-tickler

We've been talking everyday since ?October? (time is weird) and he was definitely at the top of my list for people I wanted to session with. He helped me film the W part of my Tickle ABC's and gave me the ride of a lifetime with all the tools he used on my poor feet.

Some of the most flustering things he did was threaten one spot, then tickle another or cover my mouth while he destroyed my underarms.

Also, this guy gives amazing aftercare cuddles.

Thank you for helping me creating this memorable experience, my dear friend 💛

[nyxtickled]

craving that butterfly feeling in my tummy when someone is chasing me right before catching & pinning me <3 craving to feel that giggly & squirmy. and just a little scared. hmph.

[nyxtickled]

What if I want to enjoy taking you apart AND enjoy putting you back together? 😈😊

[nyxtickled]

don’t understand where people get the energy to be an active participant in their own lives. the days just happen to me for real

[nyxtickled]

actually im jacking on. im locked the fuck in

[nyxtickled]

i want to be hopelessly trapped in the most fucked up tickling situations imaginable

[nyxtickled]

craving the feeling of some poor sweet thing kicking and writhing underneath me, begging me to stop tickling them and telling me how mean and awful I am... it's a music I crave to hear

[nyxtickled]

I need to be put in my place by being tickled

[nyxtickled]

I think the best part of this whole tickling thing is that the nervousness will never go away it’s instinctual I like that