oakgreenoak

[oakgreenoak]

[oakgreenoak]

it is absolutely essential to have friends you can have extremely insane pervert conversations with. this is kind of what makes life worth living

[oakgreenoak]

📦 Shipping update: we're not delivering your parcel because you checked the tracking page too much and we got shy about it

[oakgreenoak]

very much a fan of this post so i felt compelled to make my own. print it out and give it to your coworkers or hang it in your cubicle and go "don't make me tap the sign"

[oakgreenoak]

I'm going to say it. The (word in parentheses) meme is way better for tone indication than tone indicators

[oakgreenoak]

reblog to give writers the power to write 10k words of porn without plot

[oakgreenoak]

The problem with playing smash or pass is that there's a lot of characters which I'm not sexually attracted to but I would fuck in a heartbeat out of sheer curiosity and ego, like I don't find Mickey Mouse attractive at all but if he approached me at a bar and went "Hey sexy, want me to show you my mouseketool?" I would say yes because then I get to tell my friends I fucked Mickey Mouse

[oakgreenoak]

I've been doing a lot of thinking about my family and how I was treated as a child, and honestly, my father has never seemed more amazing in my eyes.

I used to love Luigi(Mario's brother) when I was little. Like, he was my favorite character ever, and I had multiple plushies of him. Didn't give a fuck about Mario, vaguely tolerated Peach, but I loved Luigi.

On my first day of kindergarten, my dad gave me the number for his work phone and said it was Luigi's phone number. "If anything happens at school, call Luigi."And not even twenty minutes into my first day, I was having a panic attack. So I went down to the principal's office and called "Luigi."

Now, at the time, my father was in a meeting with his manager and his supervisor, along with most of his coworkers. And when I called, he picked up before he even left the room.

And he put on a very awful Italian accent and said, "Itsa me, Luigi! Whatsa the matter?"In front of his boss and coworkers. Without telling them what was going on. So they were absolutely bewildered, and he carried on like they didn't even exist. He only explained what was happening after I had calmed down and hung up, to which most of them responded with "Aww, cute."

I continued to call him whenever I got upset at school, and eventually his coworkers got in on it. I distinctly remember one of them impersonating Toad. I don't know why I'm telling you this, I just thought it might make you smile :)

this is so delightful I love your Luigi dad

[oakgreenoak]

quite possibly most hilariously vile thing to put in a rejection letter. thank god i dont care about this school bc this is so fucking funny

[oakgreenoak]

[oakgreenoak]

observation: among a certain subset of tumblr users, the term “blorbo” has become unchic, but the concept it describes is still important; and so it has been replaced with “The Character”

[oakgreenoak]

u know someone’s about to get dragged through the mud when an academic uses the phrase ‘it’s tempting to assume’

[oakgreenoak]

The purpose of life is to get really into stories that drive you so crazy you sometimes feel the need to throw up from how much you love them

[oakgreenoak]

when theres drama in ur group

[oakgreenoak]

Easy entertainment

[oakgreenoak]